Gebler Special Forces Version One

by Bonnie E

This is my story about the Gebler Special Forces - Vance, Renk, Stratski, Helmholz and Broyer - and what happens to them after the battle in Nortune. Chapter 5 is finally here!

4. Nortune, City of Fortune

Chapter 4

Gebler Special Forces
Chapter 4
Nortune, City of Fortune

Well, here it is, finally after two and a half years! Chapter four is done. It's almost twice as long as the previous chapters, so be ready for it. I still need a beta reader for this chapter and the entire story, so if you're interested, just e-mail me from my profile. Be aware the rating for this chapter is PG-13 due to language.

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Days passed as they traveled through the desert.

Vance alternated the odd catnap and tinkering with Clawknight's components, because naps were all he could allow himself before the bad dreams overcame him. His body was clearly drained, and everyone noticed he was on edge. When Victor or Knute tried to jibe him, Renk tersely told them to leave him alone. Otherwise, Renk was also quiet, still engulfed in his own grief, and sleeping almost as little as Vance.

A week later, the remaining Special Forces members reached the edge of the desert and left the sandbuggy with the Kislev border guards. It was true that the borders had once again been opened up for free passage. It would only be another day or two until they were back in Nortune.

Vance was having one of his short naps and Renk had gone for a walk, leaving Victor and Knute alone around the fire they had set on the open plain.

"Say, Vic, I bet you're not gonna run into your old man's arms when we get back to Nortune, eh?"

"I don't even want to see that old fool. Never gave a damn about me, feeling's mutual."

Knute nodded. "Nah, I don't really want to see my parents, either. You know they'd chide me about taking off like that. Tell me how I'd wrecked my life. I'll show them. I'll make something of myself one day."

"That being said..." Victor added. "What do you suppose we do when we get to Nortune?"

Knute closed his eyes for a second, trying to come up with a quick answer. But he found none except the truth. "Hmmm...I hadn't thought about it. What do you think?"

"Well...we're gonna need to get jobs, I guess. Put our lives back together and do something else."

"Do you think the Kislev military needs gear pilots?"

"I think the Kislev Military's currently on standby, now that Shakhan's been overthrown and the new king of Aveh wants peace. They're probably sending guys home rather than drafting them. Besides, their gears are old and all beaten up, and they'd be hell to ride. We've ridden older, but still, Solaris gears can spoil a person..."

"When was that? What beat-up gears did we ride?" Knute asked. He couldn't remember doing that at all. Then again, there were huge chunks of time he couldn't remember just yet.

Victor fell silent for an awkward moment. "Did I say that? Forget it."

Knute shrugged, choosing to ignore it. "Hmm...well, I'm not becoming a city guard."

"What's wrong with city guard?"

"City guard is WAY beyond me!" Knute said. "I've been there, done that. Don't tell me you don't feel the same way."

Victor took off his glasses, glanced at them in the firelight, and then rubbed them clean with his shirt. "Yeah. I see where you're coming from," he said. "But what else do we know how to do?"

Knute thought about it again. "I know we know how to do lots of stuff, but...none of it's really useful. Not here, anyway."

"Yeah, I've been thinking that, too. And there's not just us to think about. What about Vance and Renk?"

"I wouldn't worry about Vance. See him tinkering with that thing he took out of Clawknight? He'll find a good job doing something with computers. And Renk...well, just because city guard is beyond us, doesn't mean it's beyond him. Besides, I don't think he's ready yet. Give him a couple months, and maybe he'll feel up to working. We can look after him until then. After all he's done for us in the last couple years, it's the least we can do for him."

"Yeah, you're right."

Knute shook his head. "This is too much to think about tonight. Let's worry about it in the morning when we get there."

* * * * * *

Steam rose from the Kislev capital of Nortune, coating everything around it, especially in the lower ranked blocks, C, B and D. Ninety percent of the population lived in the Residential C block, while five percent were criminals who lived in the D Block Prison. B block was dedicated to industrial use. The other five percent lived in the prestigious A Block. This was where Knute and Victor had both been born. Tucked far on the outskirts of Nortune, as far from the prison as possible, the area also managed to be absolved of most of the steam, which was a by-product of power generation. The people lived well in large homes, the celebrities, the CEOs, and the rest of the affluent. The only person of wealth in the town who hadn't taken residence in A block was Kislev's own Kaiser Sigmund, who chose to live in the same building as his office for convenience and security reasons..

"This place hasn't changed at all," Knute said.

"Yes. Still steamy....except up in A block, I'm sure."

"Yeah. Those guys take the hard-made energy from B block and don't have to suffer like everyone else. Always thinking too much of themselves."

"I know."

Vance walked a bit farther ahead of the group. "So this is what this place looks like from the ground."

"It's the world's largest city. Ta da. Nortune. Home of the Helmholzs and Stratskis."

"You said you guys aren't going home, though," Vance said.

"Well no, we aren't...but Nortune is still ours even if that's not with our families. We still did grow up here. And there were some friends I wouldn't mind looking up. It's nostalgia too, I guess," Victor said.

"Besides, if we're going to get a job anywhere on this world, it'll be here. You'll like it here, Vance. A high-tech haven. Sure, it's still not Solaris, but it's as close as you'll come on the surface," Knute agreed.

The boy nodded. Victor could tell it was a genuine sentiment from Vance, so he let it be. "I guess for now we can get ourselves a room at the inn until we're settled in, and then we can find places of our own once we've saved up a bit. How's that sound, Knute?"

"Good, good. That'll work."

"Uh huh. But let's still take a step at a time. It's late, it's been a long walk, and I could really stand for some sleep. Let's get a room and start looking for a job in the morning."

* * * * * *

The next morning when Knute rose, he realized Vance was already awake -- either already awake, or hadn't gone to sleep yet. The boy had turned the small desk in the far corner of the room into a workbench that was already covered in a menagerie of spare gear and computer parts. At first Knute didn't dare approach him. Besides, he had to look perfect for the trip into B block. He and Knute had gone out for some local clothing after checking into the inn the night before, so they wouldn't stand out or be spotted by Solarian spies.

When Knute got out of the bathroom after about an hour of preening himself, he realized Vance was still busy working. He'd never seen him into anything quite that much before, so he became curious.

"Working on anything interesting?" Knute asked.

"Don't know yet," Vance responded, not even looking up from his work. Knute noticed Vance's hands were a little bit shaky, and something inside Knute told him to mention it.

"You should get some sleep, Vance. Look, you're not doing so hot."

"What the hell would you know?" he replied again, and his hands became even more shaky. "Leave me alone, Knute."

"Hey, I was just worried about you. You're shaking."

"My hands are fine. Go away."

"Whaaatever...." Knute responded, shaking his head. If I knew we hadn't thrown away all our Drive with the gears, I'd swear the squirt was on it again...

"You ready to go, Knute?" Victor asked him.

"Yeah."

"Finally.....man, you're as bad as a woman sometimes."

Knute stuck out his tongue. "Pppth."

Victor rolled his eyes at the sentiment as he usually did, and turned to go.

"Hey, you guys..." Vance called out, still not looking up from his work.

"What?" Victor asked.

"When Renk woke up for a few minutes, he told me to tell you both good luck."

Victor nodded. "Tell him thanks. We'd better go. See ya, Vance."

Vance acknowledged them with a small wave that was more a token gesture than a true sentiment. Knute shrugged it off, and turned back to the task at hand.

"Where do you think we should start?" Knute asked.

"Hmm...perhaps the factory district?"

"Factory? I suppose I could do that for awhile. I haven't done it yet. And with the war ending, they'll start to put their money in commerce again. My dad must be ecstatic."

"Yeah, mine too. They hated it when the war flared up because it was bad for business."

"Can't make money selling anything if everyone's money is going into buying armor and weapons. Wonder if the business is even around anymore."

"Your dad probably wrangled it and got into the armor and weapons business."

"Yeah. Your dad, too. Anyway, let's just look and see what's available."

* * * * * *

A whole day had gone by, and Victor and Knute had pretty much exhausted all their options in the factories in the west end of B block.

"Let's just try this one last place. You never know," Knute said.

"Yeah, okay. What is this place? Another weapons factory? You know all the other ones before have been in the process of shutting down."

"I know. But you never know. Asking won't hurt."

Victor shrugged then stretched. " I can't believe we've been at this all day. I almost forgot how nerve-wracking looking for a job can be. At least Solaris places you. You don't have to go through this agony."

"Well, if they place you in a job you hate, then I'd rather look," Knute said.

"Hey, did you have a problem with being a soldier in Gebler?"

"Not me. But I knew people who hated what they were doing. Sure, if they saw you had talent in something else, they'd move you up, but..."

"Yeah, well....looking back it sort of worked sometimes."

"Sometimes, I guess. I wonder how that chick who owned the import store ever got to start her own business. Wonder if she had to apply for it specially."

"Probably had to sleep with Krelian or something." The thought made Victor shudder. "That Krelian guy still gives me the creeps. If I never see him again, it'll be too much."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

The pair stepped into the main office where a lone receptionist sat. She still appeared to be somewhat busy, though the two noted there was not much noise coming from the direction of the factory.

"Uh huh....no, we're not going to be slowing down production until the peace agreement with Aveh is officially signed. But I'm still not sure if that means we're hiring. I suppose it couldn't hurt to ask the boss, though. I'll call him out. Please, gentlemen. Have a seat."

Another office, another boss. Victor really hated it. He had never been passed over so much before. It had always been so easy -- walk in, get the job. His training for the Special Forces had been hard, but he never thought at any point that he wouldn't make the cut. And here he and Knute had been told 'sorry' so many times just in that day alone...what if it would be like this for a long time?

Eventually a man entered the lobby. He was tall, svelte in form, grey-haired, and, by the way he carried himself, important.

Victor's eyes went wide as he beheld the man who he hadn't seen in years. His father, Kroner Helmholz, was a powerful man in the business world of Nortune. But greater still was the power he had over his son.

"Oh, great. What's HE doing here?" he whispered quietly to Knute.

"What? Who?" Knute said, also looking up. "Ah...oh, no. But... I thought your dad owned a sandbuggy company. This is a weapons factory. And what the heck would the CEO be doing down here with the riffraff?"

"He probably bought this factory when the war heated up again. And...my dad was always a 'hands-on' sort of guy. But no time to ponder it. Let's get out of here before he sees me..."

"I'm with you," Knute said, already standing and walking towards the door.

"Oh, gentlemen! Please don't leave! Mr. Helmholz said he would speak with you since foreman is busy."

"Yes, gentlemen," Victor's dad spoke. "Please come in."

The commanding voice ripped into Victor's head. An old feeling came over him -- the one that froze at the sound of his father's voice. He had never been able to ignore him or disobey him in his presence. Not with that booming, imperative voice.

"Hey, Vic? Let's go..." Knute said, shaking on the arm.

Victor shook his head silently. "I - I..."

"Wait a moment," Victor's father said. "Don't I know you from somewhere, gentlemen?"

Knute tugged at his arm, but instead Victor chose to turn back towards the receptionist's desk, staring at the older man, but not saying a word.

"Victor..." the man's voice bellowed. It was hard to tell exactly what was meant by his tone, but it was enough to completely draw Victor in. It had been so long since his father had spoken to him, but the effect was still there.

"Father..." he spoke in response for lack of nothing better to say.

"Why...Victor, it really IS you. I wasn't sure. You were just a boy when you ran away."

"Yeah.... I -- I came back..."

"What brings you back to Nortune?"

His father's voice was cold, emotionless. Victor would have preferred it for his father to be mad. For once would the man show some sort of sign that he cared?

"Just came back. We're looking for a job."

"Hmm...a job? Aren't many of those, I'm afraid."

"Doesn't seem to be, no..."

"And that's originally why you were here, I'm supposing. You didn't know I own this factory now. Weaponry was a good business, but if this treaty gets signed, there's not much potential for profit in the future. I've had to lay off 75% of the workers in this factory as it is. Of course, I do still have the parts factory, and it's going well, but my days in weaponry are over."

Victor knew what his father was basically saying, "Forget it. I'm not giving you a job." and something about that really pained him. But he couldn't let his father see his disappointment. He remembered once hearing his father whisper, "My son is weak-willed. He's too dependent on me. I'll have to send him away to teach him about self reliance. The Academy helped me. It will also help him."

After that, Knute became Victor's family. Even though their parents had known each other, they had never met until they both attended school at the Academy. Knute was two grades younger than Victor, but Knute had been there since his schooling began. When Victor and Knute had been given a dorm room together, they quickly became inseparable. Victor became like a big brother for Knute, while Stratski revitalized the serious Helmholz.

"So...there are no jobs for us," Knute asked to clarify what Victor already knew. Yes, he knew his father wouldn't be as generous as a father perhaps should be.

"No, I'm afraid not. Not in my company."

"Well, I'm sorry I wasted your precious time," Knute said with a slightly sarcastic tone Victor would never dare use with his father. Then again, he wasn't trying to stop Knute from saying the things. After all, Victor would say them if he has the ability to stand up against this man. But his father only nodded, not even seeming phased.

"However...if you both made some contacts, you might find your task easier. I'm having a party at my mansion tonight, and a lot of important people are going to be in attendance. You're both invited, if you wish."

A party... Victor remembered them... noisy, but dignified. But the faces had all been strangers when he was much younger. Now some of them might be people he knew and went to school with, but... did he really care?

"We'll think about it," Knute said as if reading Victor's mind. "Let's go, Vic."

Outside the door, Victor stopped a minute, resisting the temptation to go back inside.

"Ugh... I hate the way that guy's got control over me. Let's just keep walking, Knute."

Knute nodded and led them away.

Victor could only look at his feet as he and Knute headed back to the inn. Knute could understand the disappointment in his friend's expression. Kroner Helmholz was not a man one wanted to make angry. The couple times in Victor's life that he had tried to disobey him, he was punished severely, usually with a humiliation so great that it had beaten him into submission. Knute hated the effect the powerful man had on his best friend. He just wanted to punch Kroner Helmholz for all the coldness he had shown towards his own son.

"Your dad snaps his fingers and you beg. It's always been like that, Victor," Knute said, not intending to sound like he was lecturing, but that's how Victor took it.

"I can't help it. He's a very commanding person. I just hear his voice and I freeze. It's been that way since I was little."

Knute sighed. "Ever since I've known you, at least. I don't have a problem like that."

"Yeah, well..."

"Vic, your dad doesn't matter. What I meant was...it's okay that you froze like that. Didn't matter, anyway. Gave me a chance to give him a piece of my mind..."

"Please, Knute. Don't get in trouble because of me. It's not important."

"Hey, what are buds for, right? And like hell it's not important. That man's treated you like crap your whole life. One of these days, I'm gonna hit the man, honest."

Victor remained silent, so Knute decided to change the subject. "So...are you going to go?"

"I think so. You?

"No way. That's not my scene."

Victor cleared his throat, as if he almost said something he didn't want to. "It's not really my scene either, Knute. But I'm a little curious to see where some of the people from school have ended up."

Knute thought about it. When he and Victor had left Nortune, they had left behind that life. The first night, over a crackling fire, the two of them made a pact never to return to that world. It was a memory so vivid to Knute, more vivid than most of them had been. It was that promise, that memory, that he held on to so closely when things had looked down on their short journey here on the surface.

"One night. Just to see some of the old gang, see what they've made of their lives. But that'll be the end for me."

"I know. Me too. It's sheer curiosity with me. But I wonder...."

"Wonder what?"

Victor shook his head. "Nothing. Never mind. If that's meant to come back to you, it will. I'll just have to count my blessings it won't happen."

"You're holding something back? Hey, that's not fair, Vic. You know I still have a lot of missing pieces."

"Yeah, well....that's one piece I hope you go on missing."

"Is it really that bad?"

"I thought so. You'd likely disagree."

"Then you should tell me."

"In due time, it'll come back. I'm not telling you, Knute."

"I hate you, Vic."

"Yeah, well...it's for your own good."

"Well, okay. But it had better be...." Knute looked at his feet. He hated the holes that were still in his memory, but Victor was right. They'd come back when they were important.

Knute saw his semi-casual clothes and realized that outside his Gebler uniform, he had no other respectable outfit to wear to the party.

"Say...I don't have a suit."

"I was thinking it would probably be good enough if we took off the robe portion of our uniforms. Still looks sort of military, but it doesn't look too funny."

"Hmmm...could work."

"I hated that stupid robe part, anyway."

"Yeah. Whoever designed Gebler's uniforms had no taste."

"Hmmm. True. So should we invite Vance and Renk?"

"Nah. They'd be bored to death. Besides, I don't think Renk would be in the mood and Vance might make an ass of himself."

"Off Drive, he's a completely different person. Even though he has been a little snarky lately."

"Still...why torture him with a boring party where he doesn't know anybody?"

"Yeah, good point. Never mind, then."

Knute and Victor stepped up to the inn silently.

"Say...." Knute said, almost like an afterthought. "I just wondered...do you think my parents will be there?"

"Probably."

"I don't know if I can face them, Vic."

"Ah, come on. You're curious to find out what happened to people, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Alright. Let's get ready."

* * * * * *

The party was rather extravagant, held in a large ballroom of the mansion that had been Victor's childhood home. He approached it with a bit of apprehension, but then gained his nerve when he realized he was not a stranger here.

"Ah, hello!" came an older voice which approached Victor and Knute quickly. The face that matched it was a family friend of the Helmholz, but Victor had never liked him. However, that didn't mean he could pretend.

"Mr. Tenek," Victor said, hiding his true feelings behind a smile. "How are you?"

"Oh, things have been just great, just great! I never knew the war flaring up would be so beneficial to my business. We decided to expand and blah blah blah..."

Victor looked desperately for an opening, but there was none in sight. Knute was also looking around. After a minute, Knute nudged him. "It's Porland."

Victor looked off in the direction Knute was motioning to. So it was Porland Devera. Back at the Academy, Porland had often been a third member of Victor and Knute's partnership in crime. He was a little bigger than when they had all been in school together, but he still appeared to be the same Porland with the boisterous laugh. Victor's eyes met with that of his old friend, and Victor lightly waved.

"A friend of yours?" Mr. Tenek observed. "Ah, yes, yes. Gentlemen, I completely understand! You want to see your friends -- not yammer on with an old crow like me. You know, this reminds me of a time when..."

Victor and Knute ducked away before the man could go any farther.

"Why if it isn't Vic Helmholz and Knute Stratski!" Porland said, approaching them.

"Hey hey!" Victor held out his hand for a high five but it was ignored.

"So what have you pair been up to?" Porland asked.

"Not much..." Knute replied.

"Aaah, I thought so. As my father and I both theorized, we knew you'd come crawling back when you grew tired of your game -- whatever it was. Now maybe you can do something respectable with your lives..."

Victor felt a distinct urge to hit his old friend, but held himself back skillfully. Porland went on, ripping in to how much of a mistake it had been to leave, his completely facetious tone only grating on Victor's nerves.

"Well, what would you know?" Knute asked with a completely straight face. If Victor hadn't been so peeved himself, he might have actually tried to stop him. "You wanted to go with us, but you chickened out at the last minute. And until you've been through what Vic and I have been through, don't you DARE trash us...have a NICE day, Porland, you overstuffed coward."

Knute walked away with his back straight with pride. Victor couldn't think of many moments where he had been as proud of his pal.

How could people change so much? To think Porland had once been one of his very best friends so long ago.

The others they ran into weren't much better. They met up with several more whom they had chummed around with in a younger day, when they all vowed not to become their parents. They all had. Shallow, arrogant, with money being the most important thing in their lives. Was it fate? Would he and Knute eventually end up the same way?

"Well, that was yet another simply depressing scene, don't you think, pal?" Knute said after the latest friend had smited their foolishness. Despite the calm, almost deadpan way it had been said, Victor knew it was Knute's way of trying to cheer himself up.

"Yeah..." Victor replied. "You know, I've seen enough. I've had it with this crummy party. What say we split?"

"Hey, that sounds great.... but didn't you want to look around a bit before you go? You said you wanted to, and you haven't been in this house in a loooong time."

"And probably not ever again."

"Yeah, well...you know you want to see how it's changed."

"Well, yeah. Wanna come?"

"Nah. It's just a big house. I'll stay down here. I'll just hide in the corner where nobody will bug me. You go on."

"'Kay, then. Won't be long."

* * * * * *

Knute watched as Victor walked off, then he retreated to a corner where he thought people might leave him alone. But there was one person who noticed him.

"Wow! It's been a long time since we've seen your face around here, sir! Knute Stratski, how are you?"

The voice was familiar, but despite all of Knute's efforts, he couldn't place the face. But what was instantly clear was that this man was not like the other partygoers. He held a tray of cocktails in his hand, so he was obviously a servant.

"Um....sorry....it's been a long time, so I don't remember..."

"It's me, James. I used to work for your parents. I suppose you might not remember me. You spent a good portion of your life away at boarding school."

"Ugh! Tell me about it. I'm sorry I don't remember you -- James, was it?"

The man nodded. "It's not a problem, sir. I'm sort of used to being forgettable. After all, I'm only the help. Um... were you looking for your mother? She's over there by the punch bowl."

Knute looked over and saw that James was right. For a moment he hesitated. He hadn't planned on ever running into his parents again, and here his mother was. He watched her carefully, and there was something wrong with the entire image. Knute couldn't put his finger on it at first. But when he did, it was clear.

Where's dad? He and mom were always inseparable at these things. Weird they wouldn't be together, and weird mom isn't surrounded in friends like usual, too. She hates the quiet...

"Well, I suppose I should get back to my work now. Please take care of yourself," James said. With little more, he dismissed himself. Knute wasn't paying much attention. He was still staring at his mother.

"Well..." Knute breathed, "here goes..."

The very fact she was not surrounded in friends was certainly strange. But despite the bad feeling it gave Knute, he still approached her.

"Hello.... Mother..." he said politely.

It was another few seconds before the woman turned to face him. Her icy eyes chilled him with their very glance. Yes, he knew she could be cold, but never quite like this.

"Oh...you...." she spoke lowly, her tone remaining suspiciously unemotional.

"Mom..."

She turned away from him. "Don't call me that."

Her words struck him, but he didn't know what to say at first. "Um... mother, it's Knute... your son..."

"I am aware of who you are. Of who you were. I couldn't ever forget the way my son looked. Just as I will never forget the devastated look on your father's face when he realized you'd abandoned him. Because of you, I lost the most important thing in my life."

The most important thing? Knute knew what that was, but how could he believe it? It would explain why his dad wasn't there at the party, but...it couldn't be true that he was dead.... It just...

"Mom...where is dad? He's not..."

"He is!" she hissed. "And you killed him.... So now I am alone.... And the last thing I need is you. You are not my son anymore. Leave me be..."

How could it be? What was his mom talking about? This didn't make any sense...

"Mom..." he said again, almost a whisper, but she didn't hear it.... Or didn't acknowledge it. Not hearing it he could take, but ignoring...

"You'd best do as she says, sir," James said. Knute hadn't even seen the servant approach. But he was welcome if only to break a bit of the tension.

"But..."

"She doesn't want you around anymore, and you know she's a stubborn woman... Come on. I'll tell you what happened."

Knute nodded while taking one more look at his mother's turned back. James led him to a quiet corner of the party.

"Tell me...what happened?" Knute asked.

"Not long after you left, your father died. It was a massive heart attack... he was dead before he even hit the floor. Your mom, though...she couldn't accept it. She's gone a little bit... off. I guess that's the nice way to put it. She pushed away everyone... even her closest friends. She became impossible to work for, which is the main reason I'm working for Kroner Helmholz now. She was always looking for someone to blame, so she chose you, convincing herself that your father died of heartbreak over losing you. Your father was her world, and when he died, so did she on the inside. Nobody can reach her. So... it's best to leave her to her misery."

Knute heard the story, but didn't want to believe it. How could things have changed so much? It wasn't like he had expected a magical reunion or anything, but this was still so... wrong...

"Are you okay, Mr. Stratski?"

"Uh.... Yeah...I'll be...I'll be fine. Just let me stand here and be alone for awhile."

"Alright. You're sure you don't need anything?"

"Actually, there is something you can get me..."

"Yes, sir?"

"I'll have a.... Heck, just get me something hard from the bar. Surprise me."

James nodded, then walked away. Knute was happy for the silence and time to reflect.

* * * * * *

The Helmholz mansion had changed very little. It was like Victor stepped back in time, to a day when he was much younger, much greener, and a lot more optimistic. Victor wandered the second floor in near silence, the only sounds coming from the far-off party.

It's been a lot of years. I hardly remember how many.... It's almost like this isn't my house....

Nonsense. This is your home. You aren't a stranger here...

Then why do I feel like one?

This has never been the place I remember most fondly... I remember my dorm room... the one I shared with my best friend... my little brother... that's where any memories resembling fond in my mind rest....

This is just a big house. Just....a big house....

Why did I decide to come back here? What did I expect to find? Acceptance? Old friends? Perhaps, but I come here only to find that....everyone but myself and Knute I have become one of -- them. I should have expected that. They care about nothing but money. I suppose when it was the only pleasure in your childhood, it sticks. At least I had my best friend.... Knute's been by my side the whole time. Everyone else is just an old smile. Many of my memories haven't returned yet. Or maybe I just...didn't have many worthy of remembering ...

Victor stopped when he reached the doorway of a familiar room. He hadn't been in his bedroom in many years, not since the final summer he had been home from the academy.

He pushed the door open slowly and was a little shocked by what he saw. But not in any way surprised.

His bedroom had been turned into an office, his things long gone to who knew where. His only place in the entire house was no longer his.

Figures....this proves I was never anything but in the way for him. He doesn't even keep any tiny piece of this huge house that I can call my own.... I truly am a stranger here...

"I didn't expect you'd ever return," came that commanding voice from behind him: his father. Though the anger over his bedroom disappearing rose inside of Victor, he could never release it. Not before this dignified figure who had such power over him.

I hate him. Why can't I stick up for myself? Why do I always let him push me around?

"Well, I did return...." Victor said because it was all he was able to. He glanced at his father and once again saw no emotion in his eyes. He had always been such a cold man...

"I see that, yes. It appears as if you've been in the military."

"Well....yes....that's true, but I'm certain you wouldn't know the country."

"I don't recognize the uniform, but I'm sure you aren't lying to me."

I never have been able to lie to your face, father. I've never been able to do anything but cower at your words. And in return I have been given nothing but this kick in the teeth. Can't you for once just tell me if I mean anything to you at all?

"Listen, I've been thinking about earlier today," his father said. "And I don't think it's necessary for you to waste your time looking for a job in a factory that is well beneath people of our class. It so happens I do have a position open for you in the accounting department. Of course you aren't certified yet, but you could work up to that."

Victor stared at his father. He would have been touched by the gesture if only it had been anything different than the grand plan his father had always had for him. Since Victor was a child, his father always had this fixed idea of his son becoming an accountant, then working his way up in the business to take over for him. And here he was with this 'great' offer which would just prove how right Victor's father was about him. 'Weak-willed'. Not a son but clay to be molded into whatever shape was desired. Was he going to allow himself to be bent yet again?

No. Not this time.

"Well....I don't think that would be in my best interests right now."

His father cast a glance at him carefully, but Victor couldn't figure out his expression. "Are you certain, Victor?" he replied, his voice somehow...different.

"I'm certain."

"Well, if you ever change your mind, the offer will stand. I suppose I should return to the party now. You should, too. There's nothing up here of interest anymore. And I suspect you should get back downstairs. When your friend Mr. Stratski finds out about his father's death, then he's probably going to need you."

Victor watched his father leave silently. Nothing of interest, indeed. His father had destroyed whatever familiarity Victor might have had in this large house.

Victor's thoughts moved to his father's last statement, which was the one that concerned him most.

Knute's father? Dead? But...I have to get back down there.

* * * * * *

Knute still watched the party, sipping his drink slowly. He wanted to get drunk, completely blasted, but something inside him stopped him from losing control. He just wanted to leave, never come back to this stupid world. Hell, he didn't even want to be in Nortune anymore. Dammit! Why had he even come back here in the first place? There was nothing but pain here!

Like a light through his darkness, he caught sight of her sunny ringlets bouncing in the distance. At first her face was merely familiar, but when he finally had a chance to get a better look at her, a flash of memory overcame him. He remembered her name, her soft skin, her gentle kisses... and the look on her face that last night he had laid eyes on her.

* * *

"We're going to run away. All three of us - Victor, Porland and I."

"Run....away?" Lolessa spoke, shocked.

"Get away from all this. Find out who we are! It will be great.... out on the open road. seeing the world..."

"Really...?"

Knute nodded. "I want you to come with us."

"Me?"

"Lolessa, I love you and I want to be by your side forever. You've always talked about getting out, too. Now's your chance! Come with us!"

"Well....I don't know..." she said. "It's so sudden."

"We aren't going until tomorrow night. That gives you a day to think about it."

She walked a few feet away from him. "I don't think I can do it. There's... well... I have school and my friends, and.... but.... oh, Knute, I just don't want to lose you!"

"I'll come back for you. Once I discover who I am, I'll come back for you. Don't forget that."

* * *

That had been his promise, but one he had not been able to keep... until now. Why had Victor not told him about his first and only love?

No matter. Now she was here before him, her golden curls bouncing as she ran up to him. "Ohhhh, Knute...it's been so long..." She spoke, her voice a sweet song. After looking him over a couple seconds, she took him in an embrace. He didn't know what to say. What could he? This was like he had never left.

"Lolessa...it's been....forever..." he whispered in her ear. He had missed this so much without even knowing it.

"Oh, Knutie, Knutie, Knutie...has it been five years already?"

"Yeah...five long years..."

"A lot's happened since then," she said.

"Oh, that's for sure...but for now...just keep holding me, alright?"

Lolessa squeezed him tighter, and all the coldness and sadness in his heart melted. This endless moment filled him with a deep sense of security and love. What did it matter that he had been disowned by his own mother? Lolessa, the woman of his dreams, was here.

"Hey YOU!" said a weasely man Knute hadn't even seen until he opened his mouth. He opened his eyes to see a familiar face. Neddy "Nedward" Schlumberger had been a year younger than Knute when they both attended the Academy. Neddy had been the butt of many jokes, not just from Knute and Victor, but all the boys. He was a spindly boy, as spindly as he was now, as a man. His voice had an adenoidal quality and his disposition had always left something to be desired. He had been the most spoiled boy at the academy because of his coddling mother, and he knew it. He loved to rub it in the faces of the other boys. Even with so many missing pieces in his memories, Knute could never forget Neddy. Permanently, anyway. Not that he didn't want to or anything...

"Hey, HEY! Neddy! You're here, too?"

The short man approached them. "Of course I am, self absorbed preppy-boy! And get your mitts off my wife!"

The words struck Knute like a kick in the teeth. My wife... Neddy hadn't really said that, had he?

"Oh, Neddy-poo, don't be so silly. Knutie is an old friend of mine," Lolessa said casually.

"Old friend?!" Knute exclaimed. "Lolessa, this isn't true! You're not really married to.... HIM.... are you?!"

"Well, yes. Of course. He's my snuggie-poo." Lolessa put her arm around Neddy and pulled him closer.

"Lolessa... weren't we going to get married? You have that ring I gave you and everything!"

"Oh, yeah. That. I sold it."

"You...sold..." Knute felt chills fill him. "But...I...you...we...I wasn't... I love you, Lolessa. We were going to get married when I got back."

"Oh. You took too long. I mean, I thought you'd be back in a day or two, but six whole long days went by and I just couldn't wait anymore. So when Neddy comforted me, we fell in love and, well...*tee hee*!!"

"Yeah," Neddy interrupted. "I mean, what kind of jerk would abandon his fiancée like that?"

"You stay out of this, you little weasel!" Knute said, lunging for him.

"NO!" Lolessa intervened. "Knutie, don't! Don't hit him! It's not going to change my mind! Neddy is my snookums. We had a great thing once, but it's over. I don't love you anymore. But if you want, we can still be friends."

FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS.... Her words echoed in Knute's mind mockingly. He felt his heart fill with anger, betrayal and utter sadness. Before he could control himself, he exploded.

"NEVER MIND! I don't want to be your fiance, friend or anything else! I don't want to have anything to do with you ever again! Just leave me the hell alone! I hate you! I hate you and this entire damn city! goddammit, I hate myself!" He was shaking all over as he said it, even though he didn't truly know why he was saying what he did. In reality, he just wanted to wish Lolessa away to some place safe and quiet where they both could live together in peace and happiness, far from Nortune, Solaris and the whole damn war. But...she didn't love him anymore. This was truly over. The girl who he had subconsciously wanted for all those years in Solaris...was gone. And he really didn't have anyone to blame but himself for going away in the first place. If only he had never left.

He felt a familiar hand on his shoulder, and Victor's voice speaking in a comforting tone. "Hey, Knute...let's get out of here, okay? Lolessa isn't important."

Knute took one last glance at Lolessa, who seemed unfazed by anything he had said. She tipped her head and spoke to Neddy in a bubbly tone, "Gee...do you think I hurt his feelings?"

Knute merely shook his head in disgust and walked away, Victor following him closely.

"What happened?" Victor asked.

"She's married..." Knute said lowly.

"Married?"

"She married...HIM!"

Victor stifled a laugh. "That nerd? You're kidding, right?"

"Hey, don't laugh!"

"Oh -- I'm sorry... I'm not laughing at you...It's just....oh, man... Isn't THAT typical..."

Knute ignored Victor's laughter and stared at his feet again. Victor stopped laughing and asked, "Are you okay, Knute?"

"Yeah, well...I'll be fine, I guess...." he spoke, his tone very unsure.

"I never liked her, anyway," Victor added.

"I know......" Knute looked up at Victor, who looked awkward. "Why did you keep her a secret from me? That was the secret, right?"

"Yes. And as for why......she's a dink. I mean, I've seen rodents with bigger IQs than her. Knute, you're a smart guy, and you deserve better than her. Believe me... And I've been proven right. She's broken your heart, as I always suspected she would. The way I look at it, she's not worth it if she'd marry a jerk like him."

"I guess, but....I loved her...."

"I just thought it would be less painful for you if you never remembered her at all. But I knew I couldn't hide it from you forever. I knew she'd be here. She's always at these big parties. And I knew she never would have waited for you. I know her type."

Knute didn't respond. He only kept glancing at his feet.

"You want to ditch this party?" Victor asked.

Knute nodded.

"Yeah, me too. This just isn't my scene. Let's get out of here."

Soon the pair were far out of A block, and on their way back to the residential district. Knute was still silent, lost in his own thoughts.

Lolessa....how could she do this to me? I loved her so much... and dad...you were so charismatic and strong....I looked up to you. I just... didn't want your life. Maybe you died... because you were sad I went away?

Nonsense. You packed me up and sent me to school because you were too busy to deal with me on a daily basis. If you cared about my presence, you wouldn't have sent me away. Maybe you were always ashamed of me? Well....I'm going to prove you wrong. I'm going to make something of my life. I'll show you all that you pushed away someone great. As long as Vic's by my side, I can do anything I want.

"My father and I had a talk..." Victor spoke suddenly.

"Huh? What about?"

"He asked me to come work for him. He has a position for me in the accounting department. I'd have to work up to being certified, though."

"Accounting? How dull."

"Yeah, I know."

"Wasn't that your dad's grand plan for you all along?"

"Yeah. That's how he got started. He always thought it would be a viable career for me, to teach me the way the business works...."

"Well, you're not going to take it, are you?"

"No. I don't think so. If tonight taught me one thing, it's that I was right for leaving that life. I don't fit in to that crowd. Besides, an accountant? How dull..."

"Good. That's a relief."

Victor nodded.

"So...what are we going to do, then?" Knute asked.

Victor shook his head. "I don't know. Just plug along. There's bound to be something out there we can do. We've only been out there a day. Just because one area has no work, doesn't mean there aren't other areas that do."

* * * * * *

When they got back to their room at the inn Renk was asleep, and Vance was still working on something under the desk lamp.

"Hey, Vance..." Victor greeted.

"Hi...." he said in an aggravated tone, not looking up.

"That was a waste of an evening," Victor spoke.

"Ssssh! I'm on to something here!" Vance snapped.

"Ooooh...touchy...." Victor responded, walking over and glancing over Vance's shoulder. "What is it?"

"Give me a second....just back off!"

Victor raised his hands and did so. Vance had been so on-edge lately. He decided to leave him alone.

Knute sighed and sat down, pulling off his jacket. Victor sat beside him.

"You sure you're alright?"

Knute nodded. "Yeah. Just leave me alone for a bit, okay?"

Victor nodded and rose again to get ready for sleep. Knute also rose and went into the bathroom. He shut the door quickly, and Victor knew why. Knute had too much pride to cry in front of anyone, not even him, his best friend.

"Okay, I'm done. Wanna see?" Vance announced.

Victor nodded and went over.

Sitting on the desk was a wild assortment of parts. Victor noticed his GPS had become a part of it.

"Um...did you ask me if you could use that?"

"You weren't here to ask," Vance replied.

Victor shrugged. "Oh, well. It didn't work, anyway."

"Exactly. That's the point. Actually, the GPS itself wasn't broken. The command centre it gets its signals from got busted, or rather, destroyed when Etrenank blew up. So I decided to take the components and utilize them to adapt your current GPS into a device which taps into electromagnetic fields in the earth, hence this big magnet I pulled out of Clawknight. It will guide the..."

"Vance...VANCE!" Vic interrupted. "Can you speak a plain language? Lamb or Solarian, I don't care, but not what you're speaking."

"I am speaking Solarian if you'd just listen."

"No, you're speaking techie! Make it simple. I'm a technical idiot."

Vance sighed. "It's a GPS. It just works now. Simple enough for you? I made it so we don't need the control center that used to be in Etrenank."

"And it works?"

"It should. I built it."

"Yeah, well, we should test it out, anyway."

Vance looked deflated. "Whatever," he said coldly, then went back to it. He punched some numbers into the GPS' control pad.

"I told it to look for Dazil. It's thinking about it..."

The machine beeped, and Vance looked at it. "It says it's at co-ordinates 20 north and 151 east. We're at 39 north and 122 east. It's not to the exact degree, but close enough."

"Wow, I remember that -- that's right! Hey, kid, you're pretty good at this stuff."

Vance beamed proudly. "Of course. I'm a ace."

"I'll believe you from now on."

"You'd better."

"But I do have one humble question..."

"What?"

"Why do we need a GPS now that we're here in Nortune?"

Vance looked at his invention, then back up at Victor. "I don't know. I just wanted to do it. Maybe it will help someone else someday."

Victor saw a strange change in his friend's expression. Vance thinking of someone other than himself? Impossible, was he hearing things right?

"Helping others...didn't know you had it in you."

Vance looked insulted. "Yeah, well, that proves what you know! Forget it. Just leave me alone. I need to do some finishing touches. Tomorrow I'm going to work on a communicator so we can monitor transmissions from the control ship. You'll like that invention."

Victor knew he had made a mistake. "I didn't mean I hated it. I just don't think we're going to have a use for it. I didn't mean to get your back up, kid."

"Yeah, whatever. Just let me work....okay?"

"Okay.....um....good night, Vance."

"Huh! Good night....say is Knute coming out of there? I've gotta go."

How could Victor respond to that without giving Knute away?

"I think he's taking a shower. You know how he is about cleanliness, and this place is so steamy..."

"He'd better hurry up and do it then, because I'm gonna pee myself if he doesn't finish in five minutes!"

Victor went over to the door and knocked. "Hear that, bud? You've got five minutes, or Vance is gonna pee himself!"

"I'll be out in a minute! Dammit, just leave me alone, already!" Knute called.

Victor thought, Well, it's time for Victor to escape Crabbyville and go to bed. He's gonna wake up in the morning and hope everyone's much happier and less willing to bite his head off.

"You two work it out. I'm getting some sleep."

* * * * * *

The next three days proved just as hopeless as the first one had been. Knute's mood was still basically mopey, though Victor could tell he was trying to keep his humor up. The constant rejection was really beginning to bother his friend - Victor could tell by the way Knute's nomally proud, deliberate strides were more like a hesitant shuffling of his feet.

"Say, Knute...maybe we should stop by a bar and have a drink before we go back?" Victor had to admit he could use one, too.

"Yeah, okay," Knute responded halfheartedly, but then perked up. "But we've gotta keep an eye on you, welterweight. You know how quickly alcohol floors you, and you're too heavy to drag back to the inn."

Victor found it hard not to laugh. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't remind me. I'll be careful. Let's just go," Victor said, entering the closest one, Knute trailing behind him.

"What can I do ya fer, gentlemen?" the barkeep asked.

"I'll have a beer," Knute said simply.

Victor nodded. "Yeah, me too."

Within seconds, the two had their beer.

"Aaaah...This is going to hit the spot, I tell ya..." Knute said.

"Hey, Knute..." Victor said with less wistfulness than he had all day. "Let's toast. I mean, my dad's a jerk, you've been dumped and disowned, and we can't find a job. So... we'll toast to looking ahead, and not letting all this crap ruin us."

"Hey, now you're talking! Toast to our buddydom forever, my bro."

A grizzled old man who was sitting next to Knute looked up at the two men, puzzled for a moment.

"You...It's you..." he spoke, loud enough to make Victor and Knute put down their drinks and stop toasting.

"What are you talking about, old man?" Knute asked.

"You're Knute Stratski...and you're Victor Helmholz."

"Eeeeeyeah..." Knute said.

"The Hopes..." the old man whispered.

Victor tried not to gasp when the man said it, but it was apparent that title meant nothing to Knute.

"I don't know what you're talking about, old..."

"No, Knute...hold on," Victor said. "You just don't remember him yet. Manarin...it is you, isn't it?"

Manarin Oliveret... Victor remembered when that name had meant power... strength... a great dream he shared with others. Single-handedly, Oliveret had organized a rebellion, gathered men from all over Kislev... all with the dream of overthrowing Kaiser Sigmund and his monarchist government in favor of a new democracy, free of war and strife.

However, what Manarin had in power, strength and respect, he lacked in youth and charisma. For that, he enlisted the help of his two proteges - two rich boys who had left their aristocratic life behind to fight for a greater good in Kislev.

Victor and Knute were the leaders of the resistance movement...or at least in face. The fact Oliveret was more of a fighter and wasn't really interested in leading a nation made him pass on the honor to the young boys. It was waiting for them when they finally won.

* * *

"Yeah! Yahoo!" Victor called out as the gear he was fighting fell backwards with a crash. Ah, the feeling of being in a gear was like nothing else.

The first time he had stepped inside one of the huge mechas, it was like he had found a lost friend. The members of the Resistance Army were amazed at how quickly Victor had learned the basics. Knute's abilities were on-par, though. This was what made Manarin pay attention to two boys from Nortune's A Block. As their skills with the gears continued to rapidly grow, so did the respect they received from the Kislev Liberation Army. Manarin dubbed them the "Hopes" and promised them a place in the new order.

But they had really just been kids back then....so many mistakes...now hidden with Victor's silence.

"You bastard...that was a cheap move..." said Knute's voice through Victor's communicator, sounding very perturbed. But Victor remembered what had happened the previous day.

"Oh, and like your cheap shot yesterday was COMPLETELY fair..." Victor responded.

"That was different," Knute said as his gear tried unsuccessfully to rise to its feet. "My cheap move was at least somewhat honorable. Yours was just cheap."

Victor rolled his eyes. "Whaaaaatever." He held out his gear's hand to Knute's and helped pull it up.

"I'm hungry," Knute stated.

"Well, Manarin said Della prepared a mini feast for us so we'd have luck tomorrow when we storm Kislev."

"Then let's go get some grub, man," Knute said, opening his cockpit and descending his ladder.

Two other men came up to the pair as they turned to leave. Brilland, the taller of the two older men, was the commander of the Resistance's Gear Battalion. "Hey, Knute, Victor...if you want any of our gears to be left for the battle tomorrow, you'll ease up on us, 'kay?"

"Brilland, it not our fault that you suck," Knute replied.

Brilland hit him lightly on the arm. "Yeah, I know I suck at gear combat compared to YOU two, we all do, but that doesn't mean squat when Lockner's shouting in my ear about needing special parts or spending all night fixing the gear I just wrecked because you guys chewed it up."

Lockner replied, "I spend more time fixing them then you all do battling in 'em. You think I LIKE slaving in a hot workshop because some stupid gear pilot doesn't know how to freakin' duck? This one's gonna be a week-long job, and the war'll be all over by then. Thanks a lot, Brilland. You're all gonna have to be a lot better than THAT tomorrow to get anywhere. Which is why we should let the REAL gear pilots go off and get something to eat. YOU!" Lockner said, pointing at Brilland. "Bring me my tools!"

Brilland sighed. "See you two tomorrow, fellows. Big day, right?"

Storming Kislev...it had been the day before, hadn't it? The excitement in the base was obvious as people, both tense but hopeful, wandered the halls of the large house that had turned into the Army's stronghold. Everyone waved to the two as they walked towards the small dining hall. Most of these people had become Victor's friends. What had happened? Had he inadvertently betrayed them all? Were none of them left in Nortune?

The cook's merry smile filled Victor with warmth, just as much as her hearty homemade soup. Della was like the mother Victor never had.

"You boys off playing with those gears again?" she asked.

"I whipped him," Victor spoke with a smile.

"Hey! You were being cheap!" Knute retorted.

Della laughed. "I swear, those things are like an extension of your limbs. Most men twice your age who have spent years in gears aren't so good."

"I guess we both have a knack," Victor said.

"You sure do. Which is why you two are the Hopes. You're going to lead us into battle and help rebuild Kislev into a strong, democratic nation. Now you both eat up. Want you two to stay strong for tomorrow."

It was the night before the first strike against Kaiser Sigmund and his monarchy. Of course Victor remembered it now. He remembered this place fondly - the base for the Kislev Liberation Army - The Resistance to most.

"Hey, if you're doing the cooking, then that's not a problem at all," Knute said in a flirting tone. "Not like it matters. Your smiling face is all the food I need."

Della began blushing and walked back towards the kitchen singing.

"You're sickening," Victor said.

"You'd make more women blush if you bothered to play the game."

"Hey, aren't you in love with Lolessa?"

Knute scoffed. "Hell, yeah! But who says a little flirting is harmful?"

Victor put his face in his hand and shook it. "You're impossible."

"Mmmpg...nuffing m'possible 'bout me," Knute said with a full mouth of food. "You jus' don' understand me. munch"

"I understand you too well. That's the problem."

Knute feigned a hurt expression. "Come on. You know I'd never cheat on Lolessa. Why would I? She's the most gorgeous thing around."

Victor tried to keep his face even and hide his contempt for Knute's fiancée. "Yeah, if you say so."

"Hey, I know she's not your type," Knute said, then took a long sip of soup right from the bowl. When he swallowed, he continued. "I wouldn't cheat on her, just like she'd never cheat on me. We're completely devoted to each other, man."

"Yep...guess so."

Victor tried to hide his doubts about that through a mouthful of food.

Manarin approached the table and leaned on it with most of his weight.

"Hey, Manarin," Victor replied after he finished chewing.

Manarin nodded, but then gave Knute a wicked glare. "Hey, Knute..." he said, sitting down in a chair and moving as close to Knute as possible. He put a large arm on Knute's shoulder. "Knute, my boy... I hear you're flirting with my wife again."

Knute didn't look at him. He only nodded, chewing on his food, but looking nervous.

Manarin continued. "Heh heh! If you weren't going to be one of the future leaders of Nortune, I'd be kicking your ass right now."

Knute looked ready to spit out his food on the table. Manarin stood quickly and hit Knute affectionately on the back. "Heheheh! Easy, boy. You know I'm kiddin', right? Like Della would even LOOK at a runt like you when she can have good ol' perfect me!"

Knute swallowed his food quickly, but grimaced as if he hadn't chewed it enough. "Perfect my ass," he responded.

Manarin just laughed. "Well, you two keep eating. You're gonna need to look your best when you're going before the city as their new leaders, right?"

"Hell, yeah. Won't my dad be surprised!" Knute said. "Surprised to see I made something of my 'worthless hide', eh, Vic?"

"Well, we shouldn't celebrate yet. We've got the drive, but this fight might go on a lot longer then we think it might," Victor said. "Hate to put a damper on things, but we do have to be a bit realistic."

"Pessimistic is more like it," Knute said. "Ignore him. He always sees the bad side of things."

Manarin nodded. "But I'm afraid he's right. War isn't easy, boy. And it is possible that we might be fighting longer than we think. But what matters is that we will win, right?"

The two nodded and finished off the last couple bites of their meals.

"Don't you two worry about a thing," Manarin said. "My guys have got it under control. I've just got out of a meeting with Hamel and he's got our strategy down. Tell ya, it's a damn good plan, too. But like I said, don't worry about it. I'll brief everyone in the morning. Now don't you kids stay up too late now."

"We won't, Manarin," Victor spoke. "I'm sort of tired, anyway."

Manarin lightly patted both of them on the back. "Then good night, boys! Kislev's destiny awaits!"

Full and tired, Victor and Knute walked back to their bedroom in the safe house just outside the destroyed town of Asimila, to the north-east of Nortune.

"I am so ready for bed," Victor said, then yawned. "Big day tomorrow. You excited?"

Knute nodded. "Yep. Who knows what will be different this time tomorrow."

"Uh huh."

"I'm ready for some shut eye, too, but there's just one more thing I've gotta do first."

"What?" Victor wondered.

Knute didn't respond at first. He went inside and took his boots off wordlessly instead.

"What do you have to do?" Victor asked again.

"Just something. Don't worry about it."

Victor's curiosity had been piqued. "What?!"

"Leave me alone, Vic."

Victor noticed something in Knute's hands and grabbed for it. Knute tried to keep it but Victor was faster. He looked at it and saw it was a letter. It was addressed to Lolessa, in Nortune. Victor decided not to read the letter inside. He didn't want to destroy such a fine meal.

"Knute, you know you can't mail this."

"Aw, come on, Vic. I just want her to know I'm okay and that I'm coming home soon."

"No! You know we can't mail anything to Nortune from the base. Knute, you know that."

"Aw, come on! They aren't going to notice one little letter."

"And if they do? Knute, we can't take that chance."

Knute's expression was truly pitiful, but Victor had learned how to ignore it long ago.

"Knute, I'm sorry. I know what Lolessa means to you, and I know she deserves to know you're okay. But what will it matter if it's going to be all over tomorrow?"

"Don't be stupid, Vic! You said yourself this might not be over tomorrow. And then what? Huh? Lolessa goes on wondering if I'm alive or dead? How long should I expect her to wait and wonder? And what if I don't make it, huh? I want her to at least know I died doing something worthwhile!"

Victor was appalled. "You tell her what we're doing here?! Are you stupid?!"

Knute grabbed for the letter, but Victor's considerably taller frame kept it well out of his reach.

"Vic, don't make me hit you, man...." Knute said with venom. Victor quickly backed away, completely believing his friend's threats. He'd never seen Knute so furious before. Especially not at him. But he wouldn't give Knute back the letter. That would be sacrificing the cause he had been fighting for and believing in for months. And he could hardly believe Knute would be willing to risk it all so easily for a girl who didn't deserve him, anyway.

"You've always hated Lolessa! You're doing this to hurt her!"

"No!" Victor said. "I'm doing this for the Resistance! For Kislev! I can't let anyone, not even you, compromise our cause!" Victor ripped the letter into pieces quickly, then threw them back at Knute.

For a moment the room was silent, but the tension in the air was heavy. Knute's expression turned from anger to hatred, his brown eyes flashing. "You fucking BASTARD!" he retorted and swung at Victor before he could even comprehend what had happened. Victor fell to the ground, clutching his jaw. He should have expected Knute to react like this. Lolessa was one topic he could get quite rabid about. But regardless, Victor stood his ground.

"You know I'm right, Knute," he said, not even trying to get up. It seemed Knute had backed off and was staring at his feet, not daring to look at him.

"Don't talk to me," Knute said quietly, his tone still hateful and very serious. "Don't ever talk to me again..." With that, Knute left the room quickly.

Victor thought for a moment that Knute might try to re-write the letter and send it, but he knew Knute's pain was partly due to the fact he had realized he couldn't. Love could be such a difficult thing, especially being apart. He knew how much it had hurt Knute to leave Lolessa in the first place. But still... the serious, hateful tone...

Victor felt his throbbing chin, but it didn't hurt as much as the pain in his heart. Victor wondered whether Knute would ever talk to him again. If he knew Knute, he'd probably never forgive him if something happened and Lolessa went on never knowing...

To win Kislev only to lose his best friend in the world would be pointless. All the years they'd been together, all the fun times they'd had...no, they couldn't be over in an instant.

Victor slowly stood and looked at the torn up letter, scattered over the floor. He closed his eyes, fighting the temptation for awhile, but then he scooped them up. Victor couldn't let it end like this. Not with he and Knute never speaking ever again.

He didn't read the letter, even when he had pieced it together. That was a private thing. He only taped it together on the back with the crude, thick tape they made in Nortune, then addressed another envelope to Lolessa Guin in Nortune.

As he called the pigeon and tied the letter to its leg, he felt a strange numbness. He crossed his fingers as he sent it on its way, and prayed quickly for the safety of the Resistance. His only comfort was in remembering Knute's words, "I just want to tell her I'll be home soon. And if I don't make it, I want her to at least know I died doing something worthwhile."

Doing something worthwhile... Victor had never done anything more worthwhile in his life then fighting with the Resistance. Whether his life was to go on, or end the next day, he wanted to be by Knute's side. His best friend, his soul brother...forever.

The light outside the window of his room glowed brightly, almost blinding him. And then....

The next thing he remembered was being spoken to in a strange tongue. But worst of all...

Who am I? Who...? Why can't I remember my name?

The young man who was standing next to him had long, white hair and was familiar... but he'd be darned if he could remember his name, either.

The other two men in the room were the ones yattering on in the gibberish, making Victor nervous.

"What's going on? Who are you?"

"It's pointless. They won't talk to you," the man with the white hair said.

"You...you understand me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. But I don't have a damn clue what's going on, either."

Victor fought for a piece of memory, but the only thing he was sure of was that he had seen the white-haired man before.

"Do I - know you?" Victor asked.

"Hell, I'm not even sure if I know myself right about now," the white haired man responded.

"Gentlemen..." one of the gibberish-speaking men said finally in some way Victor could understand. "So good to see you've both made an almost full recovery after your accident. You may not remember who you are, and it's only natural, given the circumstances. So I shall tell you. It's much easier to cope with the memory loss when you know about yourself." He walked over to the white-haired man. "You are Knute Stratski... you are an orphan, single and are from Sector 115 Worker Bee camp. You are a gear pilot in Gebler. Your rank is private, yet you have much talent. You will be working alongside Corporal Jensen of patrol force platoon F."

"Knute...Stratski..." the man said, trying out his name.

Knute Stratski...that name sounds familiar...but why?

"And you..." he said, pointing right at him. "You are Victor Helmholz. You are also an orphan, single, and live in Sector 110 Worker Bee camp. You are also a gear pilot in Gebler. You are very talented in gear combat, as well. You will be under the command of Corporal Schazen of patrol force platoon B. Your hard work has not gone unnoticed, gentlemen, yet it would not be proper for us to promote you at this juncture, given your current condition. Is that clear, gentlemen?"

Victor Helmholz... Somehow it seemed right, but... the name was all he had.

"You will both be required to re-establish yourselves in the Solarian tongue in order to perform your duties. We will provide you will classes which you will be required to pass, unless you wish to be demoted. Is that clear, gentlemen?"

Victor nodded, for he felt he had little say in the matter.

"Very well, then. That will be all, gentlemen. Allow the guards to show you to your rooms. Remember...work hard, get promoted!"

The guard led Victor away with a simply wave of his hand. The man in plain brown armour was completely silent the entire way out of the complex, not even daring to look at Victor during their journey. He didn't mind at first - he was too busy seeing Solaris for the first time, and somehow being amazed by all the strange things he was certain he'd never seen before. But as they entered the Worker Bee camp, with its high wall of faceless, characterless abodes, he decided to ask the guard something that had been on his mind the entire time.

"Hey...so what happened to me? What kind of accident was it?" Victor asked the guard as he was led into the camp.

The guard shrugged. "I don't know. We aren't really told about what happens on these levels much."

"And Sector 110?"

"No. Not there, even though I live there," the guard said.

"Then you must know more about me than what they told me."

"No. I don't know you."

"No? But I live here, don't I?"

"You might. Maybe you didn't before. In-out...in-out...people come in and out of this place so fast. Getting promoted, getting demoted. Maybe you lived somewhere else before the accident. Or maybe you did live here. I don't know everyone."

Victor shrugged. He wasn't satisfied with the answer, but he chose to accept it.

"This is your home."

Victor stepped into the tiny room and didn't recognize a thing. It looked lived-in, but it didn't feel as if he had lived in it.

"I'm certain it will all come back to you in time. And if it doesn't, don't worry about it too much. Life is so fulfilling here! There's no point in mulling over the past," the guard said.

"Yeah, uh...I guess."

"Well, I'll leave you now. Tomorrow another guard will show you where to take your classes and where to go for work. You're lucky! I dream for a job in Gebler! Work hard, get promoted!" The guard bowed lightly and left.

Victor looked around. No, there was certainly something wrong about this. But... who was he to say or judge? Everything had been so carefully worded as to not arouse suspicion. The Solarians just said he had amnesia... it was the best way to assimilate the kidnapped Lambs. Both brilliant and horrible.

Victor quickly adapted to life in Solaris, deciding it easier to accept his position then worry about if there was more to it than an accident. He caught on to the Solarian language quickly, as did his classmate, Knute. As good as they were at catching on, their teacher was not sad to see them go. The time he spent fooling around in class with Knute was the most familiar thing about this place, and once again, they became fast friends.

From the moment Victor stepped into a Gebler gear, it was as if he had done it his entire life. Even though in retrospect, he and Knute had only begun learning how to pilot gears when they joined the Resistance, he felt as comfortable in a gear as he did when he chummed around with Knute. His skills improved quickly, and he became so good at piloting that he was promoted to the elite Special Forces and given an identical gear to that of his new commander, Renk Elcide.

Not much after Victor's promotion, Knute was also promoted to the Special Forces. Now both out of the Worker Bee camps, the two moved into apartments across from each other in Etrenank, and Victor completely forgot about the strange circumstances that had brought him to this city in the clouds.

* * *

Victor set his eyes upon Manarin again, who was so sick, thin and pale - a shadow of his former rugged, strongly-built self.

"You two..." he grumbled. His breath reeked of alcohol, and his eyes were glassy and bloodshot. "You... Helmholz and Stratski....how dare you come back here? It's all your fault, you immature fools..."

"W-what?" Victor asked, shocked. He hadn't imagined seeing Manarin again would be like this, that the old man would react such. What had happened while they were gone?

"Because of you, I lost everything. We lost everything. We looked for you two for days, but poof it was like you vanished! Without the Hopes, we lost our will to fight. We...lost hope. Kaiser Sigmund found us and brought his army to slaughter us. I'm one of the only ones left. Even Della died at their hands...I have nothing left. And it's all your fault."

Victor was stricken by their words. All his friends from the Resistance killed... how could things have changed so much just by he and Knute not being there?

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Manarin screeched suddenly and rose from his stool. "Ya both deserve to be dead for what you did! Murderers!"

Knute looked completely bewildered, but Victor chose to back away. "I'm not thirsty anymore. I think we'd both better go."

"Yeah, go! Go, you fools! What were you thinking mailing a letter from the base to Nortune, eh?! What were ya, stupid!? Well, they found us, thanks to you and this goddamn letter!"

Victor saw Manarin pull out a tattered piece of paper, taped together crudely. No...it couldn't be...?

"I keep this damn letter with me to remind me how goddamn stupid I was trusting a bunch of lovesick kids to something important! Damn bastards shoved it in my face as the base burned around me..." Manarin walked up to Knute and pushed him. "What were you thinking?! Goddammit, what were you thinking!? Stupid lovesick fool!"

"We really are going now," Victor said quickly. He threw the money for the drinks on the bar, took Knute's sleeve and quickly departed.

Numbness filled Victor's entire body. He remembered the Resistance... They had all been his friends. He even hoped to run into some of them down here on the surface. Maybe that had been why his mind had desired to return to Nortune... but because he had actually decided to mail that letter....

But of course. By that time, Lolessa would have been seeing Neddy. Her father was a general in Kaiser Sigmund's army. Why wouldn't she betray them? Even if she didn't, the chances of it getting intercepted were greater than average, given her father's position. Oh, why did he mail that letter? Della, Lockner, Brilland... all his friends... gone because of that letter...

"What's going on, Vic? What was that guy talking about?" Knute asked.

Victor sighed. "The Kislev Liberation Army. You don't remember it, do you?"

Knute was silent as if he were attempting to gather his memories. "The name seems familiar. Is that from that chunk of time I can't remember?"

Victor nodded. "Yeah. But...I suppose with all you've been through this week already, maybe it's good you don't remember it just yet."

"I suppose it will come back. After all, Lolessa did. Much as I wish it hadn't."

"Mmmm..." Victor nodded. He shook his head sadly. "Let's just go back to the inn."

Knute nodded in agreement. "Say...do you think we made a mistake coming back here?"

"You wanted your memories back, didn't you?"

"Not if they're only going to depress me."

Victor sighed. "Well, we're here now. There isn't much else we can do about it now, right?"

Knute...if you didn't want your memories back, I'd pack up and head back to Dazil right now. Finn is so lucky he's surrounded in people who love him. What I wouldn't do for a family like his.

The pair arrived back at the inn and were surprised to see Renk standing outside, looking up at the sky.

"Lot of stars tonight," he replied, his voice hollow.

Victor also looked up. "Yeah. Amazing over the city."

Renk nodded.

"How are you feeling, Renk?" Knute asked.

The Captain nodded. "Okay, I guess. But..."

"But?" Victor asked when Renk paused.

"Nothing. Nothing you two would understand. Just...kind of a feeling I'm getting. That something bad is coming, right? Ah, it's stupid. I just can't seem to put my guard down for a minute."

Knute put his hand on Renk's shoulder. "Hey, it's no problem. But... don't worry. Solaris won't find us here."

"I know. That makes logical sense, Stratski, but... Nah, forget it. Just a stupid feeling. I'm assuming you two didn't have any luck?"

"Nah..." Victor spoke, his voice distant. He was still thinking about the letter as the guilt threatened to clamp down on his throat.

"You okay, Helm?" Renk asked.

"Yeah, I'm alright, too. I'll be alright."

"Well, okay. I'm going to bed. I'm still really tired," Renk said.

"You sleep well, Renk," Victor replied. I know I won't...

"Say, Vic..." Knute said just as he moved to follow Renk inside. "What was he talking about with that letter? What did I do? What happened?"

Victor looked at his friend, and didn't know how to say it. "It's nothing you did. I'm the one who did it. And... well... we'll both deal with that when the time comes that you remember it. I don't think I should tell you until you remember it. You might see it differently than I did."

Knute put his hand on Victor's chest to prevent him from going inside. "Look, I'm tired of you keeping stuff from me. Just tell me, okay? If you think I'm gonna get all mad at you or something, then why don't you just have the balls to deal with it now instead of later? I hate being in the damn dark!"

Victor pushed by him, not daring to make eye contact. How could he tell him what had happened? How close they had come to never speaking again? How could he allow even one small piece of the blame he now felt to be shared by his best friend?

"I don't want to fight with you anymore, Knute. Really. Please, just forget it."

"We're fighting now, aren't we?! Goddammit, Vic! Just tell me the truth! Stop hiding stuff from me! What did you do? What did I do? I need to know....come on..."

Victor sighed again. Knute sure was stubborn, and, sure enough, would always end up getting his own way.

Just like he did with the letter...

No, don't think about the stupid letter. Just tell Knute what happened...

"Okay. I'll tell you what happened....but please don't be mad with me, Knute."

Victor told the entire story to his friend, who still looked bewildered through most of the story. Maybe he never would have remembered it on his own. Whatever Solaris had done, it worked much better and had been much harsher on Knute's brain than his own, for sure. But now that Knute knew the truth about the Resistance and what had happened that night, he felt a bit of tension off his soul.

"What the hell was so horrible about that?" Knute asked. "So I was being an asshole, and you told me so."

"Yeah, but..."

"Hey, man...don't worry about it. It obviously didn't scar me so badly that Solaris couldn't erase it. Hell, I don't know if I'll EVER get all my memories back. Which is probably a good thing, because Nortune sucks, and so do the memories from this place.. God, I hate it here," Knute said.

Victor laughed slightly. He guessed Knute wasn't mad. He'd know it if he was. Knute didn't hold things in like that. Not like he did. He kept everything inside.

But...the past was the past. Maybe the destruction of the Resistance had been his fault, or perhaps not. Maybe they already knew where they were...there were too many things he didn't know in order to feel guilty about it. He'd put it away until another time. Bring it out when his mind was much clearer for thinking.

"Yeah, I hate this place, too," Victor agreed. "Still...I wish we hadn't been sent to destroy this place back when."

Knute nodded. "I'm glad the mission failed, too. I guess it's still home, whether I like it or not."

Victor only stared up at the stars, saying nothing more.

"Say," Knute said, "do you think this is going to work? Do you think we're really going to find a job?"

Victor shook his head. "Dunno."

"Do you think we need a new strategy?"

"Maybe we do. What do you think we should do?"

Knute looked at his nails a second. "Well, I was thinking...we might do better if we try applying to places separately. I'm not suggesting we should split up for good or anything, but they're more likely to hire one person than two. And that way we can cover more ground faster. What do you think?"

"Well, it's a plan, and right now we really don't have one. So let's give it a shot for a day or two. See how it works out."

Knute nodded. "Of course it'll work. I'm brilliant."

Victor rolled his eyes. "Of COURSE you are..."

* * * * * *

The next morning, Victor had decided to take the northwestern end of the city around the arena, while Knute headed off to the northeastern sections.

Things in the northwestern end were quiet as the D Block prison came nearer. Victor had also never been to this end of the city, except once or twice as a child to see the Tournament.

He passed a small door along the far end of the arena and noticed a small sign hanging from it, reading "Help Wanted." Victor shrugged, wondering what sort of work would be available, and went inside.

It was a dark inside as Victor had expected, but nothing had prepared him for the stench which predominated the air. It was familiar...but not so familiar that he could instantly identify it. That was likely a good thing.

"Be right there," a voice from inside an off-shooting room said. "Here about the job?"

"Uh..." Victor said, trying not to breathe too much. "Yeah..."

"Okay...one minute. Feel free to have a seat..."

Victor looked around and saw two wooden chairs at a small table. He quickly checked them for splinters, then sat down when he was satisfied.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't "THE GREAT" Victor Helmholz!"

For a moment, Victor couldn't place the face of the short, skinny man who now stood before him with a crooked smile. Someone else from the Resistance? No. Someone from school? No.... hmm... Solaris? Definitely not.

"Oh, I'm hurt!" the man said. "I mean, in theory, I know I was a nobody, but I'd expect at least you to recognize me, Vic."

Vic... Someone who would call him Vic. Only Knute and his closest friends from school called him that...

"It's me! Shimm!"

Oh, yeah... Crystal clear... "Uh..."

The man pouted. "You really did forget me. Well, I should have figured as much..."

Victor wished he could remember what his status with this Shimm person had been so he'd know how to best fake a good impression. After all, it appeared as if this person might possibly be the boss.

"Uh...sorry... my memories... have been kinda scattered recently. I'm sure it's nothing personal."

The one named Shimm narrowed his eyes, completely non-plussed. "Yeah...right."

Victor fought desperately for the identity of this 'Shimm'. There had to be some reason why he couldn't remember, even with a name.

Probably the forgettable type, Victor thought to himself.

"Okay, let me give you a few hints, then. Your mansion. Summers. Garbage can."

Garbage can! Oh YEAH! No wonder... As Victor suspected, completely forgettable. In fact, he was sure he'd have forgotten Shimm even without Solaris' brain job. This guy Shimm had been born like a barnacle while Victor was growing up, always bothering him. As the son of two of the Helmholz servants, he had always been there in the mansion, trailing Victor like a shadow. In the hall, in the family room, in the garden...in the bathroom! Victor could barely stand it! Maybe if Shimm hadn't been so irritating, it might have been bearable having him around so much. But Shimm's constant chatter would grate on any saint's nerves. In that regard, being sent away to boarding school most of the year was a great mercy.

Summers became bearable when Knute and Victor joined forces against his shadow. Not that Shimm ever got the hint, even after being dumped into the garbage can almost daily. Dense...annoying...clingy...that was Shimm in a nutshell.

And now Victor wanted a job from him.

Victor hated irony.

Ah, well, he thought. Roll with it and do you best. It's all you can do.

"Ah HAH! Now I remember you, Slim Shimm."

The man shuddered. "Don't call me that..."

Victor fought the urge to say "Call you what, Slim Shimm?" but then he remembered why he was there.

"Okay, I won't."

Shimm looked surprised, staring at Victor with his mouth slightly agape. "Wha-hoh! Very different from the Vic I used to know. I'm surprised you didn't use that to your advantage. You would have before."

"Yeah, well..." Victor said, because it was all he could bring himself to do.

"Sooo..." Shimm spoke, leaning on the wall. "You need a job now, do you?"

"Uh..." Could Victor swallow his pride and fathom working for....

"Yeah, I need a job," he replied, deciding that this was his only choice. He was doing this for all his friends, and his own pride didn't matter at that moment.

"Hmmmmm....well, you're probably over-qualified, seeing as you went to a hoity-toity school, and all."

"Do you think I'd be here if I was qualified for more?"

Shimm turned away. "It's yucky work."

Yucky? For a minute, Victor paused, but then remembered again how badly he needed a job. "I can take it," he said.

Shimm chucked. "Hmmm...the prospect of having you work for me is appealing. Well, okay. You start at eight tomorrow. Right here."

Victor tried to get excited, but found it hard. Then he supposed that he could do any job for awhile until he thought of what he wanted to do long term.

"Thanks, Shimm."

"Oh HOH! Believe me, this will be LOADS of fun..."

Victor turned to leave, but then stopped when a question came into his head.

"Say, Shimm? Your family has worked for the Helmholzs for generations. Why didn't you decide to stay?"

Shimm broke out into that irritating horse laugh again. Victor could hardly believe he'd never grown out of it. "I thought about it...and realized that staying would be an easy way out, but...then I realized...I didn't want to work for you. Have a good day, Vic."

* * * * * *

"Hey, you got a job? That's good!" Renk said when Victor announced it to the group.

"Hey, great, Vic!" Knute said, even happier than Renk was. "Then maybe my day will come soon."

"Yeah, hope so..." Victor hoped Knute would have better luck than he did... He sighed and sat down on one of the beds.

"Heyyyy, what is it?" Knute asked.

"Do you remember Shimm?"

Knute went distant for only a couple seconds. "Oh, yeah! Slim Shimm, your shadow!"

"Weird you remember him when I barely could."

"Your mind probably didn't WANT to remember him. I wouldn't. So... what about him?"

"Well, ah..." Victor paused, knowing the news would become a source of endless ridicule from Knute. But what were friends for, right?

"Shimm...is my boss."

There was a pause and a stunned expression from Knute. But it was quickly broken by a loud guffaw.

"You are such a good friend," Victor spoke dryly as Knute continued to laugh.

"I - I know...but Shimm...Your BOSS! What's that little weasel doing now?!"

Victor realized that he hadn't actually asked what the specifics of the 'yucky work' were.

"Well...something at the Arena."

"Really, now? Doing what?"

"Uh, well...I'm pretty sure he works in the stables...or something."

"Stables?! You're a stable boy!" Knute laughed again.

"Shut up, Knute," Victor said, dryly again.

"Sorry...sorry...oh, my ribs...Ohhh, hey wait...Why would a gear battle arena have a stable?"

The thought seemed to strike them both at once. Victor's face paled. "The...They have a Rankar... don't they?"

"Uh - well... Been nice knowing ya, Vic," Knute said, and laughed again.

"Shut up, Knute..."

* * * * * *

"Uuugh!"

Victor crinkled his nose as a smell unlike anything he had smelled before assaulted him.

The Rankar, a giant dinosaur-like creature, was used in the Battling Tournaments at the Arena. But where there were animals, there was waste, and that was someone's job to pick up. Namely him.Victor had seen the huge pile and his eyes almost fell out from the shock.

"...and of course you have to pick that all up and take it to the incinerator," Shimm said, putting a shovel in Victor's hand. "It's gotta be done before the Rankar finishes its battle. You've got about two minutes."

"TWO MINUTES?!"

"Uh huh. So you'd better hustle. Good luck, Mr. Helmholz."

For a stunned second, Victor could only stare at his project. But then he remembered "two minutes" and saw the Rankar's jaws around him and turning him into lunch. He decided he'd best get to work. Furiously he shoveled the pile, and he got discouraged when he saw he had barely made a dent. He began to dig faster and faster. The crowd rose up in cheers in the background. Victor heard the Rankar's roars form the arena and his heart fluttered into a panic. He didn't think he had ever worked so fast...

"Ah...I see you're almost done....impressive," Shimm said from outside the cage.

"Don't....have time....to talk...the Rankar..."

Shimm began to chuckle softly, and quickly it became roaring laughter. Victor realized Shimm was laughing at him.

"What?!"

"You new guys...always...fall for that trick..."

"TRICK?"

Victor was hardly amused. He was covered in dung from head to toe, and already exhausted from shoveling so quickly.

"Don't worry. The Rankar has two stables. He makes such a mess, we clean one stable while he stays in the other one. Besides, the keeper has him under control. You're completely safe." Shimm laughed again, a hearty laugh. "I woulda thought you, the practical joke king, woulda seen way through that trick. Guess you're not as good as they say....but I am impressed with your work. Never seen any scoop up so much shit in so little time. I think this is going to work out great! Well, keep working and get the stall spotless. I'll be back shortly to see how you're doin'."

Shimm left Victor steaming mad. How could that little weasel have gotten the better of him like that? Well...Victor couldn't leave it like that. He would have to get even. But... how? He needed to take some time and think about it. He knew he would have plenty of time as he shoveled away.

Victor continued to work, his mind half on his revenge, and half on how much the job sucked.

I could not, and would not do this my whole life if I could help it.... but for now... until I find something better, this will have to do... no matter how much of a brain-drain it is.

"Say, Vic," Shimm asked later when he sauntered by to check on him.

"What?" Victor half groaned and half snapped.

"I was wondrin'...what a rich kid like you is doing in a job like this? I mean... you have the chance to be anything you want. You can go to the best schools, make connections. Things people of my class just can't do as well, if at all. I was just the son of a servant....I didn't have the opportunities you did. So now I'm stuck shoveling shit my whole life."

Victor thought about all he had been through since leaving the school. Had it been worth it? Would he have just been better off succumbing to his father's will and becoming an accountant? He supposed it wasn't a bad job, really...compared to this one, it was a great job - just boring. He could live with boring. At least it was boring and respectable. But could he let his father win? Never. That would be worse than working at the stables.

"I see what you mean, Shimm," Victor said. " I made some mistakes in my life. Big ones. But...I'm still young enough to fix them. Do you think I want to shovel shit my whole life?"

"Who wants to?" Shimm asked. "I think the only job worse than this one is probably the guy who scrapes the road kill off the street. I saw a guy doing that once, and it made me feel better about my job."

"Yeah, probably..." Victor said. He had seen war...fought in one... killed, and almost been killed... but in 'this' world, none of it mattered. He hadn't been a hero in Solaris... and he was far less here. But at least he was a member of Gebler's elite force. Here he was only good at shoveling the dung of mindless beasts.

"Well, keep working. I'll tell you when you can take a lunch."

Victor nodded. Now his mind was filled with many more thoughts. Should he, or shouldn't he? Could he let his father win? But....just maybe....his father was right....

* * * * * *

The dusk had fallen over Nortune by the time Victor arrived back at the inn. Knute was outside, looking around in the lobby.

"So....how was your first day?" Knute asked right away.

Victor grunted. "Don't ask."

"That bad?"

"You know, that Shimm kid is as much a pain in the ass as he was when we were kids. Now he's prancing all around like he's better than me because he's got seniority over me. I don't really much care HOW long he's been shovelling shit before me. I'm going to SO get back at him tomorrow. Say, maybe you can come work at the stables. I'd have seniority over someone, then."

"Huh! No thanks. I've got a better job lined up."

"Oh you do, huh? Where?"

"The Enchantment Escort Service."

"You must be kidding," Victor spoke.

"No. They accepted me on the spot. Pretty good, huh? I always knew a simply perfect face like mine would be in high demand."

"Are you fully aware of what your tasks are, Knute?"

"Sure. Escorting women. What could be better?"

"Geez, you're awfully naive, Knute. I really don't think we're THAT desperate yet."

"Desperate? I don't know what you mean..."

Victor eyed him suspiciously. "You really have no idea, do you?"

"Idea of what?"

"Oh, geez.... If you don't know, I think I'll just let you find out for yourself. It's your body and your life. As long as you can live with yourself..."

Knute thought about it. "Oh, THAT! Oh, don't worry about that. The lady said this isn't that kind of escort service."

"Suuuure it's not."

"Hey, she gave me her word."

Victor rolled his eyes. "Whatever. So when do you start?"

"I've got an assignment for tomorrow night. I've gotta show up at the office at five. They'll fit me for a tux, and then I'll go pick up my cutie. Hey, why don't more guys use this to meet women?"

Victor didn't say anything in reply. He was still too stunned that Knute would ever consider something so stupid. "Well, just don't do anything you're going to regret."

"I told you it's not that kind of escort service."

"Okay, okay. Whatever. I'm going inside."

* * * * * *

Victor had planned his day very carefully. He did as he was asked, and even let Shimm continue to boss him around. Nothing Shimm said or did would sway Victor from his plan, however. He had made his decision, and if he was going to go, he'd do so with a good laugh.

"Now make sure this stable is spotless. I know you only just cleaned it, but the Rankar had another good win and was especially frisky today. Uh, and could you kinda pick up the pace? You're working much too slow today."

Victor knew it was a never-ending cycle of shoveling Rankar poop and other such unpleasantries. He almost felt bad for poor Shimm. Almost.

Victor looked around a corner. Shimm had gone into his office, and would probably be gone for at least fifteen minutes. Just enough time...

* * * * * *

Shimm emerged from his office to check on Victor and see whether he was done. But when he arrived at the stable, his heart stopped.

Torn clothes were strewn all over the ground, covered in blood. The gate at the back of the cage was opened wide, the hinges squeaking slightly. The sound of the Rankar's roars came from the distance.

"OH NO!" Shimm exclaimed, blanching as he saw it. "I know I joked about it, but it's never really happened! Ohmygod VICTOR!!! H-HELP! THE RANKAR'S LOOSE! IT'S EATEN MY STABLE-BOY!!!"

Victor watched the entire scene from a corner that was in shadow. This was even better than he expected. Shimm was completely wrecked. Victor saw a dark stain form on Shimm's pants, and he held back laughter. No. This was too good to destroy just yet.

Shimm began to run around in circles, having no idea what to do or how to proceed. He was screaming, "The Rankar's loose! The Rankar's loose!" and a bunch of other things Victor just couldn't make out. Ohhhhh, this was sweet revenge for the joke Shimm had played on him the day before. And Victor always had to have the last laugh.

He wanted to hold out for longer, but he couldn't help it. Shimm looked so ridiculous, running around aimlessly and screaming at every shadow.

"Relax, Shimm. The Rankar's secure in the far stables," Victor said, stepping from one of those shadows.

Shimm turned to stare at Victor and screamed. After a couple moments, Shimm screamed like a woman and pointed at Victor like he'd seen a ghost. "V-Victor...you're....you're not..."

"Nah, nah. Just a little joke."

Shimm's expression turned to one of scorn. "That wasn't funny. I nearly had a heart attack."

Victor scoffed, "Too bad. Poor Shimm needs a diaper."

"Shut up!" Shimm said, trying to cover up his mess with his hands. "You are aware I'll have to fire you for this."

"Ah, who cares? I quit. See ya, Slim Shimm."

Victor headed back to the inn quietly. Yes, he had made the right decision. He only hoped Knute would forgive him for it some day.

* * * * * *

Knute looked at the piece of paper the company had given him, then looked at the large house in A Block, not that far from his own in childhood. Oh, he remembered who lived here, though he wished that had been one of the things his memory had chosen to blot out. He had hoped this job would be a chance to meet some beautiful, single ladies, but when he had received this assignment, his image had been shattered.

"Oh, please...oh, please...oh, please...don't let her recognize me..." he chimed quietly to himself as he waited on the doorstep. A well-dressed man answered the door.

"Yes?" he asked.

Knute stood dumbfounded a moment, not knowing quite how to respond.

The butler looked perturbed. "Might I ask what your business here is?"

Um....I'm, um...I'm from Enchantment Escort Services. My name is Kn.... Karl. I'm here to pick up..."

"Ah, yes. Lady Lavand. One moment, and I will call her."

Knute hoped that somehow Lady Lavand had a young niece visiting her, though he knew it was too much to hope for. He knew that when he saw the old lady coming into the hall all dressed up to go out.

Oh, yes...he remembered Lady Lavand...a crotchety old friend of his mother's who had always lingered at the edge of his life like a bad seed.

Knute could still feel her pinching his cheeks in an act of affection gone horribly wrong. "OOOOH!! You're such a cuuute widdle boy! Cheeky cheeky!" He could hardly believe the old woman would still be alive after all these years! She had looked ancient twenty years ago. Thank goodness he had been just a child when he last saw her. Less chance she'd recognize him.

"Well, well, well....aren't you a cute young man? Boy, that service knows my taste by now. They always send me a fresh, polished one. I like polished ones..."

The way she said 'polished' made Knute's skin crawl.

"Uh...I'm Karl," he responded.

"Ah HAH! Karl! What a studmuffin they've sent me tonight. I'm so excited!"

Knute breathed a sigh of relief. At least it seemed the old woman hadn't recognized him. At least that was turning out alright.

But another chill went up his spine when Lady Lavand stealthfully reached behind him and pinched his posterior. He had never seen an old woman move so fast...or any woman...or any human, for that matter.

He gulped, trying to ignore what she had just done and keep a strong face. "I guess we should go..." he said quickly, maybe in the hope it would speed up the evening.

"Go? We aren't going anywhere..."

Knute looked at the old woman quizzically, suddenly not liking this situation one bit. "Um...but aren't I your escort?"

The old woman cackled...a familiar cackle from the nightmares of his childhood. Why couldn't his memory have blocked this?

"I love them naive... Come here, sonny. I'll show you a good time!"

She grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. Before he got over being stunned, she was on top of him, trying to rip off his clothes. He remembered the slobbery, wet kisses, the hairy lip...oh the horror! If he was going to have a first time, it was certainly not going to be like this and certainly not with this woman of all people!

For someone her age, she was deceptively strong. At first he couldn't push her off him. But then he realized he'd have to throw his entire body weight into it if he was going to break free.

"OOFFF!" he shouted, pushing the old lady off him. This caused her to roll several times before hitting the wall. He jumped to his feet and ran desperately for the door.

"Oooh...a spunky one..." Lady Lavand shouted out as Knute reached the door. But he didn't dare wait around for her to come after him again. Before he dared slow down, he was halfway back to B Block. His pace slowed to a walk, then to a slow shuffle. He didn't want to get back to the inn too quickly. He hadn't yet decided what he was going to say to the guys.

* * * * * *

Victor had been silent most of the evening. He hadn't seen Knute since he had gone off to work. After quitting his job, instead of going back to the inn right away, Victor had decided to go for a long walk around the city and think about things and how they were quickly going to change. He also wondered how he could tell Knute. His friend would be so disappointed in him when he found out.

When he finally got back, Victor had found a place by the window where he could look out on the entrance of the inn. He wanted to catch Knute before he came in and got too comfortable. Knute had been so mad at him a few days ago for keeping things from him. So...he decided that, for once, he wouldn't wait.

Though Victor's watchful eyes were on Knute, his ears were on what was happening behind him. Vance had taken his last creation, the GPS, and created a new one - this one a tracking device. Still, there was little use for it in Nortune, but Victor decided he wasn't going to say anything this time. Vance seemed so proud of it, and Renk seemed impressed, so why would he stick his nose in it?

"It's almost finished. Just about another hour or two, and I'll try it out. You're sure you don't mind, Renk?"

"Mind being a guinea pig to one of your new toys? Yeah I mind."

Vance must have looked a bit disappointed, but Victor wasn't looking at either one of them. He could only judge so by the couple seconds of silence between his friends. It was confirmed when Renk responded, "Hey, kid, you know I'm kiddin'. I don't mind helping you out at all. I need a walk, anyway. I haven't had a good drink in weeks. Maybe I'll head out for a beer and hope it isn't as lousy as the stuff was in Bledavik."

"Well, when I do get it working, just go wherever you want out there. I should be able to find you if all goes well. But hey, I'm confident this one's gonna work great. I'd test it in here, but that's kinda pointless. Now if I'd put the tracking device on Knute, then we'd know exactly where he is right now."

"Probably in that chick's bed," Renk said. "Poor Knute. He's a sucker."

"Sucker?" Vance said. "What if she's pretty?"

Renk laughed. "I doubt that!"

Victor did his best to laugh along with them, but he found it hard. No, Knute was going to hate him for this. But maybe he could help him see reason.

Eventually, he saw Knute approaching and he rose to go to the lobby.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, guys, "he said to Vance and Renk as he left. He then sighed, knowing it was time.

Knute didn't come inside after about a minute, so Victor went outside and saw Knute standing outside the inn's door, looking up at the stars.

"Hey..." Knute said when he saw his presence.

"Hi, Knute." He walked up beside him and also decided to look. You couldn't see much out here - not like it had been in the open desert. But certainly more than they had ever seen in Solaris.

"What's up?" Knute asked him, tearing him away from his view.

"Nothing much. I quit my job."

"Uh....yeah. Me too."

"Um hmmm. I supposed you wouldn't be able to do it."

"Nah."

Victor sighed. No more reason to delay this any longer than he had to.

"We've almost run out of the money Finn gave us," Victor said. "After tonight, we have no more for the inn. And only enough for two more days of food."

Knute paused, and Victor could tell that it hadn't been a surprise to his friend. Knute finally replied, "I'm beginning to wonder if it's in our best interests to commit a crime to be put in D Block. At least we'd have a decent place to sleep."

Victor didn't like Knute's response. "You're kidding, right?"

"Don't be shocked if I'm not."

Was Knute really that desperate? Well then...maybe this wasn't the wrong decision.

"Well, you can do whatever you want, Knute. I know what I have to do."

Again, more silence. Victor hated it.

"You're gonna go back and work for your dad, right? You're going to become a boring old accountant."

Victor sighed. "I don't see I have much choice. I have to eat."

Well, there it was. Out in the open. And it didn't ease Victor's heart one bit.

"Huh! I should have supposed as much."

"Don't be mad, Knute."

"I'm not mad!" he snapped. "I'm just..."

Knute walked farther ahead of him, but said nothing more.

"You feel betrayed," Victor said. Of course it was true. He was going back to the world that they had both vowed never to go back to. He probably would, as all their friends before them, become his father. Why wouldn't Knute feel betrayed? He would if it was the other way around.

"I do not feel betrayed," Knute replied, but Victor could tell the halfheartedness in his answer.

"Yeah, you do. Admit it. You feel betrayed."

Knute turned to him. "I thought we were a team. I thought we stuck together through everything."

The anger in Knute's eyes as he spoke was enough to make Victor's heart sink. But he wasn't the one who was wrong! But how could he explain it? Explain the thing that seemed so obvious to him? Knute was still younger than he was - he didn't understand...

"We still are a team. But...this is different. We're not kids anymore, Knute. This isn't Solaris, and this isn't a game. This is reality. We have to live somehow. Life on the surface sucks, but it's the way it is."

Knute still said nothing.

"Brother..." Victor said, as if it would help. He knew deep in his heart that it wouldn't, though.

"Don't...don't even try..." Knute said.

"I can find you a job in the company, too. I'm sure there's a job in PR you could do. You've got charisma. The customers will eat that up."

"Forget it."

Victor shook his head. "What is it, Knute? Your pride? Come on, it's not a bad job. And if you're good at it, you can make a lot of money."

"I don't want money!" he exclaimed.

"What do you expect me to do for you then, if you won't let me help you out?"

"I don't want your help, okay?! Just leave me alone!"

He stormed off into the night, and Victor chose not to follow him. After all, what more could he say? Things just couldn't be the way Knute wanted them to be.

"You just want to be by my side and do everything together..." Victor whispered to himself. "You've always looked at me like a big brother, but...it's time to let go, Knute. I have to go my way, and you have to go yours. It doesn't mean we have to stop being friends and stop hanging together, but...it's gonna take some adjusting for both of us. I'd be lying if...I didn't think going back was gonna be hard on me, too."

* * * * * *

Knute walked on in the Nortune night, lost in his thoughts and memories of the past.

It's as I thought. This was a bad idea. And now we're all suffering. I mean, we were better off in Solaris. There we had talent and a title and a decent apartment and decent pay...here we have nothing. If I had known what life was going to be like here, I never would have longed to leave!

We vowed to do everything together, Vic. When we decided to run away from school to 'conquer the world', we stuck together. We made a pact that we'd never become our parents, that we'd never go back to that life. That led us to join the Kislev military. We didn't need anything but each other then. Soul brothers, we called each other. Even when Solaris kidnapped us...not even reprogramming could make us forget our friendship. But now, something as simple as reality...is going to rip us apart.

I wish I was still sixteen, alone on the open plains of Kislev, trying to decide what I was going to do with my life. Had I known what would happen, I would have probably chosen a different path. Maybe when we joined the Resistance, Solaris had a chance to see something in us that meant something to them. It's not like I really loved gear combat or anything, but I was good at it. But here...I never finished school. I never aspired to anything much in this world. My mom wanted me to go into high finance, become a stock trader, but I never really liked the fact she had set up my life without asking me what I wanted, so I resisted anything she suggested. I think I regret it now. If I had been older, more mature, maybe I would have seen things more clearly.

I'm just a loser in this world.

I've never been anything but a loser.

A sparkle in the sky caught his eye, and he was drawn to it. It was as if the stars were falling from the heavens. Glints of light rained on the town, showering it in a beautiful light show.

"What the hell?" Knute asked. "This is weird..."

He chose to go back to the inn. As he entered, he saw Victor and Vance at the window, also looking at it.

"What do you suppose it is?" Victor asked.

Vance shook his head.

"I was gonna ask the same thing," Knute said.

At that moment, a strange feeling overcame Knute. He felt so much stronger -- like he could take on the world and the Emperor all by himself. Take on the Emperor? He hadn't realized until that moment that he had never considered taking on the Emperor before, even though he had always had very little respect for him. Had there been something holding him back before?

"Do you guys all feel that...?" Victor asked aloud.

Knute, Vance and Renk all nodded.

"It's -- fantastic!" Knute exclaimed. "I feel invincible!"

"Me too..." Vance spoke.

A scream pierced their ears from not far away, but that was not the first one. Many screams began to rise into the night.

"What's going on?" Knute questioned.

A creature broke through the window in the room next to them and ran off. It was hideous, whatever it was.

"What the hell was that?!" Knute said, pointing to the creature.

"I don't know. But even the ugliest demi-human doesn't compare to that thing..." Victor said.

There was a strange noise from the corner of the room which caught everyone's attention. They all turned around to investigate.

Renk was hunched over, making even more noises.

"Renk?" Knute questioned.

"G-G-Ghack...!" was all Renk could manage.

"Renk?!" Vance exclaimed.

"Guhah....gurk...!" Renk spluttered. "H -- Help -- me...."

Knute and Victor ran to his side.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"No....no...." Vance whispered, as if he knew.

Before their eyes, Renk's form changed. His spine bent and he was left with a hunchback...his skin became dark and withered until the bones in his hands were visible. Whatever was happening it also seemed very painful, and Renk's screams filled all their ears.

Vance had turned away from the scene, hands over his ears to block out the screams. That was all Knute could see besides Renk's change.

"My....god!" Knute breathed. He had never seen anything like this before. His mind wanted him to turn away, but his body wouldn't allow him to. What was happening to their good friend? In all his years, he had never heard of this. It filled his heart with dread.

Renk's mutation stopped. Knute was still paralyzed, unable to process what had just happened. How could one easily comprehend such a thing?

For a long time, there was silence in the room. Then Vance made what sounded like a sobbing sound, and ran for the washroom, slamming the door.

"Renk....?" Victor asked, his voice also bewildered.

Renk looked at his hands and felt his face. He walked slowly over to the mirror on the dresser, and gasped. He looked for a long time, as if trying to fathom it himself.

Eventually he turned and looked at them all, the pain, fear and humiliation in his eyes, and he began to bolt towards the window.

The other two were too shocked to react. They could only stare as Renk jumped through the window and sped off into the night...

END OF CHAPTER 4

Well, it's about time this chapter is finally off my chest. However, unfortunately, chapter 5 is even less done than chapter 4 was when I first posted this story and promised it 'soon'. But now that I don't have to concentrate on this one anymore, it'll be easier to go. I think the next chapter will be back under 15 pages again.

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Xenogears, the world and its situations are (c)2002 by Square, not me. This is a fanfic, after all.