Author's note: Sorry it took so long so update. I was suffering some combination writer's block/summer laziness, but I think I'm over it. Cross your fingers. I wasn't sure about posting this chapter, but I decided to take Winnie's advice and face my fears. Reviews are appriciated. I actually have a direction now (woo hoo), but suggestions are still welcome.
Keith was sitting in the kitchen with Deb when I got home. It pissed me off. The phrase "fraternizing with the enemy" came to mind. I would have gotten a lecture from Mom if I had said that out loud. She spent the last two months trying to convince me that Deb wasn't the enemy. I didn't buy it, though. She helped make Nathan. She was half responsible for putting that bastard on the planet. I couldn't get over that.
Deb stood up when I opened the front door. "Lucas."
"Hi Deb," I said. I was being civil. I could be civil. Deb was Keith's sister in law. They had always gotten along well, and I was almost certain Keith wasn't above smacking me for being disrespectful. I didn't want to find out for sure.
"Your eulogy was great, Luke. Karen would have liked it."
"How would you know? You weren't friends until Dan started being a bastard to you, too."
"Luke!" Keith said harshly. So much for being civil. Keith kept glaring at me.
"Sorry." I muttered.
"Listen, Lucas. I'm sorry. You're right. Your mom and I were never really close friends and I'm sorry for that. For the short time that I did know her, I found that she was an amazing woman and I wish I had gotten to spend more time with her."
"Yeah," I didn't know what to say. She was going to make me cry again and I was at a new record of hours without tears. I looked away.
"I brought you some more food," she said, filling the awkward silence that had taken over the room. "Not that you need it, though. Keith tells me you are a terrific cook."
I looked at Keith. This pissed me off, too. I felt like he gave away a deep, dark secret of mine. Sharing secrets with the enemy. My good mood from Haley's house lasted the walk home. My temper was dancing on the surface at all times, so I decided to get out of there before I started accusing Deb of giving birth to Satan, ahem, Nathan.
"I'm going to my room," I told Keith.
"All right," he agreed.
I hung up the suit that I had thrown on my bed earlier. I didn't like this cleaning up after myself business that I had to start.
The few fights that Mom and I had past the age of ten had to do with my room being a disaster zone. I would pull the, "it's my room," and she would come back with "but it's my house." Then I would sit in my room and not clean until Mom would use the, "you're not leaving the house until your room is clean" threat. I think one of our worst fights started with that exact scenario. After much groaning and complaining and general anger at the world, I finally set out to tackle the mountains of clothes and junk that made up the floor of my room. Partway through reclaiming my room from the mess monsters, the river court boys came over, wanting to play a game. I had been attempting to clean for the last two hours and was more than ready for a break.
"I'm going out, Mom." I called.
"Is your room clean?" she called back.
I looked around my room. It was cleanER. I was starting to see the top of my desk and my carpet again. "Yeah," I called.
"Have fun, sweetie."
I did have fun. Three hours of fun at the river court. When I got back, I was hoping that she hadn't seen my room. No such luck. I entered through the door to my room and the first thing I saw was Mom sitting on my bed, waiting for me.
"So this is what you call clean, Lucas?"
"umm..."
"It's a simple question, son. Either yes you think it's clean in which case we need to redefine your version of clean, or no, you don't think so and you lied to me. So which is it?"
Oh shit. "Um, which one is worse?"
"Lucas!" she yelled.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I'll finish cleaning now."
"Yes, you will. And then you'll clean the bathroom and the kitchen and the living room just to make sure that you understand what is really clean."
"What?! That's insane!"
"First you argue with me all morning about cleaning your room and then you lie to me and say it's clean and go play with you friends after I told you that you weren't allowed to go until it was clean."
"I'm not cleaning the whole house."
"Oh yes, you are."
She won. As usual.
It seemed so long ago that my biggest problem was cleaning my room. Now I had to stop myself from crying for 6 consecutive hours.
Keith poked his head in my room. "Did you eat something?"
"Yes, Mom, I did."
"How did things go with Peyton?"
"Fine."
He raised an eyebrow, but I didn't offer anymore details. He didn't push.
"We're going out to eat," he said.
"I already ate."
"Has anyone ever told you that the worst liar on the planet? I don't think you've said one honest thing since you walked into the house."
"Not true. I said, 'I'm home'."
He raised his eyebrow again.
"Come on, Keith. I don't want to go."
"You're eating."
I shook my head.
"As first order of business as your parental guardian, you are coming to dinner."
I stared at him.
"Let's go, Luke."
"I really, really don't want to go anywhere, can we just eat here?"
He considered me. My attempt at bambi eyes must have worked because he agreed. "Fine. What should I heat up for you?"
We sat down to eat together, neither one of us saying anything. We had reached a level of comfortable silence. I was glad he wasn't making me talk. It seemed like all everyone wanted to do was talk about Mom. I didn't want to think about her. It hurt too much.
But halfway through picking apart my lasagna, I wanted to talk. Keith, who was actually eating his food, looked up when I said, "Keith."
He looked shocked. I guess I hadn't initiated conversation in awhile.
"Yeah, Luke."
"What did you mean when you threatened to tell Dan what really happened between him and Mom?"
Keith looked away. "Ummm... well, he knew what it meant. Don't worry about it, Luke."
"I want to know."
"Maybe when you're older."
"How old do you want me to be? I'm practically grown already."
"I know. I hate that."
"So are you going to tell me?"
He shook his head. "You don't need to know."
"Keith!" I said, as if saying his name would get a confession out of him. It didn't.
"Luke!" He said, copying my exasperated tone.
"That's not fair!"
"Eat!"
I went to bed right after dinner, if spreading lasagna around your plate so it looks like less counts as dinner, that is. I was exhausted. Burying your only parent really takes it out of you, I guess. But once I brushed my teeth and crawled between my green jersey knit sheets, I was wide awake again.
"Keith!" I called. I don't know where it came from. My mouth traveled faster than my brain, and once he appeared in the doorway, I had nothing to say.
"Yes, Luke?"
"Don't leave me, okay?" Another statement I didn't plan to say. It just happened.
He nodded and smiled with one side of his mouth.
"Okay, Luke. I won't leave you."
And all of the sudden, I was sleepy. I could barely hold my eye lids up. Gravity was pulling them down. Sleep was pulling them down.
"Goodnight Prince Lucas," Keith said softly, apparently thinking I was already asleep.
"Goodnight King Keith," I said, half asleep.
When Keith lived with us, he used to tell me stories every night before bed. When Mom put me to bed, she would read to me, but Keith always made up stories about Kings and castles and princes. Fairy tales for guys, if you will. There were always dragons and horses and bad guys, but never a princess. It was always an adventure story; we would be out to save an innocent kitten, or to save the kingdom from an evil intruder.
I don't know how long Keith stood in my doorway because I was asleep in seconds. Dreams came not much longer. I guess I skipped right over the first few stages of sleep, right to REM sleep. The scene looked familiar. It was my kitchen. A blonde kid was sitting at the table in a booster seat. It was me. I was little, 3, maybe 4 or even 5. I decided on 4. Mom was standing at the sink washing dishes.
"Mommy?" I said, with my mouth stuffed with cheerios and bananas.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, honey," she said in a voice harsher than I remember her ever talking.
I swallowed. "Where is Keith?"
She sighed and rubbed her forehead with her hand. "Um, I don't know, baby." She sounded sad.
"Why didn't he come home last night? He didn't tell me a story."
Mom turned to face me. My 16 year old self shivered. She was so real. It was my mom. It didn't matter that I was dreaming, I reached out, hoping that I could touch her, but all I got was my wall. I opened my eyes and found myself back in my bedroom. My heart sank. I closed my eyes again, hoping to be back in the kitchen in my booster seat, and sure enough, when my eyes were closed, there I was, continuing with my interrogation of why Keith wasn't home. I guess this was when Keith lived with us.
"When is he coming home?"
Mom turned around to face me, "He should be home soon." She looked at the clock on the microwave. "Hurry and eat, Luke, we have to leave soon."
Keith entered as if on cue. Mom turned quickly and started washing dishes again. He kissed the top of my head and approached Mom. Usually he kissed her next, but she wouldn't turn around.
She was doing the dishes from the night before more aggressively than she usually washed them. It was like she was trying to release her anger on the poor plates because she couldn't soak Keith in soap and scrub the hell out of him. Generally when she had that pissed off look, it was because I did something wrong. I had never seen her mad at Keith before. I watched as Keith apologized for not coming home.
"I called the bar, Keith."
He looked down, but she couldn't see. She still hadn't looked at him since he walked in.
"You left the bar with a woman." Mom said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
Keith didn't say anything.
"This is the part where you offer a really great explanation," she informed him, full of bitterness.
"Karen..."
"Who was she, Keith?"
"Karen, I'm sorry."
"How was she?"
"Karen, please-"
"No, Keith! You won't look at me and you're not denying it. You're wearing the same clothes for God's sake."
He still didn't answer. Mom started crying. She leaned back over the dishes, her back away from Keith. Keith leaned over her, touching her shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" Mom turned around and started hitting him with the dishtowel. "You cheated on me, Keith! You had sex with another woman!"
"Karen, I-"
"Shut up, Keith! Shut the hell up! I'm not talking to you."
"I'll make it up to you," he whispered.
And it all made sense. This was when Keith cheated on Mom, like he said earlier, "it was the biggest mistake I ever made..."
She gave him a dirty look and stormed out of the room.
I stayed in my booster seat, not able to get out without Mom's help.
Keith's eyes were welling with tears.
"Where were you, Keith?"
He looked at me like he just realized I was in the room.
"What, kid?"
"You didn't tell me a story last night."
"I'm sorry, Luke. I'll tell you a story tonight."
"Mommy is mad at you."
"I know."
"She said a bad word at you."
He nodded, still not looking at me.
"Where did you go?"
"I- I- I" He didn't know how to answer me. How do you tell a four year old that you cheated on his mom?
Mom came out of her room still looking furious. "Go ahead, Keith tell him where you were last night."
Keith didn't say anything.
"Then get the hell away from my kid."
Mom picked me up out of my booster seat.
"I'm sorry, Karen. I'm so so so so so so sorry."
She ignored him and carried me to my room. She dropped me harshly on my bed and started throwing the contents of my drawers around, looking for clothes. She picked a shirt and pants from my closet and nearly broke the small plastic hanger getting them out.
"Luke, get dressed, we need to leave."
I shook my head. Keith was standing in the doorway looking miserable.
"Lucas. Get. Dressed." She said firmly.
I started whimpering. "I didn't get my story."
"I'll tell you a story tonight, Luke," Keith repeated.
"No you won't. You're not coming back."
"Karen-"
"I'm serious, Keith. I'm not living with someone who cheats."
"I'm never going to do it again. I swear, Karen, from now on-"
Mom looked back at me. I wasn't moving.
"Lucas!" She grabbed my arm and started yanking off my pajamas roughly. I started crying harder.
"This would be easier if you would cooperate, Luke!" She yelled at me.
"I want Keith to read to me."
"Keith can't read to you," she said, while prying the shirt over my head.
"Why not?"
"Because he is a liar and a cheater," Mom started.
Keith interrupted from the doorway, "Don't tell him that!"
"Get out of my house!" Mom yelled.
"Not until you hear me out."
"No! I'm getting my son dressed and we're leaving. We're late already."
"I'll take him to school. You go ahead and go to the café."
"We don't need your help, Keith."
"Yes you do."
"I don't need someone who cheats."
"I said I'm sorry."
"It's going to take a hell of a lot more than sorry to fix what you did."
I was sitting and wouldn't stand up. She had yanked my Ninja Turtle pajamas off and the only thing she had left was to put on my jeans, but I wouldn't stand up. She was trying to lift me up and put the pants on me at the same time, but it wasn't working. She needed Keith to help. Either that or she needed to tell me that Keith would tell me a story later, and I would have cooperated.
"Lucas! Stand up!"
"You're yelling at Keith," I cried.
"That is not your problem. Stand up."
"I'm not going to school without a story."
"I don't have time for this. Get up!"
I cried harder, but made no effort to stand. Mom stood up, grabbed my arm, pulled me up and spanked my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-underwear clad bottom. Rafael and Donatello's ninja bodies did nothing to protect my butt from her enormous hand that took all her remaining aggression against her boyfriend out on my butt. She landed three hard whacks before Keith ran to my aid. "Karen, Stop!" She looked up at him and then at me. She was griping my arm so tight her knuckles were white. I was screaming, but I saw her looking at me like she had no idea how I got there. She looked terrified, but I was screaming too hard to care too much.
She let go of my arm, and Keith scooped me up. He put his arm under my butt to hold me up, but I started screaming again. He tried to put me back down, but I screamed louder. He compromised by holding me up with his hand on my back. He patted my back until I stopped screaming. Mom watched him comfort me and she burst into tears. If she was in a cartoon we would both have gravity defying tears that shoot upwards before coming down again.
"It's me you want to hit, Karen," Keith said quietly, "Don't take it out on Luke." At the mention of my name I started scream-crying again. Mom buried her face in her hands.
Keith looked from Mom to me and back again unsure of what to do.
"I'm just gonna take him..." Keith said.
Mom didn't let him finish. She wiped her eyes and said, "You're not taking him anywhere. Put him down."
Keith shook his head. "I'm not leaving him with you."
"Yes, you are." She stood up, "come on, baby." She held her hands out for me.
I turned away and buried my face in Keith's shirt.
"Look, Karen, why don't you go get dressed and I'll get Luke dressed," Mom must have acquiesced because Keith tried his luck, "I can take him to school."
"No." Mom said flatly. No explanation, just no.
"Fine," said Keith. It wasn't fine, but he recognized defeat, "I'll finish getting him ready. You go get dressed."
I could tell Mom wanted to argue, but we had to leave. She made me look at her and said, "Luke, I'm sorry, honey."
I didn't respond. She let me go.
"Come on, Luke. Let's go brush your teeth."
His hand swallowed mine and he lead me into the bathroom and handed me my dinosaur toothbrush and Ninja Turtle toothpaste. They didn't make Ninja Turtle toothbrushes, or I would have that too.
He let me brush my teeth without talking. I rinsed my mouth and looked at Keith, unsure of what to do next. He steadied my shoulders. "Lucas, I love you."
"I love you too," I said automatically. He and Mom told me they loved me all the time and it was just a response.
"It doesn't matter what happens with me and your mom, I want you to know that I love you. Do you understand?"
I nodded.
"Are you ready to put your pants on?"
I shook my head.
He set me down on the counter and washed my face, attempting to eliminate its red puffiness. It wasn't working, but at least I had stopped crying.
"All we need is your pants, and then you'll be ready," he said more enthuisatically than was usually reserved for putting on pants, "Maybe you'll be even faster than Mom."
His faux enthusiasm was enough to get me to go back to my room, but it wasn't enough to put my pants on.
"Do you need help?" Keith asked when I didn't put them on. He knew very well that I could dress myself.
I shook my head.
"Then what's the problem, buddy?"
I rubbed my bottom. "It still hurts," I cried, my bottom lip starting to quiver again.
Keith rushed to my side.
"Don't cry, Luke. It's okay. It won't hurt any more to put your pants on."
I shook my head, tears starting to spill from my eyes again. "I don't want to."
"Luke...please?" He was starting to get frustrated, too. He was under enough stress trying to get Mom to look at him; the last thing he needed was for his 4 year old to refuse to get dressed.
"Are you gonna spank me, too?"
"No, Lucas. I won't."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart, hope to die."
"Stick a thousand needles in your eye?"
"Yes."
I starting putting my pants on and Keith went to the room he and Mom shared to attempt damage control with Mom.
Mom's room was across the hall and usually I could hear her talking, but they were keeping their voices low. I could hear them hissing at each other, but I couldn't make out the words. Mom apparently won, because Keith came back into my room with Mom right behind him.
"Remember what I said, Luke?"
I nodded.
"Good," he gave me a hug, "I love you, buddy."
"Will you tell me a story tonight?" I asked.
Keith eyes welled with tears, but he refused to let them spill, "Um, no, kiddo. Not tonight."
"Why not?"
He looked at Mom. "I can't do this, Kare. Let me come home." He was pleading now. The only thing that would have made him more desperate would be if he was kneeling in front of her with flowers in his hands.
She shook her head.
"I'll call you later...when you're less...irrational." That was the wrong this to say. Mom pointed to the door, "Get out, Keith!"
Keith didn't look back at me. He just left, without a word.
I looked up at Mom with my eyes full of tears.
"I'm so sorry, Luke," she got down on her knees and pulled me close to her, swallowing my whole body in her arms.
"Where did Keith go?" I asked.
"He's going to go away for awhile."
"Why?"
"Because he hurt Mommy very bad."
"Mommy hurt me, too."
"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," she squeezed me tighter, "I was just really mad at Keith...I know that's not a good reason and I will never never do that to you again, baby."
The silence on the way to daycare did Mom some good. She took me out of my car seat much happier than when she put me in it.
She dropped me off in my classroom of primary colors with a big hug. "Listen, baby, I know this is hard for you."
I just stared at her. I didn't want to say anything that was going to make her cry again.
"What do you say we do something fun after school?"
I nodded.
"Where should we go?"
I shrugged. Having fun didn't sound like a possibility at the moment.
"Well you think about it and we can go after I finish work, okay?"
I nodded my agreement.
She kissed me, "Have a good day. I love you."
"I love you more," I said, smiling.
"No way!" She said, overly enthusiastic. It made me happy though, my grin spread across my face. "I love you thiiiiiis much." She spread her arms as far apart as they would go.
"Well I love you thiiiiis much." I did the same, although her arms were much longer than mine.
"I love you thiiiiiiis much," she wrapped her arms around me and started kissing me all over my face.
I giggled.
"Ok, bye, sweetie, I'll pick be back to pick you up."
I went to join the block center and Mom went to talk to my teacher.
The scene changed. I wanted to open my eyes and see Mom standing there, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't want to risk waking up and not being able to go back to the dream...or memory...or whatever it was. It couldn't be a memory because I didn't remember that I remembered it. It was making me dizzy. I stopped thinking and watched the dream/memory play out.
Mom picked me up and took me back to the café, like usual.
"Have you thought of where you want to go?" She asked cheerfully. She was putting on this act for me, I was sure. But I liked her fake happiness better than her crying, so I let it go.
I was in the back watching Sesame Street while Mom worked. I heard Keith come in, furious.
"You won't answer my calls," he said angrily.
"I'm taking Lucas to have pizza tonight, you can move out then," she pretended like she didn't hear him.
Their discussion seemed to be more interesting that the letter G and the number 8, so I peeked through the doorway, out of view.
"Karen, I'm begging you. Give me another chance."
"No, Keith. You cheated on me."
"I'm sorry. You have to believe me. I am so sorry. It was stupid. It didn't mean anything."
"So you blew our relationship on something that didn't mean anything?"
He sighed. "You know what I mean."
"No, Keith, I don't. Enlighten me."
"Listen, Karen. I love you."
She didn't answer.
"I know you love me."
"I used to," her voice cracked. She was holding back tears.
"Karen," he tried to come around the counter that was filled with flowers. All from Keith, I'm sure.
"No," she said firmly. "Stay there. You have until 7 to move out."
"What about Lucas?"
She looked up, sharply. "What about him?"
"You can't stop me from seeing him."
"Yes I can. I don't want you to see him."
"That's not fair, Karen!"
"You screwed up."
"I know. I did. But I didn't hurt him."
"I don't want you to see him," she repeated.
"Karen..."
"No, you're not his father."
Keith looked hurt. Really hurt.
"No, Keith, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."
"You know. I never thought that you of all people would throw that in my face."
"I'm sorry. I'm just mad at you."
"Yeah, well, don't make your kid suffer cause you're mad at me."
"I don't want you to hurt him like you hurt me."
"I would never do that."
"I thought that, too."
"Where is he?"
"In the back. He's fine. Don't make a bigger deal out of this that it is."
"It is a big deal. You're kicking me out. You think he's not going to notice?"
"I just don't want him to hurt."
"Like he did this morning when you spanked the poor kid?"
She looked down. "We talked about it. He's okay now."
"I don't want to leave him with you if you are going to do that to him again. What if I didn't stop you?"
"It's not going to happen again. And seeing as I'm his mother and you're not. You don't have a choice. Please leave."
"I want to see him."
"No."
I ran out of my hiding place.
"Keith!" I ran to him and wrapped my hands around his leg.
"Hi, Luke!" He picked me up and gave me a kiss. "Did you have a good day?" He was pretending like nothing was wrong. Mom was looking really angry. I noticed that customers who were finished eating were staying to watch the scene play out.
"Will you tell me a story tonight?" I asked, ignoring his question.
He looked at Mom. She shook her head.
"Mom will tell you a story," he said.
I shook my head and leaned close to whisper in his ear, "Mom isn't good at telling stories. She always makes the prince kiss a princess." I made a face, illustrating my disgust at the thought of kissing.
Keith laughed. He was going to say something back to me, but Mom cleared her throat loudly.
We both looked up.
"Keith, you need to leave."
"Karen, I'm sorry. I really am. What do I have to do to prove that to you?"
"Just leave Keith. Don't make this worse than it is."
"Mommy, can Keith come have pizza with us?" I pleaded.
"No, Luke. Keith is leaving now."
"But I don't want him to leave."
"I'm sorry, honey." She looked at Keith. "Leave."
He finally followed her command.
Once the door shut behind him, I asked Mom, "When is he coming back?"
"Not for awhile, Luke."
"But I want to see him."
"No."
"But Mom-"
"No, Luke." She said more forcefully.
I looked away from her and ran out the door, chasing after Keith.
"Lucas!" Mom ran after me.
"Keith!" I screamed, running into the parking lot, searching for his truck. It was pulling out of the lot, but he didn't see me. "Keith!!" I yelled again, tears running down my face.
"Lucas!" Mom grabbed me up before I knew what was happening. She had a look of pure terror on her face. For a second I thought she was going to spank me again, but she just carried me into the café, past all the observant customers, into the kitchen in the back.
"Lucas Scott!" She was in my face, whisper-shouting. "You know better than to run out into the street!"
"I want Keith back!" I shouted.
She clamped her hand over my mouth.
"Stop it!"
"Keith! Keith!"
"Luke!" But it wasn't Mom who said it. The scene in the café disappeared and was replaced by present day Keith looking just as terrified as Mom did when I ran into the street. "Luke, it's okay. It was just a dream," he said, frantically. I wonder how long he was trying to wake me up.
"What? Where's Mom?" I asked in one breath.
"Lucas?" He asked like he was afraid it wasn't really me.
"Where's Mom?" I repeated with more force.
"She's dead, Luke."
"No, she was there. She was right in front of me. I ran out in the street and she was mad at me. She was there." I reached out in front of me, desperate for her to appear there where she was.
"Luke, you were dreaming."
"No I wasn't! It was real!" Why wasn't he listening to me?!
He felt my forehead, "You're really hot, Luke, maybe you're getting a fever. He pulled my covers down, letting me breathe.
I knocked his hand away, and jerked the sheet off of me. It was stuck to my body. I was drenched in sweat.
"Would you listen?! I was running after you. You...you were younger. I was younger. Mom was mad at you. She kicked you out and you didn't want to leave." I was speaking very fast and incoherently, but apparently Keith understood, because his face became rigid. "Maybe it was just a memory."
"But I didn't remember it before."
"You were too little."
"How old was I...when she kicked you out?'
"Four, I think. Yeah, four." Ha! I was right.
"You bought her flowers, but she wouldn't take you back. And I didn't want you to leave."
"I'm going to get you some water, Luke," he obviously didn't want to talk about it.
He came back with a glass of water for me and tuned on the fan. It felt good against my sweaty body. I peeled my shirt off and threw it in my hamper. Keith sat on the foot of my bed, still not talking. He was staring at my wall, but it looked more like he was staring through it. I hated seeing him looking so sad and so...well, grieving.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked him, desperate for him to come back to Earth.
He shook back to reality. "What? Oh, um..." he smiled, "I was thinking about your first day of kindergarten."
"What? Why?" I didn't mention that I didn't remember Keith being any part of my first day of kindergarten. He read my mind, "Oh I wasn't there. You were completely fine. It was your mom that was a wreck."
"No she wasn't. She made me French toast for breakfast and we ate together. Then she let me pick out my clothes and we walked to school. She took me to my class and that was it."
"Right. And then she came to my shop absolutely hysterical because she sent her only baby off to school. She was a mess. She would have kept you at home forever if she didn't have to work."
I smiled, "Yeah, she always was pretty sentimental about stuff like that."
He laughed to himself, "She came crying to me for your first everything. It was pathetic."
I only remembered her crying like three times in my life and none of them were for firsts of mine. "What? No she didn't."
"She always waited until you were gone."
I raised my eyebrow.
"Okay, your first little league game. I sat with her in the back of the stands while she cried her eyes out at her little baby in uniform."
I grinned.
"The first time you wanted to use the men's room instead of the women's in public...the day you started walking...your first word, which was 'mama' by the way...and ten bucks says while I was teaching you how to shave she was in her room crying."
I laughed. I wondered why I never noticed. "You never told me any of this."
He shrugged, "I didn't think it mattered to you."
"So you two had this whole secret relationship that I didn't know about where you would get together and talk about me?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
He ruffled my hair and let out an enormous yawn.
"Do you need anything, kid?"
I shook my head and lay down again.
"Goodnight, Lucas," he put my blanket over me and left, closing the door softly behind him.
(Now's when you review : ) please)