Listen to your heart

Chapter one: gloves dismissed

'What if I was willing to take an 'F' right now? I forgot to mention to you that I'm dropping out of med-school! Yeah, who wants to be a doctor anyway?' I hear him shout after me. This brings a smile to my face. It's nice to have a guy wanting you, how wrong or self-centered that may sound. But hey, I'm a girl and sometimes we need to be reminded of the fact that we're not that old and still good for dating. I walk faster, trying to get rid of Jake before I do something I might regret, because, as I told him, he's my med student. I'm his supervisor. I just would be wrong. But apparently I'm not walking fast enough, because Jake catches up with me.

'Would you just slow down already?' he asks me, with a hint of laughter in his voice. Sadly for him, I have no intentions of stopping.

'Nope, I have to get home, eat something and go to bed. I have to be back here in 10 hours and I'm exhausted'

'So, have dinner with me. It doesn't have to be long. We'll go to Chucky-Cheese or something. Eating together must be better then eating alone and I'll have you home by 10 so you can sleep. Come on Abby...' he pleads with me. I don't know if I find it amusing or not. At first I thought it was sweet, but now it feels like I have my own personal stalker.

'Look Jake,' I say, standing still for a moment, looking at him while I say this, so I can get better through to him, 'I explained it to you. You're my med student. It would be wrong and inappropriate'

'Even if we both want it? I said there may be something going on between us and you agreed with me. So what if I'm a student!'

'It's not that you're A student Jake, it's that you're MY student' I try again.

'Okay, so tomorrow I'll switch interns, so that you're no longer my supervisor. Better?'

'No Jake, it'll still feel wrong'

'How do you know? You don't know that until you've tried it. Until we've tried it. I'm not asking you to marry me Abby. You don't have to tell anybody. We can just keep it a secret. But we won't know till we've tried it. I mean, does this feel wrong?' he says, as he grabs my gloved hand in his gloved hand.

'Jake, we can't do that here! Not in front of the hospital. What if someone sees us?' I point at the crowd around Carter listening to his press-conference.

'Yeah, you're right, come on' he says, as he grabs my arms gently and pulls me into an alley.

I look at him suspicious. 'Jake, what is this?'

'Nothing, I'm just trying to convince you to go out with me' he says this as if it is the most normal thing to say. I'm always very careful with what I say and who I expose myself to, but he has no trouble in letting me know he likes me. I kind of like that about him, that openness, but it also scares me. I don't know if I can be with someone who's different from me on so many levels. He's open, he always kind and he's a med student. That last thought just keeps coming back to me. I'm torn between the feelings I think I have for this guy I barely know, and between the voice in my head that keeps telling me this is wrong. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when he speaks again. 'So, what do you say? Still no?'

'Uhmm, yeah. I'm sorry Jake, really. But I just can't do it. This isn't me. It feels wrong' I've said that so many times in one conversation tonight it is starting to sound stupid. I then feel him take my right arm and pulling my glove off. I immediately feel the cold of the Chicago winter on my hand as my fingers begin to freeze. I then see him take off his left glove and throw both of the gloves on the ground. He then takes my cold, ungloved hand in his ungloved hand and looks me in the eyes.

'Does this feel wrong Abby?' he says. I don't know what to say. I'm kind of overwhelmed by his actions and I can't speak. But it doesn't feel wrong, it actually feels nice, and I don't think it's just because his hand radiates some warmth into my cold hand. I look at him. 'Does this feel wrong to you?' he asks again. All I can do is shake my head. He then puts his right hand on my hip, while looking at me all the time.

'And this Abby, does this feel wrong?' he asks in a very soft voice, almost whispering. Again all I can do is shake my head. I don't really know what's going on here. I think I'm paralyzed, because no matter what I do, I can't move my arms or legs and I can't speak. Words just won't come out of my mouth. Our gazes are still locked. I see a little sparkle in his eyes and then I suddenly see him leaning closer. Very, very slowly, like it's happening in slow-motion. I really don't know if I want this. Then he speaks. 'Tell me if you want me to stop Abby' he says. I swallow hard as I see him come closer and closer. 'Abby, do you want me to stop?' he asks? I try speaking this time and I manage to get a very soft 'No' out of my mouth. I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want. I don't want him to stop. He leans in closer and closer and it's like suddenly I can move again. I feel myself leaning into him and our lips meet. It's a very soft kiss, mouths closed, just lips lightly touching, but it feels great. I feel his arm sneak around my back and pulling me to him. I let his hand go and put my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. I feel like a school kid, secretly making out where no one can see you. Eventually we pull away from each other. You have to breathe sometime right? I look at him and he is smiling triumphantly at me.

'What?' I ask, although I think I know the answer.

'Now, that didn't feel wrong, did it?' he asks me, although he also knows my answer.

'No, it didn't' I say. 'But there's something I don't like about all this'

He looks disappointed, but tries to hide it quickly. 'And what would that be?'

'My hand is freezing' I say, as I point to the gloves on the ground and then show him my red, frozen hand. And then we both laugh.

A/N: Like it? Hate it? Should I continue? Let me know!