Chapter 7: Revealing The Truth
When Harry awoke the next day it was past lunchtime. Sun was shining in through the many windows of the room and there was a curious stillness in the air. Harry had a passing thought that it seemed almost too quiet, but he quickly pushed any suspicions from his mind and decided to go find Ron and Hermione.
Harry stepped out into the hallway slowly, unable to control the impulse to peak down the hall and around the corner. Giving himself a shake, he continued downstairs, pricking his ears for sounds of his friends. He heard nothing, however, and by the time he reached the entryway, he had begun to worry. He dashed to the back of the house, knowing that if any of the Weasleys were at home, there was a good chance that Mrs. Weasley would be in the kitchen, cooking or chatting. But though the room was sunny and peaceful, it was completely empty.
Hearing a noise, Harry turned defensively with his wand raised, but to his relief, he found himself facing Hedwig. He lowered his wand and mumbled an apology as he sat down at the end of the table and reached out a hand to stoke her. In return, Hedwig gave him a few gentle nips and a soft 'hoot.'
"I wondered what became of you." he told her earnestly. "And where did I leave your cage?" He looked around the room, wondering if he had carried it with him when he came in here last night. As his eyes passed over the table, he noticed a piece of parchment lying beside the teapot, and realized that it was a note from Mrs. Weasley. She had left it to tell him that she had taken Ron, Ginny, and Hermione to Diagon Alley to buy their school things.
Though he felt slightly hurt that they hadn't bothered to wait for him, Harry was glad that he hadn't accompanied his friends to Diagon Alley. It would be far too risky for them to be with him in public, unprotected. Harry unwillingly remembered Sirius, who had spent the majority of last year holed up at Grimmwauld Place; now it was Harry's turn to go into hiding, at least until he could get his act together and confront Voldemort. Harry's stomach lurched at the thought.
"Hello, Harry." Harry looked up to see Lupin standing in the doorway.
"Hey," he replied tonelessly.
"They wanted to wake you, but you wouldn't have been able to go with them anyway." His voice trailed off as he watched Harry. He smiled, but his eyes looked worried and tired. Harry nodded.
"I wanted to talk to you anyway," he began hesitantly, "I was wondering.if you could answer a few questions--?"
"I can try. And I might as well go get your trunk from my other cloak. You went upstairs without it last night.I'll be right back!" he said, and he hurried off to get his cloak. Harry only had to wait for a moment: Lupin returned almost immediately carrying the Presto Parchment and Hedwig's missing cage.
"Thought you might want this too," he said as he set them both on the table in front of Harry. In one swift motion, Lupin slid into the chair nearest to Harry, grabbed the teapot, and began to pour. "Tea?" he asked, but Harry shook his head. Lupin ignored this however, and pushed a steaming mug across the table.
"Drink," he said sternly, "I promised Molly you'd eat some breakfast. She's worried about you." Lupin looked like he wanted to say something more, but he seemed to think better of it and simply said, "So what did you want to ask me?"
Harry wasn't sure what he wanted to say; he'd planned on asking about Snape, but now that he was face-to-face with Lupin, all he could think about was this house. The more he looked around, the more familiar things felt. He had to know the truth.
"This house." he finally blurted out, "It was my.I.I recognize it." He exhaled slowly, only now noticing that he'd been holding his breath. Lupin watched him quietly for a moment before clearing his throat to speak.
"I was wondering if you might remember this house," he began with a sigh, "I didn't really expect you to; you were very young the last time you were here. But I suppose you've guessed.this was your parents' home, Potter Cottage." Lupin hesitated, with a worried look at Harry. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything before, Harry."
"No," Harry answered, "I understand." Of course he understood. If he knew the location of the headquarters, Voldemort could find out anytime. It was best to keep him as much in the dark as possible, though he hated to admit it. And now he felt as if he knew too much. Somehow he always caused trouble, and now he had potentially jeopardized the safety of the Order. "I'm sorry I found out," he muttered, "I didn't mean to."
"Don't be sorry Harry. It's your history; you couldn't help remembering. In fact, I'm glad you did. Sometimes I feel like it was all a dream." Lupin's eyes got a blank, glazed look, "It's nice to know someone else remembers this place, even a little bit."
Harry's sinking feeling grew even more intense as he realized how Lupin must feel. Here he was sitting at the kitchen table of James Potter, the man who had been one of his best friends. Harry could imagine how lonely he must feel; his three closest friends all gone from his life forever. As he looked up at his former teacher, he couldn't help but feel guilty. It was his fault. He could have prevented Sirius' death. If only he had never been born, even his parents would still be alive.
And now he had done it again. Well, he'd have to remedy that.
"Professor..?" he said slowly.
"Call me Remus, Harry." Harry only nodded distractedly.
"Remus, I think you should do a memory charm on me. Get me out of here. I can't put the Order in this position. How many people know where Potter Cottage is? Even if I don't, the name alone is probably enough."
"Harry," Lupin interrupted him, "I'm not going to modify your memory. You are perfectly safe here, no-please listen-this is possibly the safest place for you to be right now. Every possible guarding spell and protection has been placed on Potter Cottage. And you don't need to worry about Voldemort breaking into your thoughts. Dumbledore himself assured me that it was all taken care of." Harry now remembered unhappily the reason he had wanted to talk with Lupin in the first place: Snape. What else could that potion have been except a mind protection?
"But Profes-Remus," he said quickly, "Snape didn't give me that potion of his. It was the protection, wasn't it? And I didn't take it! So, I'm still--" He was cut off again by Lupin.
"Yes, it was a potion to guard your thoughts," Lupin told him, nodding, "It was a Celosensa serum: a thought-concealer. But, that is certainly not the only protection. There are several charms placed on the house to ward off mental intrusion."
"Warding off mental intrusion," Harry said, trying to stay calm, "Is not the same thing. Don't you understand?" he pleaded, but he could see from Lupin's expression that he did understand.
"You're right, Harry, but Snape has his reasons. He wouldn't take a risk like that."
"But why didn't he give it to me?" Harry was confused, but he felt slightly better; Lupin didn't seem at all worried.
"I do not know, but he's speaking with Dumbledore as soon as possible, and he promised me that there was no reason to worry about it. I tried to question him, but he was rather.shirty with me." Lupin made a face and Harry could imagine Snape's sneer as he refused to share the desired information.
"Will you tell me when you find out?" Harry asked quickly.
"If I find out anything, I'll tell you what I can," Lupin promised. "And now! I think we need some lunch, since we pretty much forgot about breakfast." Harry joined him as he made his way towards the kitchen.
"Remus." he started uncertainly, "All the protections on this house.who did that?"
Lupin gave him a strange look, and answered, "Your parents put did them all. Your mother mostly. She was quite an expert with charms," he added thoughtfully. He smiled a little and looked back at Harry. "They loved this house, you know. Designed it all themselves. It still feels the same as it did the day they left it."
Lunch was a simple affair. Lupin had shown surprising skill in the art of sandwich-making. Soon, he and Harry were sitting quietly on either side of a large platter. Harry could feel Lupin watching him, so he tried to get through at least one good sized sandwich, but gave up halfway. He had still had no appetite.
Harry's thoughts had drifted back to the prophecy. It seemed much more real now that he was back in the wizarding community. Seeing his friends only made him more determined to succeed, though he tried hard not to think about what that meant; he didn't want Voldemort to win, but he wasn't sure he wanted to become a killer himself either. What he needed was information. It seemed like every time he had an encounter with the dark wizard, he learned some new bit of information from Dumbledore. If only he could get all the facts now, at once, he thought he would be much more prepared.
Then again, he was fairly certain that Dumbledore wouldn't agree to tell him everything. The kindly old wizard had an infuriating habit of trying to protect Harry. 'But now everything's different!' Harry argued in his head, 'I can't go up against Voldemort not knowing who-what-I am facing. I have a right to know everything there is to know. More right than most people.' Suddenly, Harry thought of something.
"Remus?" he asked sharply, "What does the Order do? I mean.what happens in meetings and stuff?"
"Well," Lupin seemed to be deciding how he would answer, "You know what the order does. We basically do everything we can to oppose Voldemort and his followers. It involves a lot of recruiting efforts and we've been trying to negotiate with many different groups: merfolk, goblins, giants, even centaurs. Most of the meetings are a chance for the members to update each other on the various business of the order."
"What about information?" Harry inquired, not-so-innocently, "I know you have spies in Voldemort's inner circle. Some of you must be working on gathering information about him, about his plans. Right?" Lupin nodded in agreement, but was looking at Harry suspiciously.
"Harry," he began, "I'm not sure what you are getting at but-"
"I need to join the Order." Harry declared, "I need to know what's going on. I think I have a right to get the full story." Lupin looked like his fears had been realized, but to Harry's surprise, he answered quite calmly.
"Well, I agree with you, but there are certain concerns."
"I'll need to learn occlumency first." Harry admitted. Lupin nodded.
"Yes. And there are other things to consider. There are reasons why underage wizards aren't allowed to join. For one thing, their safety; you need to be able to apparate. An Order meeting would be the ideal opportunity for a group of Death Eaters to attack; we need to be sure that all of the members can take care of themselves, which means quick escape and dueling if necessary." He looked at Harry solemnly. "But I believe you are quite capable of defending yourself when you need to, and." he smirked to himself, "I also think that I may be able to help you with the apparition business."
*****
Two hours later, Harry was deeply immersed in a book Lupin had given him, called Gone In A Flash: Accelerated Apparation, when Ron burst into the bedroom, followed shortly by Hermione.
"Hey, Harry!" Ron greeted him jovially. To Harry's relief, neither of them noticed as he quickly slipped the book under his pillow. "Have a good day, mate?"
"Sure," Harry answered as he watched Ron heave a large bag of books onto his bed. Hermione also carried a heavy looking sack, but she left it by the door and hurried over to Harry's bed.
"Have you been up here all day?" she asked, looking concerned.
"Nah. Lupin and I had something to eat and we talked for awhile." He instinctively looked behind him before he continued, "I asked about Snape." He hesitated a moment to be sure that he had their attention. Hermione stared at him expectantly and Ron perked up visibly. "Turns out, that potion is the extra protection they've been working on. It's called Celosensa serum." Harry ignored the excited squeak from Hermione and continued on, "It's supposed to be a way to conceal your thoughts." Realization suddenly showed on Ron's face too.
"But, Harry," Hermione said, "Why didn't he give it to you?"
"I don't know," Harry said honestly, "And Lupin didn't either. I guess Snape wouldn't explain to him, but whatever it is, he's going to talk to Dumbledore about it."
"So, all that time and they didn't even use the stupid potion?" Ron blurted, throwing his long arms out.
"I guess."
"Well, from what you told us about Snape, he was planning on using it, until the last minute when he changed his mind. I wonder what was wrong." Hermione pondered, "And if he didn't give you the potion, does that mean your mind is an open book to Voldemort?" Harry smiled grimly at Hermione's impeccable logic.
"That's what I asked," Harry told her, "But Lupin said it was nothing to worry about, that Snape knows what he's doing. Plus, he says there are plenty of mind protecting charms on the house."
"Hey!" Ron cried, "You should ask Lupin about the house, Harry." Hermione gave Ron a look that told Harry all too clearly that she had deemed this a forbidden subject, but Harry figured he was going to tell them eventually, so he decided now was a good enough time.
"Actually, I did ask about the house," he confessed, "Turns out, this was my parents' house. Lupin says I only lived here for a while when I was really young, but it's getting more and more familiar to me."
"Wow, Harry! So your mum and dad put all those charms on the house?" Hermione was clearly impressed.
"Yeah, I guess the charms were mainly my mum's doing. Lupin said they
designed the whole place themselves."
"No wonder there are secret rooms that only you can enter," Ron pointed out, sounding only slightly jealous, "This is your house." He finished flatly.
Harry looked up quickly. He hadn't thought of it that way. Until Ron said it, he'd only been thinking of it as his parents' old place, but now that he heard aloud, he realized it must be true. He looked blankly at Ron and mumbled, "Potter Cottage."
"Cottage?" Ron choked, "Ha! Your parents were rich Harry, no doubt about it." Harry felt awkward immediately, hoping Ron wouldn't start feeling jealous; a few times in the past, Ron had been painfully aware of his own family's lack of wealth. The Weasley's were poor but happy, and in Harry's opinion, Ron had it far better than he did. Hermione had fallen backwards onto Harry's bed and was staring at the ceiling.
"I wonder what other doors you can open in this house?" but Harry merely shrugged and hoped she'd drop it. He really didn't feel like stumbling on any more strange surprises. He was surprisingly eager to return to his book; he was amazed to discover how quickly he read when he was interested in the book. He was starting to understand how Hermione, the eternal bookworm, did it. Unfortunately, he wasn't very keen to have his friends find out about his apparation lessons with Lupin. He didn't want to have to explain why he needed to learn. So, he waited patiently and listened as Ron told him about their day at Diagon Alley.
".it's really too bad you weren't up. You have got to see Fred and George's shop! It was raking it in! They offered Ginny wages if she'd stay and help them check people out! We saw Neville there with his Gran. Fred tried to offer her one of the old trick wands, but when it turned into a piece of raw meat, she practically chased him from his own store! It was awesome...!"
Hermione had already cracked open one of her new books, and Harry noticed with surprise that it was a subject he'd never heard of.
"Magical Healing and Remedies?" he read curiously, "Since when do you take that class?" Hermione gave him an annoyed look before returning to the book.
"Since this year. It's the elective I chose. I wanted to choose the Magical Arts and Music one as well but Professor McGonagall wrote back and said that I have too many classes already," she said matter-of-factly. "Ron went in for the Muggle Studies elective, which I think will be very good for him." She looked up at Harry again and asked, 'What elective did you chose?"
"Er.I forget." He shrugged quickly and tried to turn away, but Hermione set down her book and looked at him suspiciously.
"Harry, did you get your O.W.L. results?"
"Of course he did, Hermione! Give him a break!" Ron turned from Hermione to Harry, "She just wants you to ask her how many O.W.L.s she got," he said looking disgruntled.
"I was just wondering how Harry did, Ron!" She gave Ron a disdainful look. For once, Harry was hoping they'd get into an argument and forget all about him in the process. He had no interest in his O.W.L.s results, though he wasn't over eager to explain to Hermione. He didn't think she'd be too supportive of his decision not to go back to Hogwarts. Unfortunately, Hermione was not to be distracted, and she managed to end her argument with Ron surprisingly quickly. "So, Harry, how did you do?"
"Umm." he had no idea what to tell her. He had forgotten all about his O.W.L.s. "I don't know," he finally confessed, "I forget," he added weakly, trying not to meet her eye.
"How can you forget how you did on your O.W.L.s?" Hermione exclaimed. Ron muttered something under his breath, but Hermione wasn't listening. "Well, why don't you look at them again then? You'll have to remember if you want to buy your new books."
"I don't know where I put them." Harry began, but already he knew he had lost; Hermione strode over to his trunk and began shuffling around, throwing things out as she went.
"Honestly!" Ron whispered as he and Harry watched her nearly rip the trunk apart as she searched. "She's obsessed!" Harry tried to get her to stop, but she ignored his protests. Within a few minutes, she had successfully emptied the entire trunk and was going through the contents again.
Then, to Harry's displeasure, she gave a little shout, "Ah! I think I've found them." She paused for a moment and then rounded on Harry. "You didn't even look at them? I should have known. Don't you even care about your scores?" Harry was on the verge of telling her 'No' when she pushed the crumpled envelope into his hand. "Here. Open it."
Harry glared at her for a moment before ripping the envelope open. He jerkily pulled the enclosed pages out, and without so much as glancing at them, he threw them to the floor.
"There. Happy?" he asked calmly, and before Hermione recovered from her shock, he walked swiftly across the room and opened the closet door. He shut it carefully behind him before sighing heavily. It was going to be harder than he expected to keep the truth from his friends. But as much as he hated keeping it from them, he didn't want to see their reactions when he told them the prophecy.
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches.born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies.and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not. And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.the one with the power to vanquish the dark lord will be born as the seventh month dies.
'No,' Harry told himself, "I can't tell them. Not yet." But Harry knew that sooner or later they'd find out. They'd wonder why Harry had secretly learned to apparate. And if he did in fact join the Order of the Phoenix, they were sure to suspect something then. He wouldn't be able to hide it from them forever. The way things were going, they would have to be told sooner, rather than later; how else could Harry explain his reasons for not wanted to go back to school with them?
He dropped his head into his hands as he slid his back down the wall, and he wished vaguely that he had thought to grab the apparation book. This was shaping up to be a long night.