The Eyes of My Beholder
Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce, that queen of fantasy, owns Tortall and everyone in it. The song is not mine either, I'm not sure who it belongs to, but I do know Lucy Kaplansky sang it on her album Tide, I highly recommend it.
Note: Thank you to Leryea, my best friend and my beta, you're the best you know that!
Chapter 2
Kel leaned on her closed door, her breathing slightly faster than normal. She still didn't know why in the Goddess's name she had kissed Dom, but she had and you couldn't change the past! She shook her head and turned the lock on her door, she just needed to think right now.
She grabbed one of the Yamani waving kittens off her shelf and looked at it, it was brown furred with sapphire-blue eyes. Kel glared at it's smiling face. "Why do I always pick you up when I'm mad?" she demanded of the porcelain figure. She knew it wouldn't reply, but it felt good to ask.
She slipped to figure back into its place on the shelf, between a pure white one with blue eyes and a black one with yellow-green ones. Sometimes Kel felt like they were her only friends. No, I have many friends! Kel thought, slightly annoyed that her conscience wouldn't let her have the last word.
Kel sighed loudly and flung herself onto her bed. She grabbed a book sitting on her bedside table. She glanced at the title, Tortall's King's and Their Accomplishments, and threw it across the room. A split second before it hit the door, someone pounded on it. Startled, she shouted, "Come, wait, who is it?" and fell off the bed a thud.
A deep voice boomed, "It's just your former knight-master, Keladry!"
"The reports!" Kel squeaked; they weren't finished!
Raoul laughed, "No, not about the reports, Lady Knight, a sergeant of mine told me you had a slight run-in in the stables."
Kel glared at the closed door, of course Dom would have told Raoul about Cleon. Mithros curse his guts! Kel thought bitterly. "My lo—Raoul, are there any other reasons you came to see me?" Kel asked sweetly.
"Oh, yes, I've brought you something I thing you will enjoy. Now if you'll open the door, I'll give it to you," Raoul said.
"But, Raoul, my birthday isn't for another two weeks!" Kel exclaimed. She crossed to her door and opened it slightly, checking it was really Sir Raoul, of course it was. She widened to door so he could get into her room.
Kel closed door quickly and turned to Raoul. In his hand was a bright orange ball of fur and it was purring. "Raoul!" Kel squealed, "Thank you! What's its name? Is it male of female?"
The big knight smiled, "It is a female and a right terror too! I've left it to you to decide her name. I have to give her to you now, because of the slight complication of myself; Buri; the Riders and some of the Own are going down to the Tyran border day after tomorrow. We are leaving three units behind to hold down the fort, you know?"
Kel nodded, "So you won't be here over my birthday. What sergeants will be staying here?"
Raoul grinned, "I knew you would ask that, Kel. I've decided Sergeant Domitan should stay behind."
Kel's eyes widened, "How-how come, sir?"
Raoul snorted, "Keladry, do you think I'm blind? I've seen the way your eyes light up when he enters a room, or when someone mentions him. He should be here to see you turn 21!"
Kel squealed and hurled herself into Raoul's arms. "Thank you so much, Raoul!" she whispered. Raoul nodded as Kel composed herself.
"It's my pleasure Keladry," he told her softly before he turned and walked out of her rooms.
Kel blinked at her orange kitten that was sitting on her bed. It gazed solemnly at her with huge sea-blue eyes. "Hello, little one," Kel murmured and scooped the fuzz ball into her lap; the kitten dig needle sharp claws into her thigh.
Kel yelped, suddenly reminded of the griffin she had cared for most for her squire years. Now that she thought about it, the kitten and the griffin were the same colour. "I might just call you Griffin!" Kel told her new pet.
The kitten, Griffin, half mewed half growled in response. Kel laughed aloud as Griffin jumped—fell really—off her bed. Griffin growled and skittered across the floor, bumping into Kel's chest of drawers.
For the second time, someone pounded on her door. Kel knew that knock well, very well. "Come in, Neal!" The door creaked open and her best friend appeared. Griffin hissed fiercely and ran over to the open door. The floor being slick ruined the crazed effect Griffin was trying to pose. She skidded, making her slide crazily out the door and into the opposite wall.
Griffin hit the wall head on and flipped over. She glared at Kel, her huge eyes slightly unfocused. "Neal, meet Griffin my new cat, Raoul gave her to me," Kel explained, seeing her friend's shocked face.
"I see why you call her 'Griffin'!" Neal exclaimed. "She is like that crazy griffin you had when we were squires!"
Kel grinned, "That would be why she is called Griffin." Griffin stumbled back into Kel's room, her orange fur rumpled. Kel stooped, careful that her fingers weren't in the way of the kitten's paws or jaws.
"Hear you got trapped in the stables," Neal commented nonchalantly. Kel glared at him and shut the door with a snap.
"Has that story been all over the palace?" Kel grumbled.
"Yup!" Neal said happily.
Kel hissed, "Why is that a good thing?"
Neal shrugged, "Because now half the palace is mad at Cleon and the other half is furious with him, and no one will talk to him."
Kel smirked, that phrase was all too familiar. She remembered what had happened that night very clearly.
Flashback
Kel sat on her bed, a book in her hand. Tears ran down her face, she and her friend and ex-lover Cleon had gotten into a huge fight, mostly over Kel's new obsession, bandit hunting.
Someone pounded on her door, rather loudly. "Yes?" Kel called, hastily wiping tears off her face.
"Op'n th' dur!" a rather loud male voice slurred. Kel stood up and crossed to the door. Unlocking it, she peered out. Cleon was leaning against the door, staring at her door.
"Hello, Cleon," Kel said slightly nervously. He stumbled into her, forcing her back into her room. He had always been big, but when he was falling over her, he felt about five hundred pounds.
"Cleon!" Kel yelped as he pinned her against a wall. "Cleon, what are you doing?"
"Tell meh, that yeh love meh!" Cleon snarled. Before Kel could respond, he pressed his lips to hers. She could taste alcohol on his breath.
Shock filled her. Cleon was drunk! He's drunk and he's trying to make me tell him that I love him, the thought registered in Kel's mind suddenly. Her Yamani and knight training suddenly took over.
Kel aimed a kick at his shins. He grunted as her foot connected solidly with bone. She threw him off her by grabbing his hands and twisting quickly to the right, throwing him off balance.
Every time she got him away, he'd keep coming back at her. Apparently all that her cursed brother had taught him was coming out. This is sad! Kel thought bitterly. I'm fighting a drunk that just happens to be Cleon, and he's fighting back with moves my brother taught him!
At that moment his fist connected with the side of her head. She passed out with an acute pain in the temples.
Hours later, Cleon finally managed to crawl out of Kel's room. He was sober enough to tell the Priestess of the Goddess that he woke up in Keladry's room and she was blacked out next to him. They both showed signs of a fight, but he didn't know what had happened.
She woke up at the noon bell that day with a pounding headache. She remembered clearly what had happened and she admitted it to court. Even the conservatives who hated Kel wouldn't talk to Cleon for a month. If they had to talk about him they called him, 'The Knight Abuser'.
His reputation was ruined and Kel had always been afraid to speak to him since. She was petrified about the very thought of anything like that happening again.
End Flashback
Kel shuttered at the thought of that horrid three weeks. She squeezed her eyes shut to hold back tears.
"Kel? Are you alright?" Neal asked worriedly. "You look green."
Kel opened her eyes and looked in her mirror. Neal was right she was green. "I'm fine," she mumbled. "Just thinking about—about—about..." She couldn't finish her sentence, but Neal knew what she was talking about.
Swiftly, he crossed the room and enveloped her in his arms. She squeezed her eyes shut again, but the tears escaped through her closed eyelids. Neal patted her back comfortingly, he had been the one to find Kel unconscious on the floor, with new bruises on her face and neck.
A knock on her door made them spring apart. "What is it with visitors today?" Kel grumbled. She opened her door slightly and peered out. Lady Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau stood there, her violet eyes blazing.
"Lady Alanna!" Kel squeaked. Neal choked from behind her.
"Hello Keladry," Alanna said briskly. She raised her eyebrows at Kel who was still standing in the door.
"Right," Kel said with a small laugh, she moved and turned, Neal was nowhere to be seen, but her window was swinging open. Typical, Kel thought, his former knight-mistress comes into a room and he flees!
"Hello Alanna," Kel said pleasantly, "anything I can do for you?"
The other lady knight grinned at Kel, "Nothing much, just wondering how you were doing. You looked frazzled when I saw leave the stables with Sergeant Domitan earlier today."
Kel's eyes widened in horror. "You saw that?" she muttered. Alanna nodded and Kel swore.
"Don't feel bad, Kel. I don't hold it against you," Alanna assured her.
Kel gulped, "What ever you say, Lioness. Hey, I'm feeling restless, will you tilt with me?"
Alanna's eyebrows rose, "Is that a challenge?"
Kel nodded, "Yes Sir Lioness, it is. I'll meet you on the jousting field by next bell." The knights left Kel's room together then separated. Kel to go to the King's Own stables where she still kept Peachblossom and Hoshi and Alanna went to the Queen's Rider's stables, where she kept Darkmoon and Moonlight when she was in Corus.
Kel sighed as she re-saddled Peachblossom. The big gelding butted her arm nervously with his nose; he could tell she was nervous. "I here ye're fasin' Lady Alanna in a tiltin' competition," someone said behind Kel.
She knew the voice very well, "Hello Stefan. Word really does fly in the palace doesn't it?" Stefan knew she was talking to herself, but he answered anyway.
"Aye that it does Lady Kel. When I was yer age, and Lady Alanna was 'Page Alan', that was the only secret in the palace. Course there was also the Duke Rodger problem. Ye know, the only one who didn't trust him in the entire palace war the Lioness?
"He was the one who reviled her!" Kel was glad Stefan had stopped talking. Of course she knew all this! With her history teacher as a page being Alanna's adoptive father she would have to know.
But now that she thought about it, he never really talked to the class about his famous adoptive-daughter; it would be a little too much like boasting for Sir Myles. Kel finished with Peachblossom and started putting on her own armour. Five minutes before the bell tolled, Kel led her horse to the waiting area.
She didn't expect anyone to be in the stands, but she could see Neal and Yuki, Dom, Cleon, Merric, Owen, Prince Roald and Princess Shinkokami, Raoul and his wife Buriram or Buri and, she heart nearly stopped, King Jonathan and Queen Thayet.
She noticed someone who looked like Baron George Cooper on Pirate's Swoop standing with a man her age and two teenagers, one male, the other female. Of course, Raoul said Alanna brought her family this time. The oldest would be Thom, right? Kel thought, realisation hitting her like a mallet.
Alanna entered the waiting area on the other side of the field as a herald approached Kel. "Keladry, you do know you are about to tilt with the King's Champion don't you?" Kel nodded patiently, she was ready, last year she had almost unhorsed Lord Wyldon, the Lioness couldn't be any worse than that, could she?
Kel waived off the anxious herald and rode to the start of her lane; Alanna mimicked her. Kel nodded and the trumpet sounded.
"Charge!" she muttered needlessly to Peachblossom, he had already started pounding down the field. Kel stood in her stirrups and brought her lance down. She focused on the centre of Alanna's shield.
They came together in a reverberating impact, both lances shattering in showers of wood. Kel heard a cry of, "Come on Kel! Unhorse her! She's got to be about 50 pounds lighter than you!" She smirked, Neal! His mouth always gets him in trouble!
She trotted back to the starting position, the trumpet sounded and Peachblossom took off again. This time when they came together Kel felt her lance hit Alanna's shield very hard and suddenly, she was pushing through thin air.
Looking up, Kel was startled to see the Lioness falling to earth with a thud and a puff of dust. "Oh, Mithros help me, I've unhorsed the Lioness and the King's Champion!" Kel muttered. Hastily, she dismounted Peachblossom and rushed to help Alanna.
"Last time I ever tilt against the Protector of the Small!" Alanna exclaimed moodily a few hours after the tilting incident.
"I am so sorry!" Kel exclaimed for the hundredth time. All of Kel and Alanna's friends were gathered in Kel's rooms.
"Alanna, I have never seen you fly so high and far!" King Jonathan said, his bright blue eyes twinkling with amusement. He, Thayet, George, Roald and Shinkokami were sitting around Kel and Alanna. Mostly they were teasing the Lioness, though Kel got her fair share too.
"The look on Keladry's face when she unhorsed Lady Alanna was most amusing!" Shinkokami teased. Kel grabbed the fan Shinko left on the table beside her. Opening it, she hid the lower half of her face in mock embarrassment. Shinko burst out laughing at the sight.
"I can't say I've ever seen Alanna unhorsed like that!" George exclaimed, earning himself a withering glare form his wife.
Thayet sighed, "It was quite a show, I must admit, the last time Alanna tilted against someone and lost was against Lord Raoul. The time before that it was... Jon, who was it?"
The King grinned at the memory; "It was Wyldon, if I recall correctly. Yes, it was about to days before you, Keladry, wrote saying you wanted to be a page. May have been one of the reasons he was angry that day."
Alanna stood, "If you all are going to remind me of that then guess what? I'll have you all remember when a 20-year-old knight almost unhorsed him last year! It's just not fair!"
" 'Nothing in this world is fair!'" Kel and Shinko quoted in unison.
Yowling could be heard from behind Kel's dressing room door. Kel stood quickly explaining that she had to tend to her new kitten. At the word 'kitten', Alanna, Thayet and Shinko jumped up as well. "We want to see it!" Thayet explained. "Raoul told me all about the little devil, but I never got a chance to see it."
Kel led them into the dressing room. Griffin sat on top of a tattered blanket. Kel whistled through her teeth. "That blanket was whole when I left a few hours ago," she told her onlookers.
Alanna smiled at the bright orange kitten. "What's her name?"
Kel watched Griffin tear up a corner of the blanket; very glad she had named the kitten appropriately. "I called her Griffin," she said.
Thayet and Shinko nodded their approval and Alanna said, "A fitting name."
Kel smiled, and heard glass shatter in the other room.
Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! 12 reviews my not seem that much but it's a record for me!! Thank you all so much!!Darking Queen: Thanks for that. I don't like Cleon either, that's why I made him evil here.
Midnight Knight: Hope the flashback answered your question. And Kel's not exactly mad at Cleon per say, more scared of him.
Atlanta Enchanted: I'm glad you liked the Owen remark! This chapter I tried to do as you suggested, did it work?? It's just hard for me to make short paragraphs. You know how that goes. ï