Gebler Special Forces
Chapter 3
Dazil the Beautiful
Notes: Well, here's chapter three of the story. Hope you people out there who are following this story enjoy this installment. Thanks!
Hours passed and night fell as they headed north. When they could no longer stand they all made camp, hoping nobody would see their fire. They could see the town of Dazil in the distance, but had no more energy to continue further that night.
"What the hell was that language, anyway?" Finn asked Stratski and Helm after remembering them using it back in the battle.
"It's a dialect of ancient Kislev that was spoken by Victor's ancestors in Nortune. His dad forced him to learn it and he taught me some. We're probably the only people in this world who still know it."
"That's why I was pretty sure nobody in Solaris knew it. I'll bet they monitor our conversations. I had to be safe, just in case."
"I still don't feel right about this, guys..." Finn spoke. "If someone finds us..."
"Nobody's gonna find us. They think we're dead. Besides, there's not a hell of a lot left of Solaris now, is there?" Knute said. "Just the main battleship, and there's nothing but Gebler in there."
"Nah, I guess not. But still..."
"What made you guys decide to do something crazy like this?" Vance asked.
"Well....I began to remember," Victor responded.
"Remember?" Vance questioned.
"Yeah. When we were stationed on the surface in Bledavik, Knute and I went out one night to see the festival. I....don't know. When I was there....I began to get visions, flashes....of my life before I came to Solaris. I ignored them at the time, but then I started having dreams. I remembered Knute and I growing up together in Nortune. I knew we had always been friends, but I could never remember how we met. When I told Knute about it, he told me he was having the same dreams. We felt it was too big a co-incidence to ignore, so we tried to figure it out together."
"That was right after we bombed Nortune. That's when we remembered it all. How we had been kidnapped, and sent to the facility in Etrenank for assessment and reprogramming."
"I don't know what youse guys are talking about. Kidnapping? What?" Finn asked with confusion.
"Solaris kidnaps Lambs from the surface to work as slaves. They wipe your memories clean to keep you from revolting, and deluge you with Solaris propaganda until you believe it. You probably don't remember it, Finn, but you probably were kidnapped from the surface, too."
"I don't remember any of that..."
"That's why you have your doubts, still. I'll bet if we ever go to your home town you'll start getting flashes, too."
"Well....I still think we should go back."
"Forget it," Vance said. "You can go back, but they'll only kill you for leaving in the first place."
Finn fell silent, staring at his feet, and then into the fire.
Knute pulled out a comb and brushed his hair vainly. "It's not like I have a huge attachment to Nortune, but I still feel bad that we bombed them."
"Me too," Victor said. "It's still our home town. But orders are orders, all the same."
"God, I hate the taste of these emergency rations," Knute said, putting away his comb and bringing out a dehydrated stick, coloured red.
"The taste...just imagine what they put in these things. Ugh...worse than the cafeteria food at school."
"I know. They actually expected us to eat that crap? What was the cafeteria lady's name again?"
"Wasn't it 'Vi' or something like that?"
"Oh, yeah. I remember. Cafeteria Lady 'Vi'-le. She was as disgusting to look at as her food was to eat."
"You guys went to school together?" Vance asked.
"Sure did," Victor said. "Miller Gordon's School for Boys. Private rich kids' boarding school. You know -- 'pack your kids away and don't think about 'em' type of school. Knute and I roomed together there. That's how we met, long ago when we were kids in Nortune."
"I was ten, he was twelve. And were we ever hellraisers."
Victor rolled his eyes. "YOU were a hellraiser. I merely went along with your schemes."
"Oh, right, Vic. You didn't come up with switching the school's flag with a pair of long underwear or anything."
"Well, okay. Maybe I thought of some stuff. But not even close to as often as you."
"Your memory must still be faulty. But never mind."
Victor shoved Knute until he fell over into the sand.
Finn was still thinking about what they had said earlier about the memories and the kidnapping. He looked across the fire at Renk, who sat a few feet away, lost in his own world while fixated on the bonfire.
"Uh...Shouldn't someone explain all this stuff to Renk? I don't think he knows what youse guys are talking about, either," Finn spoke.
"It's too much to burden him with right now," Helm said. "Best to leave him alone. He's got a lot on his mind. Can't say I blame him. Ayra and Danie were his world and now..."
Finn rose. "I'm gonna check on him."
The others nodded and he moved to the other side of the fire to see how his friend was doing.
"Renk, you okay?"
He shook his head. He looked much older than thirty-five, the lines in his face growing deeper.
"I -- still can't believe it...."
Finn didn't know what to say. "I guess I can't believe it, either. Everything and everyone's gone. My neighbour was going to lend me his spring shoes...now even he's gone...it's just kinda weird. And Ayra was a great cook. I'll miss her and Danie."
Renk sighed. "I promised them I'd always protect them, and..."
"There wasn't nothin' you coulda done. That red gear was much too strong. Every gear pilot in Solaris fought against that guy and we got creamed."
"I know...but....I still can't help thinking...I failed them..."
Finn also sighed, sitting down completely.
"Those guys don't seem to have a care in the world, ya know? I wish I could think this was the right thing to do..."
"You're worried about Lt. Seraphita..."
"Yeah."
"I'm sure she's okay."
"I wish I could think so."
"You have to have faith in her. She's strong. You said you saw that other gear fly off with her. They've probably got her safe somewhere..."
"Yeah, that's what the guys tell me, too. I guess I shouldn't worry so much, huh?"
"Don't think the worst until you know it's the worst."
Finn was silent, staring at the fire. He threw a rock into it and looked away.
"Here you are so sad and you're helpin' me..."
"I can't help it. It's just me. And..you're right, Finn. I couldn't have saved them. Despite my promise to Ayra...I realize that now. But.... I wish....I had a really good chance to say goodbye...."
Finn nodded. "I'm glad you see that."
Renk kept staring into the fire.
"You want me to go away, don't you?" Finn asked.
Renk nodded. "Yeah. Sorry."
"Hey, it's okay. I understand."
He got up and went back over to the others.
"And then Knute and I changed the picture of male anatomy with the one of the female anatomy. It took Mr. Reck fifteen minutes to notice he was teaching the wrong stuff."
"Well, if he'd have actually paid attention to what he was showing us and not just gone by memory, he wouldn't have had to look like a idiot, right?"
"I wonder what happened to that old crow, anyway."
"I don't wanna know. The guy's probably a fossil right now."
"Yeah, probably. Like, how old was that guy...ninety eight or something?"
"Seemed like it."
Finn sat back down. "Hate to break up your fun, but I just wanna know when in the heck we're gonna get to that town..."
"Well, as soon as the sun rises, we'll go. It's only about six more kilometres to Dazil, according to my GPS," Victor said.
"So about another hour or so on our feet," Knute said. "The early morning sun won't get to be too much for us then."
* * * * * *
Dazil rose in the early morning sunlight.
"Ugh! This place is full of Lambs..." Finn spoke as he peeked inside the town from the gateway.
"They aren't going to bite. Come on. We've gotta get a sand buggy for our trip to Nortune."
The five men walked into the desert town, looking around at everything.
"This place is filthy," Finn spoke.
"It's just dusty," Knute said. "I'm sure I'm a sight. You guys sure are."
"Ugh...no, it's filthy." Finn ran his hand down an old cart which sat beside someone's house. A layer of dust fluffed off of it.
"Look for a sign that says 'sand buggies'. You guys all know the language of the surface, right?" Victor asked.
"I remember," Vance said.
"I do too," Renk added.
"Good."
"There!" Vance said, pointing.
"Alright, we're in business," Knute said. "We're going in."
"I'll wait out here," Broyer said, not wanting to think of what it looked like inside the buildings in this dirty little town.
"Hmm...okay, whatever, Finn."
The other four went inside, leaving Finn alone.
He looked around a moment, feeling a little strange.
"Hmm...but this place....somehow I feel like...I've...."
"Oh...my...god!!" came a voice from right in front of him.
He looked at the woman who was tall, stout, but very pretty.
"Finn? Finn, is that you?" she asked, coming right up to him.
He looked at the woman seriously. Something about her seemed familiar, but he'd be damned if he knew exactly who she was.
"Uh....yeah...." he responded.
"Oh, Finn!" she said, flinging her arms around him.
"Huh! Hey! Let go of me!" he said, shoving her off.
She stepped back, puzzled.
"Don't you know who it is, Finn? I've gained weight, but I haven't changed that much, have I?"
"Um...sorry...I don't....who are you?" he asked.
She sighed. "You're kidding, right?"
"No. I'm not kidding. Who are you?"
She put her hand on her mouth. "Don't tell me you have amnesia or something, because mom and dad are not going to accept that excuse! Where have you been all these years? You just disappeared without a trace! Nobody knew where the hell you went! You go on a buying trip and just disappear!"
"Um....I'm sorry, I....I've gotta to go..."
"Oh, no, Finn Broyer, you're not goin' anywhere!" She grabbed him by the arm.
He pushed her. "Go away! Leave me alone, you stupid Lamb!"
She fell to the ground, falling face first into the dirt.
Finn felt a deep pang of guilt right in his heart. And that was when it came to him. He remembered who she was.
She rolled off the ground, wiping sand from her face and tears from her eyes. Finn also found himself getting a little teary-eyed.
"Vehra....Vehra....I'm so sorry...I didn't mean...." he said.
He held out his hand, but she shoved it away.
"I can get up myself, you moron! What did you do that for?!"
"Vehra....I didn't mean to...I didn't remember who you were..."
She shoved him, and he fell down.
"Didn't remember....?" she spoke, placing a hand on her hip. "This is the thanks I get for teaching you how to fight, huh? You shove me down like some stupid bully? You'd better watch it or I'll pound you to the ground, little brother. You wuss."
"Vehra....I don't want to fight you..."
She laughed. "Such a change in tone. Oh, well. Good. I'd rather not fight you, either. So...why the weird reception?"
"It's...a long story. I don't wanna tell it twice. Are mom and dad still here?"
"Yep. And they've always held on to a hope you'd be back some day. Honestly though, I didn't think I'd ever see you back here. Come on home. We kept your room exactly the way you left it."
"Well...um....hold on a sec. I'm with friends..."
"Friends? Well, bring them, too. You know mom and dad won't care. They like your friends coming over. They're usually as benign as you."
"They're in the sand buggy rental shop. They'll be right out."
"Okay."
Finn looked at the dark-haired woman as she looked back at him with a strange expression, almost as if she was trying to figure out if she was dreaming.
No, Vehra. You ain't dreaming. I'm really here. How long has it been now? Almost eight years. I was just a kid back then. Mom and dad must have gone outta their minds with worry. You too, though you'd never show it.
So the guys were right. Solaris really does kidnap people for their own purposes. What scumbags. And to think I almost went back to those idiots. I wonder why they wanted me...?
"Finn...?"
"Yeah?"
"What the HELL is a Lamb?"
"Oh, uh....I'll explain all that, too."
"Good. Because I'm completely confused."
Knute came out of the shop.
"Yeah, well....DASSA EST SHYS!" Knute yelled in Solarian to the shopkeeper.
The other guys followed him back out.
"Well, that worked," Victor spoke dryly.
"Oh, and I'm supposed to THINK of packing surface money when I'm called to battle, huh?" Knute said.
"We'll get to Nortune some other way."
"Hey...we've gotta find a way to get money. I'm not walking to Nortune," Knute said.
"Hey, hey, guys!" Finn called out, getting everyone's attention. "I want you all to meet someone." He threw his arm around the girl.
"Well, you sure forgot about the Lieutenant fast, Broyer," Victor spoke.
"Lieutenant?" Vehra questioned.
"Oh! No no no...this is my big sister, Vehra."
"SISTER???" they all questioned.
Finn nodded. "I'm from here in Dazil, youse guys. But...I just remembered. Thanks to Vehra."
"Lieutenant?" Vehra questioned again.
"Oh, never mind. Don't tell mom and dad about that...well, let's go home. It's been so long, and I'm dyin' for some of mom's ariberry pie. You guys can come, too. The Broyer house is everyone's house!"
"Who are these guys? Why are you all dressed in uniforms?" Vehra asked. "Have you been in the military? These aren't Aveh or Kislev uniforms."
"Like I said, I'll tell youse guys everythin' when we get home." He addressed his friends, "We're almost there. We live in the centre of town. That item shop over there is my mom and dad's."
"Your parents owned a store? You're kidding, right?" Knute asked.
"Why is that a surprise?" Vehra asked.
"We just don't see Finn the salesman type."
"Are you kidding? Finn was our best salesman. He had this way of talking people into buying things they didn't really need or want...and even made the people forget they didn't need or want it later on."
"Are we talking about the same Finn Broyer?" Victor asked.
"I know he seems kinda dumb, but there's a brilliant salesman in there somewhere."
"Vehra, you're embarrassing me, now..."
"So? When you've got a talent, you shouldn't hide it. You should flaunt it, right?"
"Yeah...I guess so..."
Vehra led them all into a small house behind the store.
"Who's that grunt outside?"
"Griv? He's just a guy we hired to replace you. He's good, but not as good as you were."
"Sit down, you guys. It's small, but it's comfortable."
"It's immaculate..." Knute whispered to Victor.
"So that's where he gets it from..." Victor said.
"Mom! Dad! Come out here! I've got a surprise for you!"
They heard the loud voices of two people in the hallway offshooting the living room.
"Vehra, what is it? We're sorta busy back here!"
"No, really. Come out. You won't regret it!"
The shadows fell on the wall before Finn's parents entered the room.
"Okay, Vehra...what is it?" her father, a man who looked just like an older version of Finn, asked, putting a large hand on his hip.
His mother, a much smaller woman, but by no means frail, stopped in her tracks, and only stared at Finn, shock all too evident in her expression.
"Finny?" she asked.
"Finn?" his father said, also seeing him.
"Yeah, mom, dad. It's me. I'm home."
"Ohoohhhh!!" his mother said, running up to him and flinging her arms around him. She slathered him with wet kisses.
"Ma...ma...that's kinda gross...ma...please..."
She held him at armslength, looking him up and down.
"Are you alright? Have you been eating properly? Have you been well? Oh, my little boy is a man now! I can't believe I missed you growing up!"
"Well, Finn..." his father said, approaching him much more slowly and patting him roughly on the back. "Perhaps you'd like to explain where you've been all these years, huh?"
"Oh, Ven..." his mother said, hitting her husband on the arm. "At least let the boy come in and relax first. Do you want some tea, dear? Oh...who are all these people?" she asked, noticing all the others.
"These are my friends, ma. This is Knute and Victor...Vance and Renk."
"It's nice to meet all you fine gentleman. Please sit down and make yourselves comfortable. Would you all like some tea?"
"Yes, that would be very nice," Victor spoke.
"Well, then...I'll put some on."
His mother hustled off to the small kitchen in a corner of the room, which allowed her in on the conversation.
"Vehra, could you get everyone a coaster?" she asked her daughter as she poured water into the kettle.
Vehra rolled her eyes. "Okay, mom." She reached over for the many sets of coasters which were left all over the house in strategic places, and set them up so everyone had one.
"These are vital in the Broyer home. Can't scrape the table all up now, can we? Makes me sick sometimes," Vehra said with distaste.
"Vehra, coasters just keep the table from bein' destroyed," Finn said. "And that way they need less polishing."
"Yeah, whatever," his sister spoke dryly. "I've gotta find a man and get out of this house so I can be a slob all day if I want to."
Finn noticed his father's walk was slow, hunched over and stiff. He had always remembered his dad as a strong, healthy man who would take on the world if he was so inclined. His father looked so much older now.
"What happened to dad?" he whispered to Vehra softly.
"He was trying to lift a heavy load of boxes by himself, and his back hasn't been the same since," Vehra whispered. "He tried to do a lot of things by himself after you went away that he really shouldn't have been doing at his age, but you know, dad's stubborn. Wouldn't listen to us."
Ven Broyer sat slowly in the easy chair that had been designated as his a great many years ago.
"So, Finn...would you mind explaining where you've been for all these years, hm? Your mother and Vehra were worried sick about you. And you left a lot of work at the store undone."
"Yeah, dad, I know. I'm sorry."
"Well...no use complaining about it now. It's been done for ya. But I expect you're gonna make it up to me, right?"
"Well....I guess so."
"Good. Well, tell me, boy. I send you off on a buying trip to Bledavik, and you never even get there and disappear off the face of the earth. Why the dissapearin' act?"
"It's sort of a long story, and I'm not even sure I can tell the whole story, 'cause I still don't remember or understand everythin' but...I'll try my best. Let me just start by saying I didn't want to go away. I was kidnapped."
"Kidnapped?" his father questioned with slight doubt in his tone.
"Yeah. I don't remember that completely clear, but I remember I was on my way to Bledavik. I only had about a couple hours longer to go, but night was fallin', and I was tired, so I decided to camp. I was sittin' alone when all of a sudden this light from above me blinded me and I couldn't see. I don't remember much after that. The next thing I remember, I was in some weird room. I couldn't remember how I got there or where I was from. But something deep within me kept me from caring too much. I learned the place I was now in was called Solaris, and the floatin' city I was in was the capital, Etrenank. It was a lot different than I was used to, even though I couldn't really remember what it was I was used to, even though now I remember. Things were more advanced technically there than they are here. A lot of the citizens are kidnapped from the surface and brought to be in labour and stuff."
"Um...you mean to be used in the labour force, Finn..." Victor corrected.
"Yeah, okay. And things were a lot more kinda... what's the word I'm lookin' for...well, um...the government didn't like us to say bad stuff about them and stuff."
"I think the word you're looking for is 'restrictive'," Victor spoke.
"Yeah, yeah. That's it, I think. If that's what that 'restrivitive' word means, then yeah. I mean, people got in a lotta trouble sayin' stuff they didn't like about the way things were, so you just didn't say it. But I never really thought those guys were really all that right, anyway. I kinda liked the place for some reason. The place I was livin' was kinda small, not much more 'n one room, but once again, I didn't really care. I was only happy I hadda place to live. I was given a job doin' some junk in a gear factory. I worked there for a year. Then one day we were workin' on this gear with an old, broken circuit that those Ethos guys couldn't fix -- and we knew it coulda gone outta control at any minute. I was workin' in the cockpit, tuning up some of the gauges when one of my co-workers accidentally turned it on. The gear crashed through the factory, and almost stomped on some people. I didn't really know what I was doin', but some instinct in me made me step into pilot mode and attempt to tame the gear. I'd never really ridden a gear before, but it was kinda like I'd done it all my life, ya know? I managed to tame it before it completely destroyed the place and killed everyone. Two days later, I was given a job in the Solaris Military, called Gebler, in the gear combat division."
"I remember hearing about that incident. That was you, Finn?" Victor spoke up. "I'm impressed. But I know you're good with your gear, so I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised..."
"Yeah, well, I was in the military for awhile, but I was still what they called a third class citizen, or 'Worker Bee'. But I was so good at gear combat, I was so much better then all the guys in my battalion, that I got promoted to the new battalion of elite gear troops, known as the Special Forces. These guys are them. I introduced 'em already. Because of that I got promoted to second class citizen, and I was given a bigger apartment to live in, and they began to pay me a small salary."
"Here, being a second class citizen is a bad thing," Vehra spoke.
"Ah, it wasn't so bad. I was most excited about the apartment. I could actually have a couple rooms instead of just one. Anyway, I just guess my life in Solaris wasn't as bad as it was for other people. It'd be a lot worse if I hadda remembered youse guys. But Solaris does some kinda thing with your mind that makes you forget your life on the surface and makes you love Solaris. They teach you there that people who live here on the surface are animals. 'Purge the Lambs', they always said, whatever that's supposed to mean."
"Um...Finn, that means we had the right to kill Lambs at will for no reason, just because we felt like it," Victor spoke.
"Oh. Well, then, I guess that's pretty bad, then."
"Uh, yeah, I guess..." Knute said mockingly.
"It's like something out of a book," Vehra said. "Really, really weird."
"Yeah, well, it's true. Scary, huh?"
"Yeah."
"So, yeah, it wasn't all good. But...Etrenank was attacked a couple days ago, and it crashed into the ground. But Gebler's big battleship survived, and we were all waitin' at the rendezvous when Vic and Knute said they were goin' to Nortune. I didn't even want to leave until these guys convinced me to come with them. It wasn't until I saw Vehra that I even remembered where I was from. I still don't remember everything. Like, I have no idea who those people in that picture are," Finn pointed to a photograph that was propped up on the side table beside him. He stared at it.
"Um...Aunt....M -- Mi...Mil - something. And I don't remember the guy at all."
"That's your aunt Milda and uncle Tev. From Bledavik, you remember. You were gonna stay with them when you were on the trip."
"I don't remember 'em at all. Well, I remember there was somethin' kinda irritating about that guy."
"You probably remember the wrist burns. Uncle Tev always insisted on torturing you and me with 'em when he visited," Vehra said. "And aunt Milda, well...she always insisted you were younger than you were, and my little sister, so she always brought you the cutest little dresses to wear."
"Dresses?" Knute asked with a chuckle.
"Vehra...don't tell these jerks that!"
"Don't worry, mom and dad would never actually make him wear them. Come on, that's just a little TOO weird, ya know? We'd sell 'em in the store or or they weren't too frilly or too small, I'd get 'em."
"You'd sell someone's gift?" Knute exclaimed.
"Well, what the heck were we gonna do with it? I wasn't wearing lace! No way, uh uh!" Vehra exclaimed.
"Yeah, so, do they still visit much?"
"Oh, they died," Vehra said. "They were out travelling in the desert when a sandstorm hit their buggy. You know, uncle Tev always insisted he could get through a sandstorm and end up no more than a quarter mile off his trail."
"My brother always had more mouth than he did brains. He'd cut off his own head on a dare to prove he was a man. Stupid idiot," Ven said.
"So he and aunt Milda got killed?"
"Took three weeks to find 'em. They got so hopelessly lost, there's no way theyd've found either Bledavik or Dazil. The heat stroke got 'em."
"Dad...tell Finn about what happened after he left," Vehra said.
"Well, after a week, Milda sent us a letter, asking if you were coming. This got us worried, because we knew you had left in plenty of time, and there hadn't been any sandstorms reported. We sent out a search party to look for you. We eventually found the sand buggy and all your gear, but...you were gone. We knew you wouldn't have wandered out of the camp, we taught you better 'n that. We thought you might've been eaten by a Wyrm. But there were no signs of a struggle, so we didn't rule out the possibility you were alive."
"I wouldn't have left the camp, dad. You taught me good."
Ven Broyer stared at his son a long time, saying nothing. He slowly rose and walked over to Finn, who stood up to meet him eye to eye.
"Dad, what is it?"
Wordlessly, Ven wrapped his arms around Finn and held him.
"Good to have you back, son..." he whispered in Finn's ear.
"Dad..."
"I missed you...I was so worried..."
"I'm sorry..."
"Oh, don't start. You couldn't help it."
"So you believe me?"
"Of course I do. You're too dumb to lie and come up with a whopper of a story like that. You never were much good at it."
"Dad..."
His mother came out with the teapot.
"Tea time, everyone!" she said, carefully placing the pot on a bamboo mat. "Does everyone have a coaster?"
"Yeah, everyone's got a coaster, mom."
"Good, good," she said, pouring the tea. "It's so good to see you with so many friends, Finny," his mother spoke. "You were always so lonely, we worried about you."
"Yeah, nobody wanted to play with him because he was a crybaby and a wuss," Vehra said.
"A crybaby?" Knute asked.
"A wuss?" Victor asked.
"Vehra! Stop it!"
"I taught him how to fight and stick up for himself, but it didn't do much good. He didn't like getting dirty."
"Same old Finn," Knute spoke.
"Yup."
"I'll bet his room in that Solaris place was so clean you could eat off the floor, right?" Vehra spoke.
"Oh, yeah," Victor spoke.
"Well, some things never change..." she said.
"Hey, there's nothin' wrong with wantin' yourself and your surroundings to be clean," Finn defended. "That's what mom always says, right?"
"Right. You're a good boy, Finny," his mom said.
"I used to call him 'Immaculate Boy'," Vehra said.
"Hey! Don't call me that!"
"Do you even know what 'immaculate' means, Finn?" Vehra spoke.
"Of course I do! I was called it enough!"
"Then what does it mean?"
"Uh.....er....um....something about...virgins and..."
"In that case, it means you're anal-retentively neat," Victor spoke.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I knew that," Finn said sheepishly.
"Yep. Finn, still thick as ever. But...I love him anyway." Vehra hugged him from behind.
"So...would any of you kids like a tour of the store?" Ven asked.
"Yeah, sure. Why not?" Victor spoke up. "What about you, Knute?"
"Okay."
"Yeah," Vance agreed.
Ven looked at Renk, who sat quietly on the couch, staring at his feet.
"Something bugging him?" Ven asked.
"Dad...never mind him. Just show the others around, okay? I'll catch up."
"Okay, whatever. Come on, kids. Follow me."
Finn sat next to Renk on the couch.
"You wanna go somewhere quiet?"
Renk nodded lightly.
"Come on. You can lie down in my room. It's sort of small, but it's clean and cool, and not noisy like it is out here in the living room."
Finn led Renk out of the sitting room, and into the room at the end of the hall. Renk walked in and Finn whistled.
"Wow! Mom's been dusting the place every day, I bet. It's exactly as I remember leaving it."
"It's -- very clean."
"Yeah, well, I like it that way."
Finn bounced on the bed a few times, like a child who'd eaten too much chocolate. "Yeah, this old, familiar bed. Nothing like a familiar bed, eh, Renk?"
The eldest of the Special Forces was looking out the window at the far end of the room and not saying anything at all.
"A familiar bed...there's not going to be such a thing for me now. Not if Ayra's not there beside me."
Finn wasn't sure what to say.
"Sorry, Renk. I wasn't thinkin'."
"It's alright. I'd just like to be alone for awhile."
"Sure. I'll catch up with the guys, you get some rest, okay?"
Renk just continued to look out the window. Finn decided it would be best to leave him be.
* * *
Renk walked around Finn's room slowly, seeing the man Finn had once been, years ago, before Solaris had come and changed his life. Of course everything was neat, and had its place. There was a poster of some female singer on the wall, very tastefully done, and she was very cute. Very much Finn's type, Renk could see it. Finn also appeared to have something for comic books, which was obvious from his bookcase. But most shocking of all to Renk, there was a book of scriptures from the Nisan Church on the bedside table. It looked like it was read often.
"I had no idea Finn was religious," Renk whispered to himself. "He probably had no idea he was religious."
A teddy bear sat upon his pillow. It was also worn, but still impeccably taken care of, as if it had been one of Finn's first toys.
"Finn had a teddy bear...at his age? He mentioned it was eight years ago. So he was sixteen when he was stolen from his parents. Probably out on his first trip alone. Damn Solaris. They ruin the lives of everyone. Rip families from one another. Husbands from wives, fathers from daughters."
His eyes welled with tears again as he thought of his loved ones. The bear reminded him of Danie.
Oh, Ayra, Danie...if only I'd known, I would have brought you with me. I would have protected you. I'd have found out who I was here, and we could have lived happily. Now...I'll never see your shining eyes again, Ayra, or hear your merry laugh, Danie. I'll never know what kind of a woman you'd have been. But...I imagine you'd have been beautiful, graceful, full of happiness, like your mother. You'd have been loved very much.
Damn you both for leaving me. Damn that red gear. Damn Solaris. Damn it all!
I can't see the path ahead. For me, there is only blackness. I don't know which path to take so I'll merely follow, and hope that one day I will be led back into the light.
I said you'd have been much loved. That's not entirely true. Rather, it's that you are loved, and you will always be loved. And never, ever forgotten.
* * * * * *
The day passed into night as Finn led them all around the sights in Dazil, as he remembered them. The small town had changed little, and almost everyone Finn ran into remembered him. Finn's mother had prepared a grandiose dinner for the group of men, which they heartily ate. It was the best thing they had eaten in days. Right afterwards, Finn's mother hustled them off to bed.
"You can sleep here on the floor, as long as you're not going to move around a lot and kick anything over. If not, there's Finny's floor. His room's not very big, and probably there's only enough room for one."
"Renk's probably got the bed, so I'll leave him to it," Finn said. "But there's room for one more guy on the floor. I'll sleep in the living room. I'm too big to sleep on the couch, so one of youse guys can have it."
"Understood," Victor said. "We'll take the living room, too, right, Knute?"
"Yeah, sure. You want the couch?"
Victor shrugged. "Whatever. My feet might stick out of it. It's better suited to someone your height, Knute. Shorty."
"I'd kill you if I didn't want to mess up Mrs. Broyer's nice, clean floor."
"Yeah, sure you would."
"I'll sleep in the bedroom with Renk," Vance said.
"Sure. I'm going out for some air," Finn said, leaving his pals to sort out the sleeping arrangements on their own.
He breathed in the crisp, clean air over the desert night. The nights were shorter at this time of year, and the stars lit up the sky in a spectacular light show.
Vehra joined him outside.
"They're really bright, aren't they?" she asked.
"Yeah. Didn't see them like this in Solaris. Something about having too many lights around."
"Yeah, you've missed out on a lot of things. Do you remember when we used to sneak out here in the middle of the night and watch the stars together?"
Finn thought back. "No."
"Well, we did. One night dad caught us, and was he ever hopping mad. We got in such trouble."
"I remember something about him being mad. But I can't remember why he was."
"Well, that was it." Vehra sighed. "I'm sorry."
"Huh? Why?"
"For doubting you. For doubting you'd be back."
"You really didn't think I'd be back?"
"Well...not really."
"Hey, it's okay. It was kinda a fluke I ended up here, anyway."
"I like to think it was fate."
"Fate?"
"Yeah. Your rendezvous was really close to Dazil. I just happened to be walking down the street in just the right place to see you. If I'd decided to go the other way, I'd have never run into you, and I probably would have never seen you again. Something made me take the long way today. I can't explain it."
"That's weird."
"Yeah, it sure is. But...it made me run into you, and it's great to see you again."
"Yeah, I'm happy, too."
Vehra brushed the hair out of her eyes. "I like your friends, too."
"Yeah, well, they're good guys."
"Your friend Renk is kind of quiet. Like he has a lot on his mind."
"He lost his wife and kid when Etrenank fell, and he's really broken up about it."
"Oh...I see."
"We're givin' him some space to be alone and stuff if he wants to. We're all just hopin' he'll be okay."
"These things take time, Finn. It's only been a couple days, right, and it's still so fresh. Give him time. He'll be alright, with any luck," Vehra said.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Something's bugging you, too. Is there something on your mind, Finn?"
"Nah. Not really."
"Finn Broyer, don't lie to me. I can always tell."
"It's nothin'. Forget it."
"It's that 'Lieutenant' your friends mentioned, right?"
"Well.....yeah, it is."
"She your girlfriend?"
"Well, yeah. I guess so. She's....she's just great."
"You're worried about her, right?"
"Yeah. I don't know whether she's dead or alive or whatever. I just wish I knew."
"What's her name?"
"A couple things. Lieutenant Owens. Lieutenant Seraphita. But I call her Sera. Her friends call her 'Sera'. She thought of me as a friend. More than a friend...I hope."
"Did you kiss her?" Vehra asked.
"Yeah. More than once."
"Then she's more than a friend, then."
"Yeah, I guess."
Vehra rocked on her feet a moment.
"Dad...was talking about you staying here in Dazil and working for the store again. But I don't know what you want to do. I know you've probably got to find your girl. But...dad's not a young man anymore, and nobody's ever been able to replace you as a salesman. It'd be wonderful to have you here again. But...I don't think it's fair for us to even ask you. You've been through so much, and you have such wonderful friends. You don't even remember everything about us anymore."
Finn stared off into the night. "Yeah, I know. But...it doesn't mean I don't love youse guys."
"But you love Sera, too, right?"
"Yeah. I do. Even though she's a slob, I love her."
"Wow...that is love, then."
"Yeah...but...I don't know if I'd only be searching to find out the worst. It's better to be able to hope we'll be able to see one another again, then to find out she's dead. I know dad and mom really need help with the store, and even though I couldn't help it, I can't help feelin' a little guilty for not bein' here and helping out. I think I wanna stay here with youse guys for awhile, and remember who youse guys are. Then, when I know things are fine and the time's sorta right, I'll look for my buddies and Sera."
"They're going to move on to Nortune, aren't they?"
"Yeah. As soon as they get the money together to rent a sand buggy, they're probably gonna go."
"How dangerous is it for them to stay here?"
"Well, I dunno. Depends on whether Solaris is looking for us or not. But to be safe, it's better they get outta here before they can track 'em. It'll be easier for one person to hide than five."
"Yes, I see. You don't have any money?"
"Well, we've got money, but it's Solaris money, and you can't use it the same way here. They took surface money in Solaris, but the sand buggy guy didn't want Solaris creds."
"Well, I'm sure mom and dad could give your friends some money to rent a buggy and to help them settle in Nortune. It's an expensive place, and they'll need all the help they can get."
"You'd do that for them? Oh, Vehra, that's so nice!"
"Yeah, yeah. Your friends mean a lot to you. And it is nice to see you with real friends. So we'll help them because they were so good to you."
"Thanks, Vehra."
"Don't mention it. Say, do those guys have somewhere to go when they get there? To Nortune, I mean?"
"Well...I dunno. I didn't think about that. You think they'll be okay?"
"Hmm..that depends on whether they have people they know there, like a family."
"I know Victor and Knute are from Nortune, but they never said anythin' about family. Vance is from Bledavik, but he doesn't want to go there. Maybe he's got no family. Renk hasn't talked about where he's from. I don't think he remembers. But he's too sad now to think about all that."
"Well, I'm sure either Victor or Knute will have family who can help them out. You've just gotta cross your fingers and hope."
"Yeah."
"So, are you coming inside?"
Finn nodded. "In a couple minutes. I kinda wanted to just stay out here for a bit and stuff, like I used to."
"Okay." Vehra pecked him on the cheek affectionately. "Good night, Finn."
She left him alone to look out over the Dazil night.
Who woulda ever thought? That Solaris would crash down and I'd end up here, back where I belong? That I would even remember that I once had a place to belong? If anyone'd told me that last week, I'd have laughed my ass off. But -- it's here, it's happened. A lot of stuff's still foggy, but I remember a lot of things and people I didn't even know were missing. Now I kinda understand why I'm like the way I am. I'm a little of mom and a little of dad... I know now who the Broyers are. Instead of one, I am now four. Even though...there's still one missing.
The woman who might one day become a Broyer. Maybe. Perhaps I always knew it. Sounds kinda dumb. I've only known her for three days. But Sera's made such an impact on my life...I never believed in love at first sight before I met her. But...now I don't even know if she's alive or dead. I want to believe she's alive, but my brain says she has to be dead. Maybe I should stop chasin' shadows. Put her memory in the past and go on. Meet someone else who I can love. But there just won't be anyone quite like her.
* * * * * *
A young girl screamed and it was followed by his own. He tried to turn away from the horrible images, but they wouldn't allow him to. They held his head tight on the scene...the horror of what he had done to them burning into his mind.
"No...no....let me look away....don't make me watch anymore!" he pleaded.
"When one commits a crime, they must suffer the consequences. It is because of what you did that they must suffer like this!" a harsh man's voice barked.
He choked back bitter tears, closing his eyes, the only thing he could do. But he still saw the whole thing through his eyelids, he didn't need to see to imagine.
His eyes snapped opened, and the only scream left was his own.
It took a moment for him to realize where he was. Finn's house in Dazil. Far away from that time he would rather forget that his dreams wouldn't allow him.
"Hey....Vance...." came Renk's voice softly in the darkness.
"Um....did I wake you up? Sorry..." Vance apologized.
"Never mind. I wasn't sleeping that good anyway."
Vance nodded.
"What's up, kid?"
"Nothing. I'm okay."
"Doesn't sound like it."
"Renk, do you have any Drive left?"
"No. Why?" Renk asked quizzically.
Vance rose in a daze. "Maybe one of the other guys has some left. I have to have it. I have to have it..."
"Hey, hey, now wait a minute!" Renk said, grabbing Vance's arm. "You don't need that stuff anymore. Besides, the others let theirs sink with their gears. I watched 'em do it, and so did you. What's going on? Have you been sleeping good? We've all kinda noticed you've got these dark circles under your eyes."
Vance said nothing as he felt a piece of his sanity slip away. He had thought escaping from Solaris would take away those horrible dreams, but this had proved that his problem was far from over.
He kept shaking his head, as much as the quaking in his body came over him. He couldn't help making himself as small as he could, hunched against the bed.
"I'm just so tired...why can't I sleep...why can't they just let me sleep?"
"What? What won't let you sleep?"
"The nightmares! Those damn nightmares!"
"Nightmares?" Renk questions.
Vance shook his head more vigorously, but said nothing.
"Vance? Are you gonna be okay?"
"I don't know...I don't know...I thought when Solaris fell that they would go away..."
"I don't understand...what nightmares?"
Vance opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it. It had weighed so heavily on his mind, but he still couldn't talk about it. Not even with Renk.
"Never mind. Never mind, okay? I'll be alright. Just let me sit here quietly. I'll be okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. It's happened before. I'll be okay."
Renk nodded. "If you insist. But...feel free to wake me if you change your mind."
"Worry about yourself, Renk. You've got a lot on your mind without taking on my problems."
"Hey, isn't it my duty? Aren't I kinda like the dad of all you guys or something? Didn't you say that?"
"Yeah, I guess. But...I'll be fine. I'll have to be fine."
"Okay. But I'm here. Now I'm going back to sleep."
Vance nodded as Renk crawled back in bed.
The young man stared into the darkness, thinking.
It's all my fault, you know. The reason I'm being punished with these bad dreams is to make up for the sin which gave me them. If only I hadn't been so desperate, maybe they would all be here with me now.
No, I'd be dead. I'd be dead with Solaris and all the Solarians. Had I not done it, I would have never entered Gebler, and I'd have been a sitting duck. I wouldn't have even known what hit me, the red gear was so fast.
But why do those thoughts make me feel so guilty? Because I know they're selfish, horrible and so typically -- me. Why do I always think only for myself without considering the consequences? That's what got me into this.
I'm free now, but I'll never gain true freedom until I end the war within my mind. If only someone or something could help me end it. Something more permanent and less harmful than Drive.
* * * * * *
They all met outside the store that morning at sunrise. Finn's parents presented them with enough money to make it to Nortune.
"That's very generous of you," Victor said. "Thank you very much. To be honest, we weren't quite sure how we were going to get the money. We were considering just walking there, though it wasn't a desirable option."
"Well, now you can get there in an eighth of the time," Ven Broyer said. "It should only take ya about a week to get to the edge of the desert, and another day or two on foot once you reach the Kislev border. I hear it's opened now that the war's finally over. You should have no trouble crossing."
"That's good to hear," Victor spoke.
"Where's Finn?" Vance asked, not seeing him in the small crowd.
"He'll be here. He had something to tell you guys," Vehra said.
"Hmm..."
The large former Special Forces troop stepped out of the store and joined his friends. He had shed the Gebler uniform in exchange for light cotton robes.
"Hey, Finn...you don't look ready to go. What's with the duds?" Knute said, regarding Finn's desert clothes.
"Guys, I'm not gonna come to Nortune."
"Finn..."
"I'm gonna have to follow my path, and right now it leads me here, to my folks' shop. I've been gone almost eight years, and I've gotta lot of catching up to do. I wanna find out who I am, ya know? When the time's right, I'm gonna come to Nortune and see how youse guys are doing, but right now, it's best I stay right here."
Knute nodded. "We understand, Finn. I'm just glad everything worked out for you. You have to follow your path, just like Vic and I are following ours."
Finn nodded. "Okay. I'm glad you guys get what I'm sayin'."
"If we're ever passing by, we'll pop in. And we know the address of this place, so we can write if anything exciting happens to us," Knute said.
"Yeah, I'll write you, too."
Victor and Knute looked at each other.
"Yeah, okay. If you can find us, whatever."
"Oh! I get what youse guys are sayin'. Well, you can mail me your address when you find out what it's gonna be, okay?"
"Fair enough. We've got a deal."
For a long time, all was silent between them.
Finn grabbed Vance, Knute and Victor in a strong bear hug.
"It's been fun, really. I'm gonna miss youse guys!"
"Ugh! AGH! Let go, Finn! Ow, that hurts!" Vance exclaimed.
"Oh, my pretty hair...he's wrecking my hair!" Knute cried.
"You are so vain, Knute..." Victor mumbled. "Ouch..."
"Um...could you put us down...?" Vance said.
"Oh, uh.....Sorry, guys." And Finn released them.
Knute pulled out his comb and quickly fixed his dishevelled hair.
"Can I borrow that?" Vance asked.
"EEW! No. I don't know if you've got lice or something."
Vance sighed, and tried to fix his hair with his fingers.
"We'll go rent the sand buggy. Thanks again for the money, Mr. and Mrs. Broyer," Knute said.
"Yes. Thank you," Victor chimed in.
"It was no hassle. Just go, go. Find your paths, kids. My son's gonna do just fine here, I know it."
Vance, Victor and Knute walked off, but Renk stayed a little longer. He approached Finn quietly.
"Renk...?" Finn said questioningly.
"Good luck. Your sister and parents are great people," Renk said quietly.
"Yeah, thanks, Renk. I hope you feel better, too. You've been like a dad to me, when I didn't remember my dad. And I still don't know if my real dad is as good to go to with problems and stuff as you were. I'll always remember that."
Renk looked genuinely touched. "Thanks, Finn."
Finn gave him a more gentle hug. "See ya someday soon."
"Count on it."
"Good."
"Well, I'd best follow the others."
Finn nodded. "Yeah."
He didn't want to watch them go, but he couldn't help it. He had spent over a year with the Special Forces, and he had grown so attached to them all. He looked upon them like brothers. Even Knute, who could be a real jerk.
"Bye, guys...may God be with you..." he whispered just as he stepped back into the Broyer household.
End of Chapter 3
Unfortunately, it might be awhile before there's a chapter 4 to this story. I have chapters 5 and 6 mostly written along with the epilogue, but chapter 4 keeps stumping me. Anyway, it's title is "Nortune, City of Fortune", for when I do finish it. I'm working on the fic all the time, but my life has been busy as of late, and I've decided to re-write chapter 5, too. I haven't abandoned this story -- it's just taking me a bit of time to finish.