One evening, I looked at the file cabinet and looked through the obituaries I wrote. There were a lot. Roy Fokker. Lani Hart. Sam Needles. Wan Chen. Frank Dunn. And then I added another obituary. Gilda Grace Kent.
Gilda Grace Kent lost her life in battle. But it was not in a battle with the fearsome Zentraedi. Instead, it was a battle with microscopic enemies. Cancer cells in her own body, consuming everything until they killed the body they were in. They were a lot like militant Islamic terrorists in that regard. The cancer was inoperable.
"She wanted to make the best out of what was remaining of her life," said her husband. "That was why she wanted to be present at the launch of the ship. When we found ourselves in space, she wanted to live long enough to reach Earth. And she did. She lived a long, full life. We have children and grandchildren. I do not regret having known her and I will never forget her and I promised her I would live the rest of my life as best I can, whether it's a day or a hundred years."
Her husband had a memorial service for her. Then the body was placed on a cargo plane and flown to one of her children for burial in Honolulu, Hawaii, not far from where the SDF-1 landed.
The day that the obituary for Gilda Grace Kent was published, the SDF-1 lifted off. For a moment I wondered if we were going into space. But instead, we were flying at about five thousand feet above the ocean. I went to the observation deck, whose food court was now open. I could see the North American coastline. We were going to fly right over a city! I wondered what sort of commotion we were causing on the ground. I also wondered if Captain Gloval would get into trouble for this.
In any case, I asked some people about this. Some were excited, hoping this means they will be able to settle somewhere, and others said that Captain Gloval was out of his fucking mind.
That evening I went to my office to type notes and work on articles. I had at least three articles on Lin Minmei and her new career in acting and singing. I had one article on a meeting of the Macross City Council.
The phone rang. "Hello," I said.
Jenna was on the phone. "I have great news," she said. "You're going home."
"What?" I asked.
"The North American Ontario Quadrant will allow the civilians to settle there. We're gonna go to Toronto. From there you can catch a flight to New York."
"Who told you that?"
"Colonel Beckett. Captain Gloval will make the announcement once we reach Toronto."
"This is great. Let's have an early celebration."
"Okay."
"At the steakhouse."
"It's a date!"
I hung up and smiled. I was going home, and Jenna seemed happy. She had not seemed happy in months.
ooooooooooo
Jenna and I went to the steakhouse. It looked like a diner. The tables and counters were made of polished stone. We sat in the leather seats. There were a few other people in the place. Then again, very few people know what Jenna and I knew.
After placing our order, the waiter gave us bread to start off.
"Aren't you excited about going back to New York?" asked Jenna.
"I'll have stories to tell," I said. "I'd better go start packing after we eat."
"This will be your last night on board. I'll probably be staying on board."
Then our food came. Two medium medium sirloin steaks. We started cutting the meat. It was just months ago that we were on a meatless diet.
"The next time you take a vacation, come visit me in New York," I said. "I can show you around. We can visit the Statue of Liberty, attend a concert at Madison Square Garden or Carnegie Hall. We can have dinner with my parents in Queens. And of course, we can take a vacation to the moon to meet your parents."
"Sounds good," said Jenna, cutting a piece of her steak. Her mood seems to be less excited.
"Anything wrong?" I asked. "you were so excited minutes ago."
"I haven't seen you in a while," said Jenna. "I was busy. I mean, before I got off I was flying escort for the ship."
"I'd better give you the number for my home and office in New York," I said.
"Don't," said Jenna.
"What?" I asked. My heart was racing in dread.
"We shouldn't be together anymore." I could see a tear flow down Jenna's right cheek.
"We can maintain contact after I go back home. I travel a lot for my job."
"What happens if I get killed out there?" she asked.
I took a deep breath. "I think of that whenever you go out there."
"It's not a game. People die. People like Lani. Do you remember when Commander Fokker died?"
"It wasn't that long ago."
"For Lieutenant Grant, it was just yesterday. She was gonna marry him, for Christ's sake! She's been on as much duty as she can take. She's still torn apart over what happened to Fokker. It's worse than what I feel about what happened to Lani."
"We can't let these things dictate our lives."
She placed her hands on top of mine. "I love you," she said. "I don't want you to get hurt, and I don't want to be the reason you get hurt. But you shouldn't love me. One day, I'm going to die just like Lani and the others did. And you're gonna be one with this pain which will only get worse and worse until there's nothing left for you to feel. It would be better if we never met. Forget about me. Don't talk to me. It's not too late."
I looked into her eyes, which was a fountain of tears. The past year and a fourth had changed her. I could see her soul was worn down by all this combat.But there must be a way to restore her. "Jenna," I said. "I want to be with you, even if I knew you would die the next..."
"ATTENTION, ALL FIGHTER PILOTS!" said a female voice. "RED ALERT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"
"That's me," said Jenna, standing up. "I'd better go out there. I'll probably be dead before sunrise."
She ran out the door. Three other people in uniform followed her; I did not get a good look at their faces. I went to the counter and I saw a giant sirloin steak, with one piece cut out.
oooooooooooooo
I reached the observation deck just in time to see the UN veritech fighters take off from Prometheus. Below was the urban landscape of Toronto. I saw the skull-and-crossbones fighter that Commander Roy Fokker flew. I wondered who was flying it now. I saw some black fighters take off. I wondered which one was Jenna.
Soon our fighters made contact with the Zentraedi fighters, and I saw fireballs. It was a typical dogfight; I never tired of seeing these. Our fighters swooped and banked and climbed and dove as they tried to destroy their Zentraedi foes and avoid their own destruction. I just hoped Jenna wasn't suicidal. She might end up endangering the lives of others.
Then I saw this greenish glow. I wondered what it was. Was it an enemy weapon or something?
Then I saw the Zentraedi cruisers, right here in the atmpshere, firing on us. The greenish glow repelled the enemy fire.
It was a shield! Those Zentraedi must be pissed. They kept on firing and firing over and over again. The enemy fire just bounced off. This could be it. This shield could be the key to victory! The efforts of those who have fallen will not be in vain.
Then something went wrong. The lights went out, and the only thingk lighting the room was the greenish glow. Then the greenish glow turned blue. Then viuolet. Then white.
It was an overload. The enemy pumped so much firepower that the shield overloaded.
I guessed all that talk from Jenna about how I would feel if she died would become a moot point in seconds.
I could only stare, waiting for my own death. I wondered if this was how Lani felt, when she realized that she was going to be blown to bits.
The light became so bright that I relflexively shut my eyes. This was it. The journey I began when I stepped on that plane in JFK will now come to an end. There would be nothing left of me here except subatomic particles. Jesus Christ was fast approaching.
I looked around. I coukld see tables, a McDonald's, a New york Style pizza place, a Taco Bell.
I was still alive. I felt relief.
Then I looked outside and the relief went away. There was only desolation and ruin. The overload destroyed Toronto. There was nothing left. It was as if Toronto was never there.
Did Jenna make it back safely? I saw the veritech fighters come back to SDF-1. I decided to leave the observation deck.
ooooooooooo
I saw a bunch of TV camera crews at the hospital, so I decided to check it out.
"What's going on here?" I asked.
"Minmei's in the hospital," said a TV cameraman.
I stood by. I recorded the tragic battle of Toronto, and now I want to report the latest news on Minmei.
Lin Kyle came to address us. We all asked him about Minmei.
"I don't understand how, with all that's been going on, you people can be chasing after a star who passed out from a little overwork!" he scolded us. "Now forget that and let's find a way to make these military leaders to stop this war. This fighting is totally non-productive… There are no winners, only losers. We must get out of this destructive, inhumane, no-win situation at once."
His words struck me hard. I just saw the destruction of Toronto, the deaths of millions. And then there was Jenna. She shut herself off from me because of the war. Who fired the first shot in the war anyway. I remember hearing anti-UN sentiment, about how it was just a warmongering machine that propped up brutal dictators around the world just to collect tribute.
I walked up to him. "A word please?" I asked.
oooooooooooo
TORONTO DESTROYED IN ALIEN ATTACK! MILLIONS DEAD!
I worte the front page article for the Macross Gazette. We can see TV news broadcasts from the area. Pundits on Earth were blaming Captain Gloval and the SDF-1 for blowing up Toronto. Some even said SDF-1 should be turned over to the Zentraedi. After all, the Zentraedi have only been attacking the ship, while there are still terrorist factions waging war on the UN.
I also wrote an article of Kyle's statements on the war. He called the United Nations a country club for tyrants, gangsters, and thugs. He said the Zentraedi can't be as bad as some of the members of the UN. As far as he knew, the Zentraedi did not have slavery, unlike the Sudan.
Jenna did not call me. I called Knight Squadron and Lieutenant Wolfe told me Jenna made it back along with everyone else from Knight Squadron.
I later met with Katie at the Bright Star Casino.
"Jenna and I broke up last night," I said.
"I'm sorry," replied the veritech pilot.
"She seems to be thinking that she's gonna die tomorrow."
"I noticed she's been withdrawn. She keeps to herself now."
"I think I know why. It's what she told me last night. She figures that if no one cared about her, no one would cry if she dies. That was why she broke up with me, and that's why she's keeping to herself."
"So she's wrapping herself in a cocoon and never coming out?"
"It looks like it. It's such a shame. In a way, part of her, the part I fell in love with, is dead."
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Well, since my return to Earth I lost two close friends, friends I had since flight training," she said. "At least I have others to talk to. Vince, Ichijo, Wolfe, Dow, Lambert. Even Major Hayase can be tolerated."
"Do you think that one day she might do something like crash her veritech into a mountain or a Zentraedi cruiser?"
"No," said Katie. "She still performs well. She saved me last night. There was this fighter on my tail and I couldn't shake him. Jenna dove in and blew up the fighter before it could blow me up. We later managed to escape when we flew away from the barrier overload. If Jenna wanted to kill herself, she would have flown into the barrier."
"She killed a part of herself. A part that makes our lives worth living."
oooooooooooo
The next day, Lieutenant Rick Hunter, commander of the Skull squadron, informed me that Ben Dixon was killed in the Battle of Toronto. He came to my office to deliver a copy of Ben's files so I can write the obituary. He also told me where to find Ben's parents.
"I read your interview with Kyle," said the lieutenant.
"He had a press conference and he wanted to speak about the war," I said.
"What does he know? He never fought a war."
"Okay, Lieutenant," I said. "Tell me your opinion."
"I'm a Spacy officer, my opinions are property of the UN Spacy."
"I'll make sure to honor and respect him in my obituary," I said.
ooooooooooo
The next few days, supplies were flown in to the SDF-1 as it floated in the Pacific Ocean some fifty miles west of Vancouver. From what I heard from people, we were about to leave for space. None of us will be allowed to leave the ship. I spoke with Macross Gazette publisher Jake Austin and he told me his wife's pregnancy was coming along fine. From the looks of things his new baby may be born in space like Glenn La Belle was.
I watched as supply trucks moved in. In the meantime, I covered Minmei's career, getting information on her projects from her cousin Kyle. The production of Small White Dragon was going well, from what I saw during filming. I could not tell what the plot was though. I haven't spoken to Jenna since the Battle of Toronto. From what I heard, she devoted her entire time to drilling, even practicing in the simulators on her own time.
I stood outside the SDF-1 on one afternoon, breathing in the fresh air. Captain Gloval would deliver a press conference. I made sure to wear my suit, the same one I wore when I first went into space.
We all gathered at the press briefing room. Sapcy security policemen stood watch. The camera crews stood by.
Captain Henry J. Gloval entered the stage. He stasrts to speak. But he couldn't.
then Lin Minmei of all people appear. She gave a message which I would not forget.
"I don't understand anything that has to do with politics, but I do know that the only way we'll survive this is to pull together," said Minmei. "I think of the SDF-1 as my home now. We've all been through quite a bit, but look at how strong we've become because of it. I have more friends here than I ever did on Earth. You've been like a big family to me. Someday we'll return to Earth – we'll never give up hope. But for now, I'm proud to be a citizen of Macross City and this ship."
I was inspired. I hoped Jenna heard it; maybe she would change her attitude.
Then the announcement came. We would be taking off.
I sat down and I felt myself heavier. I knew the SDF-1 was flying up and up.
I won't give up hope.
I won't give up hope of getting back to Earth.
I won't give up hope of getting through to Jenna.