Semptember 12th

Dear Diary,

Not much has been happening for me lately. Life still goes on and all. Though lately I've been trying to avoid Logan as much as possible, Rogue too. It's nothing I've got against them it's just that this is all new to me. Now that Logan's out of my head I'm, I guess you could say lost. I mean I had his " Being" in my mind for a few months and, well, his way of life doesn't seem that bad.

Okay, maybe the drinking, and cigars, and who knows what else is. But still having that kind of instict to rely on. That ability to decide which course is the best and then if you choose wrong to release yourself and fight back to the top. It's weird not having it anymore. Of course, all I just said was weird, but stay with me. Anyway I don't know why but I just can't look at the man because... I can't really explain it.

Semptember 13th

Dear Diary,

Just when you thought the world couldn't throw out anymore suprises, it happens again. It takes a couple of words and suddenly you see a person for who they really are. In case you havn't guessed I'm talking about Logan.

Today just started out like any normal day. I mean you go to class, try not to annoy Mr. Summers or get your butt kicked by Logan, and then have a danger room session with Dr. Mcoy or Grey. Banner day, whoopie. Well, I don't know what it was but I just started off in a bad mood. Maybe it was the bad session yesterday, or the incident with Pyro and Gambit, or even that serious case of indigestion Collossus had (I told him not to eat that pizza), or whatever, but I just was not having a good day. Thankfully though Dr. Grey picked up on it and let me have the night off. I think a little heroism may also have played a factor but I doubt it.

Anyway, like I was saying I had a bad day and was given a chance to cool out. Now you may think my best place is with the plants but your wrong. Not that I have anything against vegetation mind you but I NEED TECHNOLOGY and some books, and maybe some colas. So yeah, best place for me... the rec room. The funny thing is I didn't head there. No, for some reason I headed towards Logan's class, go figure.

As I got closer my mind kept screaming, food, food, books, computers, yadayadayada. But instead of listening my body went the other direction. Without pausing I walked closer and closer to the gym, Logan's 'private' domain. As I got closer I felt nervous but it didn't stop me from moving. Suddenly I heard what seemed to be a cross between muffled crying and screams of anger. All apprehension dashed away as I ran towards the gym.

The sight I came to was startling. Really, though, it shouldn't have been since I've seen it countless times. Mr. Logan was beating the, um, tar out of one of the multiple bags. How many of those things does the Professor need to buy? Not important, sorry. So yeah, well, seeing as I didn't need my claws I started to retract them back in. BIG MISTAKE! I think these thing enjoy acting like little brothers, not that I have any mind you. But they just won't do what you tell them and they enjoy causing misery. AHHHH! Well, they went flying and came real close to wacking Logan in the face. He just twisted to face me seconds before they would have hit him.

Looking at me intensly he nodded in my direction. I know I shouldn't have but I did. I just melted. NO, not the mushy crush melted the, oh shit, how did I get myself into this situation, back firmly against the wall and gibber like an idiot melted. In other words my " Um, UH, hi, Logan," attitude. Real impressive.

" Hey, Vixen," he said back. Did I forget to mention he gave me the nickname Vixen. Don't ask me why.

" I, um, see the Professor's gonna need to buy some new equipment," I said pointing to the wrecked bag.

Logan nodded. Then he retractred his claws. Don't ask me why but I find it really gross. I mean my claws aren't even claws in me. There like a fast building chemical that solidifies and lookes like an overgrown cactus leaf. But I'm getting off subject.

"There something you want, kid?" he asked.

"Oh, no," I replied nervous, " I just heard something in here. Decided to come and investigate."

" You don't need to play the hero all the time, kid," came back his reply. OUCH! There was a shot down, or maybe not.

" Who said I was trying to be a hero?" I complained defensively, " I just came in here because I heard someone cry out."

Logan suddenly looked as nervous as I felt. He turned around and seemed to refuse to face me. Immediatly I felt kind of bad for him.

Finally he said, " That was me."

I admit it I gapped at him. Then surpising of all (I think this is my hanging out with Rouge to much) I asked, " Anything you want to talk about?"

Logan turned to look at me. For a moment something past over his eyes that I didn't recognize.

" No," he said, " Your to young to understand."

"But Rouge is?" I asked rather defiantly.

Logan stared harshly at me. I could see the wheels turn as if he were deciding if it was better to answer or hack me up into little pieces and scatter me along the yard. Well, you know what? Bring it on. I've been to as good as hell and back and I wasn't in the mood to be terrorized.

" She didn't have a choice," he finally replied.

Whoah, where did that come from? And it's a fly ball into right center.

" It's not like I have a choice either, " I said angrily.

Logan looked at me. For a second he seemed ready to tell me off but thought better for it. Nodding his head he looked at me in I guess could be described as pity.

" I'm sorry about what you had to carry, kid," he said, " I'm not exactly the best influence for someone like you."

" Oh, now I wouldn't say that," I replied seeing how sincere he was. Hey, come on. It's not like I don't have a heart.

" You didn't need it, kid," he protested and I realized that he had been wanting to say this for a long time, " You didn't need me in your mind."

" I'm sure I could've had worse."

" No," he said then added, " I'm not sure there is much else worse."

Then before I could think about it I blurted, " What are you talking about! Your the Wolverine! I mean sure your moody, you do have a bit of a bad temper, and you do tend to send your students of rubbing bruises, but your one of the best we got. And the whole thing about you in my mind. Yeesh, I consider it an honor, as well as a life savor."

Logan raised an eyebrow at that, " What kind of life savor could I be to you kid? I nearly got you killed?"

" True," I said then added, " But I wasn't in any real danger. I mean just, it was like wow! I mean when I had you in my mind and I was confronted I had this confidence. This aurora that I knew I could win, no matter what."

" So your trying to tell me I taught you how to pick fights?"

" Not at all, Mr. Logan. Not at all. I guess I'm trying to say is that you protected me. I mean when I was in conflict you were close enough are minds practically touched and it felt as if you were fighting, not me. And when Rouge attacked me I could of sworn I heard you telling me what to do."

" I doubt it, kid," he said sullenly.

" I'm not lying, Mr. Logan. I honestly felt safer when you were there, even when you were a littly crazy, then I've felt in a long time. Besides," I said blushing, " Your one of the few people that's lived to see me cry."

Logan looked up at me. Silently we stared at each other a few minutes.

Suddenly he said, " Thanks, kid."

Then with a fluid like motion he pushed me out of the gym and locked the door.

" Sure," I muttered, " No problem."

Staring at the door a few seconds more I knew he wasn't going to open it. Quietly I headed back to my room to think things over.