THIS IS CHAPTER 3the OTHER editionread the note right under this long title.
AGAIN, another shot at CHAPTER 3.
Okay, this is my alternate chapter. Since the last chapter was a little confusing to some, here's my lame attempt at the same chapter, but MAYBE a different plot (listening to 100 Years) and in first person perspective. Watch out people, here's Fuji.
Drifting. I'm drifting away… away from everything that makes life so cruel and painful. Ryoma's still sleeping soundly, even as I turn off the lights. I gently let go of his hand and put a pillow into his arms for him to snuggle to.
He's adorable asleep… I can't help thinking that. But I'm not SUPPOSED to think about things like that. It's just so hard…
If I come any closer to Ryoma… he'll end up hurt.
No. I must leave soon. My mind has been made up. If I don't leave… I don't know what would happen. I don't know if I can take this anymore. It's just been TOO blissful sleeping in his arms…
He thinks I don't notice whenever he wraps his arms around me… but he's wrong. I do notice… and it just hurts me more to know that it's what he needs… but he can't embrace me as often because of this wall… this fortress I've built around myself. But I can't tear it down. It's too hard…
Being all smiles is more my thing.
I know he's clawing at the barrier relentlessly… trying to reach me… but I doubt he can. There's just too much that's happened… I don't know…
I spare a glance at his still form, watching him as he turns in his peaceful slumber to hold onto the pillow tighter. Maybe another few days…
Yes. I am a coward. Afraid of my fears… my silly phobias. This is agony for him… but I'm selfish. I, Fuji Syuusuke, willingly call myself selfish. I don't know if I can give myself up… if I can take Ryoma… I don't know if I'm strong enough to overcome this fear.
Every time I see him like this, it's torture. I can't let go… or pull him closer. This is pathetic. I don't even know what I want to do… So I always say the same thing to myself… A few more days…
When will it end?
I begin walking towards the door and halted when a moan came from the white linen sheets.
"Unn… Fuji…" My blood freezes within my veins. What should I do? I see him shiver lightly. Placing one hand upon his forehead, the other on my own cheek, I check his temperature. It's warm. A little too warm. My brow wrinkles in worry as I check his breathing, my head going to his chest to hear for the steady beat, my finger right under his nose to check his inhalations.
They're abnormal.
"F-fuji…" he stutters beneath me as I continue my ministrations. His face contorts in fear or distress, I'm not entirely sure.
He's sweating… I start to panic, holding onto his hand with my right, and pulling the covers up to his chin to warm him.
"It's so cold…" he moans again. "… so dark…"
His head thrashes under my hold, arms struggling.
I swallow the knot within my throat and get into bed, underneath the sheets, and hold him to me, gently rocking him back and forth.
"Fuji…" his breathing has become a bit steadier, but I'm still worried. He gets like this sometimes… and during these times, my heart feels like breaking.
"Don't…" I hear his soft words as I continue to hold him, his head against my shoulder. "Don't…"
"Don't worry, I won't." I reply, not waiting to hear him through.
His breathing is normal, and as I check his temperature, I notice he's become better. He's calmer… less warm…
"Thank you…" his whisper is still soft, barely audible beneath the sounds of the city.
I guess I should just go back to sleep.
No. I don't love Ryoma. I need him.
But I'm afraid.
Fuji closes his eyes and falls asleep once more, holding Ryoma closely.
"… for not leaving me." Ryoma finally continues, eyes still lightly shut, voice unheard by his oblivious lover.
okay... opinions? this is CHAPTER 3remade. okay... i'm not sure which to actually MAKE the chapter 3... sooo... review to tell me which you preferred or any editing advice and such...
e-mail if u have questions. but IMS are also appreciated.
REVIEW. please read the note above if you have not yet done so.