August 21st

Dear Diary,

Sorry about keeping you in the dark. It's just so amazing, and just wow. At least a few mysteries were cleared up but hundreds more have taken there place. Above all is my question Why? The only way I can answer it is to again write down all that's happened to me:

I was seriously worried about talking to the Professor, and I'm afraid I lied when I said it was because of the entire disappointment thing. Actually it was more because I was scared he'd read my mind and see my doubts. I didn't really want him to think that I was ungrateful or anything.

Anyway Mr. Summers came and got me. Neither he nor I said a word as he escorted me to the Professor's office. It didn't help much, his not talking. But I guess I just took it as him preparing me for a grueling lecture. He let me into the Professor's office. A kid like reaction took over me and I looked back for a glimmer of anything. It didn't happen though. He just looked at me in his normal collected way and shut the door behind him.

" Good Morning, Hannah," came the familiar face behind me.

Nervously I turned around to look at the Professor who was sittingbehind his desk.The thing is he wasn't the only one in the room. Logan sat, dare I sayseemingly as nervous as I was,in another chair. He was turned to face me and for a second my breath caught under his careful stare.

" Good Morning, Hannah," repeated the Professor kindly shaking me back to reality.

" Sorry," I apologized out of habit, " Um Good Morning, Professor. You too, Logan."

Logan merely nodded as the Professor urged me to take a seat. Silently I made my way to the chair a few inches from Logan, though at the moment I would rather have been a few thousand miles away. Not that I had anything against him anymore though, in fact I felt myself kind of like him. NO NOT A CRUSH! Just have to make that clear, butI guess seeing his weaker side made him more...human in my eyes. Still the fact that when he woke up and wouldn't even looked at me made me more uncomfortable then I already was. It was then that I realized the Professor was speaking again.

"I'm sure you are wondering why I wished to speak to you privately," he said in a soothing manner. No ofense meant here but I hate it when he does that. It makes me feel like such a kid.

" It is because I'm afraid I breached my own set of ethics to a painful degree," he continued. Whoah, did I hear him right, I thought. I guess Logan thought the same thing because he moved slightly towards the Professor with a questioning look.

The Professor smiled and said, " Yes, I'm afraid I did breach my own code. I only hope that you will understand why I did once I explain."

And that's what he did. I don't remember exactly what he said but here is the main jiff. You recall a while ago when Rogue first acted funny and I started to feel annoyed at Logan for leaving. And you remember how that night in Rogue's room instead of being scared of Logan I was willing to fight him. Above all you remember that realization I made that Logan and I were on the same channel so to speak. Well, the truth is we were.

The Professor told us that on the night in Rogue's room he had been woken up by Logan. That is the emotions and thoughts he was projecting. The Professor described it as a jumbled mess of incoherrent thoughts and the like, to which Logan ignored the stare I gave him. The Professor continued in saying that he had tried to probe Logan's mind and had come into contact with the Logan I've known since I've been here. He said that the facet was weak and for a moment it seemed almost like it was fading into nothingness. He made the split decision and somehow used his power to transfer that part of Logan's sentience into the first person he could. That Lucky person just happened to be me!

Mind boggling isn't it. I realize that this may be confusing to youor it may not be. But I am going to translate the Professor's speech into the 'common tongue' so that maybe I can follow along. In all that the Professor said he meant that for the past month or so I've been carrying Logan in me! I mean I've been carrying his mind, his thoughts, his emotions, all of it. It means that a few times when I got upset when I didn't need to or all those times where I sychronized myself with Logan's attitude was because I "was him". I mean he and I were connected because even though the man he is was housed in my brain it still was connected to his body. I know it's confusing but it's true! I guess the best I can come up with is how Rogue is when she absorbs someone. She carries an imprint of them in her mind. Forever.

The whole thing is crazy but it explains so much. Above all it explains why when ever I touched Logan it seemed as though I lost something. The Professor had rigged his and my mind to transfer his mind back if we ever touched. He said it was something about it being his way of getting Logan back when the time came. A couple time's though he had to reassert Logan's mind back into me. That was where the piercing headache came from.

You could say the entire thing was quite a shock for both Logan and me. Logan even started smoking a cigar, despite the Professor's slight protest. I could only sit there in slight shock about it all. But that was only the tip of the iceburg. Logan was the first to pick up on the Professor's hesitance.

" Something wrong?" he said in his gruff voice.

The Professor looked absently at both of us. He seemed to be wanting to figure out how best to put it. Finally I guess he decided to just break it all out at once.

" Yes, Logan," he said, " I'm afraid that the mutant, and his creator disappeared as the others were putting you and the children on the X-Jet."

" Disappeared?" said Logan starting up, " What do you mean by disappeared?"

" You know what I mean, Logan," said the Professor calmly. Logna looked angrily at him but stayed seated.

I for one was confused as hell, " WHAT DO YOU MEAN, PROFESSOR?" I demanded a little louder than I should have.

" How can they be gone? I mean they were what a yard away from us? How could they have gotten away?"

The Professor looked at me calmly and sighed. With some amusement he said, " I would have expected this reaction from Logan. But you are right, nonetheless. I'm afraid I was to focused on making sure both your's and Logan's minds weren't to undamaged by the mutant's effects that I failed to keep my attention on everything at once."

" But couldn't Dr..." I started to protest.

" Jean was to preocuppied, kid," replied Logan softly, " It doesn't matter anyway."

" Doesn't matter!" I replied in amazement, " How can you SAY that! It's because of that monster that..." and I cut off. Logan's face had turned like steel to me, and I knew it was best not to argue.

" Logan's right," said the Professor, " And from past experiences we can assume that he will come again."

" And this time I'll be ready," said Logan unsheathing one claw.

" Indeed," replied the Professor and he looked directly at me.

" What?" I said suspicious.

And that's when he hit me with the news.

" Hannah," said the Professor, " I think that it is time you took a rightful place as an X-men."

" WHAT!" I cried, unsure if I heard him right.

" Yes, you showed impressive resolve and a maturity that shows you are ready for the challenges," said the Professor, " But above all you showed a compassion for your fellow human beings. A compassion that even in all my studies of the mind I've almost never seen."

Okay, sure it was flaterry, but hey, don't be fooled by flatterers.

" You mean, " I said a little shocked, " That you want me to be a full fledged X-men?"

The Professor smiled slightly, " Not quite," he replied, " You need to finish your schooling first, but now you may be allowed to accompany us on some missions, depending on the level of danger."

" And what about the other's?" I said negotiably.

The Professor again smiled recongnizing my tone, " I have talked to all of them and they have all agreed that they would like to join the team."

I stared at him. Without thinking I just let the suprise kick in as I slid into the chair. I could be an X-men. My time to decide had come, but I wasn't sure. I still am not. It would be great and all, but that doubt still etches in the back of my mind.

Softly I said, " Professor, could you give me time to think about it."

" Yes," he replied kindly nodding, " Take what time you need."

" Thank you," I replied, " Am I free to go?"

" Yes," he said. I left the room as fast as I could, making a slight nod of good-bye to Logan. I had a lot of thinking to do.

And that's what I've been doing since. I'm still not sure.I'm not sure if I should disregard my newly discovered thoughts or take the Professor's offer and go with it all. I just don't know and only time can give me the answer.