Summery – Jack's POV. What happened when she left New Mecca?

AN – True to original story line. My AU, but hey, my AU don't kick in until two years after this story's set, so it's true to the originals. I pieced it together from the info on the DVD's, played connect the dots…blah blah, you get it.

AN2 – Another of my funky funky song fics. It was strange, 'cause I was watching the last few minutes of CoR, and my friend was listening to her music in the same room, and when Riddick asked Kyra as she was dying "Are you with me, Kyra?" the song that my friend was listening to blared out the line "…I'm with you…". I just had to write a song fic to it after that!

Disclaimer – Trust me, if I owned 'em, I'd have sold everyone save Riddick for a massive amount of money, and would currently be hiding (with Riddick) in the cave from Pitch Black coming up with some nice NC-17 stuff. 3:-D

I felt strange when I woke up on New Mecca. Like waking up in a dream. I wondered while I was still half asleep and shielded behind a hazy mind what we would do today. Still lying low, of course, I get that, so our options are limited. I think I'll nag you to teach me some more…or maybe I'll just practise what I already know. It'll be cool, and if I keep it up, I might stand a chance of some day being as great at this as you are.

What was I talking about? We weren't still on New Mecca. We'd left, remember? Mercs had found us there and you and me had left. They wouldn't hurt Imam, only you, so you left and I went with you. The warm sheets are the only thing keeping me warm, and the Lajjun's hum that I thought I could hear before was the hum of the static coming from the ships engine.

I smile and swing out of bed, my cold feet hitting the floor.

Soft.

That was wrong…it wasn't supposed to be soft. Metal panel floors barely were.

I open my eyes and I wake up.

Shit.

I should have stayed in the dream. I forgot all about yesterday, and now I'm stuck in the reality of my dumb-ass decisions. I mean, how thick do you have to be to sign on with Mercs? About as dumb as I got. God, Riddick would be so pissed if he ever found out about this!

I close my eyes and start remembering, tryin to be where I'm not anymore, but the memories won't come. I try a little harder, but all that's clear in my head is the bitter taste I had to swallow when I swallowed the Merc way. Gun goes first. Greed is Creed. Fuckin' hypocrisy, nothin' more, and now I'm left in the wake of the mistakes that I made.

I cast the memories away and stand unsteadily on the blanket roll beside me. In a Merc skiff, there are only limited bedding areas. I learned this already, and therefore have had to make do with the cargo hold, but I don't care.

I roll out of 'my bedroom' and wander into the communal shower area thing. I don't have a clue what it's called; it's just a room which sprays water from all directions.

I run the water cold to try and wake up my still groggy head, and it comes out icy. I only realise it after pins and needles start to set in…shit, I hadn't realise I was this slow to react.

It's your fault. I swear, I was almost as good as you when you were around, when you were standing so close to me, but now you're gone…you're gone. I've been chasing you for weeks with these guys, but we're getting no closer. You're still as distant to me as you always were…

And I can't bring you back.

I know you thought it was best for me if you left me in New Mecca, and it's probably true. New Mecca is better than being a Merc. But there's still a chance that this way, I'll find you, and I feel it's worth the pain of being here. The promise of you face…the sound of your voice…reviving every detail of you that's painted here, on my memory,

Even though you're not with me anymore, Riddick, I'm with you.

I'll always be with you.

I close my eyes, and sigh with contentment. Now I can see you. Still the way you always were…hiding behind your walls, keeping everything inside, behind your goggles where no one can see them. I see you. When I don't close my eyes, I can see you.

See? I never left you.

I strike out at the first Merc I see, Jamik. I feel his jaw crunch, but it doesn't stop him…hell, I think it just pissed him off more. I close my eyes as I feel another set of arms wrap around me from behind, pinning my arms to my sides. I watch behind my eyelids as I listen for the other three Mercs in the room. Two to the left, one behind, the one hold me, and the one I hit still ahead…and then me, still pinned.

Suddenly, your face is there in my mind.

I lunge at Jamik, who I know will be coming at me again soon. I hit him, and in my mind I see myself hit you. Well, why the hell not? It's your fault that I'm here. You hit me back and I stumble, struggling against the hold from behind which refuses to release me. Another Merc comes at me and I bring my leg up behind me, effectively kicking the man behind me in the nads. He lets go of me and I lunge again for Janik, finally taking him down with me as I fall to the floor, my already painful ankle buckling under my weight. I think it's broken, but I don't know. And I don't care. All I care about is keeping up the fight. These bastards think they can just sell me off to the first bloody savages they come across, they have another thing coming!

I spot Kilin on the other side of the skiff holding the net-cannon on me, and the rest of the day seems to stand still. I'm royally screwed now.

Oh well, may as well be double damned.

I aim a huge flem-ball at Kilin and smirk with satisfaction when it hits his boot.

"It's okay," he tells me with a sneer. "I can buy a new pair with the money we get from you."

I hear the metallic hiss of the net being launched, and I cross the fine line between awake and out cold.

The first thing I can hear is the bartering between the Mercs and the Rykangolls. This and that, probably. Probably the Mercs getting greedy, wanting more for me then the Ryks think I'm worth. Who knows, with any luck, the 'greed is creed' bastards might actually push them far enough and they'll all shoot each other.

I should be so lucky.

The leader Rykangoll turns to me with a feral grin as the Mercs pack up to leave, and I get that horrid illness sorta feeling that you get when you realise just how badly things have gone wrong.

I'm theirs now.

I'm not the naïve child most people seem to think I am. I'm heard of Rykangolls, and I know what's coming next. Am I scared?

Shit yeah.

I wish you could just show up, right now before anything can happen. I wish you could come blasting in, taking out Mercs and Ryks left right and headless, coming out with some smart ass comment about how you figured I'd have landed myself in trouble.

But that won't happen.

I screw my eyes closed, pretending to have lost consciousness again. They'll want me awake before they start anything, I should think. I watch the blackness behind my eyes take your shape again, and I can pretend that the past isn't real. You never left, and we're still together, on the run, and I ain't the side-kick, hell, I could kick your ass if I wanted. No one messes with Jack B. Badd!

But those aren't the familiar images I'm given.

I see you, yeah. I see you on New Mecca.

I see you walking away.

I know that I promised you I'd stay in my room and not try to follow you, but hey…I lied. I'm twelve, I'm aloud. I guess this is the punishment, huh? I'm being punished by being trapped in the memory I made when I broke the promise, and now I'm stuck between a rock and a very hard hard place. Stay here in my own personal hell, or wake to the mistakes that I've made.

I feel a hard slap on my cheek, and I know that they're trying to rouse me.

"We know you're awake girl," one of the Rykangolls barks at me. Another slap, then "get up!"

Slow to react and trying to fake sleepiness, I rise to my feet and allow myself to be led by the group of five beasts I know will be my owners…possibly my torturers…probably my killers.

I close my eyes again in the search for your face, but I find nothing. It's sad almost…even though you're here, in my mind, so close to me, you are still so distant, and I still can't bring you back.

But it's still worth it.

I know you thought it was best for me if you left me in New Mecca, and it's probably true. New Mecca is better than this…whatever this may turn out to be. But there's still a chance that this way, I'll find you. Well, actually there's more of a chance now that you'll find me. A small chance. But a chance. I feel it's worth the pain of being here. The promise of you face…the sound of your voice…reviving every detail of you that's painted here, on my memory.

I feel myself dumped onto a hard patch of dirt and my arms and legs are roughly bound at the wrists, elbows, ankles and knees. Almost incapable of moving, I seek your face once more.

I can't find you.

But even though you're not with me anymore, Riddick, I'm still with you.

I'll always be with you.

I open my eyes to the brightness around me, wishing again that I could see you again, the way you always were…hiding behind your walls, keeping everything inside, behind your goggles where no one can see them. I see you. But now, even when I close my eyes, I see nothing.

I'll never leave you.

I'm sorry Riddick.

I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I can't just shut out the pain and close my eyes and think of you, you aren't there. You won't come.

No matter how far we travelled together, and no matter how far I've come alone, I never learned how to deal with something like this. I've been here for nineteen days now. It's strange. I woke up the first few mornings afraid that they would kill me. Then I woke up afraid that they wouldn't. Now I'm sure they will…I think they already have. Can a mind die and leave just the body behind?

They will kill me, Riddick. Tomorrow. It's just that tomorrow's always just one day away.

I can't wait to see it. Tomorrow, I mean.

I used to wonder if we went through enough together, maybe you'd talk to me. Maybe you wouldn't keep treating me like the kid. Maybe you'd see me go through so much that you'd finally accept that I wasn't an average twelve year old.

Well, I went through it all right. It's just that you weren't here to see it.

And you aren't.

And now I see you never will be, will you?

You weren't gonna come back for us on T2, you weren't gonna come back for me on New Mecca, and you're not gonna come for me now.

I can't wait to see tomorrow.

But you know what'd be something, Riddick? To see that tomorrow with you.

I love you…

I hate you…

I will never forgive you for leaving me there! I will never forgive you for saving me on T2 and then forsaking me on New Mecca!

This is what you wanted, this is what you did, and damn it, you deserve to see it. You deserve to see my death.

But you won't.

Even if you were here, there's nothing to see. The last nineteen days, my face hasn't changed. You taught me well, and throughout the entire time, I've been keeping everything in side. They never once heard me scream, and never one heard me beg.

I was screaming though.

I was begging.

But not with them.

With you.

But now I see you weren't listening. You never were.

Even on T2, you only came back because Fry wanted you to.

It's strange. Even in the hardest times aboard the Merc ship, I used to be able to close my eyes and I'd be with you again. But now I see that you've abandoned me in every sense of the word. You couldn't even stay with my mind until it was destroyed.

I feel the cool air from outside and hear heavy footfalls approaching.

Rykangolls.

One, two, three…four? Four sets of feet?

I hear them as they get closer, sliding the cell door open. I know what'll happen next, but I'm still not gonna let them know, I'm still keeping everything inside.

I feel hot, putrid breath on my face, and I know what's to come next.

And I know I cannot take it.

I wish I were with you now more than ever. The last hope of the dying. No matter how futile and how much in violation of what that person loves or wants in life, it's so very important to them so close to death.

Hard, scaly hands attached to hard, scaly arms snake around my waist to my restraints. They know that I'll not fight so many of them…in fact, I thin they think I can't.

Even now, even as I wait to make my move, I'm not sure whether or not they are right.

I close my eyes as I feel another set of scaly hands unbind my legs.

They were right.

This body, this mind, this child, cannot fight them.

But they must be fought…and you are not here to do it for me.

I don't even know what happens next…I just know that I killed them. All of them. The ship's auto-piloting itself somewhere, and all nine Rykangolls are dead now.

I killed them.

I'm trying to feel what I felt after I killed the hell-bitch on the Kublah Khan, but I feel nothing.

Is this how it was for you to? Just waking up after a kill and realising you aren't who you were? Is this what happened to you on that planet, when you said Riddick was dead?

Jack is dead.

But she's not gone.

The difference between Jack and I…the reason I'm here now and she isn't.

Jack still has faith in you.

You left her on New Mecca, but she still believes you can save her from what she has become.

She is still with you.