Title: Infinity
Chapter Title: Pieces
Summary: AU, Naruto transfers to a new high school and makes new friends, enemies, and runs into an old lover
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Suffocating, sinking further almost every day
Barely treading, water knowing I will not give up
I WILL NOT GIVE UP!
Pieces - Hoobastank
Naruto, after school, ran home and got out his directory, looking up Gaara's address. He walked the fairly short distance to Gaara's house. When he got there, though, he stopped. He briefly wondered who Gaara lived with.
Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the house and knocked on the door. He had to wait a few seconds before it swung open revealing a boy with purple face paint on. He glared at Naruto for a few seconds before a blonde-haired girl shoved him out of the way.
"Stop scaring people Kankuro," she said, turning to Naruto, "Can I help you." Naruto looked her over. She had hair pulled back in large spiky puff balls on the back of her head, and seemed to bear no resemblance to Gaara except for their taste in clothes. She wore mass amounts of chains, leather, buckles, zippers, and fishnet.
"I . . . um . . ." Naruto stuttered, blushing. She looked at him closer.
"Are you Naruto?" she asked. Naruto nodded, and she smiled. "Well, come in then." As she was leading Naruto into the kitchen, Kankuro came up behind them.
"Gaara's gonna kill you," he said, laughing to himself as he went upstairs.
"Ignore him," the girl said. "By the way, I'm Temari, Gaara's older sister." She took him into the kitchen and they sat down at the small table. "So you have a crush on my brother?" she asked, and Naruto flinched at her bluntness. He chose to nod silently.
"Well, you should just give up," she said, frowning. "Gaara has issues, and he likes other people's pain. He will not stop hurting you even if you beg him to."
"I can't give up," Naruto mumbled.
"And why not?" Temari asked, glaring at Naruto. Naruto gulped and met her eyes.
"Because I don't give up that easily," Naruto said, clearly.
Temari stood up and grabbed him by his collar, lifting him off the ground. "Do you know what he'll do to you? Do you know how many others have tried? You don't even know him, do you?"
"I don't care what he does to me," Naruto said. "And I don't care who else has tried. I'm not trying to change him. I'm trying to love him!"
Temari released her hold and Naruto tumbled to the ground. "Then maybe, maybe you could," she said, and smiled, lifting Naruto to his feet. She leaned and whispered in his ear, "Gaara likes pain because he's been put through too much and needs to make others suffer for it. You hurt him and I will personally make your life a living hell."
Naruto nodded, and grinned. "Believe me, I don't give up that easily."
"The best way to get to him is to offer him friendship, and let him get to know you, don't try to hide anything, he hates that. Complete honesty is key. He doesn't like crowds of people so if you ever offer to hang out with him, choose someplace secluded. I'll give you a ride to where he's working."
As Temari and Naruto were leaving, Naruto saw Kankuro standing on the stairs with his mouth open in shock. Naruto stuck his tongue out, and slammed the door behind him.
She dropped him off in front of the store, and as soon as he was out of her car, she drove away. Gently he opened the door, the sound of a ringing bell alerting all inside that someone was entering.
He looked around and there was Gaara, glaring at him from behind the counter. He walked up to the counter and grinned, Gaara just continued glaring at him.
"Who told you I worked here?" he asked. Naruto remembered what Temari had said about honesty so he stopped himself before he lied.
"If I tell you are you going to kill them?" Naruto asked, Gaara sighed.
"No, I won't."
"Shikamaru told me, but your older sister gave me a ride."
"You met Temari?" Gaara seemed shocked.
"Yeah, and Kankuro, who evidently doesn't like me," Naruto said, rolling his eyes. Gaara sighed, and Naruto realized how tired he looked. "Listen Gaara, I'm sorry for stalking you like this, but . . . can you at least give me friendship? I-I just need to be around you."
"You probably won't leave me alone until I say yes, right?" Gaara asked and Naruto smiled slightly and nodded. "Fine, but only friendship."
Naruto grinned. "Thank you."
Gaara waved to the store. "You can look around until my shift is over." Naruto started walking through the shelves, leafing through any books that looked interesting. The store was fairly small, but it had some odd books that you wouldn't be able to find anywhere else.
Naruto looked up from his browsing when the door opened and a man walked in. He nearly gasped when he realized it was Kakashi-sensei.
"Ah, Kakashi," he heard Gaara say. "Welcome back, your books are in the back."
Kakashi-sensei went through the shelves a grabbed a book. He turned and spotted Naruto and grinned.
"Hey, Naruto, what are you doing here?"
"Hanging out with a friend," Naruto said bravely. Kakashi-sensei turned and looked at Gaara and frowned slightly. He patted Naruto on the head.
"Good luck kid." Naruto sighed at the comment. He needed all the luck he could get with Gaara. He briefly looked down and noticed that Kakashi was buying another of his Make Out Paradise books.
He continued browsing the shelves and before he knew it Gaara was next to him.
"Want to go across the street for ice cream?" he asked, and Naruto nodded happily. They went across and bought ice cream, sitting in one of the booths.
"So Gaara," Naruto said in an attempt to make conversation. "How was your day?" Gaara just looked up at him.
"Other than being stalked, pretty good," he said, voice a complete monotone.
"Oh, that would be me, ne?" Naruto asked with a laugh.
"Where did you move here from?" Gaara asked, and Naruto once again had to remind himself to be completely honest or he would have replied with his customary response, 'nowhere important.'
"I attended this massively strict boarding school. It was almost military-style," he said.
"Why'd you leave?" Naruto blushed, beginning to feel like he was in an interrogation, but he also felt like Gaara was testing him. He'd know if Naruto lied, and if Naruto did, he would know the blonde wasn't worth his trouble.
"Itachi went to a school not far away. We got into a fight, and I got expelled for it. My mom decided to send me here after that. She said she hoped that I would do better in a regular high school, but that she had little hope for me," it was rough putting it into words, but he managed to keep himself from crying. He hadn't cried for his mother's love in a few years.
"What did you fight over?"
Naruto, in favor of saying anything, reached up and undid the spiked choker around his neck. Gaara very nearly gasped at the sight of a long, thin scar running along his neck.
"Itachi nearly killed me, and I dumped him," Naruto said, voice gaining that monotone quality that only people who have separated themselves enough from a traumatic experience can gain. It was the voice of someone who knew enough pain to no longer be able to separate from pleasure. The voice of someone who almost gave up on life. "It was slightly afterwards that he called me to try to get me back. I told him I was trying to go without the pain, but that didn't last long."
Gaara was silent, but Naruto knew what Gaara was thinking. He was pitying him, damn it. He didn't need pity. Naruto had enough of that, thank you very much.
"Don't pity me," Naruto said.
"What?" Gaara looked up, but Naruto was glaring into his ice cream.
"Don't pity me. I don't need pity. I brought it upon myself."
"You couldn't have-"
"I begged him to, damn it, Gaara, but I didn't think he really would go that far!" Naruto nearly screamed, tears hovering at the surface of his eyes. "I had just gotten into a fight with my mom, and I . . . I dunno . . . I just lost it," Naruto whispered. "I asked him to kill me, and he tried."
Naruto finally met Gaara's eyes. Gaara eyes spoke more than volumes. For the first time Naruto wondered that maybe Gaara had the right idea about communicating silently. For in Gaara's eyes, Naruto felt more comfort in that silence, than all the comforting words in the world could bring him.
"Do you still love him?" Gaara asked, and Naruto almost automatically said no, but stopped himself. Honesty. Then he started to say yes, but that wasn't the truth either.
"I don't know if I ever loved him, and I don't know if I still love him," Naruto said, and he pleaded with his eyes for Gaara to trust him.
Gaara slightly nodded, and they finished eating their ice cream in silence.
"Do you want a ride home?" Gaara asked, and Naruto nodded.
They rode home in silence, but it was neither a comforting silence, nor an uncomfortable one. It was based on the fact that the silence was just comforting enough that neither wanted to break it, but uncomfortable enough that it felt awkward.
"Thank you," Naruto said when Gaara dropped him off at his apartment building, and Naruto didn't ask him inside.
His conversation with Gaara had given him an epiphany. Maybe he wasn't ready to date Gaara yet, and wounds that he had thought had healed needed to be reopened, examined for the lingering infection that comes after bad wounds. They needed to be healed and sown back up properly, with love and affection.
He went inside and went instantly to the closet. Inside there was a box that he hadn't unpacked yet.
He took scissors from the kitchen and cut the tape off, opening up the flaps. Inside were memories that came with him everywhere he'd traveled.
A lava lamp that had been his mother's. A picture of his mother and father, smiling and waving at the camera. Comic books that had belonged to his father. Near the bottom, he found the will his father had left.
"All my assets shall go to Uzumaki Naruto when he is eighteen. Until then, they are to remain untouched in the bank," it read in bold lettering. He hugged the scrap of paper to his chest, but set it aside with the rest.
At the very bottom sat a scrapbook. Naruto opened it and blew the dust off. Inside he kept all the school pictures he'd ever had, along with the pictures his friends had given him.
He called the numbers on the backs of all the pictures, asking how his former friends had been since he'd left, how his old gangs were faring. They all sounded glad to hear from him, and slightly relieved to hear that he was okay.
At last, he came to the picture he had of Itachi. Gently, he took out the box of matches he had and lit one. Slowly, he burnt a hole where Itachi's face was.
Then, he went to the window and tossed the picture out. The night was windy and it floated away a ways before finally landing.
Naruto stayed up late that night, and he could afford to because it was a Friday, just staring out the window. Sometimes he watched how the wind blew the picture along the ground. Sometimes he watched the moon, almost full but still slightly imperfect, but still shining brightly with the sun's light.
It wasn't until around midnight that the tears began to fall. He let himself cry, sobbing about all the injustices that he had gone through over the years.
His father. His mother. Itachi.
He shrank into himself and cried for at least an hour. When in fact he did stop, he looked up, past the moon and into the stars.
He closed his eyes and wished a hundred times on the stars, hoping they could send him some happiness.
He walked into his bedroom and fell asleep almost instantly, but if you had looked at him, laying there asleep, you would see a smile on his face.
End Chapter 3
"Star light, Star bright, only hope in darkest night, I wish I may, I wish I might, to die and fall into the light"