I went to Peyton's house.
"Lucas! I went to your house after school like you said but there was no one there. It was wicked clean though, did you have a maid service come?"
"No, Keith must have cleaned."
I didn't tell her about anything that happened with child services. I wanted her to think I was as normal as possible and having Child Services beat down my door didn't really portray "normal."
She invited me in and we sat down on the couch. "Now what?" She asked me.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Brooke is really worried about you." I looked away. I really didn't want to think about Brooke. I wanted alcohol.
"Do you have anything to drink?" I asked, interrupting her spiel on, "you won't answer her calls or answer the door when she comes over."
"Nothing hard, if that's what you mean. My dad doesn't exactly leave the house stocked when he leaves his 16 year old home alone."
I didn't say anything, but I still wasn't making eye contact.
"Luke, this whole alcohol thing...are you okay?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You're starting to worry me a little."
"Who made you the mom?" I snapped.
She looked hurt and stood up, not facing me.
"Peyton, I'm sorry."
"No, if you're going to be a jerk than you can leave."
"I'm sorry," I repeated. I reached for her arm, but she pulled it away.
"We have to tell Brooke," she finally spoke.
"No, we don't."
"If you're not going to tell her with me, I'll do it alone. But Luke," she paused an shook her head, "you're turning into a real ass."
"Fine." I said, my temper flaring again. I took my jacket off the back of the couch and left. She didn't come after me.
"Lucas?" Whitey called when I stumbled in the door.
"Yeah," I said.
"Where did you go?" He shook his head before I could answer, "Nevermind, don't answer that. Come here."
He started walking into the depths of his house. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was intruding. We stopped in a room that had obviously not been touched since the 1800s. His wife must have decorated it. There were lilies on the walls and the bedspread was a homemade quilt. My duffle bag was on the quilt.
"This is your room," he told me. He looked around the room like he was seeing it for the first time. Maybe he really hadn't seen it since the 1800s. Or at least the 80s.
"There are towels in the closet if you want to shower. You can eat anything in the kitchen. Keith says you can cook. Practice starts at three pm sharp. I expect you to be there."
"Thanks Coach," I said. He nodded. "No really, I mean it, thanks for not making me stay with Dan."
"Dan would pressure you at basketball and you would buckle. I can't lose you. You're a decent player."
"Thanks... I guess," I was pretty sure there was a compliment in there.
He studied me, and then shook his head and laughed, "Jesus, Lucas. Keith has no idea what he's getting himself into."
"I think he does. We've been living together for the past month."
"Yeah, he told me about your previous drunken nights. Smart not to pull that tonight, Scott."
I looked at my shoes.
"Oh, just go to bed, Scott. I'll talk to you at practice."
He turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway. "Lucas, don't go see Keith. If Child Services knew you were seeing each other, they would not react well, don't risk it."
I nodded. "You think he'll get me back, though, right?"
Whitey just shrugged, "I really hope so, Luke."
"By the way," he said. "I saw Haley today, she is in hysterics. You won't return her calls."
Keith had been answering all the calls and taking messages for me. I hadn't looked at them yet. He told me that she came by a few times, but I was either sleeping or not up for visitors.
"I'll call her tomorrow, thanks Coach."
He nodded and went to bed.
As thankful as I was not to have to stay with Dan, I didn't want to stay with Whitey. I felt like I was intruding on his life. I liked him being my coach and nothing more. This whole father figure thing wasn't working for me.
I woke up hungry. I think it was the first time I had an actual desire to eat something since mom died. Keith made me eat at least a sandwich everyday, but if he didn't practically force feed me, I wouldn't have eaten. I explored the kitchen, opening several doors looking for a pantry. It felt so wrong, searching Coach's house. I got out all the ingredients to make an omelet. I made a mental note to call mom and ask her why hers tasted better than mine. Then I realized she was gone. I wasn't hungry anymore. My stomach ached again. I sat down on the couch and watched TV, but Whitey didn't have cable, only the broadcast channels. I wasn't up for Lindsay/Megan/Jessica's pregnancy or the fact that she thought the father of her baby was in a coma, but would later return with amnesia. I shut the TV off.
It was 10:00. I considered going back to sleep, like I had been doing at home, but I felt so unproductive. I needed to talk to Dan, but the thought of seeing him made my stomach hurt more. I needed Keith.
Ignoring Whitey's orders, I went to see Keith. I walked to the shop and looked at all the cars. They were all regulars, cars I had once worked on. No Martha Lansing, Child Services. I heard Keith's voice. He was yelling, "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! That bastard! Once he knows I want something, he'll do anything in his power to stop it!"
Who was he talking to? I peered through the little window, but I still couldn't see anything. It was Whitey's voice that answered, "Keith," he said soothingly, trying to get my uncle to stop yelling. It was no use.
"That idiot has stopped me from getting anything good since we were kids! He got the car I wanted, the job I wanted, the girl I wanted..."
Whitey must have looked confused because Keith explained, "I liked Karen long before he started dating her. But he heard me talking to one of my friends, and he started dating her the next day. I thought she was too good for me, I mean she was a beautiful cheerleader with an amazing personality. We could talk for hours, and she made me feel so happy. He started dating her the next day." He hit something. "Bastard!"
"Keith, there's still hope."
"He said no, Whitey. He has to give up his rights for me to keep Lucas."
"The kid can still live with you if you're not his legal parent."
"You know what he told me?" Keith asked.
"I talked to him this morning and I thought Nathan was at his mom's house, but when Nathan walked in the room he said, 'I need at least one good basketball player.'" Keith shook his head. "I can't give Luke to him. He's trying to get to Nathan. He pisses off me, Nathan and Lucas in one shot. He's mad at me."
"Why?"
"Cause I almost got the girl in the end," he smiled.
"I'll talk to Dan," Whitey volunteered.
"No, he hates you, you'll just be incentive to why he should say no."
"Well, you could always fight him in court. How bad do you want to keep this kid?"
"Whatever it takes. I'm not losing him, Whitey. That kid is the closest thing I have to family, and I'm all he has, too. No one's taking him away from me, especially not Danny."
I smiled to myself. I didn't want to hear anymore. Hearing what Keith was going to have to do to keep me was going to make me feel bad, and I didn't want to deal with that at the moment. I went to see Dan. At least I wouldn't feel bad taking my anger out on him.
"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in," Dan said when I knocked on the door to his office. He was looking up carfax reports and doing other car salesmen type paperwork.
I said nothing. I was trying not to explode. If I could have my way, I would have taken the little Dodge truck gold paperweight and hit him hard over the head with it. That would have taken care of him, I've seen CSI.
"What do you want, Lucas?"
"I've never asked you for anything in my life," I said.
"That's why I asked what you want."
"Sign the papers, Dan."
"What papers?"
"You know damn well what papers. Keith talked to you this morning. The adoption papers."
"Oh," he said, as if he was just now comprehending. Yeah, right, like he would forget his brother asking to adopt his son. "those papers."
"Yeah, those papers. You've never been any kind of father to me, why don't you just sign the papers?"
"You want to be raised by my brother?"
"Raised? I'm grown already. I want Keith to adopt me. And I want you to give up your rights and stay away from me, as you've done beautifully for my entire life."
"And why should I do that?"
"This can be the one thing you ever do for me...ever."
"And why would I want to do something for you?"
"Because I'm your son! Dammit, Dan, I don't care if you want to have nothing to do with me. Fine. Don't. I'll make it really easy. Sign the papers and I'll be out of your life forever."
He said nothing.
"If you don't want to do it for me, do it for my mom. I know you loved her. You just wanted to steal her from Keith, but you ended up falling for her. She was the best person you ever knew. She made you happy. When she smiled, your life was complete. And she made you laugh. You never felt stupid when she was with you..."
"How do you know all that?" He demanded, cutting me off.
"I heard Keith talking," I confessed.
"I never told Keith that stuff." He looked nervous.
"She was my mom. She was the only thing I had, but she more than covered for your lack of parenting. But I knew her better than you ever will." I looked down and swallowed my tears, struggling to keep my voice steady. "You gave her up, that was your loss, but I didn't have a choice. Do her this last favor and sign the damn papers."
He started at me for awhile without saying anything, until someone called his name. "Just a second," he yelled to the other thief, I mean car salesman.
"I'll make you a deal," he said, finally.
I crossed my arms. A deal with Dan Scott? How stupid did he think I was? Obviously, all my intelligence came from Mom.
"I sign these papers, and Keith can adopt you or whatever the hell you guys are planning."
I nodded. This was sounding like a good deal so far. What was the next part, he wanted my soul in return?
"And you don't come back here. I am not part of your life anymore."
"You never were part of my life." I spat, it took great effort not to add "bastard" or "asshole" to the end of that sentence.
"I'm not done. I sign these papers, and you quit the basketball team. You're done, no school ball and no ball in college. You let Whitey give Nathan his spot back on the team and go away."
"No way!" I objected.
"Fine, you can forget the papers, then. We'll see how the judge likes Keith over me for your father, seeing as you have my blood and Keith is an alcoholic."
"You bastard!"
He smiled. "Quit the team, Lucas. Take it or leave it."
I turned around fully prepared to storm out of the dealership, "Oh and Lucas," he said in a smiling voice, "Don't tell Whitey. I would hate for him to find out that Keith is an alcoholic."
I ran off and slammed the door behind me. I ran around the block a few times, trying to work off the aggression I felt. I needed something to punch. I thought about all the damage I caused to the house the night Mom died, and the violence pillow Keith gave me. Mom used to do that too. When I was mad at something, she would take me to do something active, or give me playdoh to attack. And now that I thought about it, most times that I was mad it was because of Dan. Damn him.
I wanted to talk to Keith, together we could plan the demise of Dan, but there was a chance Whitey was still there. I didn't want to risk him seeing me trying to visit Keith.
I looked at my watch, 12:17. It was lunchtime. I decided to go to get Haley. She should be at lunch.
"Lucas! I went to your house after school like you said but there was no one there. It was wicked clean though, did you have a maid service come?"
"No, Keith must have cleaned."
I didn't tell her about anything that happened with child services. I wanted her to think I was as normal as possible and having Child Services beat down my door didn't really portray "normal."
She invited me in and we sat down on the couch. "Now what?" She asked me.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Brooke is really worried about you." I looked away. I really didn't want to think about Brooke. I wanted alcohol.
"Do you have anything to drink?" I asked, interrupting her spiel on, "you won't answer her calls or answer the door when she comes over."
"Nothing hard, if that's what you mean. My dad doesn't exactly leave the house stocked when he leaves his 16 year old home alone."
I didn't say anything, but I still wasn't making eye contact.
"Luke, this whole alcohol thing...are you okay?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You're starting to worry me a little."
"Who made you the mom?" I snapped.
She looked hurt and stood up, not facing me.
"Peyton, I'm sorry."
"No, if you're going to be a jerk than you can leave."
"I'm sorry," I repeated. I reached for her arm, but she pulled it away.
"We have to tell Brooke," she finally spoke.
"No, we don't."
"If you're not going to tell her with me, I'll do it alone. But Luke," she paused an shook her head, "you're turning into a real ass."
"Fine." I said, my temper flaring again. I took my jacket off the back of the couch and left. She didn't come after me.
"Lucas?" Whitey called when I stumbled in the door.
"Yeah," I said.
"Where did you go?" He shook his head before I could answer, "Nevermind, don't answer that. Come here."
He started walking into the depths of his house. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was intruding. We stopped in a room that had obviously not been touched since the 1800s. His wife must have decorated it. There were lilies on the walls and the bedspread was a homemade quilt. My duffle bag was on the quilt.
"This is your room," he told me. He looked around the room like he was seeing it for the first time. Maybe he really hadn't seen it since the 1800s. Or at least the 80s.
"There are towels in the closet if you want to shower. You can eat anything in the kitchen. Keith says you can cook. Practice starts at three pm sharp. I expect you to be there."
"Thanks Coach," I said. He nodded. "No really, I mean it, thanks for not making me stay with Dan."
"Dan would pressure you at basketball and you would buckle. I can't lose you. You're a decent player."
"Thanks... I guess," I was pretty sure there was a compliment in there.
He studied me, and then shook his head and laughed, "Jesus, Lucas. Keith has no idea what he's getting himself into."
"I think he does. We've been living together for the past month."
"Yeah, he told me about your previous drunken nights. Smart not to pull that tonight, Scott."
I looked at my shoes.
"Oh, just go to bed, Scott. I'll talk to you at practice."
He turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway. "Lucas, don't go see Keith. If Child Services knew you were seeing each other, they would not react well, don't risk it."
I nodded. "You think he'll get me back, though, right?"
Whitey just shrugged, "I really hope so, Luke."
"By the way," he said. "I saw Haley today, she is in hysterics. You won't return her calls."
Keith had been answering all the calls and taking messages for me. I hadn't looked at them yet. He told me that she came by a few times, but I was either sleeping or not up for visitors.
"I'll call her tomorrow, thanks Coach."
He nodded and went to bed.
As thankful as I was not to have to stay with Dan, I didn't want to stay with Whitey. I felt like I was intruding on his life. I liked him being my coach and nothing more. This whole father figure thing wasn't working for me.
I woke up hungry. I think it was the first time I had an actual desire to eat something since mom died. Keith made me eat at least a sandwich everyday, but if he didn't practically force feed me, I wouldn't have eaten. I explored the kitchen, opening several doors looking for a pantry. It felt so wrong, searching Coach's house. I got out all the ingredients to make an omelet. I made a mental note to call mom and ask her why hers tasted better than mine. Then I realized she was gone. I wasn't hungry anymore. My stomach ached again. I sat down on the couch and watched TV, but Whitey didn't have cable, only the broadcast channels. I wasn't up for Lindsay/Megan/Jessica's pregnancy or the fact that she thought the father of her baby was in a coma, but would later return with amnesia. I shut the TV off.
It was 10:00. I considered going back to sleep, like I had been doing at home, but I felt so unproductive. I needed to talk to Dan, but the thought of seeing him made my stomach hurt more. I needed Keith.
Ignoring Whitey's orders, I went to see Keith. I walked to the shop and looked at all the cars. They were all regulars, cars I had once worked on. No Martha Lansing, Child Services. I heard Keith's voice. He was yelling, "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! That bastard! Once he knows I want something, he'll do anything in his power to stop it!"
Who was he talking to? I peered through the little window, but I still couldn't see anything. It was Whitey's voice that answered, "Keith," he said soothingly, trying to get my uncle to stop yelling. It was no use.
"That idiot has stopped me from getting anything good since we were kids! He got the car I wanted, the job I wanted, the girl I wanted..."
Whitey must have looked confused because Keith explained, "I liked Karen long before he started dating her. But he heard me talking to one of my friends, and he started dating her the next day. I thought she was too good for me, I mean she was a beautiful cheerleader with an amazing personality. We could talk for hours, and she made me feel so happy. He started dating her the next day." He hit something. "Bastard!"
"Keith, there's still hope."
"He said no, Whitey. He has to give up his rights for me to keep Lucas."
"The kid can still live with you if you're not his legal parent."
"You know what he told me?" Keith asked.
"I talked to him this morning and I thought Nathan was at his mom's house, but when Nathan walked in the room he said, 'I need at least one good basketball player.'" Keith shook his head. "I can't give Luke to him. He's trying to get to Nathan. He pisses off me, Nathan and Lucas in one shot. He's mad at me."
"Why?"
"Cause I almost got the girl in the end," he smiled.
"I'll talk to Dan," Whitey volunteered.
"No, he hates you, you'll just be incentive to why he should say no."
"Well, you could always fight him in court. How bad do you want to keep this kid?"
"Whatever it takes. I'm not losing him, Whitey. That kid is the closest thing I have to family, and I'm all he has, too. No one's taking him away from me, especially not Danny."
I smiled to myself. I didn't want to hear anymore. Hearing what Keith was going to have to do to keep me was going to make me feel bad, and I didn't want to deal with that at the moment. I went to see Dan. At least I wouldn't feel bad taking my anger out on him.
"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in," Dan said when I knocked on the door to his office. He was looking up carfax reports and doing other car salesmen type paperwork.
I said nothing. I was trying not to explode. If I could have my way, I would have taken the little Dodge truck gold paperweight and hit him hard over the head with it. That would have taken care of him, I've seen CSI.
"What do you want, Lucas?"
"I've never asked you for anything in my life," I said.
"That's why I asked what you want."
"Sign the papers, Dan."
"What papers?"
"You know damn well what papers. Keith talked to you this morning. The adoption papers."
"Oh," he said, as if he was just now comprehending. Yeah, right, like he would forget his brother asking to adopt his son. "those papers."
"Yeah, those papers. You've never been any kind of father to me, why don't you just sign the papers?"
"You want to be raised by my brother?"
"Raised? I'm grown already. I want Keith to adopt me. And I want you to give up your rights and stay away from me, as you've done beautifully for my entire life."
"And why should I do that?"
"This can be the one thing you ever do for me...ever."
"And why would I want to do something for you?"
"Because I'm your son! Dammit, Dan, I don't care if you want to have nothing to do with me. Fine. Don't. I'll make it really easy. Sign the papers and I'll be out of your life forever."
He said nothing.
"If you don't want to do it for me, do it for my mom. I know you loved her. You just wanted to steal her from Keith, but you ended up falling for her. She was the best person you ever knew. She made you happy. When she smiled, your life was complete. And she made you laugh. You never felt stupid when she was with you..."
"How do you know all that?" He demanded, cutting me off.
"I heard Keith talking," I confessed.
"I never told Keith that stuff." He looked nervous.
"She was my mom. She was the only thing I had, but she more than covered for your lack of parenting. But I knew her better than you ever will." I looked down and swallowed my tears, struggling to keep my voice steady. "You gave her up, that was your loss, but I didn't have a choice. Do her this last favor and sign the damn papers."
He started at me for awhile without saying anything, until someone called his name. "Just a second," he yelled to the other thief, I mean car salesman.
"I'll make you a deal," he said, finally.
I crossed my arms. A deal with Dan Scott? How stupid did he think I was? Obviously, all my intelligence came from Mom.
"I sign these papers, and Keith can adopt you or whatever the hell you guys are planning."
I nodded. This was sounding like a good deal so far. What was the next part, he wanted my soul in return?
"And you don't come back here. I am not part of your life anymore."
"You never were part of my life." I spat, it took great effort not to add "bastard" or "asshole" to the end of that sentence.
"I'm not done. I sign these papers, and you quit the basketball team. You're done, no school ball and no ball in college. You let Whitey give Nathan his spot back on the team and go away."
"No way!" I objected.
"Fine, you can forget the papers, then. We'll see how the judge likes Keith over me for your father, seeing as you have my blood and Keith is an alcoholic."
"You bastard!"
He smiled. "Quit the team, Lucas. Take it or leave it."
I turned around fully prepared to storm out of the dealership, "Oh and Lucas," he said in a smiling voice, "Don't tell Whitey. I would hate for him to find out that Keith is an alcoholic."
I ran off and slammed the door behind me. I ran around the block a few times, trying to work off the aggression I felt. I needed something to punch. I thought about all the damage I caused to the house the night Mom died, and the violence pillow Keith gave me. Mom used to do that too. When I was mad at something, she would take me to do something active, or give me playdoh to attack. And now that I thought about it, most times that I was mad it was because of Dan. Damn him.
I wanted to talk to Keith, together we could plan the demise of Dan, but there was a chance Whitey was still there. I didn't want to risk him seeing me trying to visit Keith.
I looked at my watch, 12:17. It was lunchtime. I decided to go to get Haley. She should be at lunch.