You and I Got Something

Notes: This chapter was surprisingly easy (compared to others) I knew how I wanted it to end before I knew how I wanted it to begin (and yes I mean that seriously) and it just…wrote. So here's what I wanted.
1) I knew I wanted Wally more scattered than usual and clearly…hurting but not in some dramatic, over the top non-Wally way. Maybe a little crazy.
2) I wanted John back to his usual sanity level and able to acknowledge that there is something fundamentally unhealthy about the fact he'd so easily snapped. But not particularly caring either.
3) I want kissing, of the non-flashback or Icky variety.
4) Mostly I wanted it to be sweetly sarcastic. Fluffy but not…out of my usual style. No dramatic declarations of love or romance novel trash.
Over all…eh. Ask me again at the bottom.

Side note: All of my titles come from songs and this chapter's from Fuel's Shimmer. These lyrics helped me whip this up. 'All She Keeps Inside/Isn't Written on the Label' and I chuckled and thought 'It's a shame Wally doesn't come with a label. It'd probably help John out."

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Chapter Twelve
Isn't Written on the Label
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The break room was now the meeting room because…well, they couldn't fit the whole extended League into the actual meeting room, since it wasn't nearly big enough.

And by extended League he meant us about every super-powered, martial arts trained, or gadgetry enhanced person on Earth. It'd been kind of funny, watching all of these egos crammed into one city sized space station and the various 'family' dynamics…

It was fun.

Wally had ended up at a table with Hawkgirl, Arrow, Canary, Tempest, and Lantern, trying to not stare at the Lantern because he knew, at the very least, Garth would notice. It was hard though because…well because it was. Actually everything seemed too hard lately…and not even in a positive way. Wally was starting to think he was losing his mind, or at least losing control, because he couldn't…manage himself anymore. His emotions went haywire and he seemed to drift between two extreme points and never be able to actually…just be.

At first he'd barely noticed. He'd always been like this is one form or another. When he was happy he was happy, full force. He was actually a touch on the manic side and he knew that and it didn't bother him. It was just part of his personality. When he'd been upset he'd been upset, though not as intensely as when he was happy, and it usually was a kind of lingering feeling that could last a while but never really get him down because he just…didn't work that way.

Not so much anymore.

Now he was…almost as depressed as he sometimes used to think he should have been.

…Or something along those lines.

Anyway. Back to the matter at hand.

They were talking about something. They being Superman and Batman. And talking really being arguing like a bunch of bratty school kids. They did that sometimes, descended to a maturity level that made even Wally want to roll his eyes.

He was sitting next to John. Not because he'd chosen that seat but because John had chosen to sit next to him and didn't that make all of the difference in the world? But only because he was really pathetic these days. He was sure that, were he even remotely normal and reacted like a normal person, he'd be terrified of John because Sinestro had been John.

Only he hadn't. Not ever.

And while his brain didn't really understand how it worked out it also understood that there was a difference. The way Sinestro had talked, the things he'd said, the way his hands felt…it had all been way off. Wally could do a better John impersonation. And that was what it was that kept him from being afraid from John or ever having seconds thoughts about not taking John up on his offer.

John had offered him more than one out. He'd allowed the thing with Sinestro to just fade away and…not exist anymore. He wasn't overly attentive like Superman insisted on being or constantly asking about his well being like J'onn had taken to doing. Even Batman was gracing him with subtle questioning looks on some of his more 'off' days and it was damn annoying.

But never John.

John treated him like he'd always treated him. Still called him Kid and smirked in that infuriating sexy way of his when he was amused and watched bad reality TV and if not for the fact he seemed a little…sharper around the edges he was still John.

Never even close to Sinestro's John shaped pervert mockery.

He'd also let things…fall into Wally's hands. Not so much of a mention of The Kiss (now with spiffy capital letters) He wasn't sure if that was good or bad but he got that John was just letting him take time to sort out things.

Funny thing was he didn't have things to sort out. Or…well, he did have things but he didn't have any…things.

…

It wasn't that he was fine. Because he wasn't fine. But he hadn't been fine before and so he was dealing with it okay. Which was kind of sick in a way, dealing with it okay. Wasn't he supposed to need therapy and closure and a thousand other things to help him deal? Wasn't human touch supposed to send him spiraling out of control? Where was the anger or the sorrow or…something? Wasn't he supposed to have nightmares and cower in fear of shadows?

…Well. He'd had nightmares. For like two weeks. It was hard to have serious nightmares when John was all 'Don't stop until you hear the snap' and stuff. He couldn't be terrified of a guy who'd been crying like a baby when the other Lanterns had come to collect him for prison.

And emotion…he was strangely numb to the whole thing. He was almost positive that meant he was headed for a dangerous breakdown any day now, but he wasn't too bothered by it. He was good at picking up pieces of himself and sticking them back together until they resembled something vaguely Wally again.

He couldn't even be traumatized correctly. Couldn't be scared of the man his attacker had made himself out to be, couldn't feel the right things, and he just…dealt with it.

It was almost scary how he just dealt with things. Took them in, was angry for a while, and then that was it. He'd destroyed a few robots in one of Clark and John's training sessions and after that he'd just been…kind of empty.

Which was bad. So help him but Wally didn't want to be empty. He'd rather be afraid or angry or hurt or anything except for…just…empty. Numb. Nothing.

And shit, this was the problem! The thing that lead him to that vague sense of being upset and depressed and…weird all over again. He had all of these thoughts and they made sense in a way but they were even more disconnected then he recalled them being and his emotions were distant and fractured and he couldn't even work up enough to be…himself, really, anymore.

Because he was dealing. He shut himself down and he dealt with it.

And it was easy to deal if he had something to focus on. And that something was John, steady dependable and slightly scary John who didn't change just because sometimes shit was bad and that made Wally want to crawl into his arms and sit still because…

Because…

Christ. He'd give anything for things to just be still.

John was just…doodling horrible stick figure deaths. He leaned over slightly to get a better look. He could almost picture John smirking as he moved his hand to the side to let Wally get a better look. He blinked slowly.

Clearly someone was still harboring residual Sinestro anger. He tapped the one of stick figure Sinestro (He knew because of the hair) being pulled apart by weird puffball looking things.

"What are those?"

"Netionians." John said before adding some more blood splatter. "Funny creatures. They'll eat anything from plants to flesh."

"So I gathered."

John winked at him and he smiled faintly as the familiar feeling of his insides clenching. Yeah. Things with John didn't change exactly. He took a kind of comfort in that.

"No, you don't. I mean anything. They'd be handy murder weapons. They eat flesh, hair, bones, fluids…anything they can get into their mouths will be completely broken down by this kind of acidic mucus and then absorbed directly into the blood stream. And they excrete gas, so no evidence."

"That's disgusting John." Canary muttered from John's other side.

"What's disgusting?" Arrow asked, tearing his eyes away from his inspection of…Canary's…assets. Because Green Arrow was just a bit of a perv.

"John's choice in murder weapons." Shayera smiled faintly. Arrow looked startled and the fact that John was smirking in that very smug and, as of late, more than a little bit scary way of his probably wasn't helping him out any.

Wally just smiled and shook his head. "You're scaring people again."

"I know. It's amusingly therapeutic." He folded the paper up then, leaning back in his seat, threw it into the nearby garbage can. He sat up again and shrugged. "And it's more interesting than this."

Wally couldn't argue with that. He leaned forward and, for a moment, considered listening. Superman and Batman had differing views on what to do about the government plotting against them and everything. And, in spite of not agreeing, neither one had hit upon Wally's situation for the problem.

Just blow the fuck out of everyone involved and be done with it. He knew that, technically, that was a bad 'Justice Lord' type thing to do but in situations like this, where even Batman had been 'hacked' and public-friendly heroes were being created in test tubes, it seemed like the safest alternative to him. But they weren't allowed to do stuff like that.

At least not in public. Superman could send people to alternate dimensions and such as long as it was under the table and that seemed to be what they were arguing about.

It wasn't that he didn't see the seriousness of the situation. He just didn't see the point in debating it at the moment. The government didn't trust them. They had every reason not to and, if Lex Luthor actually became president, that sentiment wasn't going to go away.

Why should they get stressed out about something they didn't have a chance to change? If they ever really fought it they'd be the bad guys, plain and simple.

Which is where his blowing up idea came in. They very subtly went in and took them out one by one and then…oh. Damn. He was starting to think like John. That was a problem.

Stupid crazy marine guy.

Speaking of John he rubbed the bridge of his nose then smiled at him ruefully. "I almost wish I was having another mental lapse. I don't feel bad about deciding to kill people then."

"Most people don't actively wish to lose their minds." Wally pointed out. John shrugged. "Besides, you didn't actually kill anybody."

"Only because I didn't want the bad karma."

Wally nodded as if he had any idea what John was talking about. And hey, maybe he did. "Is this bad karma the reason you need to be insane to kill people?"

"In theory."

Wally noticed that a few people were looking their way now. He didn't blame them of course, Flash and GL had been known to have mildly witty conversations from time to time.

Wally titled his head off to the side in mock thought. "Well if you want I can get Flash-napped again and let them try to probe my mind for information while running terrible experiments on me."

"Why would they do something so useless?" Shayera asked looking up from the conversation she'd been carrying with Arrow and Canary. If she'd been anyone else he might have been offended but her smile was playful. He chose to ignore her.

"What do you think?"

"You're offering to be taken, have painful but useless experiments run on you, all in the name of pissing me off enough to go on some kind of psychotic rampage? And you want to know what I think?" John's eyebrow was up again and he looked like he was wondering which of them was the insane one. The answer was obvious.

…okay, maybe not really.

"Umm…yes."

"Best plan I've heard in days. If you don't mind the disturbing implications of course. And the bad karma."

The meeting seemed to be over because some people were getting up and leaving. Wally found himself wondering if anything had actually be achieved. He doubted it. And since nothing had been achieved they would put this weird 'state of emergency' plan into action. It'd been detailed at the beginning of the meeting and was the only thing he'd actually bothered listening to.

The basic gist was that they all kept a low profile and refrained from doing anything flashy or being in front of any cameras or getting caught in any 'questionable' situations in order to keep the League in the good graces of the public eye. Batman and Superman agreed that the moment they did anything that even looked shady, underhanded, or doubtful they were in trouble.

"What disturbing implications?" He asked as he smiled faintly at Garth who he was pretty sure had been sleeping with his eyes open. He got a slightly sardonic grin in return before the Atlantian walked in Roy and Dick's general direction.

Speaking of Dick the undercurrent of Bat Clan tension had been worth this whole stupid thing. (Why couldn't they just send out memos like normal people?)

He turned back to John, who hadn't answered his question, only to find the other man had risen from his seat and was looking at him in that scary intense way of his. Wally swallowed and blinked.

"John?" The older man raised an eyebrow to show that he was listening. "Uh. Disturbing implications. Remember?"

"That I might care about you enough to actually…go on a psychotic rampage."

Actually, yes, when John put it like that it was very disturbing. And not so much the rampaging part, though that was far from a fuzzy happy image in his mind, but the whole…other…part. It must have shown on his face because John smiled wanly then made a dismissive gesture. It took a few moments before his mind fully registered that John was leaving and he was standing there gaping like an idiot.

Not that was new for him.

That pesky part of his brain that fueled his questionable self-esteem was rolling on the floor laughing at the absurdity of the thought. The more 'logical' part of his brain kicked the pesky part soundly and he frowned at the ramifications that kicking his own mental ass were sure to have later on.

Then the logical part of his brain decided to make a stand. Stop being an asshole and do something. What do you need, an engraved invitation? Why make it more complex then it has to be? Do you get off on being miserable? You can't even blame confusion anymore. Idiot.

He had a good point.

And…no. He wasn't hearing voices. That was silly.

He actually managed to beat John back to the other man's room and wound up standing and fidgeting outside of his door for a minute and a half. A very long moment minute in a half where he second-guessed himself about three times and each time concluded that he really had nothing to be worried about.

John had all but given him an engraved invitation.

"So I was thinking," John's voice came from behind him and he almost jumped out of his skin. Sneaking up on him was so wrong. "And I came to a very important conclusion."

He turned around and arched an eyebrow. "About?"

"You. I don't like to over think most things but the Guardians called with an opening off-planet."

Wally had to bite down on his lip hard to keep from spilling everything that was swirling around in his head. The pesky voice was sneering at him as if to say 'see where you've gotten yourself?'. And yeah, he saw. Shit. He'd wait too long. John was going to leave. He was an idiot.

And he hurt. Fuck. He took it back. Empty was fine. Great. He didn't mind it.

"Wally…there is something very wrong with you. All joking aside I mean. This means that there must be something even more wrong with me for even thinking about you half as much as I do." Wally just blinked at him. "I have no idea what's wrong with you, or me for that matter, and if I had an ounce of self-preservation I'd stay far away from you. Galaxies away. I'm starting to suspect that you're going to manage to drive me in

He stopped John, pulled him down some and kissed him. He had a millions things he wanted to say in his head and everyone was really stupid and none really made sense at all and that was par for the course with him and God but he wished he had something good and dramatic and earth shattering and worthy and and and…

But he didn't. His brain never supplied those sort of solutions to problems. Maybe some part of him liked watching him fudge his way through everything.

He also wished he wasn't so desperate and stupid and thought so much and a bunch of other things but he was and…ugh. Fuck.

And Christ he hated that stubble. Seriously.

He pulled back a fraction of an inch because he had to breath and John was just blinking at him, a bemused look on his face.

Then hands were on his shoulder, pushing him back slightly. "Wally-"

He started talking. He was pretty sure he'd already proven that he tended to run off at the mouth when he was nervous or stressed out and damn but he was pretty sure this fell under that category.

"I don't want you to go John and I know I'm flaky and hard to put up with and I whine and my apparent ability to see the obvious leaves a lot to be desired and yes I ran away when you kissed me which was stupid and I have no idea what in the hell I'm doing but I really don't want you to go until I can at least kind of figure it out somewhat and I understand if you don't want to be with me or are tired of me doing whatever the hell it is I'm doing and I'm totally cool with just being friends but don't-"

A hand clamped over his mouth. He blinked, wide-eyed. John glared at him mildly and he decided that now would be a fantastic time to just…shut up. He dimly heard voices behind him but didn't bother turning around. John's eyes darted to the side then back to him, apparently dismissing whoever else was in the hallway.

"You know this is what I'm talking about right?" He nodded as much as he could with a hand on his face. "Just checking. Let me finish?"

He nodded again and John let his hand drop to his shoulder again. For a moment neither moved and he could almost see the wheels turning in John's head. Finally the other man shrugged and pushed him backwards. He put out a hand on instinct, expecting to hit the door but instead met open air. A glance over his shoulder revealed John's room, neat and perfectly in order, dark save the light coming for the doorway.

"You know if you let someone finish talking you'd know I wasn't going anywhere." Oh. Well. He had a long history of jumping to the wrong conclusion anyway. This was nothing new. He realized dimly John was still pushing him backwards and that he was still moving. "You're making me crazy and annoyed with everyone who gets within five feet of me and I now have 'may snap at affront to reputation' added to the list of reasons why people avoid me thanks to you. But I'm not going. Any questions?"

"Why're you staying?"

"I like you. You like me. That's as good a reason as any. Anything else?"

"…no?"

"Finally."

This time it was John who kissed him and he kissed back and he knew the room was completely black because the door had slid shut and he probably should have been nervous or panicking and…

He wasn't. He felt fine. He felt…

Everything was quiet and still and he could hear himself breathing and…

He felt good.

The kiss ended for a moment and he licked his lips. Had the strange desire for gummy worms. "Hey John."

"Don't make me hurt you Wally." He could feel the upward curve of John's lips and laughed quietly.

"Right."

Deani: Ahh…cohesive. Right. Hated it. Still hate it. Bruce is surprising easy, it's J'onn that's hard to write for me. …no, I'm serious. He's a weird Martian… And you pretty much got Wally's mind at the end of the chapter. He wanted it to be normal. (And if pizza was involved all the better) Only normal for Wally is…something else for the rest of us. Go figure.

Cherre: Don't wish for summer, I actually tend to write less during the warm months. Treasure the winter while it lasts. And John can't stay nuts, that's not productive.

Nameless: Hmm…nope, haven't seen Joker since Wild Cards. Wonder what he's up to. He and Harley have always been my favorite villains… Mainly Harley though. I, like you, keep hoping that this time will be the time she just flips out. Your spelling looks better so…we'll go with that. Meh. I wrapped it up in my usual off-beat fashion. Hope your faith in me wasn't misplaced. No teeniegoth poetry…

Kirke: I know, gross right? I blame my father. Anyway. World Domination is overrated. What would I do afterwards, sit by the pool and drink Mai Tai's? Com'on. Getting on the heroes nerves is the fun part, everything else is just useless plot.

Hikari: LOL. Glad I could make you happy. (Not that I'm one to talk…) I'm glad John disturbed you. He was supposed to. He wasn't supposed to be fluffy and…positive. He was creepy and a new level of dark for his usual character; that's what I was aiming for anyway. I like snarky Batman. It just suits him so well. JtHM is fantastic. It's just so…amazingly not right that I can't help but love it.

Mechante: I was tempted to end it on a sour note just to jerk you around. But that would be mean and heartless and I'm not. (usually anyway…) And yeah…I believe in keeping busy as opposed to the going off the deep end and trying to kill myself. That always seemed like overkill. Heh.

Sarky: Yeah, I loved it too. But now it's over. Tear

Hmm. So we're at the end. Feels…weird. Not bad weird, just weird. I'll never write 'You and I Got Something' as a header again. Wow. Kind of sad. Well. This story became a lot more than I expected and I'd like to thank you all for hanging out with me along the way. I'll see you when I get around to posting the sequel.