Emma could hear noises all around her, but things were fuzzy,
faces were unclear, words were unrecognizable . She felt some kind of
movement. Her arms falling to her side, was someone carrying her? She
felt tired and didn't want to open her eyes. Her body relaxed.
When she finally came to, she found herself in a bed, Rachel and Ben hovering over her, Rachel already lecturing before she could even truly focus, "My god, Emma, I told you, you should have eaten. You aren't taking care of yourself. This is all we need is you in the hospital suffering from exhaustion and starvation."
Emma rubbed her eyes, "You're being melodramatic as usual. I'm okay, I need to go see Stanley." She started to sit up and immediately felt dizzy. Ben caught her before she collapsed again, and gently helped her lay down.
"You're not going anywhere. Your friend, Rachel, here says you haven't been eating." He took a stethoscope and started listening to her heart rate. "so when was the last time you ate?"
"This is silly. There's nothing wrong with me." The sterile metal always felt cold and chilling searching on her skin.
"Oh, come on, Emma, you haven't been feeling well for the last week, sluggish, exhausted, crying over the slightest thing."
Emma gave Rachel a dirty look while Ben listened intentively. Emma couldn't help but notice Ben's expression of interest of Rachel's little reminders and again tried to brush it off. "I just need to eat, I'm sure that' it,"
He took her blood pressure and Rachel's curiosity got the best of her as she leaned over his shoulder, "That's a bit high isn't' it?"
His eyes looked up without movement of the face, wondering how she suddenly qualified her to be an assistant "A bit. But it could be the stress of Stanley's fall which is causing it."
"Of course that's it." Emma wanted this to be over. She didn't like all this fussing.
But Ben wasn't so certain. "Mood swings? And what about nausea? "
Emma could only sit there and mutely listen as Rachel piped in with more answers, "Mood swings... severe, and come to think of it, she has been sick to her stomach, a couple of times."
"Rachel!" Emma wasn't happy with her friends eagerness with this information.
As far as Ben could see, Rachel wasn't helping matters, and she was only making Emma more upset, so he thought of a way to get rid of her for a few minutes, "Rachel, why don't you go to the nurses station and get Emma a glass of iced water."
Rachel eyed him learily. Not wanting to trust him. Then he gave her a smile, and winked at her,
"Okay, I'll go. But you better not keep anything from me, Emma."
As the door shut behind her, Ben turned back to Emma, looking at her seriously, "Emma, how long have you been experiencing mood swings, nausea?"
'I don't know, a few weeks,. It's nothing. I have a lot going on, with the end of school, and things..."
"When was your last period?"
"What?" Emma was sure she heard him wrong.
"Your period. Do you remember when your last period was?"
'I don't keep track anymore, it's always been so regular...." She started to think. Why couldn't she remember when it was? She had always been regular like clockwork, but it did seem like ages ago since her last one. He couldn't possibly be thinking what she thought he was thinking? Could he?
"Could you be pregnant?"
"No....there's no way..."
"Using birth control?" Ben crossed his arms across his chest, and Emma didn't like the way he was looking at her. It was very reminiscent of her visit to the gynecologist when she was in her teens.
"Well, no...but...there's no reason to"
"So you aren't sexually active?" he continued to question.
She felt so stupid. Being lectured by a doctor-type person at her age about this kind of thing was incredibly embarrassing. She closed her eyes tight and turned away from him.
"I take that as a 'yes' you are sexually active, using no birth control. So pregnancy is definitely a possibility."
"I can't be...really..."Emma couldn't believe this discussion. This couldn't be happening to her. Not at this particular time in her life.
Ben didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but by her expression he realized the possibility of being pregnant was something she wouldn't be jumping for joy over. "I take this news wouldn't be welcomed at this time."
She didn't know how to respond and fumbled over words. "I don't want you to think...I mean, it's just....I have two teenagers... this is really unexpected...wow, a baby...at my age. Accidents aren't supposed to happen at my age, my god, what was I thinking?" She started to get agitated and felt on the verge of tears.
Ben put a comforting hand over hers, "Look, I can test you right now. You'll know within minutes. It's no use getting upset about something till you know for sure."
She nodded, "Yeah, that would be probably be a good idea." She wasn't really so sure. She felt frightened and alone. Why did this have to be happening now?
As Rachel came back into the room with the glass of water, Emma was now sitting up, Ben speaking quietly to her, one hand tenderly rested on her shoulder. The conversation was hushed, so Rachel couldn't make out what they were saying. "Hey, this is going to be okay."
He noticed Rachel coming into the room, he quickly slipped the urine sample into his pocket, "I'll go get you something to eat. Don't go anywhere."
"Thanks, Ben." Emma smiled up at him.
"Don't mention it." Ben tenderly smiled back. As he turned to walk out the door, he realized he was going to get a bunch of crap for this. As it was way beyond his job description. But when had that every stopped him before.
As he left, Rachel followed him with her gaze, "What's with that guy? The way he looks at you."
Emma eyed him leaving the room, "He's a paramedic who helped with Stanley on the side of the cliff."
"Well, he sure seems awfully attentive to you."
"He's getting me something to eat. Isn't that what you want...Me to eat?" She raised her voice, obviously angry. Rachel looked concern.
"Emma, what's going on?"
"I'm tired, I'm hungry and I just want to be left alone." She couldn't even face her best friend, slowly drooping her head down, and covering it with both of her hands. What had she every done to deserve this?
The door silently crept open and Josh peeked his head in. He noticed Emma's face in her hands, clearly on the verge of tears.
Rachel turned to see Josh, and she went over to him, giving him a kiss, "Is she okay?" He whispered.
"No, I don't think so."
Josh moved over to her, "Emma, is there anything I can do?"
She managed to smile up at Josh, then took his hand and squeezed it. "Will you go see Stanley? I just need to sit here for awhile, and get my strength back. I don't want him to see me like this, and I hate him to be alone."
"Sure. I was on my way there, when the nurse told me I could find you in here." Rachel couldn't take her eyes of Emma. And knew there was something amiss here. She knew Emma better than anyone. Her facial expressions rated her as a bad actress and she couldn't hide anything from anybody. Josh took Rachel's hand, "Come on, Rachel."
"I should stay, till Ben gets back."
"No." Emma was adamant. "Please, I won't be long. Just don't tell Stanley about this Rachel. I don't want him to worry."
"Don't worry she won't." Josh gave her the evil and eye and took her by the elbow, escorting her out.
As they walked out the door and it silently finished closing on it's own, Emma buried her head in her hands and wept.
* * * * * *
* * *
It started with the clear blue sky and quickly became hazy, and then storm clouds rushed in. A crack of lightening split the ground directly below his feet. He looked down. With a groaning of the soil, it split and crumbled. And he felt the world, as he knew it, slip away. and started falling.and falling.the sensation lasted in vivid detail.
A large gasp of air woke Stanley. Pain flooded his senses. Closing his eyes again he discovered that he lay flat on his back with restrictive splints attached. He lay very still, taking in the sounds of muted activity beyond the half closed door, willing his breath and heartbeat to slow back down to normal. It was slightly disorienting to wake up in this strange bed with an incredible amount of pain and was not his normal routine. Forcing his eyes to cooperate they creaked open to take in all of the details of the ceiling tiles. Yes, that one dropped panel in the far corner was still crooked. He doubted the interior decorator would notice. With a muffled groan he rolled his very stiff neck to get some movement generating. A studious inspection noticed a lot of paper hanging everywhere. It wasn't until they came into focus, he produced a smile, wells as much as he could with the bruises in the way. . Ahhh. This was classic artwork adorning his walls and from a talented one at best. Holly. The last thing he had remembered as he drifted off to sleep was her voice. The warm feeling was short-lived as recollection of danger and not seeing any of his family in the vicinity caused him a little panic. Grabbing the bedrail with his right hand, he forgot that he was unable to move his left leg and began to sit. This caused a shooting pain up his left side and he bit his lip hard, causing it to draw blood. "Shit!" Curses followed his form as he lay back in bed. He closed his eyes as moistness threatening to run down his cheeks. He knew it was part in frustration, realizing he was totally dependent on others to do anything. Again they opened. Trying to focus, he noticed the call button was sitting by his right hand. Eyeing it, he was debating to push it for help as to what kind of crazed nurse it would produce. The blood started to trickle down his chin. He could only manage a half-attempt to wipe it off, as a nurse walked in.
Plump and jolly was the best way to describe what ambled in with a nurses' uniform attached. She was not one of the original 'dirty dozen' of pain nurses and was one he hadn't seen before. Her features of bright and cheery of coming into the room dropped to a blank stare, revealing a noticeable hesitation as she came face to face with the reality that .he was awake. It was as if, the news had gotten out...he wasn't the most ideal patient and no one wanted to be assigned to his room. Still, she was determined to be a professional. "Mr. Jobson, oh, dear, what have you done here?" She took a tissue from the bedside table and wiped his mouth and chin, not realizing she was transgressing his territory boundaries of toleration.
He just did not like to be touched other than his one and only. Immediately grabbing the tissue from her hand, "I can do that myself."
"Of course you can." She had heard about this one. She began to tidy up things around his bed, checked the IV drip and then gave him a smile, not quite sure how she should breach the subject, "So, I would think you might need to use the toilet. Should I get a male nurse to escort you?"
"I can't get up.So how the hell do you expect me go to the bathroom?" he said snidely.
"Well, Mr. Jobson, you don't want a catheter or a bedpan so that means physically going to the toilet. It isn't going to be the most pleasant experience but I don't want you wetting the bed on my shift." She began to pull the sheet down, and he immediately pulled it up with his good hand. All the way to his chin. She shook her head in disbelief, "The others weren't kidding about you and your attitude, were they?"
"Emma will help me." Talking felt like such a strain. It was amazing how something so natural to him now wore him out so quickly.
"Emma? I don't recall a nurse named Emma."
"My girlfriend....she should be here." He continued looking towards the window...where the hell was she?
"Oh, I know who you mean. The one who fainted in the hallway."
"What?" Stanley started to sit up momentarily forgetting and them immediately remembering what the pain felt like.
"You really have to just lie still, Mr. Jobson. We wouldn't want that incision to open up again, now would we."
He hated her condescending voice, and barked back, "Where is she? Emma?" The door swung open and Josh and Rachel opened the door.
The nurse smiled at both of them and looked at Josh, "It would really be a relief to me if you could help him to the bathroom. He won't let any of us near him. All I can say is I pity this Emma woman for having to put up with him day in and day out."
As she walked out Josh smiled at Stanley, "What happened to all the women fawning all over you? Ever since I got here all I've been hearing is what a pain in the ass you've been." He walked over to the bed and lowered the bed rail.
"I'm laid up in a hospital bed and that's what you come here to tell me? Thanks Josh, so much for bedside manner."
Josh smiled, "Well, you got to admit it's a new phenomenon. I'm used to all the women talking about how wonderful you are. And to think they have the opportunity to look after you in bed....and instead they are drawing straws to see who gets to deal with you."
"Very funny, Josh..." His mumbled words were met with a smirk. Josh shooed Rachel out and helped Stan. It was a long a painful process. After the wheel chair and a lot of patience peppered with an occasional curse word, the mission was accomplished.
Stan felt a relief as Josh helped back onto the bed, and he lowered his battered body back onto the firm mattress, closing his eyes. He wasn't about to tell Josh the room was spinning the entire trip. Josh went to the door and let Rachel back in.
The nurse had been waiting in the wings, also and took the opportunity to arrive with his medication. She knew what technique might work with this type of patient. Wait for re-enforcements, namely friends, to help. Handing the medication to Josh and silently pleading with her eyes, he again attained the impossible.
When Stanley opened his eyes Josh was holding the cup containing his medication. Stanley glanced from the nurse to Josh, "Didn't know you were on their side, Josh."
"Hey, Stan, you got to get better for Holly and Em, nobody wants you in here. So just take the damn stuff." Stanley reluctantly took the pill, and Josh offered him a glass of water with a straw.
The nurse smiled triumphantly, "Now I don't want Mr. Jobson agitated. And he really should be resting, so you can only stay for a short while. The medication might make him drowsy and his speech could be slurred." she addressed Josh, Rachel was distracted looking towards the opened door.
Stanley spoke up,"You know, you could address me, Tell me what's going on. But no, you treat me like I'm a child..."
The nurse cut him off, waving a finger at him, "Mr.Jobson, I have just about had enough of you. I can easily escort your friends out this minute and take away your visitor privileges for the afternoon, and make your life miserable."
"Isn't that what you're already doing?"
Josh felt a major confrontation about to erupt, and smiled at the nurse, "He'll behave, you know he's not himself." Josh gave him a pleading look, to just play along, "We promise to not stay long and wear him out." The nurse liked this young man, he seemed sensible, unlike the one glaring at her from his bed.
She headed for the door, Stanley cursing under his breath, when she turned and he faked a smile, "I will be seeing you later, Mr. Jobson. A moment I am anxiously looking forward to."
As she left Josh looked over at Stanley,"my god, where did they find that one?"
But Stanley was now more interested in Rachel. Who hadn't spoken a word since she entered the room. This was so unlike her, she was the one who never lacked something to say. She kept peeking out the door, and was incredibly distracted, "Rachel, where's Emma?"
Rachel still didn't acknowledge him and Josh answered, "I think your dad took the kids to the movies, thought they needed a break."
Stanley didn't wait for him to finish, "the nurse said she fainted. Rachel, what happened?"
"She hasn't been eating. It's nothing." but the way she said it, it didn't sound like nothing to Stanley. "she'll be here in a minute. I am sure she just wanted to freshen up a bit."
Josh tried to make light conversation but stopped mid-sentence when he realized Stan was distracted by something outside. Both Rachel and Josh turned to see what caught his interest. And saw through the half pulled blinds, Emma and Ben, standing facing each other. One hand on her shoulder, the other gently wiping a tear from her cheek.
Ben wiped the tear from her cheek, "This has been a lot for you to deal with, don't make any decisions right now. There's plenty of time. And you know you can always talk to me." He looked up to find an audience from in the room, feeling a bit awkward he removed his hand from her shoulder and smiled at Stanley and the others. "I think someones waiting for you."
Emma turned around. She wasn't really ready to face him. Why did she feel that everything she felt was written all over her face. He would be able to sense something was wrong and she wasn't ready to breach the subject yet. He was staring at her, it wasn't the loving caring gaze that usually radiated from those eyes. And Emma couldn't face them. She quickly averted her eyes from his gaze and then moved away from the window, her hand nervously found the door handle, but felt reluctant to turn it.
Turning back to Ben, she looked up into his eyes, "I don't want him to know. Not now."
Ben wasn't sure this was the best approach, but she obviously had her reasons. He followed her in, wanting to check up on the patient he helped off the cliff face...but this time it seemed like it wasn't just a follow up, routine visit. He was now personally involved in this woman's life. What was he getting himself into?
She took a deep breath and headed over to the bed, gently kissing Stanley's forehead, he was well aware of the good looking man behind her and he took his free hand drawing her face close to his, looking her straight in the eyes, hers inches from his, "I don't get a proper kiss?"
Emma blushed, in front of her friends, "Stanley, not here. And besides, your face is all bruised. I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't hurt me." he drew her face to his and despite the slight amount of pain from the bruising on his left side of his face, he managed to kiss her. Emma was a bit taken aback, it had to hurt as the left side of his face was swollen.but Stanley behaved as if nothing had happened. His kiss was soft, warm and gentle. His right hand stroked her cheek, sensuously. It felt wonderful and for those few seconds as her eyes were closed, it was as if it was yesterday morning, before the accident. He then looked past Emma at the stranger, hoping to get a reaction. She was his. He wanted this guy to know it.
Emma stood back, then looked at Ben feeling embarrassed, she didn't know where to begin but Ben stepped forwards, "Stanley, glad to see you doing so well. I'm Ben, I was on the cliff face with you. You probably don't remember much about that. But I wanted to check in on you." Stan had a vague recollection of men talking to him up on that cliff, but it was fuzzy like everything else. But this guy, for some reason he was rubbing Stan the wrong way. He wasn't here to check up on him, he was checking out Emma. And he didn't like it one bit.
Emma didn't like the look on Stanley's face. Was another outburst about to take place. She moved back to the bed and sat on the edge, taking hold of his hand smiling at him. "He's been wonderful, Stanley. We owe him a lot."
Ben didn't like this kind of admiration. It wasn't called for,he was incredibly modest, "I didn't do anything out of the ordinary." Stanley felt a rage of jealousy inside, and he was desperately trying to hold it back. He was almost glad when the nurse reappeared in the room carrying a beautiful vase of flowers.
"too many people in here. I'm really sorry, but it will have to be 2 at a time." She smiled at Stanley, "You are one popular man, Mr. Jobson. I can see that." She set the vase on his nightstand, "And these..." she took a sniff into the flowers, "aren't they beautiful. The just arrived."
Ben put a hand on Emma's arm, and whispered, "I got to run. I'll keep in touch." Emma smiled at him sweetly, Stanley was not paying one bit of attention to what the nurse was rattling on about in the background. He was more interested in the exchange between Emma and this guy. Ben turned to Stanley, "And you take it easy, get yourself better....you've got a beautiful woman waiting for you, in my book, that's the best medicine there can be."
Stanley furrowed his brow at him, and Ben took this as his cue to leave. There was a brief exchange of eye contact between he and Emma as he sauntered out of the room.
Stanley's gaze went directly to Emma, and she immediately averted her gaze. Awkwardly she went to the flowers and looked in the card, reading the short note. Anything to not having to look at him. She noticed it wasn't signed. She thought about the woman from yesterday and this morning. She couldn't hide her concern from anyone. Rachel moved over to her, "Who are they from? This is a $50 bouquet easily." She then smiled over at Stanley, "One of those La Jolla widows missing your service, no doubt, Stan."
Stanley would have loved to come up with a snide remark, but just couldn't, the medication and the pain...a mixture of the both really had dulled his senses immensely.
Josh turned to her, "Stop it, Rachel."
"I was joking. Trying to lighten things up." He took her by the arm, "I think we'll leave you two for a bit." and he pulled her out of the door.
With Rachel and Josh gone from the room there was some awkward silence. Emma twirled the card between her fingers over and over, when finally Stan broke the silence. "Are you going to read the card? What's it say?"
Emma looked over at him knowing she was horrible at hiding anything."You know the usual."
"Never gotten flowers before, so what is the usual?"
Emma cleared her throat, feeling a lump there. The news she had just received a few minutes ago was still in the forefront of her mind, what was she going to do. There were so many things to think about now and she had no idea what she was going to do about any of them. And then these flowers and the message...she felt numb. she began to read outloud slowly, "Incredibly disheartened with the news of your recent accident, but am informed you are on your way to a full recovery. Resilient as ever. Looking forward to seeing you again very soon...a friend." She looked over at him. Hoping for some kind of answer. Who was this mysterious friend? But he was hiding something. She took a deep breath and turned away from him.
"Never really cared much for flowers. You know, why don't you take them out to the nurses station. I've been such a dick, it might put me back in their good graces."
"Sounds like a good idea." The strain was evident between them. Emma holding back the news that really Stanley had every right to be apart of. This new development with the mysterious friend wasn't helping matters. It was obvious to her he was hiding something. This woman from his past whoever she was. What was she thinking only yesterday, believing that she could trust him. Right now, she felt so betrayed. Why had she been kidding herself about how the past didn't matter. Clearly it did, and it wasn't going to go away, like she had hoped. As every minute slipped by, she felt the less she knew about this man.
* * * * *
* * *
Emma wasn't surprised when she was called into the principals office on Monday. And even less surprised when she walked out without a job. She knew it was coming. Of course it was one more thing she didn't need right now, but she decided to give her 5th grade class the best last week of school ever. Being with the kids distracted her from Stanley's accident, from the baby...but there was Holly. She was taking her dad's hospitalization fairly well, but she had become so reliant on Emma, even at school. She didn't want to play with the kids at recess, she wanted to help Emma in the classroom. She jabbered consistently about how things were going to be when they all moved in to her house. Something that Emma was now having doubts about. Things had gotten so complicated in the last few days.
She ate in her room for lunch. Feeling overwhelmed. Not wanting to face Rachel, because she was sure that the news was out about her losing her job. And she really didn't feel like talking about it. She was going through a cupboard, she figured she might as well start packing up stuff, when Rachel entered the room.
"I won't have you in here sulking."
"Does it look like I'm sulking?" Rachel thought it was weird that Emma seemed to be handling this new development fairly well. "I'm just not in the mood for company."
"Of course I'm an exception." She pulled up a chair, right next to her.
Emma ignored her and continued sifting through the papers, tossing most of it into a trash can next to her.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Emma turned to her slowly, giving her a cynical look, "Okay?! That's an interesting term under the circumstances. Stanley fell off a cliff this weekend, we're looking at possibly 6 weeks before he will be able to get around on his own. I've already had 4 calls from the hospital. He wants to make sure Holly is okay, that I'm keeping an eye on her. The last call was a nurse informing me that they had to remove the phone in his room because he was getting agitated, and he needed to rest. Like I was the reason for his agitation." She sighed then continued, " Oh and let's see, I lost my job, and I'm not sure how I'm going to be feeding my kids in the months to come.. I've had very little sleep. Holly clings to me all night, Melody can't understand why she can't stay at Stanley's with me, why she can't miss school. She says I am being unsympathetic to her needs. That Stanley's accident has deeply effected her. She acts like he's her father."
Rachel took it all in and was amazed she didn't even break stride, "Well, he's been like one to her. A month ago, you would have given anything for her to feel that way. Why the sudden change?"
She didn't want to get into any of this right now, "Look I'm tired. I still have a class to teach...life goes on....and somehow I'll get through. There isn't anything I can do about those things..." She thought about the baby. How could she possibly take care of a baby.....she could barely take care of herself and the two kids she already had. Rachel watched her curiously. Wanting to know what was going through her mind.
"Maybe you should stay at your own place tonight. Get a good nights sleep. I am sure Hank can handle Holly for the evening. As I recall, your buddy Ben was pretty adamant about you getting some rest and eating properly."
"Holly needs me right now."
"and what about your own family."
"They'll be fine,Melody's just being overdramatic. Holly lost her mother just last year, it means a lot to her, me being there. She doesn't want to admit she's afraid, but she is. She's afraid of losing him. If I can be of some comfort to her than that's what I'll do." She took a breath and then refocused on the cupboard, " Of course I think Stanley has gotten her hopes up, she wants me to move in today and be her mother. I'm not so sure I can live up to these dreams of hers."
Rachel got off her chair and kneeled on the floor next to Emma, placing a hand on her shoulder, causing Emma to turn and look at her. "Wait one second. You never said he asked you to marry him."
"He hasn't. But he did ask me to move in." Emma said it so nonchalantly, she continued with her rummaging.
"Well....Emma that's something."
"Don't, Rachel...you don't know anything. Things are pretty shit for me right now, okay."
"I realize that. But at the end of the day, Stanley loves you."
Emma abruptly stopped sorting thought the papers and looked at Rachel seriously, "Does he?"
"We are not going down this road again, Emma. Of course he does."
Emma felt herself losing the cool composure she had been putting on all day. . She had held herself together this long and she kept telling herself she wasn't going to start crying. Emma took a deep breath trying desperately to hold back the tears.. But it was no use, burying her face in her hands and she began to sob. Rachel put a comforting arm around her.
"I know you're worried about Stanley. But there's something else isn't there?"
"I lost my job, Rachel." she mumbled through her hands.
"I'm not stupid, something was going on yesterday, Emma. You and that paramedic. You're keeping something from me."
"Oh, that's good, I'm having an affair with a guy I met 2 days ago. Come on Rachel."
"So what is it? Are you sick?" Emma couldn't look at her, leaving her face covered by her hands.
Rachel worriedly began to review her best friends symptoms of crying spurts, fainting and throwing up. Her cousin Rebecca had very similar symptoms a few months ago.thinking it was the flu, only to be told....oh, no, could Emma be pregnant? Putting tow and two together, she couldn't contain herself. "Oh, my god.....you're pregnant. Emma, are you pregnant?"
Silence was all she got from the crotched body, still sitting on the floor. "you are." Rachel seemed ecstatic, "That is so wonderful. My god, Emma....."
Emma wished she could be as happy as her friend seemed to be. Ever since she had found out she seemed to be slipping deeper and deeper into a funk. She found herself thinking about things that would never have crossed her mind 17 years ago when she found out about the coming arrival of Kyle. And she didn't like the thoughts she was having.
Rachel continued, "You haven't told him, have you? What are you waiting for? I can't think of better medicine for him right now."
"I haven't told him because I don't know what I'm going to do about it."
"It? Emma, it's Stanley's baby you're carrying. And what do you mean what are you going to do about it? You're going to marry the guy and have his baby. There's nothing to think about."
If only it could be so easy. "Oh, right, he'll marry me now...I forgot. Get pregnant, you get the guy." she said cynically.
"You don't have any doubt that he wouldn't, surely?" she questioned.
"I'm sure he would, Rachel. Stanley does the right thing. He married his first wife when she was pregnant and look how that ended up."
"You are not his first wife. You haven't tried to trap him."
"I haven't decided if I want this baby, Rachel." As she said it she stood up and looked at the clock. Her class would be heading in the room at any minute.
Rachel was shocked, "I didn't hear you just say that, Emma."
"I'm afraid you did. I have had my babies. 2 of them. Maybe I want to do something else with my life other than be a mother."
"You can't even be seriously thinking about an abortion. You love kids, Emma."
"I'm not going to talk about this with you. This is my decision." She nervously began to shuffle papers, a few of them dropped to the floor. That word, abortion...it had been popping into her head all day, and now Rachel actually saying it made the whole thing seem so real and frightening. Was she really contemplating abortion?
Rachel was incredibly upset, she picked up the few dropped papers and placed them in Emma's hands, facing her. She couldn't believe Emma was thinking about abortion. It was just so unlike her, Emma's eyes met hers and Rachel flew into her hard, "And what about Stanley's right to know? What a bout a father's rights?"
Emma threw the papers on the desk and stood her ground, "I swear Rachel if you say anything to him about this, our friendship will be over."
"You're not going to tell him?"
"Not now. God, Rachel, why can't you just leave me alone. You don't have any idea what I'm going through right now. "
Neither one of them saw Holly approach the classroom, standing in the doorway. She didn't like the confrontation she was witnessing. Seeing Emma so upset. She started thinking about her dad..and she panicked. Something must have happened. She felt her heart starting to race and her breathing began to quicken. Emma heard the odd noise coming from behind her and saw a panic stricken Holly bracing herself against the doorway.
Emma ran to her side, "Holly, sweetie, what is it? Are you okay?"
"Something's happened to my dad hasn't it? He's gotten worse, hasn't he?" her voice quivering.
Emma was now kneeling and took Holly in her arms, "Oh, no...nothing's happened to your dad."
"But you're so upset. You've been crying."
Quickly Emma responded with something Holly would except. "I want him to be better today, just like you do. That's all... I want to be able to call the shop and he'll pick up the phone...I want to see him play with Scrap in the backyard...this is just a hard time for all of us. But he's going to be fine, okay. Believe me when I tell you that."
She managed a smile, "I want him to come home too."
"Well, if the nurses have their way, it will be sooner than we think....if he continues to be so cranky and fowl mouthed to them, I'm afraid they'll kick him out."
Holly giggled, "He is cranky isn't he?"
"Just a little bit." Kids began to file into the classroom, past them. With a reassuring push, Holly headed over to her desk and Emma stood up, Rachel laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Please don't do anything stupid."
Emma didn't say anything and moved over to the whiteboard and began to write down an assignment. Rachel left quietly, looking back at her best friend. She had to believe that Emma would think this through and make the right decision.
* * * * *
* *
Hank spent the better part of the day with Stanley. He witnessed his agitation of being bed ridden, the pain was the least of his worries, and his continuous frantic phone calls to Emma about Holly's safety were disturbing, Hank left the room briefly to speak to the doctor, in hopes of being enlightened about Stanley's behavior. The physician was sure it was just the annoyance of being so dependent on others. He didn't mean to be gone as long as he was, but they began talking about the insertion of the pin in his arm, that was to take place that afternoon. Stanley was still not keen on the nurses and became irate if there wasn't someone there with him.
Stanley was just about to pick up the receiver when the nurse entered the room. He gave her the evil eye and continued to dial, as she moved closer to the bed to take his blood pressure. "do you have to do that now? I have to make an important phone call." Stanley pressed buttons so quickly, and got a busy signal, "damn it." he cursed at the phone, "Emma, get off the frigging phone."
The nurse quickly grabbed the phone away from him. He wasn't prepared for this and his reflexes were slow. The nurse smiled triumphantly. Once again she was the victor. She didn't know why there had been so many complaints about dealing with this man. She was having no problems whatsoever.
"Dammit! Give me that phone back!"
"Mr. Jobson. You're blood pressure's up and I've been ordered to do what needs to be done to get your vitals back under control!" She didn't mean to be so forceful but she knew this was the only way to deal with his kind. His surgery to finalize and insert the pin was due to take place later this afternoon and the doctor would not be happy if this outburst upset the O.R. Schedule. He had a pressing golf game the following day, and had specifically scheduled a late time so he could hit a few balls at the driving range.
Stanley was determined, the phone cord was the tenuous connection to his life outside this room and the walls were already starting to feel closed in. He hung on with ever last bit of strength he could muster. . At the other end of the line was a more determined and (unfortunately for Stan) a more experienced nurse that raised 5 boys on her own. She narrowed her gaze, as she really didn't want to rip the cord out of his hand.
"Mr. Jobson. Will you please. let go. of the cord." It was phrased as a command, not a request.
"I need to call Emma. You don't seem to understand how important it is I talk to her." He intended for her to be intimidated by the bruised infused glare and his one-handed death grip on the taunt phone line.
The head of the department RPN, busily examining an armload of reports, crossed the open doorway, hesitated and reversed to take a second look. "Louise." She calmly refrained from smiling. "Do you need any help?"
"No honey." She answered steadfastly while her eyes remained locked on their target. "Mr. Jobson will be cooperating with me very soon, one way or the other."
"Yes, I assume he will, won't he?" Now the smile was filtering through accompanied with a knowing twinkle in her eye. Inserting a worn pen through her hair perched on an ear, the armload of reports gained her full attention again and she continued on her way.
Louise's eyes never left his, nor the stretched cord pulled from here to eternity. Reaching into a deep pocket, out came a pair of authenticated standard medical issued scissors, ready for any type of an emergency situation. This was just deemed such a situation.
He blinked as the empty line whished back to limply thump his right bicep. Holding up the handset with the dangling cord attached, he was numbed with the unexpected action. There was a load of anxiety starting to tumble into the nervous system. How in the heck could he get a hold of anyone now?
"How the hell am I suppose to make my call now? I'm int tiled to a phone in my room." She wasn't listening as she reached into her other handy dandy pocket and pulled out her ever present one-shot. She opted for this mini stainless steel pistol grip syringe with the clear see through tube. It was always there in case of emergencies. Be prepared. That was the motto.
Stanley didn't like the look of that thing whatsoever, "What do you think you are doing? I don't need that, I told you before. I have to be alert, you don't seem to understand...what could happen to my family." The IV tube in one hand, she jabbed the thin needle and inserted a safe portion of cc's into the v-neck insertion sleeve. Letting it drop she read off the vitals on the monitor that had become even more agitated as the session wore on.
His head hurt, this damn useless arm lying straight out at his side was pulsing and he could hardly draw in a deep breath. The outside lifeline had just been cut and now he had been given something, to calm him down...no doubt. Full of frustration, he turned his head toward nurse Louise, intending to pin her to the wall with a death glare.
It wasn't working.
"Now, Mr. Jobson. I want you to take a deep breath and try to count to 20."
"You don't get it, do you? My family could be in danger I need to talk to Emma."
"I'm afraid this is in your best interest, Mr. Jobson. You will thank me in the end." She stepped closer to test his response.
"Somehow I doubt that. And what the fuck do you know about my best interests under the circumstances." Prickles of sweat broke over his brow. He could feel his heart beat clear to the end of his busted arm's fingers. They were really starting to thump now, the same as his toes down his left leg.
"You're not to be calling anyone until the doctor gives you any clearance to use this phone. This kind of behavior is decremental to your recovery." She was able to get within arm's reach of him now. He wouldn't be putting up a fight much longer.
"You don't understand." It was becoming apparent the words were difficult to get out. "Holly." He couldn't support the weight of the handset anymore and let it come to rest on his chest. "Holly. she's." He was feeling very flushed and sick to his stomach.
"Holly. Is she your daughter?" Louise had vaguely heard of some of the family.
His nose tingled and his tongue was going numb. "She's .in. danj.rr." It came out in a whisper. He closed his eyes as the back of his jaws tingled. That was an obvious sign of foreign matter coming up the tubes. He didn't think he could handle what was going to happen.
"Mr. Jobson, you've got to listen to me and try to relax. If you don't relax, the nausea your experiencing will only get worse." She gentled released the remaining phone part from his hand. "Relax now. Count to 20."
Louise felt a slight breeze as the door opened, she turned to find Stanley's father entering, a worried look crossed his brow. "Is everything alright? Surely it's too early to be sedating him for the surgery."
"Everything is fine, Mr. Jobson. He was just a little agitated. His blood pressure incredibly high." Hank noticed the cut phone line, and receiver now sitting on the bedside table.
Stanley looked up at his Dad, trying to speak with no words coming out. Hank moved to the side of the bed, "Don't fight it, son. Listen to the nurse. Everything is going to be alright. Just relax." He really had no choice. If he didn't, he was going to lose his cookies right here and now. With a slight nod of his head, he took a shallow breath and held it a few seconds longer. Breathing deep was a lost cause. It hurt like hell. Laying there trying to will the anxiety away, he felt a cool damp washcloth rest on his forehead. He'll only keep his eyes shut a few more seconds until his stomach settled. Then he was going to give her a piece of his mind.
Much to the nursing staff's delight, Stanley remained out cold all the way up to his surgery. Of course it had the opposite effect on Holly and Emma, who arrived at the hospital after school, only to find him in a comatose state. It was obvious of their dissapointment as they reached Stanley's room just as Hank was leaving it.
"I'm afraid he's out for the rest of the afternoon. They're suppose to be preparing him for surgery very soon." Emma looked past him, gazing on Stanley who looked incredibly peaceful. After this morning's phone calls she couldn't help but be a bit concerned. But the sight of him asleep now was such a contrast.
Hank was very aware of Emma's concern, but she sure put on a good front for Holly. She smiled down at Holly, "Well, at least he's not throwing daggers at the nurses." Holly managed a giggle. Hank loved the rapor they seemed to have together. He knew all Holly wanted next to her dad's recovery was having this woman move in with them and be her mother. But he sensed some uneasiness in Emma yesterday and it was still evident in her demeanor today.
Holly tugged on her grandpa's arm, gazing up into his eyes,"I can be really quiet and I promise I won't disturb him. Please let me sit with him, grandpa?" she pleaded.
"Go ahead, but quiet as a mouse and don't let the nurses see you."
Holly quietly entered his room, and Hank and Emma watched as she pulled up a chair and happily sat by the side of his bed watching him sleep.
Hank smiled and turned to Emma, "She seems to be doing okay."
Emma just nodded, not really listening.
"Doctor says he's looking at Thursday for his release. I'm going to need to get back to Texas by Saturday. Stanley's going to need someone to look after him."
She slowly turned to him, "I can't do that Hank. I have my own kids to look after. It's not that I don't want to, but.."
Kyle had told Hank last night that his dad was taking him and Melody to England next week. Something was up with Emma that was for sure. "Well, I'm sure I can arrange for a live in nurse for awhile, till he's back on his feet, although I think he might have a major fit about that."
"He can't always have his way, Hank."
He desperately wanted to question her, why was she behaving like this? But decided against it. She needed some time.
"He wants me take Holly back to Texas."
This was the first she had heard of this plan, "I'm surprised Holly didn't mention it to me."
"Because she doesn't know." He looked through the window at his granddaughter and son, knowing she wasn't going to be happy about this plan one bit. "Stanley is extremely worried about her. He thinks it would be best for her."
"Well, I'm sure Stanley knows best." she said cynically. She didn't want to get upset but she felt herself becoming agitated, she turned away from the window nervously looking around, then back to Hank, "You know, I think I'm going to go down to the cafeteria. Holly's in good hands. I just need some time to myself."
Hank knew how difficult all this was for her, but she was holding something back. That was obvious. This wasn't the woman he had met a few days ago. The one that had a sparkle in her eye when she gazed at his son. He took a deep sigh and decided to let it go for now. He was glad Stanley was asleep so he didn't have to witness her mood. He opened the door of the room and joined his granddaughter.
* * * * *
* *
Thursday was actually the last day of school and on Friday Josh brought his truck over and helped Emma load up all of her things. Rachel and Josh said they would get the stuff back to her house, since she had promised Stanley she would be at the hospital as soon she could. The doctor hadn't yet given him the green light on his release. And Emma had stayed away from the topic.
Emma showed up just as the doctor was rattling off what Stanley would need to do for a full recovery, and he then handed Hank a list of reliable private nurses. Emma stood at the back of the room, not really listening to what the doctor was saying. Catching a word here and there. Holly was sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked at his dad, "You can throw that away. I have Emma." He gave her a smile, and she couldn't face him. "Emma?" he questioned as she walked over to the window, her back to him.
The doctor noticed the tension, "Well, Mr. Jobson, I will get those release forms started." He had no intention of being apart of this lovers quarrel.
Stanley turned to his dad, "Take Holly outside." Holly looked at her dad, recognizing the tone of his voice. She quickly got off the bed and followed Hank out of the door.
Once the room was empty he spoke softly, "I want you to stay with me, I thought that was clear."
Emma turned to him, not wanting to get upset, "You never asked me."
"I didn't think I had to. I can't have a nurse, Emma. I don't want a nurse, I want you." He wasn't angry, there seemed to be a kind of desperation in his voice,
She felt horrible. She had been so wrapped up in her own problems the last few days, that she hadn't really thought about Stanley being released and how he was going to cope. She recalled the other day, the attack on the nurse. The frequency of his nightmares since he was in the hospital. His growing concern for her safety as well as Holly's.
She moved closer to the bed, his right hand reaching out for her. The desperation in his eyes, she slowly extended her hand and his fingers wrapped around hers, squeezing them tight. "I'm hardly a nurse. How do I know how to look after you, take care of your needs."
"There you have no problem." He smiled wickedly at her. Or tried to anyhow, he was still experiencing a substantial amount of pain in the left side of his face.
"And there's a major reason why I shouldn't be looking after you. You should have someone like Louise. Someone hard nose to boss you around and keep you in line." At the mention of her name Stanley grimace.
"How could you wish the likes of her on me? She doesn't have one caring bone in her body. She likes to torture and administer pain every chance she gets."
Emma couldn't help but smile, then he continued, "I have faith that you can keep me in line.....and I promise to be good."
"And what is your definition of good, Stanley? The doctor has been reluctant all week to send you home, because you disobey orders and have only caused a delay in your recovery."
"It will be different at home with you. Come on, give me a chance...if after a week if you feel it's too much, I'll let you hire a nurse....It just makes sense you staying with me. Your kids will be gone, Holly is off to Texas with Dad. "
"I just wish you didn't assume everything."
Stanley noticed she hadn't once looked him in the eye and now she was looking down at her feet. He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand, "This hasn't been fair on you, I know. Your kids are off to England, and you get stuck with a crotchety invalid. I was hoping this weekend I'd be moving you into the house."
"There's plenty of time for that."
"You're dissapointed, I know that. Everything was going fine...." He thought about Ginger's appearance on the cliff top, and closed his eyes tight. Emma noticed the agitation in his voice and looked at him, his eyes closed tight, as if he was experiencing more pain.
"Stanley, are you okay? Maybe I should get a nurse."
"No." he opened his eyes and gave her a cockeyed smile, "Lay down next to me, so I can hold you."
"You're crazy. There would be a nurse in here in a flash, Stanley."
"I don't care. I'm getting released today." His thumb now sensuously stroking her hand, Emma sighed. He knew he had her, "Go close the blinds." She looked down at him, as he let go of her hand, and gave her a little nudge. She slowly walked to the window and peered out to see a group of nurses at the nurses station, chatting and going over patients charts. Hank and Holly nowhere to be seen. Emma assumed he had taken her to the cafeteria. She closed the blinds, and then headed back to his bed. She released the safety bar and gently climbed on the bed laying on her left side, his good arm around her shoulders. Being able to touch her again, caused an excitement in him, which he wasn't quite prepared for. Despite the pain in turning his head, he faced her, smelling her hair, gently kissing her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks. Emma wanted to cry. She missed him. She could never deny what she felt for him. For those few moments feeling him next to her, all her problems seemed to vanish. His hand went to her hair, and he found her lips. She voluntarily parted them and Stanley's tongue gently found hers. Emma's hand resting on his chest, began to gently stroke him. She had no idea what she was doing, but she felt incredibly turned on. She pulled back his sheet, and her hand found it's way down his chest, Stanley's breathing began to quicken as her fingers found what they were looking for, he unexpectedly responded with a gasp and the door swung open.
"What the hell is going on in here?" a voice bellowed and Emma quickly jumped up, the movement from her quick departure of the bed caused the jarring of his leg and Stanley let out a muffled cry. Emma moved far away from the bed, towards the window as the Louise's beady eyes blazed into her. She then turned back to Stanley.
"I've come to get you dressed."
"Like hell you will, Emma can do it." Stanley muttered.
"I'm sure she can. It seems Emma can do a lot of things." The nurse laid a change of clothes on his bed. Hank had brought him a loose pair of shorts and a tshirt. "Well, I will leave you to it." She pulled open the blinds, "and I think it's best we leave these open from now on. I can't say that I'm not glad you are leaving Mr. Jobson, but you have made my shift much more exciting that is for sure." She gave Emma a wink, and left the room.
Stanley laughed despite the pain it caused, Emma feeling incredibly self conscious, slowly found Stanley's joy contagious, smiled and then stifled a giggle. "So I guess you'll stay at the house." Stanley commented.
"I guess so." Stanley smiled triumphantly, as the door opened and Hank and Holly entered. They couldn't help but notice that all seemed fine between the two of them again. And Holly climbed up on the bed next to her dad.
"Grandpa says I can ride everyday all day if I want."
Holly hadn't been completely convinced going to Texas was in her best interests, but Hank seemed to have just sold her. And Stanley was glad. He didn't want her to go away frightened or worried about him. He turned to Hank, as he toussled Holly's hair, "Don't spoil her too much , Dad."
"That's what grandad's are for right, Holly." Holly smiled back at her grandpa and then back at her dad., nodding her head.
"And I don't have to worry about you. Because Emma is going to take good care of you. But I bet you'll miss me."
"Every minute." He looked past Holly at Emma, and gave her a wink. Emma could help but notice the change in him. Of course he was anxious to get home, but the angry paranoid Stanley that had existed over the past few days seemed gone. She was well aware of the calming effect she seemed to have on him. The comfort she tended to be able to give to him. But it wasn't going to be an easy few weeks. There were a lot of issues that needed to be addressed once he was feeling better. They both had secrets now, and Emma realized she was doing to him what she had accused him of on more than one occasion. She was keeping things from him. Her losing her job and more important the child that she was carrying, her hand automatically went to her abdomen and rubbed it gently. She was totally oblivious to the conversation in the room, when she heard her name. She turned to look at the others. Hank had obviously been joking about something, chuckling and smiling her way. But she had no clue what. Stanley saw the far off gaze, her hand resting on her abdomen. A look of slight concern covered his face.
Trying to recover from the awkward situation, she moved towards the bed and picked up the clothes...handing them to Hank, "Help your son get dressed. I think we're all a bit anxious to get home," She helped Holly off the bed and leaned over kissing Stanley. Holly waited at the door.
Stanley didn't let Emma go so easily, holding onto her hand, "you said home."
"Actually, I meant my home...I have to help the kids with their packing. Their plane leaves at 9 tomorrow."
"Oh..... so you aren't coming back to the house tonight?" he sounded dissapointed.
"For awhile, yes...but I want to be with my kids tonight. I've kind of been neglecting them this week. You understand right? I mean, you've gotten your way, and I'm sure Hank and Holly can look after you for one night."
"I'd just prefer you."
"Let Holly play nurse for 24 hours. She's dying to."
"I'm being a selfish bastard."
"Kind of."
Holly moved over to them and grabbed Emma's hand, "Come on, stop making lovey dovey eyes at each other, you can do that loads later."
"She has a point" he smiled. He thought about the next couple weeks at the house alone with Emma. Of course his injuries were the furthest thing thing from his mind.
Emma headed out the door and Hank moved over to the bedside, carefully drawing back the sheet and helping Stanley to sit up to remove his hospital gown. He undid the fastenings on the back, and then slipped it off his shoulders. Bruises were covered everywhere. Most contained a deep healing purple and more than likely to change over the coming weeks. As he slipped the Tshirt over his arm in the cast, Stanley grimaced. He was still feeling a lot of discomfort, from all the bruising. Once the Tshirt was on, Stanley noticed Hank's expression while looking at him, "something's bothering you. I know that look, Dad."
"It's Emma."
"She's fine. It's all sorted out....no private nurses, that's my final say understand. She just needed persuading, something I can do fairly efficiently." Stanley managed a smile.
"Stanley, listen to me, she is not herself." Hank was not amused with his son's sexual innuendos.
Stanley became serious, "Of course she's not. This has been a hell of a week for her. My accident, looking after Holly, the last week of school, her kids leaving tomorrow..."
Hank was feeling a bit impatient and cut him off, "The woman on the cliff, Stan. Who is she? Because I think Emma believes she is some old flame, and it's tearing her up inside."
Stan turned from him briefly, why did he have to bring her up now. Hank managed to get Stan sitting up on the edge of the bed so he could slip on his shorts. "Well, she's not...does that make you feel better."
"Tell Emma that."
"I will."
"Stan, what is going on? Is she the reason you're sending Holly off to Texas with me?" His shorts now successfully on, Stan already was feeling drained from just those few minutes sitting up. Hank helped him lie back down.
He let out a sigh, "Partly. I don't know what's going on, Dad. And if I did, it would be a hell of a lot easier. I just know that I have to keep her safe right now. And I don't think here is safe."
"Then why don't you and Emma come with us? How the hell do you expect to recover in this state you're in?"
"I plan to find out what's going on. And sort this mess out."
"and how do you plan to do that? You can't even sit up for a few minutes without feeling pain. And what about Emma, are you putting her life at risk as well as your own? I don't like this one bit. I have spent most of my life worrying about you. After your mother left and I had to raise you. You had a mind of your own, did whatever you pleased and I am sure not having a mother didn't help matters."
"Dad, we aren't going to go into this now. For god's sake, you did a hell of a job raising me. I got through college didn't I? I got a masters degree....no one thought that would happen."
Hank didn't mean to go off on him, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't like this mess. And was concerned his son was sinking back into that dark hole again. "You got a girl pregnant, you got yourself in trouble with the law, son. You spent 2 years in prison. And then I don't even want to talk about what happened last year. That mess in LA."
"then let's drop the subject." Stanley looked towards the window, for once hoping a nurse would barge in and interrupt this conversation that was just upsetting him.
Hank was now feeling a bit guilty, he didn't mean to upset Stanley. He just wanted some answers. "I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you."
"I know."
"Just answer me one thing, that woman, did you know her in LA...did she have something to do with Melissa's murder?"
"Yes, to both questions. I can't have Holly know this, Dad. She's finally been able to deal with Melissa's death and what happened last year. That's why she can't be here. I don't know what they want with me. But I promise you I will sort it out."
Hank was incredibly distraught by this information. What the hell was his son thinking, dealing with this on his own. "That agent, what was his name...Williams? You should call him. He seemed like a good man. He could help you out, surely."
"I can't do that, Dad...these people are dangerous. I can't be talking to the cops. And it was Roberts."
"I liked him. I mean, I don't know him, but on the phone, he was pleasant."
"Right, Dad. Great guy." He said sarcastically.
"How am I suppose to go back to Texas and not worry?"
"Because it's all a mistake. Whatever they think I did, I didn't. I have been the law abiding citizen you've always hoped I would be dad. Maybe it's 33 years to late, but I finally have seen my evil ways. All I want to do is settle down with Emma and have a real family. I've become boring like you."
Hank smiled at him but was still not convinced, the door swung open and Emma and Holly appeared with an orderly and a wheelchair. Emma overheard his last sentence and smiled at him, " Boring never! And somehow I doubt Hank's boring either." Hank knew she was putting on a brave face again, as she gave him a wink.
The orderly manouvered the wheelchair up to the bed, and with Hank's help got Stanley situated in it. Wheeling down the hallway the nurses stood and smiled to one another, glad to see the backside of him, he couldn't help but comment cynically, "Had a blast, ladies, hope we can do it again soon."
Emma who was walking a few step behind caught up with him, taking hold of his hand, she gave him a scowl, "Can you behave?"
"You can't be talking about me?" he said sarcastically, as he squeezed her hand and lowered his eyebrows innocently.
Hank and Holly had already reached the elevator, and as they approached the doors opened. Once situated inside it made its way down to the main floor, Stanley looked up, Emma and Holly at his side. Emma's hand still in his, her free arm around Holly. This was what it was all about. And he wasn't going to let anything or anyone get in his way for that shot of happiness that was in his grasp.
T
When she finally came to, she found herself in a bed, Rachel and Ben hovering over her, Rachel already lecturing before she could even truly focus, "My god, Emma, I told you, you should have eaten. You aren't taking care of yourself. This is all we need is you in the hospital suffering from exhaustion and starvation."
Emma rubbed her eyes, "You're being melodramatic as usual. I'm okay, I need to go see Stanley." She started to sit up and immediately felt dizzy. Ben caught her before she collapsed again, and gently helped her lay down.
"You're not going anywhere. Your friend, Rachel, here says you haven't been eating." He took a stethoscope and started listening to her heart rate. "so when was the last time you ate?"
"This is silly. There's nothing wrong with me." The sterile metal always felt cold and chilling searching on her skin.
"Oh, come on, Emma, you haven't been feeling well for the last week, sluggish, exhausted, crying over the slightest thing."
Emma gave Rachel a dirty look while Ben listened intentively. Emma couldn't help but notice Ben's expression of interest of Rachel's little reminders and again tried to brush it off. "I just need to eat, I'm sure that' it,"
He took her blood pressure and Rachel's curiosity got the best of her as she leaned over his shoulder, "That's a bit high isn't' it?"
His eyes looked up without movement of the face, wondering how she suddenly qualified her to be an assistant "A bit. But it could be the stress of Stanley's fall which is causing it."
"Of course that's it." Emma wanted this to be over. She didn't like all this fussing.
But Ben wasn't so certain. "Mood swings? And what about nausea? "
Emma could only sit there and mutely listen as Rachel piped in with more answers, "Mood swings... severe, and come to think of it, she has been sick to her stomach, a couple of times."
"Rachel!" Emma wasn't happy with her friends eagerness with this information.
As far as Ben could see, Rachel wasn't helping matters, and she was only making Emma more upset, so he thought of a way to get rid of her for a few minutes, "Rachel, why don't you go to the nurses station and get Emma a glass of iced water."
Rachel eyed him learily. Not wanting to trust him. Then he gave her a smile, and winked at her,
"Okay, I'll go. But you better not keep anything from me, Emma."
As the door shut behind her, Ben turned back to Emma, looking at her seriously, "Emma, how long have you been experiencing mood swings, nausea?"
'I don't know, a few weeks,. It's nothing. I have a lot going on, with the end of school, and things..."
"When was your last period?"
"What?" Emma was sure she heard him wrong.
"Your period. Do you remember when your last period was?"
'I don't keep track anymore, it's always been so regular...." She started to think. Why couldn't she remember when it was? She had always been regular like clockwork, but it did seem like ages ago since her last one. He couldn't possibly be thinking what she thought he was thinking? Could he?
"Could you be pregnant?"
"No....there's no way..."
"Using birth control?" Ben crossed his arms across his chest, and Emma didn't like the way he was looking at her. It was very reminiscent of her visit to the gynecologist when she was in her teens.
"Well, no...but...there's no reason to"
"So you aren't sexually active?" he continued to question.
She felt so stupid. Being lectured by a doctor-type person at her age about this kind of thing was incredibly embarrassing. She closed her eyes tight and turned away from him.
"I take that as a 'yes' you are sexually active, using no birth control. So pregnancy is definitely a possibility."
"I can't be...really..."Emma couldn't believe this discussion. This couldn't be happening to her. Not at this particular time in her life.
Ben didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but by her expression he realized the possibility of being pregnant was something she wouldn't be jumping for joy over. "I take this news wouldn't be welcomed at this time."
She didn't know how to respond and fumbled over words. "I don't want you to think...I mean, it's just....I have two teenagers... this is really unexpected...wow, a baby...at my age. Accidents aren't supposed to happen at my age, my god, what was I thinking?" She started to get agitated and felt on the verge of tears.
Ben put a comforting hand over hers, "Look, I can test you right now. You'll know within minutes. It's no use getting upset about something till you know for sure."
She nodded, "Yeah, that would be probably be a good idea." She wasn't really so sure. She felt frightened and alone. Why did this have to be happening now?
As Rachel came back into the room with the glass of water, Emma was now sitting up, Ben speaking quietly to her, one hand tenderly rested on her shoulder. The conversation was hushed, so Rachel couldn't make out what they were saying. "Hey, this is going to be okay."
He noticed Rachel coming into the room, he quickly slipped the urine sample into his pocket, "I'll go get you something to eat. Don't go anywhere."
"Thanks, Ben." Emma smiled up at him.
"Don't mention it." Ben tenderly smiled back. As he turned to walk out the door, he realized he was going to get a bunch of crap for this. As it was way beyond his job description. But when had that every stopped him before.
As he left, Rachel followed him with her gaze, "What's with that guy? The way he looks at you."
Emma eyed him leaving the room, "He's a paramedic who helped with Stanley on the side of the cliff."
"Well, he sure seems awfully attentive to you."
"He's getting me something to eat. Isn't that what you want...Me to eat?" She raised her voice, obviously angry. Rachel looked concern.
"Emma, what's going on?"
"I'm tired, I'm hungry and I just want to be left alone." She couldn't even face her best friend, slowly drooping her head down, and covering it with both of her hands. What had she every done to deserve this?
The door silently crept open and Josh peeked his head in. He noticed Emma's face in her hands, clearly on the verge of tears.
Rachel turned to see Josh, and she went over to him, giving him a kiss, "Is she okay?" He whispered.
"No, I don't think so."
Josh moved over to her, "Emma, is there anything I can do?"
She managed to smile up at Josh, then took his hand and squeezed it. "Will you go see Stanley? I just need to sit here for awhile, and get my strength back. I don't want him to see me like this, and I hate him to be alone."
"Sure. I was on my way there, when the nurse told me I could find you in here." Rachel couldn't take her eyes of Emma. And knew there was something amiss here. She knew Emma better than anyone. Her facial expressions rated her as a bad actress and she couldn't hide anything from anybody. Josh took Rachel's hand, "Come on, Rachel."
"I should stay, till Ben gets back."
"No." Emma was adamant. "Please, I won't be long. Just don't tell Stanley about this Rachel. I don't want him to worry."
"Don't worry she won't." Josh gave her the evil and eye and took her by the elbow, escorting her out.
As they walked out the door and it silently finished closing on it's own, Emma buried her head in her hands and wept.
* * * * * *
* * *
It started with the clear blue sky and quickly became hazy, and then storm clouds rushed in. A crack of lightening split the ground directly below his feet. He looked down. With a groaning of the soil, it split and crumbled. And he felt the world, as he knew it, slip away. and started falling.and falling.the sensation lasted in vivid detail.
A large gasp of air woke Stanley. Pain flooded his senses. Closing his eyes again he discovered that he lay flat on his back with restrictive splints attached. He lay very still, taking in the sounds of muted activity beyond the half closed door, willing his breath and heartbeat to slow back down to normal. It was slightly disorienting to wake up in this strange bed with an incredible amount of pain and was not his normal routine. Forcing his eyes to cooperate they creaked open to take in all of the details of the ceiling tiles. Yes, that one dropped panel in the far corner was still crooked. He doubted the interior decorator would notice. With a muffled groan he rolled his very stiff neck to get some movement generating. A studious inspection noticed a lot of paper hanging everywhere. It wasn't until they came into focus, he produced a smile, wells as much as he could with the bruises in the way. . Ahhh. This was classic artwork adorning his walls and from a talented one at best. Holly. The last thing he had remembered as he drifted off to sleep was her voice. The warm feeling was short-lived as recollection of danger and not seeing any of his family in the vicinity caused him a little panic. Grabbing the bedrail with his right hand, he forgot that he was unable to move his left leg and began to sit. This caused a shooting pain up his left side and he bit his lip hard, causing it to draw blood. "Shit!" Curses followed his form as he lay back in bed. He closed his eyes as moistness threatening to run down his cheeks. He knew it was part in frustration, realizing he was totally dependent on others to do anything. Again they opened. Trying to focus, he noticed the call button was sitting by his right hand. Eyeing it, he was debating to push it for help as to what kind of crazed nurse it would produce. The blood started to trickle down his chin. He could only manage a half-attempt to wipe it off, as a nurse walked in.
Plump and jolly was the best way to describe what ambled in with a nurses' uniform attached. She was not one of the original 'dirty dozen' of pain nurses and was one he hadn't seen before. Her features of bright and cheery of coming into the room dropped to a blank stare, revealing a noticeable hesitation as she came face to face with the reality that .he was awake. It was as if, the news had gotten out...he wasn't the most ideal patient and no one wanted to be assigned to his room. Still, she was determined to be a professional. "Mr. Jobson, oh, dear, what have you done here?" She took a tissue from the bedside table and wiped his mouth and chin, not realizing she was transgressing his territory boundaries of toleration.
He just did not like to be touched other than his one and only. Immediately grabbing the tissue from her hand, "I can do that myself."
"Of course you can." She had heard about this one. She began to tidy up things around his bed, checked the IV drip and then gave him a smile, not quite sure how she should breach the subject, "So, I would think you might need to use the toilet. Should I get a male nurse to escort you?"
"I can't get up.So how the hell do you expect me go to the bathroom?" he said snidely.
"Well, Mr. Jobson, you don't want a catheter or a bedpan so that means physically going to the toilet. It isn't going to be the most pleasant experience but I don't want you wetting the bed on my shift." She began to pull the sheet down, and he immediately pulled it up with his good hand. All the way to his chin. She shook her head in disbelief, "The others weren't kidding about you and your attitude, were they?"
"Emma will help me." Talking felt like such a strain. It was amazing how something so natural to him now wore him out so quickly.
"Emma? I don't recall a nurse named Emma."
"My girlfriend....she should be here." He continued looking towards the window...where the hell was she?
"Oh, I know who you mean. The one who fainted in the hallway."
"What?" Stanley started to sit up momentarily forgetting and them immediately remembering what the pain felt like.
"You really have to just lie still, Mr. Jobson. We wouldn't want that incision to open up again, now would we."
He hated her condescending voice, and barked back, "Where is she? Emma?" The door swung open and Josh and Rachel opened the door.
The nurse smiled at both of them and looked at Josh, "It would really be a relief to me if you could help him to the bathroom. He won't let any of us near him. All I can say is I pity this Emma woman for having to put up with him day in and day out."
As she walked out Josh smiled at Stanley, "What happened to all the women fawning all over you? Ever since I got here all I've been hearing is what a pain in the ass you've been." He walked over to the bed and lowered the bed rail.
"I'm laid up in a hospital bed and that's what you come here to tell me? Thanks Josh, so much for bedside manner."
Josh smiled, "Well, you got to admit it's a new phenomenon. I'm used to all the women talking about how wonderful you are. And to think they have the opportunity to look after you in bed....and instead they are drawing straws to see who gets to deal with you."
"Very funny, Josh..." His mumbled words were met with a smirk. Josh shooed Rachel out and helped Stan. It was a long a painful process. After the wheel chair and a lot of patience peppered with an occasional curse word, the mission was accomplished.
Stan felt a relief as Josh helped back onto the bed, and he lowered his battered body back onto the firm mattress, closing his eyes. He wasn't about to tell Josh the room was spinning the entire trip. Josh went to the door and let Rachel back in.
The nurse had been waiting in the wings, also and took the opportunity to arrive with his medication. She knew what technique might work with this type of patient. Wait for re-enforcements, namely friends, to help. Handing the medication to Josh and silently pleading with her eyes, he again attained the impossible.
When Stanley opened his eyes Josh was holding the cup containing his medication. Stanley glanced from the nurse to Josh, "Didn't know you were on their side, Josh."
"Hey, Stan, you got to get better for Holly and Em, nobody wants you in here. So just take the damn stuff." Stanley reluctantly took the pill, and Josh offered him a glass of water with a straw.
The nurse smiled triumphantly, "Now I don't want Mr. Jobson agitated. And he really should be resting, so you can only stay for a short while. The medication might make him drowsy and his speech could be slurred." she addressed Josh, Rachel was distracted looking towards the opened door.
Stanley spoke up,"You know, you could address me, Tell me what's going on. But no, you treat me like I'm a child..."
The nurse cut him off, waving a finger at him, "Mr.Jobson, I have just about had enough of you. I can easily escort your friends out this minute and take away your visitor privileges for the afternoon, and make your life miserable."
"Isn't that what you're already doing?"
Josh felt a major confrontation about to erupt, and smiled at the nurse, "He'll behave, you know he's not himself." Josh gave him a pleading look, to just play along, "We promise to not stay long and wear him out." The nurse liked this young man, he seemed sensible, unlike the one glaring at her from his bed.
She headed for the door, Stanley cursing under his breath, when she turned and he faked a smile, "I will be seeing you later, Mr. Jobson. A moment I am anxiously looking forward to."
As she left Josh looked over at Stanley,"my god, where did they find that one?"
But Stanley was now more interested in Rachel. Who hadn't spoken a word since she entered the room. This was so unlike her, she was the one who never lacked something to say. She kept peeking out the door, and was incredibly distracted, "Rachel, where's Emma?"
Rachel still didn't acknowledge him and Josh answered, "I think your dad took the kids to the movies, thought they needed a break."
Stanley didn't wait for him to finish, "the nurse said she fainted. Rachel, what happened?"
"She hasn't been eating. It's nothing." but the way she said it, it didn't sound like nothing to Stanley. "she'll be here in a minute. I am sure she just wanted to freshen up a bit."
Josh tried to make light conversation but stopped mid-sentence when he realized Stan was distracted by something outside. Both Rachel and Josh turned to see what caught his interest. And saw through the half pulled blinds, Emma and Ben, standing facing each other. One hand on her shoulder, the other gently wiping a tear from her cheek.
Ben wiped the tear from her cheek, "This has been a lot for you to deal with, don't make any decisions right now. There's plenty of time. And you know you can always talk to me." He looked up to find an audience from in the room, feeling a bit awkward he removed his hand from her shoulder and smiled at Stanley and the others. "I think someones waiting for you."
Emma turned around. She wasn't really ready to face him. Why did she feel that everything she felt was written all over her face. He would be able to sense something was wrong and she wasn't ready to breach the subject yet. He was staring at her, it wasn't the loving caring gaze that usually radiated from those eyes. And Emma couldn't face them. She quickly averted her eyes from his gaze and then moved away from the window, her hand nervously found the door handle, but felt reluctant to turn it.
Turning back to Ben, she looked up into his eyes, "I don't want him to know. Not now."
Ben wasn't sure this was the best approach, but she obviously had her reasons. He followed her in, wanting to check up on the patient he helped off the cliff face...but this time it seemed like it wasn't just a follow up, routine visit. He was now personally involved in this woman's life. What was he getting himself into?
She took a deep breath and headed over to the bed, gently kissing Stanley's forehead, he was well aware of the good looking man behind her and he took his free hand drawing her face close to his, looking her straight in the eyes, hers inches from his, "I don't get a proper kiss?"
Emma blushed, in front of her friends, "Stanley, not here. And besides, your face is all bruised. I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't hurt me." he drew her face to his and despite the slight amount of pain from the bruising on his left side of his face, he managed to kiss her. Emma was a bit taken aback, it had to hurt as the left side of his face was swollen.but Stanley behaved as if nothing had happened. His kiss was soft, warm and gentle. His right hand stroked her cheek, sensuously. It felt wonderful and for those few seconds as her eyes were closed, it was as if it was yesterday morning, before the accident. He then looked past Emma at the stranger, hoping to get a reaction. She was his. He wanted this guy to know it.
Emma stood back, then looked at Ben feeling embarrassed, she didn't know where to begin but Ben stepped forwards, "Stanley, glad to see you doing so well. I'm Ben, I was on the cliff face with you. You probably don't remember much about that. But I wanted to check in on you." Stan had a vague recollection of men talking to him up on that cliff, but it was fuzzy like everything else. But this guy, for some reason he was rubbing Stan the wrong way. He wasn't here to check up on him, he was checking out Emma. And he didn't like it one bit.
Emma didn't like the look on Stanley's face. Was another outburst about to take place. She moved back to the bed and sat on the edge, taking hold of his hand smiling at him. "He's been wonderful, Stanley. We owe him a lot."
Ben didn't like this kind of admiration. It wasn't called for,he was incredibly modest, "I didn't do anything out of the ordinary." Stanley felt a rage of jealousy inside, and he was desperately trying to hold it back. He was almost glad when the nurse reappeared in the room carrying a beautiful vase of flowers.
"too many people in here. I'm really sorry, but it will have to be 2 at a time." She smiled at Stanley, "You are one popular man, Mr. Jobson. I can see that." She set the vase on his nightstand, "And these..." she took a sniff into the flowers, "aren't they beautiful. The just arrived."
Ben put a hand on Emma's arm, and whispered, "I got to run. I'll keep in touch." Emma smiled at him sweetly, Stanley was not paying one bit of attention to what the nurse was rattling on about in the background. He was more interested in the exchange between Emma and this guy. Ben turned to Stanley, "And you take it easy, get yourself better....you've got a beautiful woman waiting for you, in my book, that's the best medicine there can be."
Stanley furrowed his brow at him, and Ben took this as his cue to leave. There was a brief exchange of eye contact between he and Emma as he sauntered out of the room.
Stanley's gaze went directly to Emma, and she immediately averted her gaze. Awkwardly she went to the flowers and looked in the card, reading the short note. Anything to not having to look at him. She noticed it wasn't signed. She thought about the woman from yesterday and this morning. She couldn't hide her concern from anyone. Rachel moved over to her, "Who are they from? This is a $50 bouquet easily." She then smiled over at Stanley, "One of those La Jolla widows missing your service, no doubt, Stan."
Stanley would have loved to come up with a snide remark, but just couldn't, the medication and the pain...a mixture of the both really had dulled his senses immensely.
Josh turned to her, "Stop it, Rachel."
"I was joking. Trying to lighten things up." He took her by the arm, "I think we'll leave you two for a bit." and he pulled her out of the door.
With Rachel and Josh gone from the room there was some awkward silence. Emma twirled the card between her fingers over and over, when finally Stan broke the silence. "Are you going to read the card? What's it say?"
Emma looked over at him knowing she was horrible at hiding anything."You know the usual."
"Never gotten flowers before, so what is the usual?"
Emma cleared her throat, feeling a lump there. The news she had just received a few minutes ago was still in the forefront of her mind, what was she going to do. There were so many things to think about now and she had no idea what she was going to do about any of them. And then these flowers and the message...she felt numb. she began to read outloud slowly, "Incredibly disheartened with the news of your recent accident, but am informed you are on your way to a full recovery. Resilient as ever. Looking forward to seeing you again very soon...a friend." She looked over at him. Hoping for some kind of answer. Who was this mysterious friend? But he was hiding something. She took a deep breath and turned away from him.
"Never really cared much for flowers. You know, why don't you take them out to the nurses station. I've been such a dick, it might put me back in their good graces."
"Sounds like a good idea." The strain was evident between them. Emma holding back the news that really Stanley had every right to be apart of. This new development with the mysterious friend wasn't helping matters. It was obvious to her he was hiding something. This woman from his past whoever she was. What was she thinking only yesterday, believing that she could trust him. Right now, she felt so betrayed. Why had she been kidding herself about how the past didn't matter. Clearly it did, and it wasn't going to go away, like she had hoped. As every minute slipped by, she felt the less she knew about this man.
* * * * *
* * *
Emma wasn't surprised when she was called into the principals office on Monday. And even less surprised when she walked out without a job. She knew it was coming. Of course it was one more thing she didn't need right now, but she decided to give her 5th grade class the best last week of school ever. Being with the kids distracted her from Stanley's accident, from the baby...but there was Holly. She was taking her dad's hospitalization fairly well, but she had become so reliant on Emma, even at school. She didn't want to play with the kids at recess, she wanted to help Emma in the classroom. She jabbered consistently about how things were going to be when they all moved in to her house. Something that Emma was now having doubts about. Things had gotten so complicated in the last few days.
She ate in her room for lunch. Feeling overwhelmed. Not wanting to face Rachel, because she was sure that the news was out about her losing her job. And she really didn't feel like talking about it. She was going through a cupboard, she figured she might as well start packing up stuff, when Rachel entered the room.
"I won't have you in here sulking."
"Does it look like I'm sulking?" Rachel thought it was weird that Emma seemed to be handling this new development fairly well. "I'm just not in the mood for company."
"Of course I'm an exception." She pulled up a chair, right next to her.
Emma ignored her and continued sifting through the papers, tossing most of it into a trash can next to her.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Emma turned to her slowly, giving her a cynical look, "Okay?! That's an interesting term under the circumstances. Stanley fell off a cliff this weekend, we're looking at possibly 6 weeks before he will be able to get around on his own. I've already had 4 calls from the hospital. He wants to make sure Holly is okay, that I'm keeping an eye on her. The last call was a nurse informing me that they had to remove the phone in his room because he was getting agitated, and he needed to rest. Like I was the reason for his agitation." She sighed then continued, " Oh and let's see, I lost my job, and I'm not sure how I'm going to be feeding my kids in the months to come.. I've had very little sleep. Holly clings to me all night, Melody can't understand why she can't stay at Stanley's with me, why she can't miss school. She says I am being unsympathetic to her needs. That Stanley's accident has deeply effected her. She acts like he's her father."
Rachel took it all in and was amazed she didn't even break stride, "Well, he's been like one to her. A month ago, you would have given anything for her to feel that way. Why the sudden change?"
She didn't want to get into any of this right now, "Look I'm tired. I still have a class to teach...life goes on....and somehow I'll get through. There isn't anything I can do about those things..." She thought about the baby. How could she possibly take care of a baby.....she could barely take care of herself and the two kids she already had. Rachel watched her curiously. Wanting to know what was going through her mind.
"Maybe you should stay at your own place tonight. Get a good nights sleep. I am sure Hank can handle Holly for the evening. As I recall, your buddy Ben was pretty adamant about you getting some rest and eating properly."
"Holly needs me right now."
"and what about your own family."
"They'll be fine,Melody's just being overdramatic. Holly lost her mother just last year, it means a lot to her, me being there. She doesn't want to admit she's afraid, but she is. She's afraid of losing him. If I can be of some comfort to her than that's what I'll do." She took a breath and then refocused on the cupboard, " Of course I think Stanley has gotten her hopes up, she wants me to move in today and be her mother. I'm not so sure I can live up to these dreams of hers."
Rachel got off her chair and kneeled on the floor next to Emma, placing a hand on her shoulder, causing Emma to turn and look at her. "Wait one second. You never said he asked you to marry him."
"He hasn't. But he did ask me to move in." Emma said it so nonchalantly, she continued with her rummaging.
"Well....Emma that's something."
"Don't, Rachel...you don't know anything. Things are pretty shit for me right now, okay."
"I realize that. But at the end of the day, Stanley loves you."
Emma abruptly stopped sorting thought the papers and looked at Rachel seriously, "Does he?"
"We are not going down this road again, Emma. Of course he does."
Emma felt herself losing the cool composure she had been putting on all day. . She had held herself together this long and she kept telling herself she wasn't going to start crying. Emma took a deep breath trying desperately to hold back the tears.. But it was no use, burying her face in her hands and she began to sob. Rachel put a comforting arm around her.
"I know you're worried about Stanley. But there's something else isn't there?"
"I lost my job, Rachel." she mumbled through her hands.
"I'm not stupid, something was going on yesterday, Emma. You and that paramedic. You're keeping something from me."
"Oh, that's good, I'm having an affair with a guy I met 2 days ago. Come on Rachel."
"So what is it? Are you sick?" Emma couldn't look at her, leaving her face covered by her hands.
Rachel worriedly began to review her best friends symptoms of crying spurts, fainting and throwing up. Her cousin Rebecca had very similar symptoms a few months ago.thinking it was the flu, only to be told....oh, no, could Emma be pregnant? Putting tow and two together, she couldn't contain herself. "Oh, my god.....you're pregnant. Emma, are you pregnant?"
Silence was all she got from the crotched body, still sitting on the floor. "you are." Rachel seemed ecstatic, "That is so wonderful. My god, Emma....."
Emma wished she could be as happy as her friend seemed to be. Ever since she had found out she seemed to be slipping deeper and deeper into a funk. She found herself thinking about things that would never have crossed her mind 17 years ago when she found out about the coming arrival of Kyle. And she didn't like the thoughts she was having.
Rachel continued, "You haven't told him, have you? What are you waiting for? I can't think of better medicine for him right now."
"I haven't told him because I don't know what I'm going to do about it."
"It? Emma, it's Stanley's baby you're carrying. And what do you mean what are you going to do about it? You're going to marry the guy and have his baby. There's nothing to think about."
If only it could be so easy. "Oh, right, he'll marry me now...I forgot. Get pregnant, you get the guy." she said cynically.
"You don't have any doubt that he wouldn't, surely?" she questioned.
"I'm sure he would, Rachel. Stanley does the right thing. He married his first wife when she was pregnant and look how that ended up."
"You are not his first wife. You haven't tried to trap him."
"I haven't decided if I want this baby, Rachel." As she said it she stood up and looked at the clock. Her class would be heading in the room at any minute.
Rachel was shocked, "I didn't hear you just say that, Emma."
"I'm afraid you did. I have had my babies. 2 of them. Maybe I want to do something else with my life other than be a mother."
"You can't even be seriously thinking about an abortion. You love kids, Emma."
"I'm not going to talk about this with you. This is my decision." She nervously began to shuffle papers, a few of them dropped to the floor. That word, abortion...it had been popping into her head all day, and now Rachel actually saying it made the whole thing seem so real and frightening. Was she really contemplating abortion?
Rachel was incredibly upset, she picked up the few dropped papers and placed them in Emma's hands, facing her. She couldn't believe Emma was thinking about abortion. It was just so unlike her, Emma's eyes met hers and Rachel flew into her hard, "And what about Stanley's right to know? What a bout a father's rights?"
Emma threw the papers on the desk and stood her ground, "I swear Rachel if you say anything to him about this, our friendship will be over."
"You're not going to tell him?"
"Not now. God, Rachel, why can't you just leave me alone. You don't have any idea what I'm going through right now. "
Neither one of them saw Holly approach the classroom, standing in the doorway. She didn't like the confrontation she was witnessing. Seeing Emma so upset. She started thinking about her dad..and she panicked. Something must have happened. She felt her heart starting to race and her breathing began to quicken. Emma heard the odd noise coming from behind her and saw a panic stricken Holly bracing herself against the doorway.
Emma ran to her side, "Holly, sweetie, what is it? Are you okay?"
"Something's happened to my dad hasn't it? He's gotten worse, hasn't he?" her voice quivering.
Emma was now kneeling and took Holly in her arms, "Oh, no...nothing's happened to your dad."
"But you're so upset. You've been crying."
Quickly Emma responded with something Holly would except. "I want him to be better today, just like you do. That's all... I want to be able to call the shop and he'll pick up the phone...I want to see him play with Scrap in the backyard...this is just a hard time for all of us. But he's going to be fine, okay. Believe me when I tell you that."
She managed a smile, "I want him to come home too."
"Well, if the nurses have their way, it will be sooner than we think....if he continues to be so cranky and fowl mouthed to them, I'm afraid they'll kick him out."
Holly giggled, "He is cranky isn't he?"
"Just a little bit." Kids began to file into the classroom, past them. With a reassuring push, Holly headed over to her desk and Emma stood up, Rachel laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Please don't do anything stupid."
Emma didn't say anything and moved over to the whiteboard and began to write down an assignment. Rachel left quietly, looking back at her best friend. She had to believe that Emma would think this through and make the right decision.
* * * * *
* *
Hank spent the better part of the day with Stanley. He witnessed his agitation of being bed ridden, the pain was the least of his worries, and his continuous frantic phone calls to Emma about Holly's safety were disturbing, Hank left the room briefly to speak to the doctor, in hopes of being enlightened about Stanley's behavior. The physician was sure it was just the annoyance of being so dependent on others. He didn't mean to be gone as long as he was, but they began talking about the insertion of the pin in his arm, that was to take place that afternoon. Stanley was still not keen on the nurses and became irate if there wasn't someone there with him.
Stanley was just about to pick up the receiver when the nurse entered the room. He gave her the evil eye and continued to dial, as she moved closer to the bed to take his blood pressure. "do you have to do that now? I have to make an important phone call." Stanley pressed buttons so quickly, and got a busy signal, "damn it." he cursed at the phone, "Emma, get off the frigging phone."
The nurse quickly grabbed the phone away from him. He wasn't prepared for this and his reflexes were slow. The nurse smiled triumphantly. Once again she was the victor. She didn't know why there had been so many complaints about dealing with this man. She was having no problems whatsoever.
"Dammit! Give me that phone back!"
"Mr. Jobson. You're blood pressure's up and I've been ordered to do what needs to be done to get your vitals back under control!" She didn't mean to be so forceful but she knew this was the only way to deal with his kind. His surgery to finalize and insert the pin was due to take place later this afternoon and the doctor would not be happy if this outburst upset the O.R. Schedule. He had a pressing golf game the following day, and had specifically scheduled a late time so he could hit a few balls at the driving range.
Stanley was determined, the phone cord was the tenuous connection to his life outside this room and the walls were already starting to feel closed in. He hung on with ever last bit of strength he could muster. . At the other end of the line was a more determined and (unfortunately for Stan) a more experienced nurse that raised 5 boys on her own. She narrowed her gaze, as she really didn't want to rip the cord out of his hand.
"Mr. Jobson. Will you please. let go. of the cord." It was phrased as a command, not a request.
"I need to call Emma. You don't seem to understand how important it is I talk to her." He intended for her to be intimidated by the bruised infused glare and his one-handed death grip on the taunt phone line.
The head of the department RPN, busily examining an armload of reports, crossed the open doorway, hesitated and reversed to take a second look. "Louise." She calmly refrained from smiling. "Do you need any help?"
"No honey." She answered steadfastly while her eyes remained locked on their target. "Mr. Jobson will be cooperating with me very soon, one way or the other."
"Yes, I assume he will, won't he?" Now the smile was filtering through accompanied with a knowing twinkle in her eye. Inserting a worn pen through her hair perched on an ear, the armload of reports gained her full attention again and she continued on her way.
Louise's eyes never left his, nor the stretched cord pulled from here to eternity. Reaching into a deep pocket, out came a pair of authenticated standard medical issued scissors, ready for any type of an emergency situation. This was just deemed such a situation.
He blinked as the empty line whished back to limply thump his right bicep. Holding up the handset with the dangling cord attached, he was numbed with the unexpected action. There was a load of anxiety starting to tumble into the nervous system. How in the heck could he get a hold of anyone now?
"How the hell am I suppose to make my call now? I'm int tiled to a phone in my room." She wasn't listening as she reached into her other handy dandy pocket and pulled out her ever present one-shot. She opted for this mini stainless steel pistol grip syringe with the clear see through tube. It was always there in case of emergencies. Be prepared. That was the motto.
Stanley didn't like the look of that thing whatsoever, "What do you think you are doing? I don't need that, I told you before. I have to be alert, you don't seem to understand...what could happen to my family." The IV tube in one hand, she jabbed the thin needle and inserted a safe portion of cc's into the v-neck insertion sleeve. Letting it drop she read off the vitals on the monitor that had become even more agitated as the session wore on.
His head hurt, this damn useless arm lying straight out at his side was pulsing and he could hardly draw in a deep breath. The outside lifeline had just been cut and now he had been given something, to calm him down...no doubt. Full of frustration, he turned his head toward nurse Louise, intending to pin her to the wall with a death glare.
It wasn't working.
"Now, Mr. Jobson. I want you to take a deep breath and try to count to 20."
"You don't get it, do you? My family could be in danger I need to talk to Emma."
"I'm afraid this is in your best interest, Mr. Jobson. You will thank me in the end." She stepped closer to test his response.
"Somehow I doubt that. And what the fuck do you know about my best interests under the circumstances." Prickles of sweat broke over his brow. He could feel his heart beat clear to the end of his busted arm's fingers. They were really starting to thump now, the same as his toes down his left leg.
"You're not to be calling anyone until the doctor gives you any clearance to use this phone. This kind of behavior is decremental to your recovery." She was able to get within arm's reach of him now. He wouldn't be putting up a fight much longer.
"You don't understand." It was becoming apparent the words were difficult to get out. "Holly." He couldn't support the weight of the handset anymore and let it come to rest on his chest. "Holly. she's." He was feeling very flushed and sick to his stomach.
"Holly. Is she your daughter?" Louise had vaguely heard of some of the family.
His nose tingled and his tongue was going numb. "She's .in. danj.rr." It came out in a whisper. He closed his eyes as the back of his jaws tingled. That was an obvious sign of foreign matter coming up the tubes. He didn't think he could handle what was going to happen.
"Mr. Jobson, you've got to listen to me and try to relax. If you don't relax, the nausea your experiencing will only get worse." She gentled released the remaining phone part from his hand. "Relax now. Count to 20."
Louise felt a slight breeze as the door opened, she turned to find Stanley's father entering, a worried look crossed his brow. "Is everything alright? Surely it's too early to be sedating him for the surgery."
"Everything is fine, Mr. Jobson. He was just a little agitated. His blood pressure incredibly high." Hank noticed the cut phone line, and receiver now sitting on the bedside table.
Stanley looked up at his Dad, trying to speak with no words coming out. Hank moved to the side of the bed, "Don't fight it, son. Listen to the nurse. Everything is going to be alright. Just relax." He really had no choice. If he didn't, he was going to lose his cookies right here and now. With a slight nod of his head, he took a shallow breath and held it a few seconds longer. Breathing deep was a lost cause. It hurt like hell. Laying there trying to will the anxiety away, he felt a cool damp washcloth rest on his forehead. He'll only keep his eyes shut a few more seconds until his stomach settled. Then he was going to give her a piece of his mind.
Much to the nursing staff's delight, Stanley remained out cold all the way up to his surgery. Of course it had the opposite effect on Holly and Emma, who arrived at the hospital after school, only to find him in a comatose state. It was obvious of their dissapointment as they reached Stanley's room just as Hank was leaving it.
"I'm afraid he's out for the rest of the afternoon. They're suppose to be preparing him for surgery very soon." Emma looked past him, gazing on Stanley who looked incredibly peaceful. After this morning's phone calls she couldn't help but be a bit concerned. But the sight of him asleep now was such a contrast.
Hank was very aware of Emma's concern, but she sure put on a good front for Holly. She smiled down at Holly, "Well, at least he's not throwing daggers at the nurses." Holly managed a giggle. Hank loved the rapor they seemed to have together. He knew all Holly wanted next to her dad's recovery was having this woman move in with them and be her mother. But he sensed some uneasiness in Emma yesterday and it was still evident in her demeanor today.
Holly tugged on her grandpa's arm, gazing up into his eyes,"I can be really quiet and I promise I won't disturb him. Please let me sit with him, grandpa?" she pleaded.
"Go ahead, but quiet as a mouse and don't let the nurses see you."
Holly quietly entered his room, and Hank and Emma watched as she pulled up a chair and happily sat by the side of his bed watching him sleep.
Hank smiled and turned to Emma, "She seems to be doing okay."
Emma just nodded, not really listening.
"Doctor says he's looking at Thursday for his release. I'm going to need to get back to Texas by Saturday. Stanley's going to need someone to look after him."
She slowly turned to him, "I can't do that Hank. I have my own kids to look after. It's not that I don't want to, but.."
Kyle had told Hank last night that his dad was taking him and Melody to England next week. Something was up with Emma that was for sure. "Well, I'm sure I can arrange for a live in nurse for awhile, till he's back on his feet, although I think he might have a major fit about that."
"He can't always have his way, Hank."
He desperately wanted to question her, why was she behaving like this? But decided against it. She needed some time.
"He wants me take Holly back to Texas."
This was the first she had heard of this plan, "I'm surprised Holly didn't mention it to me."
"Because she doesn't know." He looked through the window at his granddaughter and son, knowing she wasn't going to be happy about this plan one bit. "Stanley is extremely worried about her. He thinks it would be best for her."
"Well, I'm sure Stanley knows best." she said cynically. She didn't want to get upset but she felt herself becoming agitated, she turned away from the window nervously looking around, then back to Hank, "You know, I think I'm going to go down to the cafeteria. Holly's in good hands. I just need some time to myself."
Hank knew how difficult all this was for her, but she was holding something back. That was obvious. This wasn't the woman he had met a few days ago. The one that had a sparkle in her eye when she gazed at his son. He took a deep sigh and decided to let it go for now. He was glad Stanley was asleep so he didn't have to witness her mood. He opened the door of the room and joined his granddaughter.
* * * * *
* *
Thursday was actually the last day of school and on Friday Josh brought his truck over and helped Emma load up all of her things. Rachel and Josh said they would get the stuff back to her house, since she had promised Stanley she would be at the hospital as soon she could. The doctor hadn't yet given him the green light on his release. And Emma had stayed away from the topic.
Emma showed up just as the doctor was rattling off what Stanley would need to do for a full recovery, and he then handed Hank a list of reliable private nurses. Emma stood at the back of the room, not really listening to what the doctor was saying. Catching a word here and there. Holly was sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked at his dad, "You can throw that away. I have Emma." He gave her a smile, and she couldn't face him. "Emma?" he questioned as she walked over to the window, her back to him.
The doctor noticed the tension, "Well, Mr. Jobson, I will get those release forms started." He had no intention of being apart of this lovers quarrel.
Stanley turned to his dad, "Take Holly outside." Holly looked at her dad, recognizing the tone of his voice. She quickly got off the bed and followed Hank out of the door.
Once the room was empty he spoke softly, "I want you to stay with me, I thought that was clear."
Emma turned to him, not wanting to get upset, "You never asked me."
"I didn't think I had to. I can't have a nurse, Emma. I don't want a nurse, I want you." He wasn't angry, there seemed to be a kind of desperation in his voice,
She felt horrible. She had been so wrapped up in her own problems the last few days, that she hadn't really thought about Stanley being released and how he was going to cope. She recalled the other day, the attack on the nurse. The frequency of his nightmares since he was in the hospital. His growing concern for her safety as well as Holly's.
She moved closer to the bed, his right hand reaching out for her. The desperation in his eyes, she slowly extended her hand and his fingers wrapped around hers, squeezing them tight. "I'm hardly a nurse. How do I know how to look after you, take care of your needs."
"There you have no problem." He smiled wickedly at her. Or tried to anyhow, he was still experiencing a substantial amount of pain in the left side of his face.
"And there's a major reason why I shouldn't be looking after you. You should have someone like Louise. Someone hard nose to boss you around and keep you in line." At the mention of her name Stanley grimace.
"How could you wish the likes of her on me? She doesn't have one caring bone in her body. She likes to torture and administer pain every chance she gets."
Emma couldn't help but smile, then he continued, "I have faith that you can keep me in line.....and I promise to be good."
"And what is your definition of good, Stanley? The doctor has been reluctant all week to send you home, because you disobey orders and have only caused a delay in your recovery."
"It will be different at home with you. Come on, give me a chance...if after a week if you feel it's too much, I'll let you hire a nurse....It just makes sense you staying with me. Your kids will be gone, Holly is off to Texas with Dad. "
"I just wish you didn't assume everything."
Stanley noticed she hadn't once looked him in the eye and now she was looking down at her feet. He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand, "This hasn't been fair on you, I know. Your kids are off to England, and you get stuck with a crotchety invalid. I was hoping this weekend I'd be moving you into the house."
"There's plenty of time for that."
"You're dissapointed, I know that. Everything was going fine...." He thought about Ginger's appearance on the cliff top, and closed his eyes tight. Emma noticed the agitation in his voice and looked at him, his eyes closed tight, as if he was experiencing more pain.
"Stanley, are you okay? Maybe I should get a nurse."
"No." he opened his eyes and gave her a cockeyed smile, "Lay down next to me, so I can hold you."
"You're crazy. There would be a nurse in here in a flash, Stanley."
"I don't care. I'm getting released today." His thumb now sensuously stroking her hand, Emma sighed. He knew he had her, "Go close the blinds." She looked down at him, as he let go of her hand, and gave her a little nudge. She slowly walked to the window and peered out to see a group of nurses at the nurses station, chatting and going over patients charts. Hank and Holly nowhere to be seen. Emma assumed he had taken her to the cafeteria. She closed the blinds, and then headed back to his bed. She released the safety bar and gently climbed on the bed laying on her left side, his good arm around her shoulders. Being able to touch her again, caused an excitement in him, which he wasn't quite prepared for. Despite the pain in turning his head, he faced her, smelling her hair, gently kissing her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks. Emma wanted to cry. She missed him. She could never deny what she felt for him. For those few moments feeling him next to her, all her problems seemed to vanish. His hand went to her hair, and he found her lips. She voluntarily parted them and Stanley's tongue gently found hers. Emma's hand resting on his chest, began to gently stroke him. She had no idea what she was doing, but she felt incredibly turned on. She pulled back his sheet, and her hand found it's way down his chest, Stanley's breathing began to quicken as her fingers found what they were looking for, he unexpectedly responded with a gasp and the door swung open.
"What the hell is going on in here?" a voice bellowed and Emma quickly jumped up, the movement from her quick departure of the bed caused the jarring of his leg and Stanley let out a muffled cry. Emma moved far away from the bed, towards the window as the Louise's beady eyes blazed into her. She then turned back to Stanley.
"I've come to get you dressed."
"Like hell you will, Emma can do it." Stanley muttered.
"I'm sure she can. It seems Emma can do a lot of things." The nurse laid a change of clothes on his bed. Hank had brought him a loose pair of shorts and a tshirt. "Well, I will leave you to it." She pulled open the blinds, "and I think it's best we leave these open from now on. I can't say that I'm not glad you are leaving Mr. Jobson, but you have made my shift much more exciting that is for sure." She gave Emma a wink, and left the room.
Stanley laughed despite the pain it caused, Emma feeling incredibly self conscious, slowly found Stanley's joy contagious, smiled and then stifled a giggle. "So I guess you'll stay at the house." Stanley commented.
"I guess so." Stanley smiled triumphantly, as the door opened and Hank and Holly entered. They couldn't help but notice that all seemed fine between the two of them again. And Holly climbed up on the bed next to her dad.
"Grandpa says I can ride everyday all day if I want."
Holly hadn't been completely convinced going to Texas was in her best interests, but Hank seemed to have just sold her. And Stanley was glad. He didn't want her to go away frightened or worried about him. He turned to Hank, as he toussled Holly's hair, "Don't spoil her too much , Dad."
"That's what grandad's are for right, Holly." Holly smiled back at her grandpa and then back at her dad., nodding her head.
"And I don't have to worry about you. Because Emma is going to take good care of you. But I bet you'll miss me."
"Every minute." He looked past Holly at Emma, and gave her a wink. Emma could help but notice the change in him. Of course he was anxious to get home, but the angry paranoid Stanley that had existed over the past few days seemed gone. She was well aware of the calming effect she seemed to have on him. The comfort she tended to be able to give to him. But it wasn't going to be an easy few weeks. There were a lot of issues that needed to be addressed once he was feeling better. They both had secrets now, and Emma realized she was doing to him what she had accused him of on more than one occasion. She was keeping things from him. Her losing her job and more important the child that she was carrying, her hand automatically went to her abdomen and rubbed it gently. She was totally oblivious to the conversation in the room, when she heard her name. She turned to look at the others. Hank had obviously been joking about something, chuckling and smiling her way. But she had no clue what. Stanley saw the far off gaze, her hand resting on her abdomen. A look of slight concern covered his face.
Trying to recover from the awkward situation, she moved towards the bed and picked up the clothes...handing them to Hank, "Help your son get dressed. I think we're all a bit anxious to get home," She helped Holly off the bed and leaned over kissing Stanley. Holly waited at the door.
Stanley didn't let Emma go so easily, holding onto her hand, "you said home."
"Actually, I meant my home...I have to help the kids with their packing. Their plane leaves at 9 tomorrow."
"Oh..... so you aren't coming back to the house tonight?" he sounded dissapointed.
"For awhile, yes...but I want to be with my kids tonight. I've kind of been neglecting them this week. You understand right? I mean, you've gotten your way, and I'm sure Hank and Holly can look after you for one night."
"I'd just prefer you."
"Let Holly play nurse for 24 hours. She's dying to."
"I'm being a selfish bastard."
"Kind of."
Holly moved over to them and grabbed Emma's hand, "Come on, stop making lovey dovey eyes at each other, you can do that loads later."
"She has a point" he smiled. He thought about the next couple weeks at the house alone with Emma. Of course his injuries were the furthest thing thing from his mind.
Emma headed out the door and Hank moved over to the bedside, carefully drawing back the sheet and helping Stanley to sit up to remove his hospital gown. He undid the fastenings on the back, and then slipped it off his shoulders. Bruises were covered everywhere. Most contained a deep healing purple and more than likely to change over the coming weeks. As he slipped the Tshirt over his arm in the cast, Stanley grimaced. He was still feeling a lot of discomfort, from all the bruising. Once the Tshirt was on, Stanley noticed Hank's expression while looking at him, "something's bothering you. I know that look, Dad."
"It's Emma."
"She's fine. It's all sorted out....no private nurses, that's my final say understand. She just needed persuading, something I can do fairly efficiently." Stanley managed a smile.
"Stanley, listen to me, she is not herself." Hank was not amused with his son's sexual innuendos.
Stanley became serious, "Of course she's not. This has been a hell of a week for her. My accident, looking after Holly, the last week of school, her kids leaving tomorrow..."
Hank was feeling a bit impatient and cut him off, "The woman on the cliff, Stan. Who is she? Because I think Emma believes she is some old flame, and it's tearing her up inside."
Stan turned from him briefly, why did he have to bring her up now. Hank managed to get Stan sitting up on the edge of the bed so he could slip on his shorts. "Well, she's not...does that make you feel better."
"Tell Emma that."
"I will."
"Stan, what is going on? Is she the reason you're sending Holly off to Texas with me?" His shorts now successfully on, Stan already was feeling drained from just those few minutes sitting up. Hank helped him lie back down.
He let out a sigh, "Partly. I don't know what's going on, Dad. And if I did, it would be a hell of a lot easier. I just know that I have to keep her safe right now. And I don't think here is safe."
"Then why don't you and Emma come with us? How the hell do you expect to recover in this state you're in?"
"I plan to find out what's going on. And sort this mess out."
"and how do you plan to do that? You can't even sit up for a few minutes without feeling pain. And what about Emma, are you putting her life at risk as well as your own? I don't like this one bit. I have spent most of my life worrying about you. After your mother left and I had to raise you. You had a mind of your own, did whatever you pleased and I am sure not having a mother didn't help matters."
"Dad, we aren't going to go into this now. For god's sake, you did a hell of a job raising me. I got through college didn't I? I got a masters degree....no one thought that would happen."
Hank didn't mean to go off on him, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't like this mess. And was concerned his son was sinking back into that dark hole again. "You got a girl pregnant, you got yourself in trouble with the law, son. You spent 2 years in prison. And then I don't even want to talk about what happened last year. That mess in LA."
"then let's drop the subject." Stanley looked towards the window, for once hoping a nurse would barge in and interrupt this conversation that was just upsetting him.
Hank was now feeling a bit guilty, he didn't mean to upset Stanley. He just wanted some answers. "I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you."
"I know."
"Just answer me one thing, that woman, did you know her in LA...did she have something to do with Melissa's murder?"
"Yes, to both questions. I can't have Holly know this, Dad. She's finally been able to deal with Melissa's death and what happened last year. That's why she can't be here. I don't know what they want with me. But I promise you I will sort it out."
Hank was incredibly distraught by this information. What the hell was his son thinking, dealing with this on his own. "That agent, what was his name...Williams? You should call him. He seemed like a good man. He could help you out, surely."
"I can't do that, Dad...these people are dangerous. I can't be talking to the cops. And it was Roberts."
"I liked him. I mean, I don't know him, but on the phone, he was pleasant."
"Right, Dad. Great guy." He said sarcastically.
"How am I suppose to go back to Texas and not worry?"
"Because it's all a mistake. Whatever they think I did, I didn't. I have been the law abiding citizen you've always hoped I would be dad. Maybe it's 33 years to late, but I finally have seen my evil ways. All I want to do is settle down with Emma and have a real family. I've become boring like you."
Hank smiled at him but was still not convinced, the door swung open and Emma and Holly appeared with an orderly and a wheelchair. Emma overheard his last sentence and smiled at him, " Boring never! And somehow I doubt Hank's boring either." Hank knew she was putting on a brave face again, as she gave him a wink.
The orderly manouvered the wheelchair up to the bed, and with Hank's help got Stanley situated in it. Wheeling down the hallway the nurses stood and smiled to one another, glad to see the backside of him, he couldn't help but comment cynically, "Had a blast, ladies, hope we can do it again soon."
Emma who was walking a few step behind caught up with him, taking hold of his hand, she gave him a scowl, "Can you behave?"
"You can't be talking about me?" he said sarcastically, as he squeezed her hand and lowered his eyebrows innocently.
Hank and Holly had already reached the elevator, and as they approached the doors opened. Once situated inside it made its way down to the main floor, Stanley looked up, Emma and Holly at his side. Emma's hand still in his, her free arm around Holly. This was what it was all about. And he wasn't going to let anything or anyone get in his way for that shot of happiness that was in his grasp.
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