While we stood outside waiting for someone to answer the door, Keith whispered to me, "Don't drink anything but water. Dan has a nasty habit of trying to get me drunk."
"Keith! Lucas! I'm so glad you came," Deb exclaimed when she answered the door.
"How are you, Lucas?" She asked me after taking my coat. She was too concerned. She even added a head tilt when she said it. I hate the head tilt.
Terrible. I'm stuffed in pants with no back pockets and I really don't want to be in this house. "Fine. I'm fine."
"Good. How was your trip to school today?"
I turned to glare at Keith. He was shaking his wildly at her, trying to make her stop.
"Are you telling everyone about every detail of my life?" I snapped at Keith. I checked my watch. 37 seconds of being nice. Dammit. I promised myself I'd last an entire minute.
"No Luke, it's not like that." Deb tried to defend him. "I ran into Keith and I asked him how you were. That's all."
"Ran into him? Where?"
"Supermarket." Keith said quickly at the same time that Deb said, "The café."
"Right." I didn't have time to argue the case more, which was probably a good thing. May walked downstairs and Keith went quickly to her, avoiding my accusatory glances as he walked.
"Nathan!" Deb called to her son. She looked upstairs, but there was no answer. She looked like she was about to go after him, but the doorbell rang and she went to answer it instead.
"Good evening, Deb," said a voice I would have preferred never hearing again. I was tempted to side kick the door shut in his face. Deb did not do the obvious thing and refuse him entrance to her house, so in came Dan Scott, Professional Asshole. I wonder how that would look on a business card.
No one moved when he came in carrying a bottle of wine. Keith shot me an "I told you so" look. Deb didn't look like she wanted him there anymore than I did. Keith was refusing to make the first move. May finally stepped forward, "Hi son."
Dan gave his mother a kiss and won her over with his charm. What an asshole.
Deb announced that the food would be ready in 15 minutes. 15 minutes of forced conversation? I looked around desperately for a way to escape. Any excuse to leave…
"Nathan!" Deb called again.
"I'll get him!" I volunteered quickly.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea…" Keith said cautiously.
"Why not?" Dan challenged, "Afraid he'll get lost?"
Keith clenched his fist, but didn't respond to Dan. He looked at me, "Fine, go ahead."
"It's the first door on the right once you get up the stairs. There's caution tape on the door," Deb told me.
"I'll try not to get lost," I said bitterly.
There was only one door with caution tape on it. I managed not to get lost. The door was cracked open.
I knocked.
"I'll be down in a second, Mom." Nathan said.
I heard giggling from inside the room…familiar giggling. I flung the door open.
"Haley!"
"Lucas!"
Nathan jumped off of her and stood up. "What the hell are you doing in my room?"
"Your mom sent me. What the hell are you doing in his room?" I asked Haley.
"I uh,"
"That's none of your business," Nathan snapped, advancing on me.
"Nathan, don't," Haley held his arm, keeping him from pouncing on me, "I need to go anyway. Besides, your mom is waiting."
"And your dad. You don't want to keep Daddy waiting do you?"
Haley gave me a sympathetic look, understanding that this dinner was going to be painful.
Nathan took the moment when Haley let go of his arm to push me against the wall.
"Stop!" Haley exclaimed loud enough for only us to hear.
"If you touch me, I'll yell for your mom. Something tells me you're not supposed to have Haley in your room."
He let me go.
Haley stood between the two of us to give me a hug. She turned 180 degrees to her boyfriend and gave him a kiss and she grabbed her coat and slipped silently out the window without a word. Nathan and I looked at each other and then quickly looked away. The less eye contact, the better.
I led the way out of his room and back downstairs.
The adults were silent. Awkward silence. Nathan and I both stopped short of entering the living room.
"If we make a run for it now, do you think they would notice?" I whispered. He laughed quietly. We made eye contact and then looked away quickly. We shared a moment. A brotherly moment. It would have been special if it wasn't preceded by 16 years of un-brotherly moments. Moments like Nathan's fist in my stomach, and my foot on his shin.
The pleasant chime of the expensive oven's timer saved us from having to join in the conversation in the room next door.
Keith followed Deb into the dining room where Nathan and I were still hiding. They both saw us and looked shocked.
"Hi-hi boys," Deb said, her voice sounding nervous.
Keith shot her a look that I couldn't place and said, "Hi, Nathan, how are you?"
The conversation stayed like that, something like uncomfortable small talk while we all sat down. Somehow I ended up between Keith and Dan, with Nathan on the other side of Dan.
We had lasagna. Mom's lasagna. Deb probably brought it from the café. How could she steal Mom's famous dish and then flaunt it in front of me? From the way she smiled at me, she seemed to think it was a treat for me. I didn't eat any.
Dan opened the wine and started pouring it. Keith leaned to me and whispered, "Do you remember how I told you I didn't think Dan has ever had a drink before?" I nodded. "I think I lied."
Keith didn't take any wine. "What's wrong, big brother, you don't think it's good enough?" Dan taunted him, loud enough for only me and Keith to hear. He poured some for his own son and then offered it to me. Keith poked me. "No thank you." I said.
"I'd like to propose a toast," Dan said, smiling his crooked smile and making his mother fall in love with him. "To my mom. Mom, you have been there for every step of my life. You've always been there for me and my family with your support and terrific apple pie. I love you so much. May you have many more birthdays to come."
Keith smiled along with the rest of them, but I could tell he wanted to punch Dan.
"So Lucas," Dan said, making all of us stop eating instantly and look up. Deb and Keith looked nervous, May didn't. She had apparently never heard Dan talk to me before.
"Do you find it ironic that the Raven's won the game even with Nathan in his old position?"
What day was it? Game? Shit! We had a game. Whitey was going to kill me. How could I forget about the game! I hid my shock at missing the game long enough to muster a bitter response.
"No," I replied, "That's not irony. Try taking Sophomore English again."
Keith put his hand on my leg under the table, "Don't…" he warned. Why wasn't anyone hissing at Dan?
"Where were you during the game?" He continued, despite the glares coming from Deb and Keith.
Sleeping, probably. Maybe watching TV. How could I have forgotten about the game? "I was plotting your demise."
Keith squeezed my leg. I moved it away sharply. I could feel his warning look digging into my skin.
"Oh yeah? What did you plot?"
"Several different things. My favorites involved dynamite and a stampede of pumas."
Nathan laughed. May smiled awkwardly, apparently under the impression that I was joking. I wasn't.
"My plots always had runaway trains," Keith added.
"Keith!" May exclaimed.
Keith's face flushed with injustice. "What? You get on to me, but not to Dan when he's torturing my kid!"
"He's his kid, too," May said quietly. She had no idea that these were fighting words she just uttered.
"I am NOT his kid!" I motioned in the direction of Dan. Everyone stared at me.
"I'm not arguing that fact," Dan added.
"How could you say that?" Keith spat.
"Well you wanted him so bad, he's yours."
My eyes were burning. I could feel my face growing red. I stood up, nearly knocking my chair over in the process. I would have made a run for it if I wasn't sandwiched between two people who were bigger than me. I'm sure I was the one who looked most upset, followed closely by Keith, who was just as red as me. Dan looked casually angry. A description that could only work on him. May looked close to tears, something that escaped everyone at the table except Deb.
"Lucas, sit," Keith demanded.
"Why? I'm not part of this family."
"Then what are you doing here?" Dan spat.
"Goddammit, Dan, leave the kid alone!" Keith said, throwing down his napkin.
"Why am I here? I'm celebrating the birthday of someone too wimpy to have anything to do with me. And the man who's DNA I carry, and who has nothing to do with me by choice."
May, who was sitting at the edge of the table, put her napkin down on the table and left the room in tears.
Keith stood up. "Dammit, Lucas, sit down! And Dan? Just shut the hell up!" He went into the kitchen after his mother.
"Great, look what you did," Dan said to me.
"What I did? I had no intention of speaking to you. You started it."
"For God's sake, Dan, go apologize to your mother," Deb said, exasperatedly.
Dan did not move. He gave Deb a challenging look. I knew that he loved May. The only reason he didn't go after her was because Deb told him to.
"Can I-" Nathan started to stand up.
"Don't even think about it," Deb answered, before he could even finish the question.
Nathan sat back down, defeated.
"Will you pass the wine please," I said to whomever was listening.
"Are you sure that's a good idea, Lucas?" Deb said, sounding a lot like my mom. Although if it had been my mom, she would have said, "Not a chance, mister."
"Why?" I asked rudely, "You've been talking to Keith, haven't you?"
"Don't talk to my wife like that," Dan butted in, although he still gave me that wine.
"What do you want from me?" I demanded. "How can I get you off my back?"
"You know how," Dan sneered and stood up to go to the kitchen.
I filled my wine glass to the rim and drank it down in one gulp.
"Wine on an empty stomach really isn't a good idea, Lucas," Deb commented, trying to keep her voice unaccusatory. I didn't by it.
I poured another glass, even though my body was telling me not to. I held it up to drink from it again.
"Please eat something, honey. You need something in your stomach."
"When did you become my mother?" I asked before I downed that glass, too.
"At least wait for Keith to come then."
"Wait for me to come back to do what?" Keith asked, coming through the door.
I was pouring my third full glass of wine. Keith saw me. "Luke! What did I tell you about drinking?"
"I only had a little," I said, looking at Deb. She didn't argue.
I didn't like wine. It probably came from my dislike of grape juice, which came from my dislike of grape flavored Dimetapp that Mom would hold me down and force down my throat when I was younger and sick. Grapes are my favorite fruit, though. Go figure.
"He had more than a little." Nathan said.
We all looked at him. I was glaring, Keith and Deb were looking more concerned.
"What? It's true."
"Shut up, jackass," I said, finally sitting back down.
"How much did he have?" Keith asked, turning to Nathan. I took the opportunity to down the glass of wine.
"Well that's more than a little right there," Nathan gestured to me. Keith followed his pointing to me.
"Lucas!"
I pulled the glass away from my mouth. The glass turned into two glasses and then I focused again and saw only one. Keith grabbed the glass from me.
"Hey! That's mine!" I tried to say, but it ended up being more like "Heysmine!"
"Oh yay! I love Drunk Lucas!" Nathan exclaimed.
"That's enough, Nathan." Deb admonished.
"Can I go then?"
"Fine. Go."
Dan reappeared at the door just as Deb allowed her son to leave.
"You're not leaving, Nathan."
"But Mom just said-"
"Well I said no. You're not leaving."
"But Dad-"
"No. You're just going to call that girl," he referred to Haley like she was a dirty word.
"Her name is Haley," Nathan and I said together, both of us demonstrating the same dislike for Dan.
Dan ignored us. Knowing Haley's name was not worth his time.
Dan looked at me, "You should go apologize to your grandma."
"No way, I'm outta here." I tried to stand up, but I tripped over myself and fell into the chair next to me. Fast working alcohol in that wine.
"Are you drunk?" Dan asked.
"You gave him the wine, jackass," Keith said.
"I didn't think he would get drunk off of it."
"That was your intention; don't play dumb with me, Danny."
"I don't have to put up with this from you. This is my house."
"No it's not. It's Deb's house."
"That's none of your business," Dan shot back.
While they continued bickering, I stood up and steadied myself, which was a more difficult feat than I anticipated. I started to walk away, but I couldn't walk straight and ended up running into the chair again. They stopped arguing and looked at me.
"Lucas, go apologize."
"Apologize for what? I only said the truth. I can't take back the truth."
I must have still been slurring my words because Keith gave up.
"Just sit down while I say bye to my mom. I'm taking you home."
My stomach flip over. So that's why you shouldn't drink on an empty stomach. "I need a bathroom."
"It's the second door on the right," Deb said, pointing down a hallway.
I stumbled down the hall. I was walking as straight as I could, and I didn't understand why I kept swerving. Two and half glasses of wine and I can't walk straight. I was turning into a lightweight.
I didn't reach the bathroom. There was an official looking door at the end of the hallway that didn't match the others. My curiosity for snooping around the Scott house overcame my need to use the bathroom. I turned the doorknob, expecting loud sounds or something. If I was in a movie, the suspenseful music would be building up to the moment when I opened the door enough to expose the contents of the room.
It was an office. Dan's office was my guess. There was a mahogany built in desk that took up two walls, and a mahogany built in bookshelf that took up another wall. I scanned the titles of the books, but the words kept spinning as I looked at them. I couldn't make sense of the words. I gave up on trying to read the titles and looked at the desk. Something caught my eye. Lying next to the framed picture of Dan, Deb and young Nathan was a picture. A picture of me. I picked it up. Even in my drunken state, I recognized the picture. It was during an end of year little league basketball party when they handed out trophies. I got MVP and the trophy for the most points scored, and another trophy for best free-throw. I was holding all three in my hands, trying not to drop any for the camera. Mom was standing in the side of the frame, smiling and laughing as Keith took the picture.
I moved the picture to the side. There was a birth announcement. "It's a boy," the bold blue writing read. It must be Nathan, I thought, but the picture stapled to the announcement was me, red and squinty from birth. The writing on the back of the picture was Keith's. "This is your son. He's beautiful. I thought you deserved to see him, but all you deserve. You don't deserve to be part of his life at all. I enclosed your check. We don't want it. Signed, Keith."
The next picture was of Mom. She was young. Definitely still in high school. She was wearing his letter jacket over her cheerleading outfit and laughing like she used to laugh when she played with me.
My stomach lurched and I turned the picture over, exposing a letter.
I took all my effort to read the first few lines of cramped boy writing. The lines kept blending together.
"My Karen,
I don't know how I can ever apologize for everything I put you through. I never meant to hurt you. If I had known it was going to end this way, I never would have done it. You have to believe me. You are the only one who truly knows me. Please take me back. I love you. I can't live without you.
I'm so sorry. Please please please forgive me. I wish I could take back everything that happened and start over. We can start over. Think about your future. About our future. I still want to be with you, but we're not ready to be parents. I'll take care of it. Please accept this money and I'll be right there with you when you take care of it. I'm sorry, Karen. It wasn't supposed to go like this.
I love you,
Your Dan"
The writing at the bottom of the letter was in a woman's handwriting. I started reading it when the door flew open.
"What the hell are you doing in my office!" Dan demanded.
I shoved the letter into my pocket and turned around.
"Did you find him?" Keith asked, following Dan into the room.
They both advanced on me and it didn't take either of them very long to see what I was looking at.
"You kept these?" Keith asked, glancing at the pictures.
Dan pushed me out of the way and hastily gathered the pictures, shoving them back into the drawer.
"You have no business being in my office. Get out! Both of you!"
"You told me you never got any of the pictures that I sent you," Keith said.
"Did you love her?" I asked Dan.
"That's none of your business," Dan shot back at me.
"What did you do to her?" I asked, standing as tall as my body would allow, trying my hardest to be taller than him.
"Lucas-" Keith started.
"No, Keith, I want to know what this asshole did to my mom. You did something to her to make her and Keith hate you."
"What are you talking about?" Dan said, in a bad attempt to sound confused.
"You know what I'm talking about."
"You need to leave."
"Not until you tell me what you did."
"You're drunk, Lucas. Go home and sleep it off."
"What the fuck did you do to her?" I screamed, grabbing his shirt and pounding on his chest.
My yelling brought the rest of the party into the office. How long had I been in there, trying to form intelligible sentences with the spinning text?
"What's going on?" May asked. Her face was red and puffy. Telltale signs of recent crying.
"Nothing, Mom. Lucas was just about to apologize to you for what he said earlier," Dan volunteered when no one else spoke.
"No I wasn't, Dad. I was about to call you an asshole and miserable human being and get out of this hellhole." I said Dad like it was an insult. And he understood that it was.
I shoved my way past the others to leave the office. Keith caught up to me, which was not a difficult feat considering I still could not walk straight, much less run in a consecutive path.
He grabbed my arm, forcing me to face him, "Where are you going?"
"Doesn't matter as long as it's not here."
"Let me get the keys. I'm taking you home."
I wanted to protest, but I couldn't form the words in my brain that would make sense. I just stood there while Keith went for his coat and keys.
I didn't wait for him to come back. The door was calling me like the Sirens from The Odyssey. I could not disappoint the door. I made a run for it, running through the door, past Keith's truck and Dan's pretty rich-boy car, down the street and up the hill.
My heart was beating to fast. I didn't feel like I was running. It was more like gliding, but I would lose my footing and swerve to the side. My feet carried me all the way to a familiar house.
I pounded impatiently on the door, alternating between knocking and ringing the bell. It wasn't long before she came to the door, desperate to end the incessant ringing/knocking.
"Lucas! What are you doing here?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but ran to the bushes and threw up instead.
Brooke followed me to the bushes and rubbed my back.
"Are you okay? What's wrong with you? Why are you all out of breath? How did you get here?"
I shook my head, hoping that that would make it easier to process all the questions she just asked me. It didn't.
"Luke? Come inside."
I shook my head. "You hate me."
"I don't hate you. Shhhhh…you're sick. Come inside."
She didn't understand. I had to make her understand.
"You're going to hate me."
"Why would I hate you?" She steadied my shoulders. "You've been drinking."
"No, I mean yes. I mean, I cheated on you."
"What?" She stepped away, as if separating herself from me would make the statement not true.
"I cheated on you," I repeated.
"No, no you didn't. You're drunk. Come in and lay down. We'll talk later."
"I did! I cheated on you," It felt good to say it out loud. It wasn't a secret anymore.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"I slept with Peyton," I whispered.
"You what!" She yelled. I moved away. The sound made the ringing in my ear louder.
"Who's there, Brooke?" Peyton appeared in the doorway. I turned around. How did I not see Peyton's car in the driveway?
"Lucas!" Peyton exclaimed in a bad way.
"You slept with Lucas!" Brooke shouted.
"I- I-" Peyton stuttered, looking desperately at me for a clue what to do. I didn't have one.
"We were drunk," I tried to explain, but my head was spinning. I turned to look at Brooke, but she had two angry faces instead of one. The effects of the alcohol were really kicking in.
"I don't care! When! When did this happen?"
That question required thought. I couldn't formulate coherent sentences, much less do the simple math that it took to answer her question.
"About two weeks ago," Peyton answered quietly for me.
Brooke turned around and walked back into the house, slamming the door behind her.
Peyton looked at me and then looked down again. I didn't have a chance to say anything before Brooke poked her head out the door. "Don't bother talking to me. I don't want to have anything to do with either one of you." The doorframe reverberated with the force of the second slam, leaving Peyton and me standing out in the cold together.
Note: I've been feeling kinda angsty lately. But that's changing, so next chapter should be happier. I promise.
I haven't written the next part yet, so I'm open to suggestions. Should Peyton and Brooke forgive Lucas?