Chapter 3: Michelle

I don't think I have ever been as nervous as I was when I walked up the steps to Tony's apartment and knocked on the door. I straightened my skirt again and pushed some hair out of my face as I stood at the top of the steps. I hoped that I looked okay. I wanted tonight to be special. I wasn't sure why since the thought of a relationship scared the hell out of me, but I still wanted it to be special.

I had spent at least 20 minutes standing in front of my closet trying to decide what to wear. I wanted to look comfortable but not frumpy. I also wanted to look casual but not too sexy. I finally decided on a short denim skirt that buttoned up the front. It was snug, but not too tight. It was cinched at the waist with a flowered scarf. Then I put on a short lace camisole and covered it with a fitted white blouse. I left the blouse open at the neck and put a silver charm necklace on a black leather thong around my neck. I wanted my hair to look as if I hadn't fussed over it, so after 15 minutes of trying different styles, I ended up pulling it into a loose ponytail held in place with a large clip. I put on a light dusting of makeup in order to look natural and then I checked out the whole look in the full length mirror on the back of my bedroom door. I liked the look. I just hoped that Tony did, too.

The door opened and I couldn't help but smile. "Hi, Tony," I said.

"Hi," he responded awkwardly. He leaned over and kissed my cheek lightly. "Did you have any trouble finding the place?"

"No, thank goodness for GPS," I giggled a little. That was stupid, I thought. I can't act like a nervous schoolgirl. I handed two bottles of wine to him. "I didn't know what you were serving, so I got both white and red. I hope that's okay."

"That's great," he said as the conversation lulled.

"You have a great apartment," I told him as I walked into the living room. "Nice view."

"Thanks, I grew up in this neighborhood. When I took the job with CTU, I decided to move back here. It's so convenient. I'm only about 15 minutes away."

"I didn't know you grew up in LA. I thought you grew up in Chicago."

"I lived there until I was ten, then my parents bought a restaurant here and we moved. The restaurant was originally about four blocks from here and we lived upstairs. Several years later they moved the restaurant downtown and we moved to the suburbs."

"I didn't know your parents owned a restaurant. Have I ever heard of it?"

"It's called 'Old Madrid'. It's pretty well known."

"I've never been there but I've heard great things about it. I've heard the paella is the best."

"Yeah, Pop makes incredible paella," he smiled. "Would you like a glass of wine?"

I thought he'd never ask. I was dying for a little alcohol so I could relax. "I'd love some."

"How about if we start with the white and save the red for dinner?"

"That's fine," I said as I followed him into the kitchen.

I took the glass of wine from him and wandered back into the living room while Tony took care of some dinner preparations. There was a framed picture on the end table of Tony in the middle of a large group of people. He had his arm around a woman holding a baby. My curiosity got the better of me. "Is this a family picture?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "That's the whole crew. It was my niece's baptism. I'm her Godfather and that's my sister Angie holding her, she's her Godmother."

"You have a big family," I commented.

"I have two sisters and five brothers. So there are eight of us all together. Plus two of them are married and both have kids, so when we're all together it's a big crowd."

I continued to look at the picture and took a sip of my wine.

"I take it that you don't have a big family," he said.

"Just my brother, Danny, and his kids," I said not really wanting to discuss the issue.

"Your parents?" he asked.

"They divorced when I was a kid. I haven't seen my father since I was twelve. My mom died when I was 16."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to get personal."

"It's okay," I assured him and tried to smile. The silence was awkward.

"Hey, are you ready to eat? I thought we'd start with a shrimp cocktail out on the balcony, if that's ok with you."

"That sounds great," I said just happy to change the topic of conversation. I took another drink from my wine glass and Tony took it from me.

"Here, let me fill that," he said as he walked back into the kitchen.

We stepped out onto the balcony with full glasses of wine. Tony set the bottle on the table, then returned for the kitchen for the shrimp cocktail. He set one at each place and then held a chair out for me to sit. Maybe chivalry isn't dead.

We both ate our shrimp without saying much. After the shrimp, he put the steaks on the grill and brought elegant salads from the kitchen. The conversation picked up and as expected we started talking about the last painful day. It felt good to open up and talk about it. When I was alone in my apartment it was too upsetting to think about, but talking to someone else who had experienced it as well was therapeutic. By the time we finished the steaks and potatoes and vegetables we were pretty well talked out and I will full to the point of bursting. The only things we hadn't talked about were our kiss and the time we spent in the holding cell.

It was dark now and the only light we had was the candles on the table and a little light coming from Tony's living room through the sliding glass door and onto the patio. I liked the darkness. The air was cool and clear and I felt safe here. I stood and walked to the low wall that surrounded the balcony. I set my wine glass on the wall and Tony walked over and set his glass next to mine.

"Michelle," Tony started, "I want to thank you for sticking with me when Chappelle tried to charge us with treason. No one could prove you did anything but follow my orders. If it came to it, I was going to testify to that effect. I was willing to take the fall but it still felt good knowing that you were willing to stand by me."

"I couldn't let you take the fall, Tony. I'm the one who got you into it," I told him. I suddenly noticed how close our bodies were. We weren't quite touching, but we were so close. I could smell his aftershave. He turned slightly toward a noise, a car horn, on the street. As he did, our bare arms brushed lightly for just a fraction of a second. Maybe I had had too much alcohol but I could feel my skin tingle where it touched his. I sensed that Tony felt it too because he took a step back away from me.

"Are you…um… are you ready for dessert?"

"I shouldn't eat another thing, but after not eating for most of yesterday or today, I think I'm still hungry."

"Yeah, me too," he said. "Why don't we go inside; it's getting chilly out here. I'll put on some coffee."

Tony opened the sliding glass door for me and I stepped inside. Soon the apartment was filled with the aroma of fresh coffee. Tony came out of the kitchen with a plate of desserts and two dishes of berries topped with whipped cream on a tray.

"When did you find time to bake?" I laughed amazed at the beautiful plate of sweets.

"I cheated," he admitted. "My sister's a pastry chef. I begged her to bring some dessert over. Apparently she thought I was having a party for ten. This was a little more than I had planned on."

We sat on the sofa and ate dessert and drank coffee. We consciously left some room on the sofa between us. Tony reached over to wipe some whipped cream from my lip with a napkin and I felt the same electricity that I felt when he touched my arm outside. As he did it, he moved a little closer to me and then gently took my hand.

"Michelle, I've had a wonderful evening. I'm so glad you came over. I can't imagine how depressed I would have been if I had to be alone this evening with my thoughts."

"I feel the same way, Tony. It felt so good to talk it all out. I feel so much better than I did when I was at home."

We were staring into each others eyes and I knew that if I didn't move away that I was going to kiss him again. I wasn't sure I wanted to do that. It was all too confusing. I looked at my watch.

"It's getting late. Why don't I help you clean up before I go." I stood up and began collecting the dessert dishes and coffee cups.

Tony protested but I insisted. He had done all of the work and I wanted to help him clean up, I told him. The truth was that I didn't want to leave him, but I was terrified of being so close to him.

We went in the kitchen and I ran a sink full of soapy water to start washing dishes. "I'll wash. You can dry and put things away since you know where they go."

The kitchen was small and we stood close together. It seemed like any time either of us moved, we bumped into the other. I started to wonder if it was accidental or if we were subconsciously trying to do it. I wasn't sure if it was excessively warm in the room or if I was just flushed from standing so near Tony. The room seemed filled with sexual tension. Neither of us seemed to know what to say, so we did the dishes in silence. The jazz CD that Tony had put on played quietly in the background.

Finally, everything was clean and Tony was putting away a few last dishes.

"Where does this one go," I asked picking up a bowl.

"To my left, second shelf," he answered.

I squeezed past him and reached for the shelf. As I passed him, I pressed gently against his back. I regretted it the moment I did it. I'm sure he thought I was coming on to him, but I honestly didn't realize how little room there was to get past him.

"I'm… I'm sorry," I stammered.

"It's okay," he whispered. "I should have moved over for you."

"Well, everything is clean. I should really be going," I said as I stepped out of the kitchen. I picked up my purse from the floor near the door. Tony followed me to the door.

"Let me walk you to your car," he offered.

"That's okay, Tony. I'll be fine. Thanks again for having me. I had a wonderful time."

I was standing with my back to the door. Tony stood in front of me just inches away. I could feel the energy that radiated from his body. His eyes were like molten chocolate as they met with mine.

"I'd like to see you again, Michelle."

I wasn't sure what to say. My feelings for Tony truly scared me. I loved his company but I was so afraid of being hurt. I was so afraid that he would turn out like every other man I thought I loved in the past.

I tried to make light of his desire to see me again. I smiled, "You'll see me at work five days a week, Director Almeida."

Tony's face was serious. "I don't mean that, Michelle, you know that."

I swallowed hard. "I know, I want to see you again, too," I admitted.

He leaned forward and kissed me tenderly on the lips. Neither of us opened our mouths, but his lips seemed to linger longer than necessary and the kiss was a little firmer than I would have expected for a quick goodbye kiss.

Tony pulled his head back slowly but he was still looking into my eyes. He gently pushed some stray curls behind my ear. The touch of his hand on my face when he did that nearly sent me over the edge. I had never felt this way before and I was overwhelmed by it. We both tilted our heads at the same instant and our lips met again. This time our mouths were open and the kiss was deep and passionate. The same way we had kissed last night. Our arms encircled each other and I could feel Tony's hands moving up and down my back. I felt, more than heard, myself groan very quietly and the kiss became fore intense.

It was Tony who had the will power to stop. He pulled away and stepped back so our bodies were no longer touching.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. I never should have done that."

"Admit it Tony, we both wanted it."

"Michelle, I don't think I've ever felt this way before, but I want to take it slow. I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself do this yet."

"I know. I promised myself the same thing, Tony. But now that we're here, I almost can't help myself."

We closed the space between us and began to kiss again. This time the kisses were frantic. His tongue was deep in my mouth wrestling with mine. I had my hands on his neck and the back of his head pulling him closer to me. His hands were again moving up and down my body. I could feel him pressing against me. He was becoming aroused and that excited me even more.

I pulled away for a second to catch my breath. As I did, he started kissing my neck and sucking on my earlobe. His hot breath on my ear was more than I could stand.

"Oh God, Tony!" I whispered breathlessly, "make love to me, please. I want you to make love to me. I want to make love to you." I couldn't believe I just said it. My entire body ached for this man in a wave of desire that I had never felt for anyone before.

Tony pulled back and looked at me. "Michelle, are you sure about this. I don't want you to regret this."

I barely nodded. The truth was that I wasn't sure of it at all. I was terrified, but at this point my brain had stopped functioning and my body took over and as afraid as my brain was, my body wanted him.