Chapter Eleven
Fear.
It had been her fear of what was to come that had caused her to freeze up at the last moment, to decide that she would be better off hiding in her room rather than facing him. But it had also been that fear that had caused her to comply.
She didn't need nor want to be simple - to be human.
But in that moment, the single second it took for those beautiful claws to descend on her being she decided that - she wanted to be human. She had decided that she needed the simplistic view on life that she held, that she wanted it and craved it above all else.
But it was within that moment that she realized she didn't want it either.
Perhaps it was the sound of flesh hitting flesh that had caused her to make that declaration within her mind, or perhaps it had something to do with the flare of life that had awoken within her, but whatever it was she found that she was craving it - desiring it more than she had desired that simplicity.
Fighting - it was what she was born for.
The power that was nurtured inside of her - hidden until she found proper use of it - continued to swell until it grew to be so much that she could no longer harbor it within her - that it started to seek release.
That was when she had truly become a miko.
It was when she no longer needed that simplicity that drove her to fear - but the desire to avoid that fear.
She was a warrior, and she needed to protect.
And that was why - that was why he continued to beat her and bruise her. That was why he continued to poke and prod and push and pull until there was nothing left. It was because he knew her duty and he knew that she needed to fulfill it.
To protect others.
That was her duty – that was the reason why that simplistic fantasy of being human did not appeal to her - that was why it couldn't appeal to her.
When her miko powers had awoken, when they had started to seek release, it had crafted her into a warrior, driven her until she could take no more.
To protect others.
She had to protect others; her blood wouldn't allow her to do any differently. And even if she had found some desire to lead a simple life, she simply did not know if it would have been enough for her - because the need to release the powers that continually swelled within her would have become to great. She would have needed an outlet, something that would allow her to dispel those swelling powers while protecting those in need at the same time.
That was what he was teaching her now.
And although she didn't approve of his methods, it was still necessary.
He was testing her resistance, her resilience.
He was testing everything that she was and ever could be.
He was testing her strengths, and calculating her weaknesses.
He was seeing how blinded by her emotions she would be and could get - he was simply testing her.
But somehow, she didn't feel grateful, because he continued to poke and prod and push and pull, and her ribs were now feeling the after effects of it as she struggled to breathe.
"Damn it wench," Inuyasha swore as Kagome struggled to stand, "this is even worse than last time."
"Maybe," Kagome wheezed, ignoring how weak her knees felt under her weight, " it's because last time I wasn't injured. Why don't you try fighting with a half demon while you have a large gaping hole in your side and tell me how you feel!"
"Don't give me that lame excuse you idiot wench, I've dealt with much worse," Inuyasha said dismissively.
"Oh?" Kagome asked with a tilt of her head, "Then why don't you tell me."
Inuyasha looked at her sharply, raising a delicate eyebrow at her demand. And if giving her another moment to think he would have - he would have told her all of the fights he had gone through, and exactly what his fighting techniques were, right down to the tiniest detail but no. He wouldn't allow his mind to wander - he would not be deterred.
"Clever little bitch," he said affectionately, smirking at the way she bristled, "you're training remember? You don't want to be a weak frail human anymore and frankly, if you keep trying to get me off subject you will remain weak and frail and - I don't feel like fucking babysitting you on the way to the Northern Border."
"Then have someone else do it Inuyasha. I don't mind being watched -"
"No," Inuyasha said simply as he slid into a fighting stance.
Kagome frowned, "And why not Inuyasha? Why is it that you don't trust anyone around me?" Kagome asked, effectively dodging his slow attack.
But Inuyasha wasn't listening - he couldn't listen, because if he did, he would be forced into the reality that he had tried his hardest to ignore. The revelation of him actually being her friend still irked him and - she simply knew too much.
Despite the fact that she was a miko, she still knew too much about him. She knew about his mother - how he wanted nothing more than to have Naraku's blood stain his hands. She knew about his feelings toward that incident - she knew that every time he thought about her, he was filled with a throbbing ache that lasted for days on end.
She simply knew too much.
And if - if she learned about his new desire to protect her then - he didn't know what he would do.
That strange voice had been enough to send him over the edge, to make him admit several times that she was his friend, and by being his friend that she was under his protection. And he would go to startling lengths to protect her.
It was almost as if - he needed it - and he would be damned if he let that opportunity pass him up.
He had already failed in protecting his mother; he wouldn't fail in protecting Kagome as well.
Besides, they had those same beautiful stormy blue eyes.
"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked tentatively as his eyes clouded over.
"What?" His voice was gruff and low, almost sorrowful with a hint of unrepressed need.
"Um - are you ok?"
Inuyasha didn't look at her.
White fluffy clouds drifted lazily through the crystal blue sky.
Birds chirped merrily in the distance.
Silence was all that met Kagome's ears.
"Ah - well," Kagome began awkwardly, "You don't have to answer because it's really none of my business and ah -"
"How did you feel when your mother died?" Inuyasha asked suddenly, causing Kagome to look at him with a bewildered expression.
"Oh, um, well what do you mean?" Kagome asked quietly, struggling with words, because - she didn't know. And suddenly, she was hurting.
She could feel her chest constricting painfully, as her heart throbbed with a dull ache. If she had remembered her mother, perhaps it would have been easier for her to understand, but she didn't because - all she remembered was a calming white void.
It was her sanctuary within herself, a place where she nurtured her wounds and grew stronger. It was all that she was able to remember before she was reawakened and introduced back into reality. It was all she was able to remember before she met Inuyasha.
A sad smile ghosted on her lips.
"Honestly Inuyasha," Kagome started, her voice calm and cool, "I don't remember anything up until I met you. It's just - there are memories, but they are so scattered I don't even think -" Kagome faltered, giving Inuyasha an almost pleading look, but he merely nodded, urging her to go on.
"The thing that stands out in my mind most vividly are these sparkling blue eyes. It's almost as though, every time I'm in panic I just see them and - I seek comfort from them. I don't know if they are my mother's eyes or not. I just - what did you see when you looked at your mother?" Kagome asked silently, moving to sit down on the grass beneath her feet.
And for a moment, Kagome wished that she could take back what she asked at seeing the pained look on Inuyasha's face, but it vanished almost as quickly as it came, and he sat down next to her, taking a moment of silence to think about his words.
"Warm. I remember that I always felt warm around her. She was always smiling and she liked to hold me - a lot," he amended quietly, a small smile spreading across his features. " And there were times when I was younger and she would watch me while I played, and even from being so far away from her I could simply - feel - the warmth and the love that radiated off of her."
"She sounds wonderful," Kagome supplied with a hint of longing.
"She was wonderful, but the most enchanting thing about her was that she had these smoky blue eyes that just swirled with emotions. Kind of," Inuyasha turned to Kagome, his amber eyes glimmering and intense, " like yours."
Kagome's words were lost in her throat as she stared at him, confused and disoriented.
Vulnerable.
Within that moment Inuyasha looked completely lost and vulnerable.
And Kagome couldn't help but wonder, did he always feel like that whenever the distant memories of his mother were stirred?
But she wouldn't give him sympathy because - because he would throw it back in her face - he would make her train again and his face would become dark and his eyes calculating - exactly like the first time he had trained her and she didn't - she didn't want that.
A smirk played at her lips.
"Thank you for reminding me," Kagome said suddenly, standing up to brush off her robes.
"Reminding you?" Inuyasha asked, the haughtiness returning in his eyes.
"Yes," Kagome said simply," thank you for reminding you that I still owe a slow and torturous death."
Inuyasha snorted.
"What for?"
Kagome whirled on him, her anger over the matter rekindled.
"You know what for. The last time we trained remember? You - you pushed and pushed and you caused me to go through all of those trials and such and - it was all your fault, so yes, I am going to kill you for that."
Inuyasha merely smirked at her.
"You can't fucking kill me," he replied, his voice harsh and rough, "you can't even block a simple blow. What makes you think that you can kill me?"
" Well," Kagome started, faltering slightly.
"Keh. Stupid weak human."
"I can purify you."
And despite the fact that her voice had been calm and cold when she had stated it, she should have known that the fear that was bubbling underneath the surface would have risen.
Inuyasha sensed it.
"What?" Inuyasha demanded, his voice dropping several octaves as he fed off of her fear, his eyes flashing dangerously.
"I said," Kagome started, unsure of whether or not she should finish the sentence," that I can purify you."
"That's what I thought."
Her blue eyes were wide now, flickering with fear as she watched him reach out to grasp her forearm, his claws extended as though ready to strike.
Homicidal - he looked completely homicidal.
And Kagome didn't allow herself to give it a second thought.
She bolted.
And Inuyasha's lips quirked upwards as she darted away from her, thanking her for allowing him to enjoy the chase because - he needed release.
An escape from reality - he needed it.
And - he darted after her, smirking devilishly as he pounced, effectively pinning her to the ground - her blue eyes wide in fear and anticipation.
"Now doesn't this seem familiar?" Inuyasha asked arrogantly, cocking his head to the side as his claws dug into her forearms.
And gods - for a minute - he looked so innocent looking back her with those haughty, questioning amber eyes but - Kagome's eyes flared with anger.
"You arrogant jerk," she said harshly, "let me go."
"I don't think you're in the position to make demands wench," Inuyasha bit out just as harshly ," After all, you were the one who threatened to purify me. I should say that I hold your life in my hands."
And then - it pulsed.
Inuyasha blinked, staring down at Kagome in wonder as she continued to glare up at him, unaware of the vibration that was humming through him.
It was picking at him, pulling and breaking down his defenses, stirring up something within him that he had attempted to lay to rest ever since the death of his mother.
At first, the shockwaves of power weren't distinguishable, albeit they felt somewhat familiar. But the longer he rested there, the more distinguishable it became.
The vibrations continued to pulsate through him, breaking his defenses, shattering him, gnawing at his mind until there was nothing left but that one, familiar, distinguishable feeling. It was that same feeling that he had seen glimmering in the eyes of a hundred demons only days before.
Lust.
And as he stared down at Kagome, his grip slackening, as that strange unwanted feeling vibrated through him, he knew without a doubt that the simple yet sinful feeling was vibrating off of her.
And he wanted it.
His mind became clouded, his thoughts incoherent.
And his eyes were dark - lusty and almost feral.
Kagome was frightened. But her fear - it only stimulated his lust, causing him to want more - more of the power that was resting within her, more of her.
Being friends simply wasn't enough - he needed more.
His amber eyes were half lidded as Kagome stared up at him, half in wonder, half in fear. She had never seen him look so - hungry and intense.
His hands, they left her arms, her skin pink and irritated, in place of skimming along her hips, seeking the core of that power - the core of her being.
His touch was slow and decisive, leaving a lingering burning sensation as his claws slashed through her robes to trail languidly across her fine silky skin. And her face - flushed, shy, innocent - spoke in volumes to him.
The rational part of his mind was screaming, telling him to stop, that taking her innocence wasn't worth it but - that raw power that filled his body with lust was so strong -
There was no other way.
He would nurture that need – he would give into it.
And despite the fact that he was one of her only friends - he wanted to break that boundary - to become even more.
His silver hair fell in pools around her face as she stared up at him, eyes filled with confusion and anticipation. She didn't know what was happening to him - she didn't know what had wrought the change in him only that - it frightened her more than anything.
And his hands had stopped roaming as a wicked smile played on his lips. He could feel it - pulsating underneath her hot, creamy white flesh, begging to be taken from her - to be drained from her body completely but -
He simply couldn't, otherwise he would physically hurt her and he didn't want that. She was simply to small, delicate - beautiful - he amended within his fogged brain. And then, ignoring that sensuous pull, he gripped her hips tightly, his claws digging needlessly into her sides, and he tasted her.
And she was simply so sweet - so delicious - he had never experienced anything like it. As his lips roamed quietly over hers, as she shuddered underneath him from fear and pleasure, he knew that he wanted more. Simply tasting her wouldn't be enough.
Absently, he flicked his tongue over her lips, smiling, as she remained still, unresponsive. He should have expected it. She was confused, afraid, but he didn't realize that it would only drive him more. And then his lips were ghosting over her neck, his tongue flicking over her pulse and his teeth grazing over the sensitive skin.
Her breath had hitched, shuddering in a sort of terrorized pleasure, and he drank it up languidly.
Intoxicated.
He was nothing short of intoxicated by her - by the raw power that was she. And as his tongue dipped down into the hollow of her throat - as Kagome involuntarily arched into him seeking more contact - needing more contact, her hands fisted into his haori, her voice meek and quiet.
"Inuyasha, please," It was nothing more than a whisper and yet - it was enough to draw him away, to look down at her with a dazed expression as his mind cleared.
The raw vibrations stopped almost immediately.
And for a moment, dimming amber gazed relentlessly into smoky blue, a silent communication working between the two and -
He was gone.
He didn't say a word; he merely left her lying in the cold wet grass, her kimono torn and her pulse racing. At first she had been angry with him - angry for leaving her in such a vulnerable position, angry for not finishing what he had started - but as seconds became minutes, Kagome realized that it was necessary. She would need time to think, to wonder what exactly had transpired between the two and why it exactly it left her craving for more.
Silence was all that meant her unsteady thoughts.
"Damn it Inuyasha," Kagome thought tiredly, " what the hell is wrong with you."
But she didn't know.
She could assume that it was nothing short of raw passion - although she knew little about it - she did know that she had never seen Inuyasha as transparent as he had been. He had wanted her within that moment, and had been anything but subtle about it.
Licking her tingling lips absently, she smiled as she tasted him, earthy like pine, but delicious like spiced meat.
Gods, Kagome thought repositioning her kimono as to not expose her hips, what's gotten into me?
But she knew - within that moment she undoubtedly knew.
She and Inuyasha weren't just friends anymore.
Licking her lips once again as she rubbed her tingling throat, she realized that she wasn't exactly opposing the idea and -
The unwanted underlying fear that continued to swell within her only made her want it more.