Alex sighed rather dismally, giving the mug another rather suspicious sniff. Saria had said it was herbal tea, but it smelled like someone's unwashed foot after a day of running through a swamp.

"Alright, let me get this straight," She began, waving her free hand emphatically.

"Something's gone wrong, and you've all started ..aging?" She paused. No, aging wasn't right, they aged, they just didn't..

"..Erm. Maturing," She corrected, apologetically.

Saria nodded rather unhappily.

"Yes. D'you have any idea what it's like, trying to get a horomonal bunch of clueless kids from scurrying off into the bushes together, when there's a ridiculous surply of bushes and one of them is after you!"

There was a brief, rather awkward silence, and then realization dawned upon Alex.

"..You mean Mi-" Alex said, her expression one of stunned horror.

"SHH!" Saria lunged at her, grabbing her shoulders.

"He'll hear you! I swear he can tell if you say his name, no matter where you are..." She wailed quietly, her expression one of torment.

Alex winced sympathetically as she was obviously expected to do. And then she realized something, and wondered why it hadn't hit her before.

"Um," Alex said, slowly. "Can I ask you where Link is...?"

The effect was unpredictable, to say the least. Saria's eyes had widened, and she had begun shaking her by the shoulders, wild-eyed.

"TELL ME WHERE HE IS, YOU-!"

A head popped around the doorframe. A pair of eyes blinked. Mido shuffled into view, cautious. He wasn't that stupid.

"Um, Saria...?"

The Kokiri girl's brilliant green eyes twitched ever so slightly as she very, very slowly let go of Alex and stepped away. Slowly. Carefully.

"Yes, Mido?"

It wasn't the nearly glacial tone to her voice, or the way her hands curled into a murderous half-fist. It was the way her eyes had gone very cold quite suddenly that terrified him. They had gone from the fiery look that meant she was either angry or trying to get people to do something they didn't want to do, flickering off into a cold, quiet fury.

He decided that maybe he shouldn't tell her that Glen was trying trying to stick a rock up his nose because he'd made a bet that if he could, he'd get 20 rupees from assorted boys.

"Nevermind, wrong house!" He squeaked desperately, and then he ran.

He ran as fast as his growing, gangly legs could carry him.


Saria inhaled very deeply and slowly.

"Alright," She said in an even, calm voice as Alex brushed herself off, glancing warily at the Kokiri every few seconds from the corners of her eyes.

"You are going to tell me everything you know about Link and how you know it or I'm going to make you." She sat down, smiling pleasently.

The girl crouching on the floor grimaced. Why did people have to be so difficult?

"I've heard about him from the stories. You know..." She lied in a rather pleading tone, reminding herself that maybe in some other twisted dimension this was true. Which it most likely wasn't.

Miraculously, the sage deflated, slumping forward in the wooden chair.

"I can't take this anymore, it's all falling to bits," Saria whimpered, shoulders trembling.

"H-he left and said he'd be back in a couple days and he wasn't and people started going all pimply and I swear he's not coming back a-a-and-"

Alex watched, appalled, as the girl burst into hiccuppy sobs. That was the problem with girls, she thought, staring on in horror. They went all teary at the slightest problem. Boys wouldn't do that because if they went to bits in front of anyone the effect on their ego would be like dropping a gorilla on it.

She wouldn't do it because it was silly.

"..and Mido keeps bothering me and everyone's being so stupid and.." The green-haired girl stopped herself, breathing deliberately slowly.

"Well, um, I could try to help you out..." Alex ventured carefully, trying to look eager and helpful. Saria gawked.

"You-"

The girl's expression curled into an odd sort of grin. Well, it was convenient enough.

"..Alright." She said it in the equally slow, practiced sort of way that you're supposed to talk about important things in. Her eyes had lit up.

"He said something about horses. The others thought he was just talking about his throat or something but I-" She paused. Maybe she shouldn't give away too much just yet.

"Anyway, he left the forest." Saria tried very hard to look worried and unhappy. It wasn't difficult, since most of it was genuine - she was stressed out, trying to deal with the rest of the Kokiri. And she really did miss him...

Alex thought she looked rather constipated. There was the same painful grimace.

"I'll get on it, then," She said kindly, patting the younger - older - whatever she was - girl on the shoulder comfortingly and walking out.

Saria grinned broadly for a moment.

"..Saria?" Pleaded a whiny, eager to please sort of voice, as Mido stuck his head around the corner. "Glen's gotten a rock stuck up his nose. Again." He added helpfully.

Saria groaned, cradling her head in the hands.


Alex stared down at the tiny hole. She was supposed to get through that. She had remembered it being a lot larger and wider and less cobwebby.

It didn't help that Link was lanky at best.

Positively skinny, she thought, willing the hole to became larger. It failed to do so.

She sighed in defeat, getting to her knees. She eyed the tunnel uneasily, and then dropped to her belly, shimmying along with her eyes shut very firmly. After a decidedly long minute, she shimmied into a wall, with a muffled curse.

She sat up, rubbing her forehead in that made - although she was unaware of it - her hair stick up, giving it the look of someone who's been standing in gale winds, or possibly someone who's just gotten out of bed.

The boulder was still going steadily in circles, looking as menacing as a large hunk of granite can. Alex noted glumly that the path it took had worn down considerably, so that there was now a drop into a small pit. Lovely.


Alex stumbled, dizzy and somewhat bruised, into the alcove housing the Kokiri Sword. Or maybe it was a niche. She didn't particularly care at the moment, as she'd just run in desperate circles for far too long.

Kneeling and taking a moment to admire the stunning way the world twirled, she pried open the treasure chest.

And stared at the glorified dagger of a sword that laid there in a bed of dust, sparkling cleanly. She frowned.

"That's not right.." She murmured under her breath, lifting the lightweight sword and swinging it experimentally. It fit her hand quite nicely, which only added to her suspicions.

The sword shouldn't be there. Link should have taken it with him. So why was it there?

She shrugged it off for the moment, dashing back into the circle. She still needed a shield.


"I told you, I want a shield. Shield. Vaguely circular? Hard? Deflects things?"

Alex was all but ready to kill the new clerk. It was now a dweeby looking boy, who seemed apalled that she would actually want to buy something.

He made a rather stupid mistake then.

"But you're a girl!"

Her eye twitched violently, and Alex snapped. She lunged forward, snatching the kokiri by the collar and leaning terrifyingly close to the boy, snarling like a wolverine in heat.

"Oh yes. I'm a girl," She said in a sweet, innocent tone. "A girl who is going to rip your liver out your anus if you don't sell me a bloody shield." She smiled.

He made a sort of strangled whimpering noise, pointing shakily to his right. She beamed, leaning a little further in and grabbing the wooden shield, releasing him.

"Glad you could cooporate!" She beamed, turning and all but skipping out of the store.

The clerk fainted.


Author's Note, May 1, 06

Rewrote some of this and fixed some typos.