Resident Evil: Hell on Earth Part 2
Chapter 5: Trouble at the base
After our heroes last exploit they had gone back to Florida where there new base was set up. It was a nice house they were renting, (only three rats) David had gotten a discount from the land lord. Female land lord.... *cough* *cough*
"Damnit!" Jill could be heard screaming throughout the entire home.
"The fuck she yelling about!" Shouted Curtis.
"Well look at her!" Responded David.
"Man she's fat..."
"She's pregnant you bitch!"
"The fuck, how did that happen?" (Pimp master David must have been caught without condoms...again.) Though David had them in a ready supply... "Apparently those Umbrella bitches have never heard about birth control." "Hey guys," A call was then coming in for the three. It was one of the other few (virgin *BS* *cough*) Raccoon City survivors. Chri-er Leon! "Claire and I located an Umbrella lab. It's up in Himalayas." "Leon...!" Claire could be heard in the background along with the rustling of covers. "Whoops! Gotta go score!" With the phone dead David and Curtis had their new target. "Mother fucker, time for pay back!" Shouted David readying his gatling gun.
"So how do we move Jill there...?" Asked Curtis."
"Hell I don't know. Slutlu er Sulu, the jet now, plot a course to the Himalayas!"
"I'm Gideon..."
"Shit!" With this, they hitched a ride with there new pilot, Gideon who was hired about five minutes go.
Chapter 6: Where are we again!?
"They are here..." Said one man watching the screen, "How many?" Questioned the nice Mr. Johnson creator of many Tyrants. "Three. They say to get the new ones ready." "Er, not sure if that's such a great idea...." "Do it!" "Fine, fine! Hard ass...." Meanwhile.... After arriving at Himalayas the group realized that they had no idea where the Umbrella lab was hidden. And because there pilot was nice enough to not wait (Leave em) it looked like they were stuck. Having been lost forever, (20 minutes) it became clear that Curtis would die of frost bite, David a lack of sex, and Jill from birth pains.
"Fuck! The tip of everything on me is going numb..." Said Curtis.
"Yeah... Where are we?" Asked David.
"..............." Jill collapsed on the ground tired making a metal clang.
"The hell?" Dusting the snow aside they found a porno magazine...
"Edition 38!" Said David.
"Um the path..."
"Er... oh yeah!" Besides the magazine there was also that metal path. It led upward, the Umbrella lab would be found! Now dragging the fat bitch-er Jill Curtis and David hurried along. "Now why do I have to drag her?" Complained Curtis. "Wait, shut up." "What!?" Two super Lickers then jumped them! A well placed Shotgun blast sent ones head flying off right back into the others head knocking it off as well (Didn't think they weren't going to have at least a little variety did you?). They then began to follow the path, working their way up the mountain. Beating the fuck out of Lickers and Hunters along the entire way. David got the idea of maybe making Hunter burgers to sell, but it was decided that was best left for later..
"Finally, reached the damn door." Said Curtis breathlessly. Mainly being tired from dragging Jill most of the way.
"Man, doors locked. Fuck that, Curtis blow that bitch open!"
"All right!" Blasting the door open they were then in. They were now entering the Umbrella lab...
Chapter 7: Enter the Tyrants! Breaking and entering (heh) they had a quick look around. The main area along with seemingly everywhere else was deserted. Luckily they found a side room with a bed in it. In which David could go about healing Jill by...... (This scene has been censored for your safety... This is an RE fanfic after all, not Pokemon manga... and movies!) With Jill now healed they ventured on. Jill hacking the lock as they came out into a test facility/training room.
"Welcome!" Said a voice over the PA system.
"The hell is this?" Shouted Jill.
"Yeah fucker! You better have something to help with our birth control problem here." Added David.
"Eheheheheheh *gasp* *cough* my inhalor!" Breathes in for a moment, "Ah yes... Anyway. You might have made it this far, but you wont get past out newest creations."
"Man bring it." Shouted Curtis in response "Beat that fucktard Nemisis. We can take whatever you can dish out." With this a massive door in front of them opened unleashing a Licker bigger then a car. Charging at them it shortly thereafter lost its head to a single shot from Curtis' rocket launcher. "Ew." "Nice. Upgraded that bitch again?" "Of course." This one was quickly followed by a larger Hunter. Only to have its torso blown off... It then rolled on the ground, wailing like a banshee that had been kicked in the nuts, as well as having a strange rubber thing shoved up it's posterior. (Ironic seeing as it must not them have any anymore...) "Ew once more.) "Heh, had enough?" The voice on the PA wailed across the room
"Really... I'm bored..." replied David, "Motherfucker you're dead!!!" With this, David loaded his gun, his boredom cured as the group was charged by waves of zombies.
"Die bastards!" Shouted Curtis while they all unloaded turning most of the undead into red meat in less then ten minutes.
"Fuckdom shall triumph!" Said Curtis as he flipped off the guy.
"Okay enough of this shit." Added David. "How in the hell does one keep all these bastards in here?"
"Lots of cages." Jill shrugged a bit as there newest challenge came. This time a door opened to reveal five Tyrtants in black trench coats. Walking out, all of them then stopped, a loud eighty's type music playing. The two Tyrants standing to the center Tyrants right and left then pointed out their hands colored lights coming on all of them as the center one threw his arms up putting his legs out. Sticking a finger up he then wiggled it another hand grabbing his crotch in a pedohplic Michael Jackson like style.
"Um...." David and Curtis pretty much agreed with Jill. Looking at each other David then tore the ugly shits legs out from under them Curtis taking two Tyrant's heads off. A dozen more then poured out getting break danced on by bullets along with the living hell beaten out of them in the process, mainly because the door they were coming through was only big enough for one to get through at a time. By the time they were done charred body's lied on the ground while they entered the control room.
Chapter 8: D-virus! Entering the room where the people running this shit hole should be, they instead found a dead body. Pushing it aside Jill then hacked the computer files to see what was going on.
D-type virus: The D-type is a new type of fully functioning virus. Unlike the G-type, whatever is infected by it grows in many ways, not only becoming immune to mass pain when it feels it, and growing, but also learning each time it evolves. So unlike the G-type which made monsters to aggressive these ones will aces things more like Nemesis. It is also stronger then the older ones. Capable of making new creatures to infect the old ones. However, it seems to be a bit flawed. Maybe having a few design errors we overlooked in making it. This will require further looking into...
"How is it these bunch of Parasol fags can mess up so many times?" Said Curtis finishing reading what it said.
"Who cares, just steal the data we need, and lets get out of here." Said David. Jill then began to work on this when the body they pushed aside moved. Getting back up tentacles burst from his body as he grew.
"Leonardo Dicapio has become a god! I knew throwing my lot in with Parasol would pay off."
"You mean Umbrella?" Asked Jill.
"Whatever..." With this the first highly injected human D-type super monster attacked!
"He must have injected himself then had himself shot so the shit could regenerate his cells. Take the shit kicker out!" Shouted Curtis raising his launcher.
With this, the group then proceeded to beat the fuck out of him. David repeatedly beating the bitch with his Gattling gun before Jill blew off the crumbs he called nuts. However they grew back bigger, as he became immune to the pain then mutated. Curtis and David proceeded to beat the living hell out of him. Bitch slapping him then blasting him repeatedly. "My turn!" He said shrugging all there shit off by regenerating more. Moving faster then either of them could blink he then pushed David back into the controls which looked like it hurt like hell. Curtis then proceeded to judo his ass. Pulling out fancier moves then the Matrix, only to have his opponent regenerate then hit him into the wall so hard that he was out. Things were bad...
"Shit! Get Curtis up."
"Right!" Responded Jill moving to him.
"No sex..."
"Aww..... Not even a hand job...."
"Eh no... Be, I don't know, friendly or something." Taking the Shotgun and Gattling Gun, David then attacked. Fighting the fucker like crazy it was a flurry of hits on both sides followed by bullets into the D-virus man who took viles of it inhaling it like Cid (FF7) inhaling cigarettes. Firing like mad David was eventually empty as he was knocked back.
"Now prepare to join..."
"Wait I'm straight." Said David who then saw a large trap door open behind the D-master.
"David!" Jill shot the fuck out of the monster. Curtis running up now in the game as they both punched at him.
Blocking the punches he then began to get knocked senseless. Taking similar attacks before a kick to his no longer existing crumbs sent him into the door.
"That was close." David spat down into the hole.
"Almost got man funked." Commented Curtis.
"Shut up... What's in there anyway...?"
"Man raping Tyrants." They both took a moment to snicker...
"Lets go!" Jill stole the nescerary data and set the place to blow. Running into the hangar they then hijacked a plane, quickly taking off and getting the hell out of there while the place blew up James Bond style, just right too.
"Think Decrapio will miss the wallet I picked off of him during that fight?" Asked Curtis grinning. With the plane on autopilot they had a chance to rest for soon they'd have a good vacation. David got sex, Jill got fucked again, there was still the whole pregnant thing but to hell to that for now, and Curtis got to get drunk from the miniature bar in the plane. However... There was more too it then they might think...
To be continued....
Again this story was written by Exavier with help from Supersonic and an okay from NeoBird 436. I still don't own RE, never will either, all the made up characters and such belong to us however.
Chapter 5: Trouble at the base
After our heroes last exploit they had gone back to Florida where there new base was set up. It was a nice house they were renting, (only three rats) David had gotten a discount from the land lord. Female land lord.... *cough* *cough*
"Damnit!" Jill could be heard screaming throughout the entire home.
"The fuck she yelling about!" Shouted Curtis.
"Well look at her!" Responded David.
"Man she's fat..."
"She's pregnant you bitch!"
"The fuck, how did that happen?" (Pimp master David must have been caught without condoms...again.) Though David had them in a ready supply... "Apparently those Umbrella bitches have never heard about birth control." "Hey guys," A call was then coming in for the three. It was one of the other few (virgin *BS* *cough*) Raccoon City survivors. Chri-er Leon! "Claire and I located an Umbrella lab. It's up in Himalayas." "Leon...!" Claire could be heard in the background along with the rustling of covers. "Whoops! Gotta go score!" With the phone dead David and Curtis had their new target. "Mother fucker, time for pay back!" Shouted David readying his gatling gun.
"So how do we move Jill there...?" Asked Curtis."
"Hell I don't know. Slutlu er Sulu, the jet now, plot a course to the Himalayas!"
"I'm Gideon..."
"Shit!" With this, they hitched a ride with there new pilot, Gideon who was hired about five minutes go.
Chapter 6: Where are we again!?
"They are here..." Said one man watching the screen, "How many?" Questioned the nice Mr. Johnson creator of many Tyrants. "Three. They say to get the new ones ready." "Er, not sure if that's such a great idea...." "Do it!" "Fine, fine! Hard ass...." Meanwhile.... After arriving at Himalayas the group realized that they had no idea where the Umbrella lab was hidden. And because there pilot was nice enough to not wait (Leave em) it looked like they were stuck. Having been lost forever, (20 minutes) it became clear that Curtis would die of frost bite, David a lack of sex, and Jill from birth pains.
"Fuck! The tip of everything on me is going numb..." Said Curtis.
"Yeah... Where are we?" Asked David.
"..............." Jill collapsed on the ground tired making a metal clang.
"The hell?" Dusting the snow aside they found a porno magazine...
"Edition 38!" Said David.
"Um the path..."
"Er... oh yeah!" Besides the magazine there was also that metal path. It led upward, the Umbrella lab would be found! Now dragging the fat bitch-er Jill Curtis and David hurried along. "Now why do I have to drag her?" Complained Curtis. "Wait, shut up." "What!?" Two super Lickers then jumped them! A well placed Shotgun blast sent ones head flying off right back into the others head knocking it off as well (Didn't think they weren't going to have at least a little variety did you?). They then began to follow the path, working their way up the mountain. Beating the fuck out of Lickers and Hunters along the entire way. David got the idea of maybe making Hunter burgers to sell, but it was decided that was best left for later..
"Finally, reached the damn door." Said Curtis breathlessly. Mainly being tired from dragging Jill most of the way.
"Man, doors locked. Fuck that, Curtis blow that bitch open!"
"All right!" Blasting the door open they were then in. They were now entering the Umbrella lab...
Chapter 7: Enter the Tyrants! Breaking and entering (heh) they had a quick look around. The main area along with seemingly everywhere else was deserted. Luckily they found a side room with a bed in it. In which David could go about healing Jill by...... (This scene has been censored for your safety... This is an RE fanfic after all, not Pokemon manga... and movies!) With Jill now healed they ventured on. Jill hacking the lock as they came out into a test facility/training room.
"Welcome!" Said a voice over the PA system.
"The hell is this?" Shouted Jill.
"Yeah fucker! You better have something to help with our birth control problem here." Added David.
"Eheheheheheh *gasp* *cough* my inhalor!" Breathes in for a moment, "Ah yes... Anyway. You might have made it this far, but you wont get past out newest creations."
"Man bring it." Shouted Curtis in response "Beat that fucktard Nemisis. We can take whatever you can dish out." With this a massive door in front of them opened unleashing a Licker bigger then a car. Charging at them it shortly thereafter lost its head to a single shot from Curtis' rocket launcher. "Ew." "Nice. Upgraded that bitch again?" "Of course." This one was quickly followed by a larger Hunter. Only to have its torso blown off... It then rolled on the ground, wailing like a banshee that had been kicked in the nuts, as well as having a strange rubber thing shoved up it's posterior. (Ironic seeing as it must not them have any anymore...) "Ew once more.) "Heh, had enough?" The voice on the PA wailed across the room
"Really... I'm bored..." replied David, "Motherfucker you're dead!!!" With this, David loaded his gun, his boredom cured as the group was charged by waves of zombies.
"Die bastards!" Shouted Curtis while they all unloaded turning most of the undead into red meat in less then ten minutes.
"Fuckdom shall triumph!" Said Curtis as he flipped off the guy.
"Okay enough of this shit." Added David. "How in the hell does one keep all these bastards in here?"
"Lots of cages." Jill shrugged a bit as there newest challenge came. This time a door opened to reveal five Tyrtants in black trench coats. Walking out, all of them then stopped, a loud eighty's type music playing. The two Tyrants standing to the center Tyrants right and left then pointed out their hands colored lights coming on all of them as the center one threw his arms up putting his legs out. Sticking a finger up he then wiggled it another hand grabbing his crotch in a pedohplic Michael Jackson like style.
"Um...." David and Curtis pretty much agreed with Jill. Looking at each other David then tore the ugly shits legs out from under them Curtis taking two Tyrant's heads off. A dozen more then poured out getting break danced on by bullets along with the living hell beaten out of them in the process, mainly because the door they were coming through was only big enough for one to get through at a time. By the time they were done charred body's lied on the ground while they entered the control room.
Chapter 8: D-virus! Entering the room where the people running this shit hole should be, they instead found a dead body. Pushing it aside Jill then hacked the computer files to see what was going on.
D-type virus: The D-type is a new type of fully functioning virus. Unlike the G-type, whatever is infected by it grows in many ways, not only becoming immune to mass pain when it feels it, and growing, but also learning each time it evolves. So unlike the G-type which made monsters to aggressive these ones will aces things more like Nemesis. It is also stronger then the older ones. Capable of making new creatures to infect the old ones. However, it seems to be a bit flawed. Maybe having a few design errors we overlooked in making it. This will require further looking into...
"How is it these bunch of Parasol fags can mess up so many times?" Said Curtis finishing reading what it said.
"Who cares, just steal the data we need, and lets get out of here." Said David. Jill then began to work on this when the body they pushed aside moved. Getting back up tentacles burst from his body as he grew.
"Leonardo Dicapio has become a god! I knew throwing my lot in with Parasol would pay off."
"You mean Umbrella?" Asked Jill.
"Whatever..." With this the first highly injected human D-type super monster attacked!
"He must have injected himself then had himself shot so the shit could regenerate his cells. Take the shit kicker out!" Shouted Curtis raising his launcher.
With this, the group then proceeded to beat the fuck out of him. David repeatedly beating the bitch with his Gattling gun before Jill blew off the crumbs he called nuts. However they grew back bigger, as he became immune to the pain then mutated. Curtis and David proceeded to beat the living hell out of him. Bitch slapping him then blasting him repeatedly. "My turn!" He said shrugging all there shit off by regenerating more. Moving faster then either of them could blink he then pushed David back into the controls which looked like it hurt like hell. Curtis then proceeded to judo his ass. Pulling out fancier moves then the Matrix, only to have his opponent regenerate then hit him into the wall so hard that he was out. Things were bad...
"Shit! Get Curtis up."
"Right!" Responded Jill moving to him.
"No sex..."
"Aww..... Not even a hand job...."
"Eh no... Be, I don't know, friendly or something." Taking the Shotgun and Gattling Gun, David then attacked. Fighting the fucker like crazy it was a flurry of hits on both sides followed by bullets into the D-virus man who took viles of it inhaling it like Cid (FF7) inhaling cigarettes. Firing like mad David was eventually empty as he was knocked back.
"Now prepare to join..."
"Wait I'm straight." Said David who then saw a large trap door open behind the D-master.
"David!" Jill shot the fuck out of the monster. Curtis running up now in the game as they both punched at him.
Blocking the punches he then began to get knocked senseless. Taking similar attacks before a kick to his no longer existing crumbs sent him into the door.
"That was close." David spat down into the hole.
"Almost got man funked." Commented Curtis.
"Shut up... What's in there anyway...?"
"Man raping Tyrants." They both took a moment to snicker...
"Lets go!" Jill stole the nescerary data and set the place to blow. Running into the hangar they then hijacked a plane, quickly taking off and getting the hell out of there while the place blew up James Bond style, just right too.
"Think Decrapio will miss the wallet I picked off of him during that fight?" Asked Curtis grinning. With the plane on autopilot they had a chance to rest for soon they'd have a good vacation. David got sex, Jill got fucked again, there was still the whole pregnant thing but to hell to that for now, and Curtis got to get drunk from the miniature bar in the plane. However... There was more too it then they might think...
To be continued....
Again this story was written by Exavier with help from Supersonic and an okay from NeoBird 436. I still don't own RE, never will either, all the made up characters and such belong to us however.