Alex tilted her head back to look up at the buildings of the famous but pretty lousy Hyrule Castle Town. Erek was currenty snoozing in her hair, despite previous whining.
"..How...um...shrimpy. In a majestic sort of way. ...Well, not really." She muttered, staring at a snarling, grubby white dog that was attacking some guy in a guard's uniform. He was kind of short. And familiar. And...
Alex stared onward as Dark Link screamed desperately and attempted to detach Precious Widdle Richard from his leg. She groaned quietly.
"Please, somebody tell me he's not going to show up everywhere. Please. Please?" She tilted her head skyward again, whimpering pathetically.
Din blinked and swatted absently at the clouds that had drifted innocently in on Hyrule Castle Town to obscure her view, causing a freak rainstorm at the Gerudo Fortress later that afternoon.
"Betcha a turn at making the popcorn she won't help him."
Farore snorted, waving her bowl of divine munchies in scorn.
"You are so totally on."
Nayru looked up at them, back from their heavenly kitchen with more divine sodas, and sighed.
"You guys are hopeless, I swear."
Alex grimaced for a moment, and then whistled shrilly. For about a minute straight. Both dog and boy yelped, but one of them ran off whimpering and the other clapped his hands over his ears.
She stared down at Richard's Mummy's Little Sweetums, and shook her head.
"..Sorry, I don't have a witty comment. Fresh out."
She thought for a moment, and then almost absently undid her ponytail, shaking her hair and dislodging Erek.
"Hummina- hummina- WHAUUUGH!"
"C'mon. We're getting lunch.."
"But I'm tiiired." The faerie whined at her, buzzing around her head.
"Oh, go shove it."
Knil wasn't having a good day, any way you phrased it. He currently had a dog bite on his ankle, a pocketful of lint, and three rupees.
The girl at the reception desk glared at him.
"Look, kid. I don't care what they use as money wherever the hell you come from, but..." She stared haughtily downwards at the counter.
"...A giant fuzzball, three rupees, a lint-coated candy that's probably older than you are, and ..."
She blinked, and snatched up the tiny scrap of paper.
"What in the name of Farore's toenail fungus is this thing supposed to be?" She snapped, holding it up for further inspection. Knil stared at her blankly, all but asleep on his feet and too tired to be confused.
"'I know who you are?' What is this supposed to mean, you little twit!"
And then Knil passed out.
Alex surveyed the town from the rooftop, chewing thoughtfully on an unlikely meat sandwich of some sort. She wasn't going to think about what it probably contained until it was safely digested.
"Erek?"
"Wahrgmphsneehg?" He bubbled incoherently from an equally suspicious cup of soup, which she would probably end up fishing him out of.
"The world...is our mollusk." She nodded gravely, spat out an incredible wad of gristle into her hand, and lobbed it at a random passerby.
It hit a blonde kid in a weird hat. She snickered.
"Hey, shortie! Yer mama dresses you funny!" She called, making the proper (in)appropriate and wholly rude gesture to accompany the taunt.
Link glared at her and took aim.
She didn't see the boomerang until it was too late.
Knil blinked. The world above him was blurred. And wet.
And it stank worse than, as it were, a Goron's armpit on a hot day.
"Gnnnrfggh?" He moaned, attempting to sit up.
Not a good idea. His vision wobbled threateningly. Strange colours wheeled around in a nausea-inducing kaleidoscopic dance.
"Woooogh.."
Alex groaned.
"What the crap was that?" She muttered, rubbing the side of her head. It burned like jalapenos mixed with acid... being absorbed through the skin.
Erek buzzed worriedly around her head.
"Umm...that kid hit you with a boomerang. And then ran off, muttering derangedly." He said, nodding.
"Ohhh joy." She snarled, slowly levering herself to her feet.
"..Don't you have anything to do?"
"Naah, not really. Let's break into Hyrule Castle." She suggested, thoughtful.
"Sounds goo- ARE YOU INSANE!"
Alex traipsed off, snickering madly.
Until she tripped, anyway.
"WAUUUUUGH-"
"...nnnuuuugh..."
"YOU JERK! YOU MADE ME - ...Oh, bugger."
She sighed, and hauled Knil out of the gutter.
"I'm gonna regret this later, aren't I..."
Alex wheezed and lowered the all but unconscious boy to the ground, despite his feeble groans. The girl at the reception desk narrowed her eyes.
"Oh no you don't, I already kicked him out once-"
She ignored the receptionist and fished around in her pockets. After a moment she produced a pair of red rupees, which she very pointedly left on the counter. They reflected quite nicely in the girl's widening eyes.
Alex glared at her on general principles.
"Give him a bed, or something. And food, maybe, I don't care."
She paused, a fiendish idea forming in her head. She grinned.
"Tell him ... tell him... that Malon the ranch girl helped him."
And then she ran for it.
The receptionist tapped one of the rupees, licked it, bit it, shook it, and very, very slowly pocketed them.
Knil whimpered.
