Seeing Nothing
Summary: When her husband dies, Mary grieves upon Mother's Hill. As she does so, she finds something worth living for. (One Shot)
(Yes I know it's short)
Sub Title: The Grass Is Greener On This Side
(A/N) Yes, I do realize this is quite short but as I do want to get this up soon before I have to go to my school camp (yay) I shortened it. If you want me to lengthen it or maybe continue it, tell me in a review.
I'm standing up at the peak of Mother's Hill, looking up at the stars but seeing nothing. I can feel tears tricking out of my eyes like a broken tap but I make no attempt to wipe them away. Sam is in my hands, looking at the droplets and wondering why it's only raining on him. He looks up at the sky, mystified, because he can see no clouds.
But I can't look up at the sky and imagine these non-existent clouds because no matter how hard I try, I see nothing.
I start looking at the moon, but I turn away since it reminds me of Jack's face. Something about my husband ending up as the man in the moon doesn't amuse me at the moment. I take my glasses off my face since they are fogging up and I gaze at the now blurry stars, which have arranged themselves in the shape of Jack's face.
And before I know it I start crying even harder, so I wipe my runny nose on the sleeve of my dress and I look up again, but his face is gone.
I'm still seeing nothing.
Sam is growing worried; he is looking up at me. In all his childlike innocence he asks, "Why you crying mama?" I look at him and stroke the fine brown hair on his head. Admist my tears I whisper to him, "Hopefully you won't know until your old and gray.
He gurgles at the word old, and I wish I could laugh with him. But I can't since I can't hear anything.
I pick up Sam and he asks where we are going. I tell him we are going home, though the place doesn't feel like my home now Jack isn't there. I try to eat a late dinner but I can not seem to force any food down my throat because no matter how hard I try, I taste nothing. Feeding the rest to Sam, who finishes it up eagerly, I crawl into bed and pull the covers above my head and fall asleep.
And I dream about nothing.
When I wake up the birds are chirping, the cows are mooing and the dog is barking. Well…it would seem that way to any other person, but I see nor hear nothing.
Sam is running through the grass barefooted. The cows have been growing unhappy with out their carer, their best friend.
I'm a lot like them. Not that I'm a cow or anything (If you ask the right people) but these cows depend on Jack to keep them happy, safe and alive. As do I.
And he's not here anymore. But now that though doesn't seem so foreign anymore. I walk a well-worn path around the farm, and Sam is following me. I don't know why I'm walking this path, but then it hits me. This is the path that Jack used to walk when he was doing his rounds around the farm.
I turn around expectantly, half expecting to see Jack running up the path and into my arms. But he's not there. Though Sam is.
He's holding a beautiful flower in his small infantile hand and he hands it to me.
"Fwower for you mama."
I feel another tear fall out of my eyes. But it is not a tear of sorrow, but a tear of happiness. I look around and I see the short green grass that the cows are now munching on happily. I see the birds flying near the hot summer sun. I see the sky now a deep blue color.
Unexpectedly, I walk over to the grazing cows. After patting them I sit on the green grass that I can now see but far away from the cow droppings, which I can now smell.
Because the grass is greener on this side.
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