Why Shuuichi should never, ever get drunkEVER, a gravitation fanfic

Alright, this was actually written a while ago, but I really felt the need to put it up on here...enjoy, and i own nothing. And if happens to edit out the changes; everything in itallics is actions...

Why Shuuichi should never get drunk. EVER!

Shuuichi stumbles across the stage, falls once or twice. Stumbles through the following speech

Shuuichi: Okay..okay..there's a good reason for why I look like this..and I have it written down here..(pulls out a paper)But I'm not gonna sing it..m'kay? You'd understand it better in..rap..

"Just Lose It"

Intro
(Shuiichi making noises)
Ok..
Guess who's back?
Back again
the uke's back points to self
Tell a friend
Yuki: Baka! leaves the stage for a while
(Shuuichi dances in a strange, drunken manner, then suddenly sobers up)

Now everyone report to the con floor To the con floor, to the con floor
Now everyone report to the con floor
Alright Stop!...Bishounen time
(MC Hammer-ish moves in the above verse)

Verse 1
Come here little fangirls, On my lap (pats legs)
Guess who's back with a brand new record?
And I don't mean record as in the spoken word of a old Trekkie star...
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Don't worry (waves finger), Shuuichi's got a brand new bag of toys
What else could I possibly do to get noticed?
I done touched on everything, but game-master boys (ad-lib dance)
That's not a stab at Sensui
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho
I go a little bit spazy sometimes
I get a whole lot out of control with my feelings...
Good Gods, dip, do a little slide
Stretch up, grab the strawberry Pocky and just glide (follows the instructions of the past two lines)
Up the center of the store aisle
Like sugar for my system-oh (waves hands downward in a "it's fine" gesture)
And it's cool if ya'll let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot" (sticks butt out, pulls it back in), it's OK! (Fart Sound)
Oops the cd just skipped
And every congoer just let one rip (waves finger accusingly)

Chorus Now I will make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah girl shake that thing
Oops I mean boy
(Yuki passes behind, eyes wide in confusion. Holds up sign saying as much)
boy boy boy
fawns Oh Yuki, you're my world
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Go crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)
(ad-lib dance)

Verse 2
It's an off day and it's my day
Just to party all the way to sunday
Maybe til monday, I dunno what day
All the time it's just a holiday
Crusin' down the street and
Feelin' kinda bishie
Got the top down, lettin' my hair blow flips hair
I have no clue where I'm goin' but
All I know is when I get there
Someone's gonna "touch my body" moves body like a snake standing up while running hand down side
(Ad-lib dance for the earlier part of the verse)

Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a gaijin
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from rehersal
Could you hit me in the stomach and pull my pink hair?
Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out? (Yeah)
Now, what's your name girl?
What's your sign?
Tohma (or some other male character) "Boy, you must be up out your mind!"
Tohma! (HA-HA)
Sake Goggles! blind!
I'm just trying to unwind now I'm

Chorus
Now I will make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah girl shake that thing
Oops I mean boy
boy boy boy
fawns Oh Yuki, you're my world
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Go crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)
(ad-lib dance)

Verse 3
Now it's Tuesday and I'm locked up
I'm in jail and I don't know what happend
They say I was running butt naked
Down the street screaming
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Well I'm sorry, I don't remember Yuki hangs his head in shame...
All I know is this much
I'm not guilty
They said, "Save it, bishie, we gotcha you on tape
yellin' at your best friend 'touch my body!' "
(ad-lib dance)

Now this is the part where the rap breaks down
It gets soo intense, no one makes a sound
Everything looks like it's "Eva" now!
The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves
Snap back to reality
Look it's Ranma 1/2ity?
Yo-you signed me up to battle?
This isn't any martial art!
Dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubbie
I don't have anything to do right here so, chubba teletubbie!
Fella's (WHAT!) Fella's (WHAT!)
Grab you rival, make his girlfriend jealous (what?)
Bishies
he-she's
gaijin's
jidushi's (is that the right name for the Fruits Basket group?)
Tall girls
Small girls
I'm callin' all otakus
Everyone report to the con floor.
It's your chance for a little romantor.
Butt squeezin' it's the season
Just go (HA-HA-HA-HA)
It's so appeasin'

(Yuki, whose been wandering around, then standing at the far side of the stage, steps across the stage. He grabs Shuuichi by the waist and hauls him away from the mic after the first two lines)

Outro
UmMmMmm touch my body
UmMmMmm touch my body
Ooh girl just touch my body
I mean boy just touch my body

(Yuki puts Shuuchi down for a moment, because the pink haired sprite is struggling in his grip)

Shuuichi: Yuki...I was havin' fun. stomps on the ground
Yuki picks Shuuichi back up by the waist again
Yuki: I am never giving you sake again. NEVER.
exit Yuki and Shuuichi)
(fin)