After hours, upon hours, upon hours, of flying they finally landed. David spent the entire damn trip getting banged while Curtis was either training or getting drunk.
"Man Curtis, the entire time we were coming here, you didn't do anything productive."
"Hey I don't see banging someone for nine hours straight as a goal in my life."
"In other words you can't get laid. Or, can't get it up, huh?"
"Man shut the fuck up. Bitch, where are we anyway?"
"Somewhere in the Caribbean according to this electronic map. Though it doesn't say where. Hang on."
While Jill busily typed away on the 1200 piece of crap computer installed on the plane, Curtis and David took a survey of the nearby area. Both of them taking note of a little town nearby.
"Got anything yet?" Asked Curtis.
"Nope..."
"Hang on!" David then proceeded to kick the computer. Seeing the sparks he beat the shit out of it until it wasn't working anymore.
"Hmm... My Xbox works when I kick it..." He muttered.
"Well lets get going." With this they all then headed off the plane. Along the way Jill happened to pass out into the sand (again.
"Think she's having birth pains or some shit..." Said Curtis.
"Lets just drag her..." So with this the two of them kept going, having to bear the big ass Launcher, Gatling Gun, and Jill. And the heat... Damn the Carribean!
A few hours later they came to realize what it was like to be dehydrated as well and how heat made mirages. Such as making city's appear closer then they actually were.
Puff "Finally," Puff "Made it," David looked around while Curtis was panting. "Now where is everyone?"
"Good question." Added Curtis... "Its quiet... too quiet..."
Five minutes later.
"We haven't found shit," Said Curtis surveying the town.
"Tell me about it, this place is empty as hell."
They both knew something was obviously up here. Most of the building had been checked.
"I'll go check this shit hole place." Said David, leaving Jill outside with Curtis for the moment while he went in. The building looked old and rundown as he looked around. Moving to the bottom floor he found an odd looking hairy man at a desk and woke him up.
"Hey buddy where the hell is everyone?"
"Uh... Oh yes, yes, yes. Welcome!"
"Er..."
The man seemed happy as he grinned. "Welcome sir low level hooker port. I imagine that you must have been told about it like all the other men." A light flashed in good ole David's brain.
"Ah... yeah..."
"Very good...! No other customers so you're the only for them all."
"How many is all?"
"Twenty."
"Woot! Lead the way."
Following the guy he went back to a metal door.
"Please, sir, your weapons, and step in."
"Right, right." Shrugging off most of his stuff then stepped in. The room dark as he searched for the light. His hand finding something nice, soft and round. Finding the light he turned it on a hooker indeed standing in front of him nude. Except for the fact that she was leaking blood from the mouth.
"Bastard. He said they were free. Not that they were dead!" (Technically the same I suppose. )
The light then went out.
Curtis was busy waiting when someone grabbed him from behind. The two of them in a large struggle as he hit the man. The uniform said U.C.B.S on it. Umbrella no doubt it seemed... Dodging a punch he smashed the man through the window of a building nearby.
"Sorry I like to do a lot of window shopping."
David then ran back up throwing a grenade behind him.
"Dave, your alive?"
"Yeah, man, picked the lock then did the old cut out the dudes eye, then throw it to the hungry hoes. Bitches wanted the rest."
"Umbrellas's here. Let's haul ass man."
Jill could be seen swaying as she got up.
"The hell..."
"Come on!" They both said grabbing her while running. Finding a small life boat near the shore they take it to leave... Jill taking notice of something approaching them.
"Guys... That looks like an Umbrella owned boat."
Chapter 10: Boarding
The men were looking through the binoculars at the small life boat. Of course aware that intruders had been spotted on the island. The captain zoomed in a bit, taking notice of a chick with huge melons on the lifeboat with barley anything on.
"Shit! Er, I mean, cough bring us alongside them quickly!"
They quickly came up next the little life boat as the men moved over to pull her in. A tarp on the bottom of it was thrown off as two soldiers were grabbed and thrown into the water.
"Surprise!" Began Curtis.
"Mother fuckers!" Ended David as they threw two more men off then climbed on. The two of them quickly went about showing the soldiers wimp assess real skills. Both taking Sub Machine Guns from the nearest soldier they took out then shooting more of them that ran up. Looking at one another they then ran forward. Ducking down to trip two more soldiers running at them before shooting the sorry bastards. Making several more men into living bullet holders. Within a few minutes though they had about fifty laser sights aimed at them. Damn.
"Fuck this..." Said Curtis dropping his guns as they had to give up. The captain merely grinning.
"Take them to the brig."
Chapter 11: Trapped and Escape
"Motherfucker, watch your hands."
Curtis was shoved in after saying this. David following as they looked over at the other captured people. One looking like the drunk dude from the movie Antz who talked of insect utopia. The other oddly resembling the pope reading a bible over a zombie corpse while some clown with fire on his head was eating the corpse... eww.
David just stared... "This is some sick shit."
"Tell me about it, we're going to have to be very, very hungry to eat here..."
"Oh holy lord," Said the priest (whatever) waving his bible. "Praise thy meat of thy lead... lord... give insane clowneth crazy strength. Bless thy father holy name," He coughed a bit taking out a bag of white stuff and smoking it.
"You guys must be new." The drunk guy motioned to David while sipping from a bottle he had. "Have to be careful to survive here."
David took the bottle then sniffed it before handing it back.
"That smells like a bottle of piss..."
"... er... ..."
Curtis tapped his foot on the ground then sighed. The clown growling while he looked at the corpse then the priest. Stabbing the priest he died in a religious spray of blood while the insane clown approached Curtis.
"Hey boy... you want me to cut you. I'll cut you! Oh yeah I'll so cut you. I'll cut you little pig stuffing mother bitch ass funny ass punk bitch lick meh dick knock me up and down pot smoker tree weeding guy!"
With this he lunged with the knife as Curtis promptly put a bullet through his head with a hidden gun. David then pointed a gun at the drunk man.
"Wait... I'm drunk!"
"No witnesses!"
The man then passed out as they shrugged. Going to unlock the door he was surprised when the jail cell door fell open.
"Guess they should have tried the frigging handle..."
It was quiet... For about two seconds before the guard noticed them.
"Hey you ah!" He then screamed when a zombie bit into his neck.
"Let's get the hell out of here!" Said Curtis as the two of them ran down the hall. Undead trying to grab them from the bars they busily beat the fuck out of anything that touched them. Breaking the twig ass arms like er twigs and drop kicking any zombies that got in their way.
"Man I could beat these guy's if I was in a comma." David was right too as they also saw a guy in a wheelchair and a comma go by and the zombies unable to bite him... Reaching the area with their guns they got armed and dangerous (heh) then headed out. Coming to an upper deck as a Tyrant confronted them. Curtis only nodded to David.
"Flip you for it."
Nodding the gatling gun wielder took a coin flipping it as Curtis took aim and blew the ugly bitch away. Another one then came up several bullets hitting the freaks legs while it fell. A man in his late twenty's walked over and fired a magnum into its head. Looking down at it he then flipped the lazy bitch off.
"Stay,"
"And you are...?"
"Chad, U.C.B.S. Actually working for a rival company to get info. I let the virus out. Partially because they were getting close to discovering me, and also to help you guys out. Simple reason why is because its interesting to see your performance against bio weapons. But now we need to get out of here."
Nodding, they both began to follow him. The Tyrant which he shot slowly getting up as a bullet hit in the head and it fell dead again.
"Bitch I said stay!"
Chapter 12: Battle on the boat
A dozen zombies could be seen on the deck of the ship. 1000 bullets came flying smacking the freaks quickly cutting them down. David lead the way as they reached the top.
"They're keeping Jill on a lower level. You two will probably have to split up to help keep this place clear of zombies."
"All right you two go ahead and I'll stay here." Said Curtis watching as David nodded. Running over to another door he blasted more of the freaks with his gatling gun then ran down the stairs. Walking over to a CD player nearby he took half an arm then threw it off. Turning it on as Craddle of Filth then began to play.
"What is this shit..."
Taking out the CD he tossed it in back of him the CD hitting a zombie in the head and impaling it. Hitting a button he had it play the next CD and went to a good song. Shout 2000 by Disturbed as he loaded his gun. Lifting it he then shot the nearest zombie in the head. Another one jumping down from a catwalk nearby as he shot it in the head as well. One then climbed up to his right from the water. Curtis merely put a gun to its head then fired dropping it as well.
"Man you guys suck ass. Must be reading the 'I am a pansy' zombie book."
With this he continued to kick their assess. His leg coming around to strike another as he looked around.
"I mean, how are you guys going to beat me."
Around fifty or so zombies then began to come from every direction and advance on Curtis.
"Shit..."
Chapter 13: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Chad and David made their way down the hallway quickly. Feet echoing a bit as they heard a familiar shuffling.
Zombies.
Looking around a corner, they both saw a few zombies, and zombie dogs. David looked back at Chad then nodded a bit. Chad quickly removing a gun but David waved it off.
"Eh wait, I have a better idea. I'll give them the old head trick."
He then took a corpse from a body nearby. Shoved a grenade in it and threw it down the hall. After this he took a bone and attached a grenade to it then threw it. The zombie dogs and zombies pounced on the head and bone like the nutty professor at free pancake bleakest and were all blown to many nice bites. The other zombies getting to work on eating those bites.
"Fuck this..."
David lead the way as they walked around, quickly shooting up anything in their way.
"One bitch, two bitch, three bitch."
Counting them off he fired his gatling gun mowing down the rest. The two stopping at a skinless zombie... Taking a lighter, Chad then threw it on the zombie sending it up in fire.
"How did you know that would happen?"
"I recognized the smell. I kept telling Bob to not smoke so much crack."
The two of them then stumbled from an explosion. A Super Tyrant walked at them with a grenade launcher. Hitting Chad aside it then knocked David's gatling gun out of his hand. Kicking him back before it fired again the explosion tossing him aside. Man how fucked is he eh?
"Everyone uses the same shit these days."
Taking aim the Tyrant fired again as he ran.
"Fuuuuuuuuuck this!"
Grunting he was then thrown down. Back burning as the Tyrant took aim, grinned, then waited, then fired! The grenade flying at Dave.
With Curtis about be mauled by fifty zombies and David outgunned by a grenade launching Tyrant. Can our heroes survive?