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DISCLAIMER: I don't own anybody...

I'm back... although most of you would rather I wasn't...

Thanks again to my reviewers.

I am indeed very sad at the moment... My pencil case has gone missing with all my manga pens in there... $150 worth of 'em, and my parents officially HATE me... sob

Even my dogs are ignoring me...

I've been SWAMPED with assignments and homework, my arm STILL hurts, and keeps swelling up, and I had to cut my nails REALLY short to resist carving up my hand and making myself bleed...

I'm also an insomniac, and have been for the past 4 months...

I've hit a big fat writers block in my creative writing assignment for English... which is due next week which I've barely done half of!!

My laptop is stupid, and hardly plays music anymore.

Sometimes I think my reviewers are my only friends... collapses completely into a nervous breakdown

moment later

clears throat right... well... aah... here's the next chapter. choked sob

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Holly passed Trouble an LEP suit from the backpack, and made sure for the fifth time (at Trouble's orders...) that the door was locked.

"Face the wall," Trouble instructed.

Holly rolled her eyes and turned around, her hooked nose not even an inch from the wall.

"One thing... are you SURE-?"

"THE DOOR IS LOCKED!" Holly shrieked, throwing her hands in the air.

Trouble checked to see if his eardrums had popped.

"Frond, you're loud," he muttered, covering his ears.

Holly muttered something rude under her breath.

"Same to you," Trouble said to her. "Ok. No turning around until I say so, promise?"

"Promise. Very modest, Captain Kelp."

"Oh shut up."

After a moment, Holly said, "Just in case you can't see, I'm poking out my tongue at you."

"Idiot."

After that, there was a yelp.

"Troubl-"

"Stay turned," he said, in a voice much higher than his own.

"What happened? Are you-"

"Zipper," he squeaked.

Holly burst into impending fits of laughter, eventually falling over, her fists thumping the ground. Her tiny frame shook with laughter, the sound making Butler knock cautiously on

the door. Trouble opened it, fully dressed in an LEP uniform. He was bright red, and Holly was on the floor, cheeks flushed, tears of laughter rolling down her face.

"What happened?" Butler asked.

"Zipper," Trouble mumbled, looking at his feet.

Juliet burst out laughing, beginning to hiccup, leaning on a wall for support.

Butler put an understanding hand on the flushing elf's shoulder.

"It happens to all of us," Butler said sympathetically.

Holly, who had got to her feet, said, "Not to us girls, it doesn't!" she began to laugh again, and fell over, rolling across the floor.

Trouble glared at Holly dangerously, sparks flying from his eyes. He slowly and firmly drew one finger across his throat.

"You, Holly, are so dead," he said through gritted teeth.

Holly got to her feet. "With respect, Captain Kelp, I'd like to see you catch me," she said, grinning. "You should have heard you!" she put on a high voice. "Aghh! The zipper! Aghh!!"

Trouble clenched his fists.

"Ohh, come on, Kelp. You know I'm kidding... its just funny..." Holly was still giggling slightly, trying to seem as if she wasn't.

"Uh... Captain?"

"Uh-huh?" they both looked up toward the blonde human.

"I mean... uh... Captain Short," Juliet said. "Shouldn't you get back in contact with... uh... what's-his-name? The commander?"

"Commander Root. Yeah... I had better tell him who you are, and that you're ok," Holly nodded. "Sit down, Trouble."

Holly helped him to the sofa, and turned to Juliet and Butler, hardly noticing that Artemis wasn't there.

"Ok... where's my helmet? The Fowl Manor gets me confused," Holly asked.

"I think I know. Come with me..." Juliet began to lead Holly out.

"You ok, Kelp?" she asked, turning at the door.

He nodded, unable to speak as he eyed Butler. He looked terrified.

"One minute," Holly muttered to Juliet, and sprinted over to where Butler was standing. She tugged on his jacket sleeve. Surprised, he looked down on the red-headed fairy.

"Yes, Captain Short?" he asked politely.

Holly stood on her absolute tiptoes, apparently trying to reach his ear. Trying not to snigger at her futile attempts, he crouched next to Holly, and she whispered into his ear for a moment.

When she

stopped whispering, Butler looked confused. He thought for a moment, and whispered something back, and Holly replied. Butler shrugged and nodded. Holly smiled, and Butler

stood. Holly went back to Juliet, and they left the room. As soon as they were out of earshot, Juliet turned to Holly and said,

"He is so madly in love with you!"

"What!?!?" Holly's jaw dropped open.

"Trouble or whatever his name is."

"As if!" Holly exclaimed. "What is WITH you?"

"The way he talked to you... he so likes you!"

"No way, Juliet."

"Oh come on! And don't pretend that you don't like him!"

"You've met the idiot! How could ANYBODY like him?"

Juliet looked positively infatuated. "It's like Romeo and Juliet," she said happily.

"And we all know how THAT ended up..." Holly muttered. "Besides... we don't love each other!"

Juliet turned to Holly. "Look me in the eye," she said firmly. "And tell me that you don't love him."

"Do you know what he calls me?"

"What?" Juliet asked, waiting for something like, 'sweetie', or 'darling'.

"He calls me kiddo! He's like some annoying, pain in the ass brother."

Juliet sniffed moodily and led Holly to the hallway. Holly picked up her helmet, and put it on her head, fiddling with a few communication knobs.

"Foaly? Foaly, you there? FOALY!"

"Holly? Is that you? What the hell happened? Are you o-?"

"I'm fine, it wasn't a trap, who else could it be, and I cut the connection. Anything else, pony boy?" Holly asked smugly.

"It wasn't a trap? Then who was the officer?" Foaly asked desperately.

"Trouble Kelp. Don't worry, he's fine. He doesn't remember anything," Holly said.

"Holly? Are you still there?"

"I never left!" Holly said, slightly curious.

"Holly... Holly, you're breaking up... I can't hear you!"

"Foaly?" Holly asked loudly.

"D'ARVIT! Holly? Can you hear me? The communication is breaking up!!" Foaly was yelling.

"Hardly... there's a lot of static, and interference... can you still hear me?"

"Holly? Holly!"

"What? I can't hear you! Trouble Kelp is ok! He's gonna complete the ritual, then we'll go home!! Ok? Foaly... you there?"

There was nothing but static.

"D'Arvit," Holly muttered, taking off the helmet.

"What happened?" Juliet asked curiously.

"I lost him. The communications went awry," Holly explained. "Ok. Better go tell Kelp the good news."

They went back to the living room, where Trouble wasn't looking AS uncomfortable, and Butler hardly seemed to batter an eyelid, still standing in the corner.

"Where's the kid?" asked Holly.

"The kid?" Juliet questioned.

"Yeah. As in Artemis kid."

"Oh. THAT kid. He'll be back."

"Mhm..." Holly sat beside Trouble, and faced him.

"My helmet is stuffed," she said.

"What are they saying?" whispered Juliet to her elder brother. Butler shrugged.

Holly and Trouble heard, turned to them and smirked.

"You don't speak gnomish?" Holly asked in gnomish, grinning all over her face.

"Butler...?" Juliet whimpered. "What's she saying?!?!"

Butler put a hand on his sister's shoulder. "I don't speak gnomish, Juliet."

"Gnomish?" she cried enthusiastically. "Teach me, teach me!"

Holly raised an eyebrow at Trouble, and they both began to laugh.

"Please?" Juliet gave them both massive puppy-dog eyes. "Come on! When I was a kid, I ALWAYS wanted to speak the language of the fairies!"

"When you were a kid?" Holly asked, eyebrows hidden under her auburn hair. "You still ARE a kid."

"I'm eighteen!" Juliet protested.

Holly sniggered.

"Come on! You can't be much older!"

Holly fell off the sofa laughing. "Ok," she said through bouts of uncontrollable giggles. "You guess my age."

Juliet held up her hands. "I'm not playing that game."

Meanwhile, Artemis had re-entered the room, and watched the conversation with interest, one eyebrow raised.

"Come on. Really, I don't mind, right, Kelp?" Holly said, clambering up onto the sofa and nudging him.

He nodded, laughing. "She doesn't mind, mud girl."

Juliet shrugged. "Ok... random number, here... uh... twenty?"

Holly cracked up laughing, so did Trouble and even Artemis sniggered.

"Ok... um... twenty two?"

Holly couldn't speak for laughter, and Trouble had fallen sideways, unfortunately landing awkwardly on his broken ribs.

Juliet was getting frustrated. "Ok, then, Captain Short," she began, her brow furrowed. "How old are you?"

Holly sat up straighter. "Try eighty three, Juliet," she said casually.

For several moments, Juliet stood there, mouth hanging open.

"She looks like some sort of bogglefish," Trouble observed, whispering to Holly, who rolled her eyes and hit him in the stomach. He doubled over and swore.

She blinked, and stuttered. "Um... well... you... you er... you look good for your age."

Holly laughed, and fell onto the armrest of the sofa, her fist thumping the arm.

"You recovered well," she said. "I'll credit you with that..."

"Well then," Juliet frowned. "How old is HE?" she jerked her thumb at Trouble, who was easing himself back into a sitting position and sending Holly a withering glare.

He shrugged, kicking Holly. "Only ninety seven."

"ONLY ninety seven? ONLY NINETY SEVEN?!?!?!?" Juliet threw her hands into the air and walked out of the room.

"I think she strained something," Holly said, and tilted her head to the side like a cat.

"Uh... Holly?" Trouble said. "Are you feeling ok?"

"What?" she asked.

"When I kicked you, you didn't kick me back, or hit me, or swear at me, or ANYTHING! Are you ok?"

"Uh-huh," Holly said vaguely, turning to Artemis.

In the split second that she turned, Trouble had seen the look in her eyes. His eyes widened.

"No!" he said. "Not one of the 'I'll get you when you least expect it' s! NO!!!"

Holly smiled a savage little smile in his direction and didn't reply.

He moaned and flopped his head, after a second realizing that he was vulnerable in that position. He sat up and growled something rude in gnomish.

"THAT was not civil," Holly said, going to hit him. He ducked, and she smiled that scary smile again.

"Two for flinching!" she hit him twice, an evil smile showing across her face. "Oh... Fowl?" she said, turning.

"Yes, Captain Short?" Artemis asked, deciding wisely to ignore the war going on between Captains Kelp and Short.

"My helmet is gone... er... odd. Basically it isn't working, and I don't have enough brain power left to think. Any ideas?" Holly asked as Trouble elbowed her. Hard.

"I called you from my phone after I hacked into the phone systems. Not Foaly's strong point," he began matter-of-factly. "And I thought that just in case, I might need it again, so I can

hack in again in less than two minutes."

Holly and Trouble's mouths were hanging open.

"You hacked into Foaly's system?" she said disbelievingly, feeling faint. "YOU hacked into FOALY'S system?" she repeated numbly.

"Only the phone. I decided his computer would be more heavily guarded," Artemis said casually.

"He hacked into Foaly's system," she said, her brain having not completely registered that fact. "Foaly's system."

She slowly shook her head, as though the mere thought was impossible. Her eyes glazed over, and she was still shaking her head.

"Is... she ok?" Butler asked Trouble, only to find that he, too, was shaking his head in disbelief. "Artemis?"

"Yes, Butler?"

"They both... appear to be having some sort of... fit," he said nervously. Give him almost anything, he could deal with it. But these fairies... they were so... odd.

After a moment, Holly's eyes came back into focus, and she poked Trouble until his did too.

"You seriously hacked into Foaly's system?" she asked.

"The phone lines," he corrected.

Holly's head fell into her hands, her longish auburn hair completely covering her face.

"Uh... Hol-?" Artemis began.

"Shh!" Trouble put his finger to his lips. "She's thinking of something."

She sat up after a moment and sighed. "That's ok. Root's phone line is," she frowned, thinking hard. "Number 0240957362, which isn't Foaly's responsibility. I KNEW nobody could get past

Foaly's systems..."

Artemis shrugged. "I just hacked into it so I could get to Commander Root."

Meanwhile, Trouble was staring at Holly. "You remembered Beetroot's phone line number? I don't even know mine! And mine's only 5 digits!"

"Yours is 07264, you idiot," she said, elbowing him.

Juliet, who had returned from her brain-freeze crossed over with a mild temper tantrum, said, "How come the fairy phone numbers have a different amount of digits?"

"Phone LINE numbers, Juliet. It's a different thing. I don't know if you do the same here, but we number different phone lines, so if they stuff up, then you say 'Number 05396 has broken

down', so they can fix it from a computer instead of actually having to be there," she smirked. "Foaly only invented the system to avoid going upstairs, which, having a horse body, would be

difficult."

"Do you want to call Commander Root, then?" Artemis asked.

"I guess so," she said, pointing to a phone.

"No, Holly," Artemis said. "I only hacked with my phone, in case my parents accidentally called a fairy. That wouldn't go down too well, I imagine."

Holly nodded. "Good thinking. Where's your phone?"

"In my bedroom, which is through here," he opened the door and let Holly through. Holly paused and turned to her colleague.

"I'll be back soon. Any message for Beetroot or Foaly?" she asked.

"Tell Foaly I'll kill him, and," Trouble said, then thought. "Tell Root to kill Grub for me."

Holly grinned and left the room.

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There you go... bit of a long 'un there...

I'm still sad, but, on the up, I found my pencil case... my arm doesn't hurt AS much, and... yeah, well... everything else still sux majorly...

I handed in my English assignment, but I haven't got it back. My nails have now grown again, and I've taken to carving up my hand again... makes face

And... even when my nails WEREN'T long, I had found a sewing needle, which was NOT good...

Ok... thanks again to you people who reviewed. Don't have the internet connection now, and (forgive me) I appear to have forgotten all of your names. Also to Duck and Bug, who gave me inspiration (of a sort) with your raving idiocy...

Please review!! Please!! 0o?? (very strange emoti-con...)

Buhbye for now... next chapter up soon... well, soonish. I'm no miracle worker.

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