A/N: Okay, I know people are upset about the whole waiting two months before updating but hold onto your pitchforks because I have a small bomb to drop: this isn't the last chapter!
::cringes and dodges::
I'm sorry but usually, chapters are 20 or 25 pages but the last chapter finished up at 57 pages!!!! Can you believe that??? So, it was too long and had to be cut. Everyone would have gotten computer eye burn otherwise! This one is 28 pages, still pretty long.
IMPORTANT!!! READ BELOW!!!
Firstly, while I had a few valid excuses for not updating, none is quite as powerful as the fact that I had a cancer scare. I was giving myself a breast exam and found a lump, two of them to be exact. Thus, December was not only finals time but also scary on a whole different level because I wasn't sure I was okay. I had to go into surgery and everything and made a complete ass out of myself over the IV needle (cancer I could handle but a pinprick caused me to have a panic attack in the OR…not one of my shining moments) Thank god, everything is okay now and I am fine. BUT, the reason I am telling this is not because I love to share these sort of details. I do not. However, I am suggesting that every female who reads this should go to bed tonight and perform a cursory breast exam on themselves. It's not dirty, it's being careful and, let me assure you, it's better to feel yourself up then to find out later that there is something you could have done to save yourself. Tell all the other women you know too. Here's a website, it's pretty good. Remember to take out the spaces.
http:www. breastcancer. org/diadetecexamidx. html
Secondly, the formatting in this chapter is a bit different. The switch between POV's will be demarcated by a ------------- line. You'll see once you get to it, I just don't want anyone overly confused. So, once you see a ------------ line, the POV has switched.
Ready to enjoy some sexy naked hanyou?
Read and enjoy!
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CHAPTER TWELVE: Peeping is good for the soul…
Inuyasha waved from the walkway of the shrine steps as a black SUV carrying the oddest bunch of characters he had ever met drove away. He knew Carson was at the wheel because the car was swerving across the road as the blonde showed the others what he bought. Inuyasha smirked when he heard Jai scream in panic. The truck went out of sight and Inuyasha shook his head, wondering just what the hell had really happened the past couple of days.
Freaks, he thought semi-affectionately and took one leap to the top of the shrine steps. Time to get ready for Kagome. And if I screw up, at least they'll never know. .
------------In the SUV-------------
"Does he know that we're watching him?" Kyan asked.
Thom smiled innocently. "No, he'd get nervous and I didn't think the added stress would be good for him...."
Ted snorted. "That and the fact that this way he'd take a shower without covering up."
Carson looked impressed. "Good thinking!"
Thom smiled and graciously nodded his head.
"The camera's are everywhere, right?"
"Yeah. In the kitchen, the bathroom, living room, courtyard and the well house."
"Nicely done."
"I know," Thom said smugly.
"Now, we'll have something to watch when we get home," Carson said, cringing as he thought about the long plane ride ahead of them.
"Crap!" Jai hung up his cell phone and frowned. "Bad news. Our plane got delayed and it was the last plane out for the day."
"Are you kidding?!?"
"We're stuck here until tomorrow??"
"Damn it! I had an appointment!"
Jai shrugged helplessly. "Sorry guys."
"Well, at least we'll be able to watch Sexy Ass at our hotel room," said Carson comfortingly.
"Inuyasha should console us and do a little strip tease," Kyan said with a wistful sigh.
"Yeah....," Thom said with an excited look in his eyes. "First his shirt!"
"No no no! First his pants!" Carson interrupted.
"Carson. Strip teases are supposed to go slowly, not straight for the goods!" Thom said knowingly.
Thus the Queer Eye Boys spent the entire way back to the hotel arguing on proper strip etiquette and what Inuyasha would do if he were stripping. (Jai suggested he would kill everyone in the club and the others agreed that was the most plausible scenario.)
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Inuyasha clapped his hands and set his shoulders. First things first. Before anything, he had to get back his clothing. Humming, Inuyasha strolled into his new house. Stopping for a moment to lovingly pet his stereo system, he meandered over to the well itself and, still humming, leapt in.
-----------------Hotel---------------
"OH MY GOD!!! He killed himself!!" Jai shrieked, jumping up on the couch.
"He committed suicide?" Ted asked in disbelieving horror.
"He must have really hated that moisturizer…." Kyan mumbled in shock.
"He must think I took the leather pants back with me!" shouted Carson. Usefully leaping off the hotel couch, Carson began to yell at the tv screen. "No Inuyasha! They're on the bed! Don't do it! It's not worth it! Almost but not quite!"
"Carson!" Jai shouted, a vein visibly throbbing in his neck. "No one would kill themselves over leather pants!!"
"Um, I beg to differ because-" Carson started. Jai grabbed the front of Carson's and shook him back and forth.
"Concentrate on what I'm telling you! We killed someone!!" Jai broke down in tears. "We're going to go to jail and become bitches to fat white men named Bubba!" he wailed.
"Um, Jai?" Thom said, pointing to the television screen.
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Inuyasha dusted off his robes and slung them over one shoulder. Still whistling, he jumped out of the well, unaware of the renewed havoc he caused.
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"That bastard!" screamed Jai, enraged to the point of pain, pointing a finger at the television screen. "I'll kill him for this! I just scared off three years of my life!"
"How the hell did he survive that?" Ted asked, perplexed. "That well is about ten feet deep."
"Because he heard me tell him that the pants were on the bed," Carson said. "I saved him."
Thom managed to get between Jai and Carson before the tiny Puerto Rican killed the blonde fashionista.
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"What was I suppose to do first?" Inuyasha mused out loud. "Was it shower? Cook? Maybe it was get dressed? No, can't do that. I won't be able to shower then."
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"Oh, he had better shower! God help him after all that he doesn't flash some P and A for my viewing pleasure. I'll go back to the shrine and rip out every pretty hair in his head," Jai muttered, slightly calmer now that he had a whiskey sour in his hand and stomach.
"Jai, I think you picked up a few of his traits. All the really violent ones," Thom commented with a cocked eyebrow.
"Sort of sexy…" Carson said, sounding intrigued.
"Back off!" snapped Jai. "I'm still pissed at you!"
Ted refilled Jai's glass and poured the sulking Carson a martini.
"Hey Ted!" called Kyan. "You're up! He decided to cook!"
"Did he find my present yet?"
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Inuyasha stared at the frilly white apron. In big red letters in name tag format were the words: "Hi! My Name is: Sexy Ass!!"
"Not funny," Inuyasha growled.
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Ted laughed merrily from the couch. "I think it's bloody hysterical!!"
Jai cracked a grin. "He does look annoyed, doesn't he?"
Thom patted Jai'd hand. "Feel better now?"
Jai flashed an evil grin as Inuyasha struggled with tying a bow with the apron strings. "Yeah, I'm getting there."
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"He said something about the stove," Inuyasha mumbled as he peered into the oven. "Which part is the stove, the drawer or the flame throwers on top?"
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"Flame throwers?" Carson asked blankly.
"Drawer?" Kyan repeated dully.
Ted's eyes grew wide with realization. "I don't believe this!!!" moaned Ted at the top of his lungs. "It's an oven, for gods sake!!"
"You actually thought he'd figure something like that out? It's way too complicated," snorted Thom.
Ted dropped his head into his hands. "Why does god test me like this?"
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Inuyasha snapped his fingers. "It's the top!" Carefully turning on the stove, Inuyasha threw a pan on top of the flame and, reaching into the freezer, pulled out the vegetables Ted had cooked, and threw them onto the pan.
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"Oh my god! That's not how you defrost vegetables!!" Ted wailed.
"I really don't think he cares," Jai commented as the five gay men watched Inuyasha toss all the ingredients into the pan at once. Ted howled in impotent fury as his carefully selected recipe was ruined.
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Inuyasha stirred the bubbling concoction with a spoon and grimaced. "This doesn't look like what Ted made…" he grumbled. Taking a whiff, he wrinkled his nose. "Doesn't smell like it either."
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"No shit Sherlock Holmes!!" Ted yelled, throwing a pillow at the screen.
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Inuyasha shrugged. Nothing I can do, he thought philosophically. "Guess you need to be a girly man to cook."
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"Why that bastard!!!" gasped Ted in fury.
"Did he just call Ted a girly man??" Kyan asked with raised eyebrows.
"Kiss my ass, you chauvinistic homophobic arrogant Neanderthal!" snapped Ted, glaring at the screen.
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"I'm too manly to cook," continued Inuyasha to himself
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"Oh you wish!" shouted Ted. "He'd totally compensating for something," the cook groused to his sympathetic audience.
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Glancing at the wall clock, Inuyasha jerked in surprise. "I'm gonna have to go pick up Kagome soon." Quickly he turned and jogged back to the wellhouse.
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"Um…did he just forget to take the food off the stove?" Jai questioned nervously.
"More importantly, did he not turn off the fire?!?" Thom asked in horror.
Five gay men watched the flames dancing under the pan get larger and larger.
"Oh shit!!" came the chorus.
"What do we do??" panicked Kyan. "This is terrible!"
"We're going to get sued!" whispered Jai.
"Call the fire department!" called Carson.
"Fireman….," Thom said with a dreamy look on his face. "I'd like one of these strong Tokyo firemen to put out my fire!"
"Now is not the time to check out fireman booty!" snapped Kyan.
Carson shot an exasperated look at Kyan. "First of all, it is always time to check out firemen. Secondly, I was suggesting we call them to shut off the stove." Carson sniffed imperiously. "You have so little faith in me," the blonde complained. Humphing to himself, Carson deliberately turned away from Kyan.
"Oh, come on! Don't sulk!" exploded Kyan. Carson crossed his arms and sat down lady-like on the couch and proceeded to give Kyan the Silent Treatment.
"Carson, don't start!" Jai said in annoyance.
"Wait! Inuyasha came back to the kitchen!!" Thom called excitedly and motioned the others over to the television.
The five Americans watched anxiously as Inuyasha puttered around the kitchen.
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Inuyasha has been half way to the well house when he had realized what he had left undone.
Moving quickly, he plucked the pan off the stove top. "There. Now it won't burn," he said in satisfaction.
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"IDIOT!! Shut the stove off!!!" five throats screamed in unison.
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Inuyasha glanced down at the flame. Cocking his head slowly to one side, he examined the phenomena of the little blue flame. Peering closely, he tried and tried but just couldn't find the wood. Inuyasha glared at the flame. I have no idea what to do with this weird… campfire, he though in disgruntlement and heaved a sigh. The flame sputtered in its burner and Inuyasha's ears slowly perked up. "Ah, so that's how you do it!" he said happily with a snap of his fingers. Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha blew on the flame with all his might. Not out yet, huh? Inuyasha breathed out again. The flame wouldn't give up but it was soon apparent, as Inuyasha kept blowing, that the stubborn hanyou wasn't giving up either.
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Five pairs of dumbfounded eyes blinked at the tv screen.
"Is he trying to…blow out an electrical fire?" Carson asked in confusion.
"Ted, please tell me you told him how to shut off the flame," Kyan sighed, rubbing his temples.
"I turned it on. I thought he'd get that you shut it off the same way," Ted explained helplessly.
Jai watched as Inuyasha turned a slight shade of red as the young boy huffed and puffed uselessly and dropped his head into his hands. "He is an idiot," Jai moaned.
Thom laughed with abandon at Inuyasha's expense as one particularly intense exhale left Inuyasha gasping for breath.
Ted threw a nearby pillow at the laughing decorator. "It's not funny! The boy's so dense, it's disturbing!"
"Wait a minute, where's he going? Why does he have the bathrobe??" Kyan asked in mounting panic. "And what the hell is that dirt for?!?!"
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Inuyasha stormed outside, furious that some puny fire was defeating him. I'll show that stupid stove thing! he growled mentally. Going to the nearest plot of earth, Inuyasha unslung his kimono top and began to dig. He dumped a pile of dirt onto the make shift cloth bucket of his kimono and, quickly securing the corners, Inuyasha lifted the bundle and prepared to do battle once more. And this time, I'll win!
Completely unaware of the horror he was causing in a hotel not so far away, Inuyasha went back into the house and dumped the dirt all over Mrs. Higurashi's clean kitchen.
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"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
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Inuyasha arranged the dirt in a neat pile. Moving some to the left and some to the right of the top, he stood back. Cocking his head to one side, he examined his work thoughtfully, as Da Vinci might have regarded the Mona Lisa or the Last Supper.
"Perfect, " he murmured.
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"Oh, please tell me he just smoked something! Please do not tell me he's happy about dumping dirt all over that nice woman's floor!!" begged Thom in misery.
"It's like he thinks it's art or something…" Kyan said in confusion.
" 'Perfect' he says…what do you want to bet that he's not going to clean that up?" Ted asked rhetorically.
"Um, guys? What the hell is he doing??"
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Inuyasha squatted on the balls of his feet and rested most of his body weight on his palms that he placed flat on the ground in front of him. (A/N: like how he did in that great episode after big fight number one with Kagome about Kouga and he's sulking by the well? Love that episode!!) With a determined look on his face, Inuyasha picked up his left leg and began to shovel dirt in a high arc onto Mrs. Higurashi's clean stove. Faster and faster his leg flew until the entire stove top was covered in the remains of what was a flower garden.
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"Oh. My. God," breathed Jai in horror, covering his eyes partially with one hand.
"This is not good, this is so not good…" mumbled Ted.
Kyan and Carson were about to agree when they were distracted by Thom's laughter.
Hooting in sheer enjoyment, Thom laughed and laughed until tears leaked out of his eyes. "He looks exactly like an irate dog, burying a bone!!! What the hell is he doing?! He looks so completely stupid!!" the designer snorted helplessly.
"He has ruined that nice lady's kitchen Thom!!" snapped Jai. "He dumped half a ton of dirt on her pristine floor!!" Jai exclaimed with an melodramatic fling of his hands for emphasis.
Thom merely pointed to the screen where Inuyasha was still shoveling dirt and couldn't contain his amusement. Jai hit him none too gently and decided that at this point the only option left was to pray. Hard.
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Inuyasha grinned at the defeated stove. Hah! Stupid bastard monster metal thingi! Mess with me and I will take you down! The hanyou thought, shooting the stove a superior look. "I. Win." He enunciated triumphantly.
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"Good sweet god……." groaned Kyan in disgust.
"When you think about it, this really is his greatest accomplishment to date," Carson commented, waving his martini for emphasis.
"Why does that not comfort me?" Ted, still not over the sight of the filthy kitchen.
"Because you're normal," replied a calm Thom.
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Inuyasha walked over to the stove and smirked once more. Reaching for the pan of food, he examined the dish. There was dirt on it but only just a bit. Brushing it away with a grimy hand, Inuyasha settled the pan on the table.
"Was there anything else to do for dinner?" He mused out loud, tapping one finger against his nose. Nothing came to mind so, shrugging, the hanyou went to shower.
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"Okay, someone lie to me and tell me he did not just wipe the food with the hand covered in dirt!" said Kyan, his nose scrunched in disgust.
"To hell with wiping the food! There's dirt in the pan but he's still planning on serving it!!" Ted yelled back.
"Is he not setting the table?" asked Carson in understandable confusion.
"I don't think setting the table even crossed his mind," Jai pronounced knowingly, sipping his second whiskey sour for comfort.
"ARGH!!!!!!" screamed Ted, his careful instructions and vision destroyed by a careless idiot. "Why does nothing go right?!" he begged the universe.
"Uh, something's going damn well right here," Thom said in delighted shock. "I do believe our sexy project has decided to take a shower!!!"
Four pairs of eyes widened in delight and the kitchen fiasco was forgotten in a flash.
"Do you think he knows about the bathroom camera?" asked Kyan in a whisper.
"As he's stripping and getting into the shower without closing the shade, I'm thinking not," Thom answered with a perverted grin.
The other men rushed for optimal viewing while Carson calmly pressed the 'record' button.
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"Maybe I should use the bathing room?" Inuyasha wondered aloud but quickly decided against it. He didn't have the time to use the room right. Opening up the bathroom door, Inuyasha felt a twinge in his shoulder. Grimacing, he stretched his muscles slowly. Kami, my muscles are sore! Musta been battling all these weird demons. Let's see… there was that salon chair… those car things… Jack….
Musing over all the dangers he had faced over the past week, Inuyasha absentmindedly peeled off his outer hakama and undershirt.
Pausing, he looked at himself in the mirror and frowned at his short hair.
"Damn idiot Kyan. I have the hair of a four year old," he grumbled. Pushing the curling silver locks away from his eyes, he heaved a sigh. "It'll grow back in a couple of days," he comforted himself.
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"Excuse me, what did he just say?!?!" Kyan shouted, absolutely horrified by the very thought of Inuyasha's too long hairstyle coming back.
"Shut up," admonished Thom in distraction. "You're talking and I can't devote my full attention to that chest."
"And what a chest it is!" smiled Ted.
"Mmmm-mmmm!" agreed Carson happily.
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Inuyasha glared trying to remember how one worked the shower thing. Kagome showed me once, when Mrs. Higurashi got mad that I got dirty footprints all over Kagome's carpet….What did she do? Inuyasha experimentally yanked on one knob. Water came shooting out above his head and Inuyasha squawked in surprise.
"Thank Kami no one heard that…." he mumbled, blushing over the undignified noise.
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All five gay men snickered.
"He's so cute when he blushes!" giggled Jai.
"He sounded like a cat," snorted Kyan.
"A sexy cat!" sighed Carson.
"Hey, I've been thinking…well, you know how Ted mentioned compensation before? Do you think this overabundance of macho man attitude are because of a –how shall I say this?- small problem?" Thom asked, as usual the cynical one of the group.
Four horrified gasps met his question.
"NO!!!" Jai protested.
"I hope not! What a let down that would be," Carson said.
"Well, you know a lot of men do that…" Thom said honestly.
"Um, guys?" Ted began.
"Too true! I had a one night stand like that once," Kyan muttered with a shudder. "Nightmare is all I'm gonna say." He took a restorative slug of his whiskey.
"Guys!" Ted said urgently.
"Poor baby!" soothed Carson, ignoring Ted. "That's always the worst!"
Jai nodded sympathetically and patted Kyan's shoulder.
"Guys!!" shouted Ted. "His hands are on his pants!!!!!"
The other four men stopped short and immediately turned their attention to the television screen.
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Inuyasha adjusted the temperature, terribly proud that he had remembered how to do it.
Sticking his hand into the water and pleased with the result, Inuyasha drew off his pants, threw them into a corner and stepped under the showerhead.
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There was not a sound in room # 314 in the Hilton Tokyo as Jai, Carson, Ted, Thom and Kyan watched Inuyasha strip and luxuriate under the stream of pulsating water.
After a few moments of breathless peeping, Jai cleared his throat. "So about that compensation issue…? Not really applicable here…"
"Amen and praise god, no!" Thom smiled in appreciation.
"Oh, he's reaching for the soap!" whispered Kyan in excitement.
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Completely unaware of his salivating audience, Inuyasha grabbed whatever soap was nearby and scrubbed his body.
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The Queer Eye boys watched in delight as Inuyasha's hands smoothed the soap bar over every inch of flesh, leaving suds and bubbles in its wake. His skin shined as the bubbles and water slid over his defined pectorals, the delineated six pack and the tight muscles that were evident with every motion of his body.
"Okay, this decides it. When I die, I want to be reincarnated as soap," stated Carson as he devoured the image on the tv screen.
"His soap," clarified Thom with a shaky laugh.
"It's a lovely image," Ted agreed conversationally. "Really nice."
Inuyasha scrubbed his body with his hands, humming.
"Really really nice…" Ted grinned.
"This is so good, its almost pornographic," Kyan said, happily admiring Inuyasha's sculpted body.
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Inuyasha rinsed off the soap and leaned down to get the shampoo bottles Kyan had given him. He tried to pull open the bottle but it wouldn't budge. Grunting with effort, Inuyasha pulled off the top half of the shampoo, splattering shampoo all over the shower.
"Ugh! This sucks!" Inuyasha exclaimed, spitting out the shampoo that had gotten into his mouth. "Kagome better appreciate all this," the hanyou grumbled, dumping what was left in the bottle onto his palm. The goop filled his entire hand and fell over the sides, landing onto the shower floor in a pile. Sighing, Inuyasha dumped the entire mass onto his head.
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"Please tell me he did not just blow 35 dollars worth of shampoo on one shower," Kyan asked, stunned.
"No can do," Thom replied, still enjoying the view of his torso and lower areas as Inuyasha's arms lifted and scrubbed at his scalp. "Busy watching."
"To hell with that! 35 dollars!!!" Kyan shouted, irate.
"Oh, shut up. Think of it as out viewing fee," Ted said, dismissing the whole issue.
Kyan mentally weighed the extraordinary waste of the salon shampoo versus the sight of Inuyasha's toned, tanned and lithe body. "Good point," he said with a nod.
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Inuyasha threw his head back and rinsed out the shampoo. He looked at the other bottle.
"Fuck no," he muttered and tossed the bottle onto the counter. He was not repeating that soap in the mouth thing! Besides, there's no difference between the two! Inuyasha thought belligerently.
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"Is he not using the conditioner!?!?" Kyan shouted in horror.
"I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve this," Thom said, shaking his head.
"Well, isn't that lovely?!?!?" hissed Kyan in annoyance. "None of you know how cracked and abused that poor hair is!" He threw his head back to lean against the couch top. "This is a outrage! An abomination! A crime! An atrocity! A-"
"He's getting out," interrupted Ted calmly.
"What? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Kyan asked as he jerked his head down.
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Inuyasha contemplated putting back on the clothing he had but it was all dirty and just sort of defeated the purpose of showering. No one's here, he thought logically. It's in the middle of the afternoon, everyone else is at school or work. Decided, Inuyasha jogged to the well house.
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"Ooooooooooooohhhh!!!!!!" came the ecstatic gasp from the five gays.
"Whoa! Someone was a closet nudist!" whistled Thom as Inuyasha sauntered out of the bathroom, totally naked.
"He really is a sexy ass. Nice and tight!" Kyan said, impressed.
"Do you think he knows how much his thing is jiggling?" Jai asked, tilting his head for better viewing.
"Who cares!??!?!" shouted Carson ecstatically. "This is definitely the greatest project we have ever had!!"
"Greatest result," corrected Thom.
"He loves being naked and I love him for it!" Ted chortled happily.
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Inuyasha paused in the middle of the courtyard and tilted his face up to the sun. It had been a long time since he had felt the sun so fully. When he was still on his own, he used to walk around naked while waiting for his haori, kimono and undershirt to dry. Until he has started traveling with girls, he had never thought twice about walking around undressed. "It's nice to not have to worry about having any of the girls see," he said happily as he continued onto the well house.
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"He's worried about girls looking," murmured Thom with a leer. "Poor innocent…"
"So do you guys think he does this a lot?" Ted said as he struggled for breath. "I love good looking nudists!"
"And Inuyasha qualifies in spades!" applauded Kyan.
"God, what a body!" groaned Thom as Inuyasha jumped down the steps into his new home.
"If I had known he looked like that under his clothes, I would have tried harder to turn him," Carson said with a sigh. "Lost opportunities…."
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Leaping up the stairs to his bedroom, Inuyasha rushed to get to Kagome's school in time for the closing bell. Reaching into the trunk closet, Inuyasha plucked out a pair of tight boxers. Slipping them on, he turned to see what outfit Carson had picked out for him.
"Why am I not surprised?" he mumbled in annoyance, eyes narrowed.
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Kyan shot Carson a look. "You didn't actually think he'd wear that, did you?"
"He's dressed," whined Jai unhappily. "Good bye sexy nakedness."
"Parting is such sweet sorrow," Ted exhaled noisily.
"Is that a pink shirt?" asked Thom, giving Carson an exasperated look. "He won't wear it."
Carson huffed. "It's a Calvin Klein Couture rose colored button up oxford dress shirt! Anyone with fashion sense would wear it!"
"Inuyasha has fashion sense?" Kyan said straight-faced. "Since when?"
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Inuyasha picked up the $340 piece of cotton and strolled back to the Higurashi home.
"Oh Buuuyooouuu!!" he called. "I have a present for you! Come and get it!" Inuyasha cajoled, waving the pink fabric around in the air.
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"IS HE OUT OF HIS MIND?!?!??!?!" screamed Carson in horror as Buyou approached the hanyou warily.
"Told you so," sing songed Thom.
"GOD DAMN CAT!! GET OFF THE COUTURE!!!!!" howled Carson as Buyou delighted in his new 'toy'.
With the first ominous ripping sound, Carson flopped onto the couch and began to hyperventilate. "I….can't….breathe….!" the blonde choked out.
"Quick! Vodka! Orange juice! Stat!!" shouted Jai, scrambling to get a cup.
Ted mixed the drink and all the boys watched anxiously as Carson drank the screwdriver hastily. After a moment or two, Carson inhaled and exhaled slowly.
"I'm better," he said quietly. "I'm okay now."
The other Queer Eye guys dropped onto the various couches and armchairs around the room.
"We better be getting hazard pay for this job," Thom grumbled.
Kyan nodded agreement. "That boy has driven us all to drink. Literally."
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Inuyasha left Buyou happily chewing on the shirt. Smirking, knowing instinctively how upset Carson would be if he knew how his present had gone to waste, Inuyasha felt much happier then he had in days.
Once back in his wellhouse, Inuyasha was once again faced with the issue of what to wear. He glanced at his bed and stopped short and growled when he saw the brown leather pants on the hammock. As he picked them up to shred them, a picture fell to the floor. It was that Orlando Bloom guy, the one from Kagome's notebook, dressed in almost identical leather pants. Inuyasha looked from the picture to the pants, reluctantly acknowledging the fact that Kagome did seem to like leather pants….
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"Does he seem like he's about to wear the leather or is it my imagination?" Carson asked cautiously.
"No, no…I see it too," Jai said, just as disbelieving.
To the group's collective astonishment (and delight), Inuyasha went down the stairs, sat down on the couch slowly and gingerly put one foot into the pants.
"Shut. Up!!" gasped Kyan, jumping off the armchair in shock. "He's putting them on!!"
"I, I just do not believe this," Ted said slowly, just as bemused.
"God loves me. I just knew it!!" whispered Thom in ecstasy.
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"Urgh!" Inuyasha grunted, his face getting red with effort. He yanked on the top of the leather pants and pulled and tugged but nothing was convincing those pants to move up his legs. Exhausted and defeated, he stared at the pants in just his tiny boxers, wondering what the hell was going on that he couldn't get a stupid pair of pants on!
I ain't losing to some dead cow! He thought in furious determination and once again tried to shove his legs into the too small pants.
"Urrrrgghh!" he screamed, falling backward onto the couch, shimming his pelvis and pumping his hips, attempting to force the pants onto his body. He continued to thump the cushion, harder and harder, yet the stupid pants refused to move past his knees.
"God damn it all!!!"
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Inuyasha's body thrust wildly into the air, his hands yanking at the leather. The fab five looked on in astonishment as Inuyasha wrestled with the pants, performing an entirely unintentional erotic dance on his living room couch.
As Inuyasha's hips slowly stopped pumping the air, Carson let out a shaky breath. "Well…that was…not the way a person usually puts on pants."
"I am not complaining," Kyan said vehemently, still envisioning Inuyasha's pelvis working madly.
"Once again, I say how glad I am Thom thought of installing video cameras," Jai said with a naughty grin.
"Three cheers for Thom!!" applauded Ted.
"I know, I know, I'm wonderful!" Thom grinned, terribly pleased with himself.
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Inuyasha stalked outside, dragging the leather pants behind him. Growling under his breath, he went into the courtyard of the shrine. Tossing the pants up into the air, he drew Tetsuiga in one smooth motion.
"KAZE NO KIZU!!" he shouted, swinging his sword in malicious fury. The claws of lightening appeared and rent the air, racing toward the helpless pants. Easily shredded into tiny pieces, the leather fell to the stone floor as little more then rags.
"Keh," Inuyasha said, arrogantly pleased that he had defeated yet another cursed object from Kagome's time. "You think you were any match for me?!? Ha!!" Inuyasha shouted, gloating over yet another enemy's demise.
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"Okay, why is he talking to pants?" Thom asked, disturbed.
"Hello?!? Did no one else noticed the fact the dinky little sword of his just transformed into a huge hulk of metal about three feet long and two feet wide?!?!??! It sprouts lightening, people!! LIGHTENING!!!!" shrieked Jai.
"Wow, was that a metaphor or what?!?" joked Ted quietly to Kyan, nudging the other man.
"My pants!!!" wailed Carson, clutching his chest. "You bastard! Why?!?!?!" he cried to the cocky silver haired boy on the television. Inconsolable, he collapsed against Kyan's shoulder. The hairdresser rolled his eyes but patted his friend's shoulder anyways.
"Lightening! Out of the sword! Like, like…" Jai searched for a good analogy.
"Oooh! I know!" Carson said, popping up. "Like how a guy can really get into the moment and he by mistake shoots hi loa-"
"NOT NOW CARSON!!!" Jai roared. "NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!!!!"
"Jai," Carson said seriously, " it is always time to talk about masturbation."
The Puerto Rican's nostrils flared and he attempted meditation breathing while Kyan wisely put his hand over Carson's mouth.
"Can we go back to my question? Why does he talk to inanimate objects?" Thom asked again, still perturbed by this apparent lack of mental stability.
"He talks to them because he's actually smarter then they are," Ted snipped, still a little peeved at Inuyasha for the hanyou's comment about his masculinity.
"That was not nice," Jai reprimanded primly.
"That was the point."
"Not to be petty here or anything but did anyone else notice the glorious way his abdominal muscles contract when he jumped up, yelling that weird phrase?" Kyan asked with a smile of pure lust.
"Oh, who wouldn't??"
"He's just yummy to look at!"
"Mmm-hmmm. That boy smothered in whip cream would be a real example of Japanese cuisine!"
The moment of admiration for Inuyasha's body passed and Jai sighed.
"So we just disregard what we don't get and go with the flow?"
"Pretty much," Kyan said with a sigh.
They settled back into their seats, ignoring questions they couldn't answer and prepared to watch Inuyasha go to Kagome.
---------------------------------
Inuyasha walked back into the wellhouse yet again and quickly put on an outfit. Donning a tight hunter green t-shirt, dark denim pants and the black cashmere hat, he shoved his feet into sneakers, threw on the black fitted pea coat and rushed out the door. He tried to spring into the air but couldn't get his usual height.
"Damn pants are too tight," he mumbled.
---------------------------------
"Oh, on you baby, the pants are never too tight," Carson cooed to the screen.
"Amen!" agreed Kyan.
"Smart of you to hire that crew to follow him," commented Jai to Thom.
"I am nothing if not thorough," Thom said, waving his drink in the air.
---------------------------------
Inuyasha sighed apprehensively. The last time he had been at Kagome's school, he had made a bit of an…impression. Wincing at the memory, Inuyasha let out a petulant "keh!" and walked through the gates.
All around him, students were milling, talking and chatting, relieving the stress school had built in them by socializing with their peers. A scent trickled into his nose and, under his cap, his ears twitched in recognition. Kagome! Inuyasha thought in nervous excitement, not having seen the girl in a few days. He took a breath for courage- what if she doesn't like the hair?- Inuyasha began to force his way among the crowd.
"Hey now…who is that?" one girl murmured to her friends, watching a very sexy and mature (looking) Inuyasha maneuver through the horde of students. All the girls strained their necks and admitted that none had any idea.
"He doesn't go to school here," one commented.
"Damn shame…" giggled another.
This group was not alone in their perusal of the strange boy in their midst. As Inuyasha unerringly steered toward Kagome, more and more heads turned in his direction. Everyone was talking about the good looking foreigner in the school yard but there was only one person brave enough to do something about it.
She was a clique leader, one of the "important" people in the high school hierarchy. Pretty, put together and popular, the girl was sweet, attractive and well to do. She had worth and knew it. That knowledge was inbred and apparent as she sauntered over to stand in Inuyasha's way. When Inuyasha was forced to stop or run into her, she flashed him a very warm smile.
---------------------------------
"Oh man! Hoochie alert!!" called out Jai.
"She is one of those "I-Am-Miss-Thang" types. You can so tell!" commented Kyan with a grimace on his face. "I hate those!"
"Love her shoes and that bag is definitely a Mori Hanae original!" Carson said with envy, focusing on only the important things.
"No!" gasped Jai, impressed despite himself.
"Reeaaallly?" drawled Thom, well aware of just how much a Hanae cost.
"Oh! Oh! Miss Thang is moving in for the kill!" Ted called out.
---------------------------------
Inuyasha stopped, barely containing his annoyance. Stupid bitch, he thought in annoyance. Get the hell out of my way!
"Hey. You're not from around here, are you?" The girl smiled wider and coyly twirled a piece of hair around one finger.
"No shit," Inuyasha snorted.
The girl smiled widened. Only the Bad Boys cursed and from the scowl on his pretty face to the ways his fists were clenched, this was an impatient, angry, pissed-attitude-all-the-way Bad Boy. Damn! She shivered happily as she eyed Inuyasha's expensive clothing and well made body. I love bad boys! Especially rich ones!
---------------------------------
"Is she sizing him up or what? I swear, she's so transparent, it's kind of embarrassing," muttered Thom.
"He's taken, sweetie!" Carson heckled the screen.
"You guys don't think he'll get violent, do you?" worried Jai.
Kyan rolled his eyes. "Hey Jai? Is the boy breathing?"
"Um, yeah," Jai said slowly.
"Then he's going to get violent."
Jai groaned. "This is so not good…"
---------------------------------
Inuyasha wanted to back away from this girl, this forward girl wearing too much perfume and whose skirt was too short. If she bends over, I'm going to see way more then Kagome would be happy with, he thought to himself, uncomfortable with the very thought. Glancing away, he almost choked as the slight stench of the strange girl's attraction to him reached his nose. Past time to leave, he decided quickly.
"Move," he ordered rudely, trying to go around her.
The girl giggled and gave a small bow, sliding sideways so that she still blocked the now angry hanyou. "Pleased to meet you too," she chided lightly.
Inuyasha blinked. "You're a baka," he said, pleased that for once someone else was being the idiot. "I am not pleased to meet you. You're pushy, you smell and you dress like a whore."
The girl's face went white and then stained red.
---------------------------------
Kyan blinked. "Wow. That was…blunt."
Ted slowly turned to Jai. "Weren't you going to teach him manners?" he asked hesitantly.
Jai threw an appalled look at the screen and swallowed half his seabreeze at once. "I tried!" he moaned unhappily. "But there's only so much I can do! I mean, look at the raw material I had to work with! Nada! Zip! Nothing!"
"Maybe he'll get better," Thom soothed, shooting Kyan and Carson dark looks after they snorted too loudly.
---------------------------------
A crowd had gathered around the two as The Girl in school was humiliated.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" the girl demanded angrily. No matter how rich, cute or attractive a man was, he was not going to get away with insulting her like that! She thrust her hand out and shoved Inuyasha as hard as she could. Inuyasha, of course, didn't move.
A head in the buzzing mass caught Inuyasha's eye and he felt his mouth stretch into a smile that was purely evil. Grabbing the girl's still outstretched hand, he flung her onto Houjou. The two toppled over and landed in heap on the ground, still wet from some rain the night before, mud flying everywhere and over everyone.
"You take her," Inuyasha said to the sweet boy with a mean smile. "She's so horny, she'll probably do you right here," he added in a loud carrying whisper.
Ignoring the girl's screech of protest, innocent Houjou's stammers and the crowd's shocked murmurs, Inuyasha shoved through and continued on his path to Kagome.
---------------------------------
Jai, stunned, looked at Carson who turned horrified eyes to Kyan who glanced at Ted who merely shook his head and stared at Thom who raised his eyebrows at Jai.
"What?" Jai asked defensively. "That was so not my fault!"
"Who was supposed to teach him manners?" demanded Thom.
"His mother!" Jai snipped.
Ted rolled his eyes. "He's an orphan, remember?"
"Well, I am not a miracle worker! Has he killed anyone lately?" Jai asked in irritation.
"No," the other men chorused, some a bit reluctantly.
"Then I think we should just count our blessings!" Jai hissed and slouched against the couch back. "Now, shut up all of you, he's walking toward Kagome."
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Kagome grimaced as her foot went into a puddle. "Ew," she frowned down at her muddy loafer.
"You got me too," pouted Eri, shaking off her foot.
Ayumi shook her head. "Rain and dirt don't do much for shoes," she commented.
Yuma nodded her head wisely in agreement.
The four were strolling along, taking their time as they exited school. The wind blew and Kagome shivered. Cold! She thought. Just like I was cold to Inuyasha. Kagome sighed, feeling slightly guilty about abandoning Inuyasha so abruptly but she had really needed that break…
"What's a sigh like that for?" asked Eri.
"What?" Kagome's head jerked up and she blushed from the intense stares her friends were giving her.
Dancing in front of Kagome, Yuma planted her hands on her hips and demanded, "Is it that two timing, no good, bandanna wearing boyfriend of yours again?"
"Oh no!!" groaned Yuka. "Not that creep again!"
"He's not a creep," Ayumi cut in, to the surprise of the other girls. "He's just really odd, in a slightly psychotic way," she finished brightly.
Kagome sighed again and tried to walk around her friends. "Leave it alone guys."
"It is him!"
"I thought we talked about this!"
"We did?" questioned Ayumi, confused as usual.
Yuma and Eri glared at their curly and empty headed friend.
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"They're like some bizarre version of the Three Stooges," commented
Kyan.
"Headbands and perms," Carson said with a disgusted look. "No wonder Kagome wore cardigans with sundresses, if she hangs out with these walking fashion mistakes."
"Did that girl say 'two timing'?" Jai asked in horror. "Please tell me she did not just say that Inuyasha has cheated on that sweet girl!"
"Impossible," declared Thom. "He's too shy!"
"She said it! She called Inuyasha a two timing, no good, bandanna wearing-"
"Whoa whoa whoa!" shouted Carson. "Bandannas? Those were out when they were in! No project of mine would ever wear a bandanna! That girl," Carson said firmly, pointing at the screen, "is out of her mind! Hello, she's wearing a headband. Can we really trust her?"
Ted rolled his eyes. "Just because someone has no fashion sense is no reason to assume they're wrong about everything, Carson."
Carson waved a hand. "Well, I wouldn't trust someone like that."
"That's because Carson's lost his mind…" whispered Thom to Jai who nodded empathetically.
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"But Kagome! He's always the reason you sigh!" said Eri firmly.
"Yes, I'm sighing about him!" Kagome admitted, exasperated. "But it's nothing he did, it's something I did to him!"
The three friends gasped in horror. "You cheated on him!?!?!?" they yelled, aghast.
"Wha-??? No!!" Kagome shouted, waving her hands in front of her face in frantic negation. "I sort of abandoned him so that I could do that spa thing my mother bought me and…I feel bad."
Ayumi laughed. "Is that all? He should understand that with all your illnesses, you needed a good relaxing time to yourself."
"Not a guy like that!" argued Yuma. "He won't understand anything if it doesn't concern him!"
"True," agreed Eri with a nod of her head.
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"Oh, shut up Headband girl!" Carson said to the screen. "Inuyasha is nicer then that!"
"No, no. Headband has a point," Thom said thoughtfully. "Inuyasha doesn't really get anything that doesn't involve himself."
"Or Ramen," added Ted.
"You guys should have more faith in him," chided Kyan.
Thom and Ted snorted. "Please. Save your breath."
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Yuma whirled around to start walking again and so she was the first to see. About to start re-harassing Kagome to give up on her boyfriend, Yuma slowly walked to a halt.
"What's up Yuma?" Eri asked in confusion, following where the other girl was looking and her mouth dropped open.
Kagome and Ayumi looked from one friend to another and turned as one to see what the two were staring at.
Ayumi's eyes went wide. "Oh my….Kagome, isn't that your cheating boyfriend?"
Kagome mutely nodded, unable to fully grasp Inuyasha's transformation.
He was stomping through the school grounds, an elegantly dressed delinquent. His coat was open and flapping behind him and as he lowered his head to the wind, his short silver hair shone in the sunlight. The silver strands escaped the cap on his head and curled around the collar of his jacket. His t-shirt was plastered against his abdomen and chest, revealing Inuyasha's structured physique. The jeans were tight enough to show off muscular thighs and a tight bum that swayed sensuously as he walked. He looked up and, as he saw Kagome, a small smile broke out on his face and his eyes lit up.
Kagome took a breath and swallowed heavily, trying to blink.
Yuma turned slowly to Kagome and said breathily, "You know, cheating really isn't such a big deal…You can live with that."
"Anyone could live with that," Eri mumbled, dazed as she stared at the hanyou walking toward their little group.
Ayumi smiled brightly. "And you two thought he had no redeeming qualities!" She giggled as the dumbfounded Eri and Yuma. "I, for one, firmly believe a fine ass meets the criteria to be a good quality. If you throw the rest of his body in, the boy has more redeeming qualities then Ghandi."
"Ghandi was old, scrawny and bald. That was a terrible comparison," muttered Kagome as she began to pull at her skirt, tugged at her shirt and attempted to fix her hair into something other then it's normal tangle.
It's the same scowl, the same permanently annoyed attitude, the same face and the same stomp but everything else is different...very different… Kagome felt herself blush.
Inuyasha stopped in front of Kagome and stood for a second drinking in her flushed appearance, tousled hair and bright eyes. I missed you, he thought gently and just enjoyed seeing her and having her near him as she was supposed to be. Wait a goddamn minute! That's right, she left me! he thought in growing annoyance.
"Oi," Inuyasha stated roughly. "You're never doing that disappearing thing again, got me?"
Suddenly, Inuyasha's altered exterior was not all that important.
"What did you just say?" Kagome ground out, fists clenched.
---------------------------------
"Okay, should we just staple his mouth together?" asked Jai, throwing his hands up in defeat.
"It's like he enjoys shooting himself in the foot," said Kyan with a disbelieving shake of his head.
"He hasn't seen in her in days, we all know he's excited to see her and when he finally does, he insults her and treats her like a slave!" Thom grumbled. "Hello!?! What is he thinking?!?"
Carson wearily shook his head. "He is so not getting laid…"
The other four hung their heads in agreement.
---------------------------------
"Exactly what it sounds like I said!" Inuyasha shot back. "How am I supposed to protect you if you never stick around?"
"I don't always need to be protected!" Kagome yelled, stomping her foot in her anger.
Inuyasha snorted. "Please. Spare me from your stupidity."
Kagome almost screamed in fury but settled for yanking on one of Inuyasha's forelocks. Hard.
Inuyasha yelped as the pain penetrated his thick skull. "Bitch! Let go!" He twisted in vain to move away from the livid schoolgirl but Kagome tightened her hold and glared.
"Apologize," Kagome demanded.
Is she trying to be dominant? Inuyasha thought in horror. Hell no!
Inuyasha grabbed Kagome's wrist and applied pressure until the girl reluctantly let go. Standing up to his full height, he took each of Kagome's hands in his and said angrily, "Do not order me around."
"Don't be so patronizing!" Kagome hissed, ignoring the crowd surrounding them.
"Don't be so stubborn," Inuyasha growled.
"Don't be so arrogant!" Kagome yelled.
"Don't run off!" Inuyasha barked.
"I didn't run off! I needed some alone time!" Kagome said furiously, incensed by his usual blockheaded attitude.
"Well, that's the last alone time you're ever having!" Inuyasha shouted back.
"Why?!?!"
"Because I like having you with me!" Inuyasha yelled.
The silence that came after that confession was broken by something that neither expected.
"Awwww," went the crowd. Sporadic applause and some cheers sounded as Kagome's eyes went wide and Inuyasha felt his face flush.
"I bet he didn't mean to say that!" came the mumble from one boy with a snicker.
"How sweet! An unintentional declaration of love!" sighed one girl.
"Keh!" sputtered Inuyasha, terribly embarrassed. "It wasn't-! I didn't mean-! We're leaving!" he told Kagome firmly as he dragged her through the crowd.
"Fine but first let me button my jacket. It's cold out here," Kagome explained between stumbling steps. Inuyasha glanced back at her and internally smiled at how adorable she looked with that disgruntled expression on her face.
"Alright," Inuyasha said, ire forgotten. "Don't want you sick," he said softly, glancing at her as his blush darkened. Mindful of his claws, he began to fasten Kagome's jacket buttons. Slowly and carefully, one by one, Inuyasha locked his eyes with Kagome's as he pushed each button into the right hole.
"I, uh...I can do it myself," the bashful girl stammered, unused to Inuyasha casually touching her. Inuyasha ignored her and finished doing all the buttons up to her neck. Rolling her eyes, Kagome said affectionately, "I'll choke like that."
With an answering smile, Inuyasha undid the first two. "Better?" he asked jokingly.
"Oh much. Thank you my savior," Kagome replied, grinning.
Inuyasha continued to unbutton her coat, seemingly fascinated with what was revealed with each small gap. Kagome felt the mood between them change and was slowly becoming uncomfortable.
"Um, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked with a nervous smile. "Why are you playing with my buttons?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why are you undoing my buttons?" she asked.
In front of her classmates, entire school and teachers, Inuyasha lifted his eyebrows and said with a charming grin, "Just practicing."
While Kagome's mouth sagged open, Inuyasha tugged her coat closed and led her home.
---------------------------------
"Okay, maybe he is getting laid," Carson said after a moments silence.
"We're still in the game!" cheered Ted.
"Yeah!!" cheered the others.
---------------------------------
Kagome's three best friends watched Inuyasha and Kagome walk home hand in hand.
"Kagome may be onto something with this whole bad boy thing," mused Eri.
"Look at that butt go," Ayumi said admiringly.
"I want one of those for my birthday," Yuma said with a wistful look.
---------------------------------
"Lord, don't we all," sighed Kyan.
The fab five watched Kagome and Inuyasha joke, laugh and argue the entire way back to the shrine. Occasionally, the two would remember they were holding hands and blush a deep crimson. Yet, no matter how hard they flushed, or the looks they got, the two teenagers never let go.
"Oh my god!! So sweet!!" gushed Carson.
"I want a boyfriend," muttered Kyan in a fake pout.
Inuyasha and Kagome smiled sweetly at each other as only teenagers in love could.
"I want that!" Jai said dreamily, clutching Ted's shoulder. "Don't you want that??"
"I'd rather have the sex actually," Ted answered honestly.
"Well, naturally," Jai agreed, as if this were an obvious point.
"Do you think she'll like what we did?" Thom asked, a tad anxiously.
"Who the hell cares?" Jai shrugged. "I just want to see if he actually gets anywhere with her!"
"And this from the culture expert," chortled Kyan.
"We may be gay but we're still men," answered Jai, "and what do men care about?"
"SEX!!!" the others gleefully shouted and toasted themselves and their gender.
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A/N: well, I know it wasn't worth the huge wait. Sorry about that. It segues so nicely with the next part but it just makes sense to stop it here. I sincerely hoped you enjoyed it! The rest of the chapter will posted before next weekend! Review if you would be as so kind!! I really want to hit 200!!!
Just sending out a kudos to those who reviewed: Shaid Kiryuu-500 NoName BloodyRomances Jogoku Hikari Lynne C114 Squeak-toy Sakura8907 Jade Summers WickerB Punk Goddess Catherine Kitsune-idjit Unknown Fool Lady Netiri Ria
To those who emailed to nudge me- Thank you so much! Loved it! SugasSprite, Lady Mac Oniyuri Gaaru and Kerica( and her anonymous friend)!!!