Last Straw
Mojave Wolf
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha! And I don't want him either! Do you have Shippo, Kouga, or Sesshoumaru available?
Author's Notes: This chapter is dedicated to Katzztar for giving me some great ideas for this chapter. It appears the jokes are here to stay. The youkai are going to meet Kagome's friends and the some modern conveniences. Just think of all the things in the average house that a demon could get into. Sounds like fun to me! Vincent and Kiochi are just going to add comments to people who actually addressed them because they are playing my old SNES D&D game. They were inspired to play it by my maze screensaver. I sometimes wonder about their intelligence. After all, they sit and stare at my screensaver for hours. Only idiots do that. You people should be grateful that I'm writing this! I'm not feeling well and I really like that game. I'm sorry about the long wait. My computer messed up and refused to be fixed. I'm also going to update on weekends so I can finish all of my schoolwork.
Review Responses:
Katzztar: Just says how clueless guys are about females. I haven't seen that episode yet. I'm going to buy some manga with my birthday cash. I've got more money from the interest I charge for borrowing from me near my birthday. I hope you don't mind me borrowing that part at the end. I can't pass it up! Cookie for you!
Kiochi: Beware the puns. They lead to pain in your sides.
Vincent: 'Follow the runes to the strength of the gods.' Where are those runes! Oh yeah, Kiochi you suck at making up D&D style warnings.
Aphiopsyduck: You were right about him looking like Ginta. The only difference is Ginta is both cooler and cuter. Plus, a human can't compare to a wolf demon. I wonder if he has ever seen Ginta and is copying his hairstyle. Don't worry about my cat, she is crazy. She viciously attacks the newspaper and my sheets. Those poor guys don't know about the dangers of modern teenagers. If your ears are ringing, just think about those poor youkai. Their hearing is at least three times better than yours is. You get a cookie for clearing up that!
Kiochi: Vincent is going to help me talk to him. Jaken forgives me, so it shouldn't be too hard.
Inu Youkai-Hime: I promised you a cookie so here it is along with another for reviewing!
evilfire4321: Sorry to hear about the cruel review. I suggest an idea you like with characters you know well. Get a beta-reader to help check chapters for errors. Also, stick to genres you know you can write well. I am good with first person POVs so I write in that. I am also good with sad events and how people feel about that. If you want more advice I can email you. Kiochi has shut up for the most part, so he doesn't get hit as much. I hope two cookies make you feel better!
Kiochi: Please don't hurt me. My foot is staying out of my mouth.
Vincent: No hard feelings. Kiochi and I get along better now, so I don't need a new home.
ladyofthedragons1: Another cookie for you! Another joke is at the end of this chapter. I love creating chaos. It's so much fun!
Greenmaster88: Cookie for the reviewer! Watch what happens to the poor demons.
Dacia: Cookie goes to you and thank you for the review!
Star Silver Fox: Thanks for reviewing and here's a cookie!
'Orion: Thanks for the review and here is your cookie!
C_Dog: I promise to update this as regularly as possible. Here is a cookie!
sakurafans: Thank you for the compliment. Of course you may put this fic on your site, but you have to send me the link. Here is a cookie! Make sure to get that site up!
Deadly Tears: Thanks for the review! I will try to update regularly. You get the cookie!
Sapphire Lotus: Cookie goes to the reviewer! Read on.
Nicole Hibiki: I present you with a cookie! I love Kouga/Kagome too. Read to find out what happens to those poor demons.
Suzuko: I don't know where to find that book. Barnes and Nobles seems to have those kinds of books. Here's a cookie! cry-wolf: Here's your cookie. It is sad about how Kouga/Kagomes are never updated. I'll try not to be like that. I've always hated it when someone abandons a story. FFgal: I didn't create the list. I found it on the Internet. Who knows if he will go with her. I started drooling when I typed that scene. My bio is getting added on to every so often so keep checking it. You get cookies for actually bothering to read my stupid bio and reviewing every chapter!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~* Kagome's POV*~
Anyone but them! Why me! Why did they have to come over! I would rather deal with Kikyo, Naraku, and all of Naraku's incarnations. Poor, poor demons. They'll never survive those three. I'll never survive this. Please don't let them notice Shippo, I'll never live through the embarrassment.
~* Kouga's POV*~The females stared at all of us. Suddenly they all let out an ear shattering shriek and managing to herd Haggaku, Ginta, Kagome, and myself into a corner and speaking all at once.
"They're hot!" "What about Hojo? I thought you two were together?" "Is the one with the mohawk single?" were I could pick out. Wait a second?! Together?! What the hell does that mean?!
"Sit down and I'll explain," Kagome told them. She looked annoyed. The loud females sat down at the table and Kagome forced us to sit down also. They stared at my friends and myself like we were food. I didn't like that look, and I knew Ginta and Haggaku felt the same way.
"These are some friends of mine. Ginta is the one with gray and black hair, Haggaku is the one with the mohawk, and Kouga is the one with solid black hair. These people are some other friends o mine. They are Eri. Yuka, and Ayumi," Kagome said gesturing to each of us as she said our names. I could tell she wanted this over quickly from the way she was rushing through introductions. Except for the loud squeals and shrieks, they didn't seem so dangerous.
"Are you sure that one of them isn't just a friend?" the one called Yuka questioned. Yeah, it's me! Kagome is my woman!
"You're not cheating on Hojo, are you?" Eri said. Who's Hojo? He better not have touched my woman!
"Hojo and I are not dating," Kagome replied. What's dating? I don't like the sound of it…
"Didn't you mention a Kouga once?" Ayumi asked. Kagome has been talking about me! I might have a chance with her! "And what about that other guy?" Who was the other guy? I'm gonna kill him! And if I can't kill him, I'll at least maul him!
Shippo, who had been half-asleep in Kagome's lap, chose then to make his appearance. The kit hopped onto the table and stared at the girls across from him. Their eyes widened and they let out a screech that reminded me of a group of harpies,
"Aww! He's so cute!" all three females squealed as they surrounded Kagome and the poor kitsune. I'll admit the kid was adorable. He could easily make any female coo over him.
"Kagome, when did you have a baby?" the female called Ayumi asked. Kagome has a baby! Wait, they were referring to Shippo. Thank the gods and spirits for that.
"Hey! She couldn't be the mother. There hasn't been any time for her to carry it!" Eri said. Are they stupid? Shippo doesn't look anything like her!
"Maybe that's why she was absent from school," Ayumi replied. What's school? Is it a demon?
"No, we've seen her during that time, she was never big enough to be carrying a baby," Yuka added. Yeah, women look huge when pregnant. If those girls were her friends they would have noticed that.
"But our school uniforms could have hidden it. After all, the top makes Kagome's breasts look small, but we know she's a D-cup. Our gym clothes show that off," Ayumi retorted. What's a D-cup? And what's gym? And what does it show off?
"So," the three girls said while looking at her, "who's the father?" they finished. If she did get pregnant now I would kill or maul the father. I glanced at Kagome to see how she was doing against them. She looked cornered.
"Shippo isn't her child," I told them. I needed to protect Kagome from everything, even pestering friends. They were starting to get on my nerves. Is she sure that they aren't demons? I would rather fight Naraku without any shards and with an injured leg than deal with them.
"Did you adopt him Kagome?" Yuka asked. Kagome nodded. Hopefully I helped her.
"What's his name?" Eri asked as she tried to get a better look at the frightened kit. I could see Ginta and Haggaku taking advantage of the girls' distraction by finding a hiding place. I gave a growl that a human couldn't hear to tell them to stay. They quickly hopped back into their chairs. I knew how they felt, but if I couldn't leave, they couldn't either.
"His name is Shippo," Kagome told them. Shippo was still trying to hide from them. Poor kit, I didn't like the harpies either.
"How old is he," one of the girls asked. I didn't really notice the rest of the conversation. I tuned out the rest of the conversation. I started pondering as to what a D-cup was. They had mentioned breasts so maybe it referred to something about them. But, what would they use the letters for? My thoughts strayed to things children shouldn't see. I was lost in those thoughts until I heard the harpies saying goodbye to Kagome.
"Kagome, what's a D-cup?" I asked after I was sure they were gone. I know I shouldn't have after seeing her reaction, but I am a wolf. Wolves are curious creatures by nature. Please let her realize this.
"Don't worry about that," she said. It was then Kagome's mother told us that lunch was ready. We ate quickly. I decided to try to help out. If Kagome's family liked me, they wouldn't mind any future relationships.
"Uhh… Kagome's mother?" I was unsure what to call her.
"You can call me Mrs. Higurashi, dear," the kindly woman told me.
"Mrs. Higurashi, is there anything I can do to help you with?" I asked her. I sounded like a wimp. I knew it.
"That's alright. Kagome, could you please show them some of the things in the house?" Mrs. Higurashi said as she went to a basin with the plates. She shooed us out of the room. The old man went outside while the boy headed up the stairs. After they had left Ginta started to ask questions.
"What's with all the strange stuff? The box in that room has people trapped in it!" Ginta said while he started to panic.
"I forgot this place has a lot of stuff you don't know about. Why don't we start in the living room." Kagome said as she started off to the other room. She turned to a large box with glass on the front. "This is a television, or TV. It shows, uh, I guess you could call it moving pictures," she told us. She picked up a rectangle with little buttons on it. "This is a remote. You use it to turn the TV on." She pointed the 'remote' at the 'TV' and pushed a button. The box lit up and showed people in it. They were yelling at each other. Then one of them took off her top garment. A cloud blocked out her breasts. She took off the rest of her clothes and once again a cloud blocked out the area between her legs. I couldn't stop staring and Ginta and Haggaku had started drooling.
Kagome looked at the screen and quickly turned it off by pressing the same button that had turned it on. "That's enough TV for now," she said while giving us a nervous smile.
"Why were they taking off their clothes?" Shippo asked in childish innocence.
"That was called Jerry Springer. No one with any decency goes on it. The only reason any one watches that show is because of how rowdy it gets," Kagome said to him. I could tell she was she was changing the subject. I decided to shut up, I don't want to make her nervous. I should have paid more attention to my surroundings, I nearly ran into the wall. Its not my fault I can't stop thinking about what Kagome looks under all those clothes. I admit it, I'm a pervert, but I only think about Kagome.
She showed us some more things, but I was still thinking about her taking off her clothes like the crazy female on 'TV'.
She led us to another room. This one had strange, slick, cold squares on the floors and walls. Strong smelling bottles and tubes sat on shelves that sat around the room. A large basin carved of what appeared to be some kind of stone sat against the walls. Textured glass doors were close to the basin. I wondered how rich Kagome was. Not even lords had something like this. How could I hope to make Kagome happy in my humble den if this was her home!
"This is the bathroom. Now, please don't touch anything," she said as she walked over to the small basin in front of a large mirror. "This is the sink. This knob lets out cold water and this one lets out hot. Try not to turn the hot water knob very high. You'll end up getting scalded," she said as she turned the knobs she referred to.
"This is the bathtub. The knobs work the same as the sink. If you want to take a bath, just put the stopper in the drain and turn on the water," she said as she pointed to everything. I started thinking about Kagome bathing. Maybe someday she'll let me see that. Hopefully she'll let me bathe with her.
"Why do we need to know this? And why can't you bathe in a stream or hot spring?" Ginta asked. I wanted to know that also, but angry females scare me. And Kagome doesn't seem to be in a very good mood today.
"I don't want any of you hurting yourselves with anything. Some of the stuff here is dangerous. Plus, you may attack something and get hurt. As for why we don't use streams, it is because there are none. Most streams and hot springs have dried up or were destroyed, or you just can't use. Plus, most people won't use them because we have private tubs in our homes," Kagome replied. She didn't look very happy.
"So, if I survive five hundred years, I'll use all this stuff?" Haggaku asked.
"Yes," Kagome replied while looking at him like he was stupid or something.
"I'm getting an advantage on everyone else!" Haggaku said while seeming very happily. And people say I act stupid.
"On to something else. This is a shower. It works like the sink and tub," she walked over and opened the glass doors, "but the water comes from this nozzle in little streams," she said as she showed us the little room.
"How does it do that?" Shippo asked from her shoulder.
"I don't really know. I think the water is shoved through the pipes or something like that," she explained, sounding unsure.
"Cool! Are there lots of neat things like that here? Like all the stuff you bring me? And is there lots of candy?" Shippo asked in his usual hyper way.
"Yeah. Maybe I'll take you to where I get that stuff and let you pick out some things," Kagome said. He brightened at her words. "But, you have to be good or else I won't take you at all," she said as she tapped his nose. He nodded and smiled at her.
"When are you taking me?" he asked excitedly.
"Maybe tomorrow, but remember, you have to be good," Kagome told him. I could tell she would be a great mother. She was so caring and loving. I could imagine her talking to our pups like that someday. I only hoped that that vision would become reality. I was really looking forward to what created those pups. Must… pay… attention… to… Kagome. Need… to… know… this… stuff. Stop… thinking. That's much better.
"What about us?" I asked her. Ginta and Haggaku told her that they wanted to come along also. I was curious about this place. If she was taking the kid, I'm coming too. She can't leave me out of this trip!
"Uh, you can come if you want, but I should warn you that there are a lot of people and it is very loud," she told us.
"It can't be that bad. What danger could there be to endanger a youkai?" I told her. She looked at me like I was either crazy or stupid, perhaps both. I hadn't smelled any youkai here yet.
"It's your funeral," she said as she shrugged. What could make this era so dangerous?
"Let's get back to showing you everything here. Those bottles and tubes contain some things that you shouldn't eat… unless you want to find out what a stomach pump is," she said as she opened small doors and drawers to show us more bottles and tubes. I decided to listen to her, I didn't like the sound of 'stomach pump'. "There is more stuff I should show you, but I have homework. You can ask my family if you get bored to help you find something to do. Just stay inside and don't break anything," she said as she left for her room. I wonder what a 'homework' is?
"What about the old man with the sticky paper?" Haggaku asked as he looked around for the crazy human.
"Don't worry about him, he won't hurt you," Kagome assured him. From the look on Haggaku's face, I don't think he believed her.
"Just don't bother me, alright?" Kagome replied as she headed into her room.
"What about me?" Shippo asked, looking as if he was going to cry.
"You can stay with me if you play quietly," she told him as she gave the kit a hug. I really wished that she would hug me, and maybe even more then that, but I can't force her to. She left into her room and I decided to see more of the 'TV'. I really wished she would let me come too, but I don't want her to get angry.
~* Two hours later, still in Kouga's POV*~
Ginta and Haggaku were still in awe of the 'TV'. I had grown bored and decided to see how Kagome was doing. I walked to her room and entered. Kagome was staring at a large amount of papers. I noticed her move to write something on the paper.
"What are you in here for?" she asked, not moving from the papers.
"I just wanted to see what was taking so long," I told her as I sat near Shippo.
"I'll be done soon. You can stay if you are quiet," she replied as she continued writing. Her wonderful scent was tainted with frustration. I decided to not talk at all. If I said one thing wrong she would get angry, and no wolf with a brain angered volatile females.
I took a look at what Shippo was drawing. There was more than one drawing scattered around the kitsune, but one caught my attention first.
It was of a boy in a fox costume chasing off three girls that resembled the ones we had seen earlier in bird demon costumes. A girl in a cat costume and three guys in wolf costumes were cheering him on. Now that I could get a better look at it, I started to recognize the people in it. The one in the cat costume looked like Kagome, the fox looked slightly like Shippo, the one in the wolf costume with the ponytail looked like me, the one with a mohawk had to be Haggaku, and the last wolf was Ginta!
I guess the kid didn't like those harpies either, but why was he chasing them off! He couldn't hope to chase them off! If anything I would get rid of them!
I was interrupted in my thoughts as Kagome shut her books and sighed in relief. She packed up her papers and turned to Shippo and myself.
Her sweet scent was like it was usually. It was just cherry blossoms and rain now. It had been one of the things I had noticed her for. Most humans didn't smell good. She was different than the rest of the human population; all in all she was just better than the ones I had met. She was so kind. She didn't hate all demons like most mikos. Her heart was as beautiful as her appearance. I hoped that she would be happy no matter who she chose. Someone like her deserved to be happy.
"What are you drawing?" she asked as she looked at Shippo's drawing. He opened his mouth to speak when her grandfather shouted that Kagome had a visitor.
I followed Kagome as she ran downstairs. Ginta and Haggaku were already looking at the visitor.
A male visitor.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How was that? I'm so sorry about the long wait, but I should also mention my health lately. This chapter may seem odd, but that's because I'm not feeling well and I've been stuck watching Jerry Springer, talk shows, and VH1. I should probably mention that I didn't come up with this joke. And before I forget go to sluggy.com to see a great web comic. Also, please review!
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The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book Of Wild Animals Of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!
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