This is the second chapter uploaded today, and might be slightly confusing if you came here first.


Chapter 26

Nallina stepped into her room with the newest stack of pages. She shook her head. "She just gets faster and faster at turning these out."

"Is it helping her?" Legolas asked.

Nallina smiled gently at him. "She at least feels she is doing something. That, if not this, helps."

He nodded. "It would." He reached out for the pages, quickly sorting them out. He lifted a brow when done, before nodding once. "For now, at least, I think I should return to my duties."

"You're leaving? Now?"

"Only for a few days, Nallina. Lunian won't even notice my absence. You can ask Elrohir to help, if need be."

"She wants this to be a surprise, when she presents it to her parents."

His eyes widened slightly, before he tilted his head. "I would think she would… remove some pages first."

"Oh, no doubt."

"I certainly wouldn't want my parents seeing some of those," Carathwan agreed, entering the conversation.

Legolas smiled faintly even as he got up. "Good day, Ladies."

"Lord Legolas," Nallina bowed her head slightly. When he was gone, she closed the door, and sat down to look through the newest pictures. "She has captured so much of her life so perfectly," she sighed.

"Except for him."

"Who?"

"Legolas. Her lover. Either, both."

Nallina glanced up quickly, and then back down. "She was frustrated once that she couldn't remember Legolas at all. She has finally found him, at least in part. Only when he was wary or angry."

"Does it matter?"

Nallina looked up, and slowly nodded. "It does, indeed." She got up, moving to the stack from the 'pre-Legolas' era, finding numerous pictures of a young Lunian, young Aragorn, and many elves of Imladris Nallina had never known until coming west. She tilted her head, smiling at the small human child. "She was an adorable child. Both times, actually."

"Wasn't it odd?"

"What?"

"Knowing her… again."

"She was born again with but a few memories, but those she clung to." Nallina closed her eyes, recalling so many years of finding the small elf standing on the shore, gazing into the east, waiting. "She waited for him to come. She retained much of herself in those years, at times. One moment she was any other elf of her age, and then she was the wise old woman she had become, standing alone and firm in her knowledge, her beliefs. Once he came, she allowed herself to be a child. She… released her past to enjoy her present."

"And now she's driving herself in circles to remember it." Carathwan sighed, looking at a random picture. "She led such a life," she breathed.

Nallina laughed. "Yes. I always felt young when around her, though I was older. She lived in Imladris, which I never saw. She spent time in Lothlorien—again, which I never saw, not in its true splendor. She went to Gondor, knew Arwen and called her 'sister.' I never knew the Kings of men, when she called them friends. She even knew hobbits, and visited the Glittering Caves with Legolas."

"Did they do everything together?"

Nallina's smile faded. "Everything except die," she agreed at last. "And we nearly lost him as well, when she died."

Carathwan frowned. "Nallina… elves will only die of a broken heart."

"Or severe wounds or poison," she corrected absently, looking at another set of eyes in a blank face.

"So… Legolas loved her?"

"Of course. And he still does. As she loves him."

"Lina," she frowned. "Was he…" she glanced at the picture Nallina had picked up. "Him?"

Nallina sighed softly. "Carathwan, even if I was inclined to answer, you should know I cannot."

"Why not? You know who it is she is missing."

"Yes. As practically every elf in the west does," she sighed. "But they will not tell for the reason I cannot. It is not spoken of, so that it cannot be destroyed."

"What? You think her knowing who she loved will keep her from loving him?"

"Her soul must reach for his, as it couldn't when she was human. If she is not confident of her feelings when she does so, it will be so much worse than if she never did. For both of them."

"But—"

"Enough, Cara. Leave it be. Let her figure things out on her own."

Carathwan stared at her for a long moment. She set her jaw, pursed her lips, and got to her feet. She left the room quietly, shut the door behind her, took four neat, quiet steps, and then ran. She ran to Lunian's room, throwing the door open, the wind created blowing a few sheets of memories from their places. "Lunian," she began, breathing a bit quickly.

"What is it, Cara?"

"Who is he?" she asked, holding up the picture.

"Cara," Lunian sighed.

"No. I mean, who is he to you."

Lunian paused, a frown touching her brow as she looked down at the picture. "A mystery," she stated at last.

"Nothing more?"

"I… she… loved him. As for me… I don't know him. I mean, I do, but… I don't… I'm not making any sense, am I?" Lunian sighed, letting her head fall to rest in her hand as she stared at the eyes. "When I think of him, I think safety, warmth, comfort, love… and yet…"

"Yet?"

Lunian exhaled shakily. "Yet I feel the same around…"

"Yes?"

Lunian smiled wryly.

"Lunian," Carathwan sighed, "Were it not for this whole memory thing, you would tell me without holding back!"

Lunian smiled faintly, then settled back in her chair. "I suppose I would have. After making you squirm and beg, of course," she sighed. Then she reached out for a book, and handed it to Carathwan. "Here."

Carathwan frowned at the book even as Lunian got up, flopping gracelessly onto her bed. She rolled so they were facing each other. She motioned at the book, so Carathwan slowly opened it. She blinked, and looked at the picture for a long moment. Legolas was depicted so realistically she almost thought she could hear the laughter in his eyes. Slowly she sat down, feeling this picture was somehow different than the others. "Lunian?"

"Keep going."

The next page showed another image had been stuffed within the covers. It was again Legolas, regally dressed and clearly in that mind-set, his shoulders straight, eyes hard and determined… Carathwan moved so she was lying beside her friend. "How many are there?"

"Quite a few," Lunian sighed, her head resting on her wrists.

Carathwan studied her for a long moment before turning the page. Her eyes had darkened to stormy grey, seeming ancient and bleak. She tore her eyes away and looked at the next drawing. Then the next, and the next. One made her stiffen and blush. "Lunian!"

Lunian chuckled. "Which is it?"

"He… He…"

"I know he's half naked, but which one is it?"

"You've drawn more than one?" She was scandalized.

Lunian laughed lightly, moving so she was propped up on her elbows. Her eyes softened, her expression tender as she gazed upon the sketch of Legolas. "His hair was still damp from swimming," she murmured, a finger lightly tracing down the arm.

"What are the marks on his back for?"

"Scars from battles," Lunian answered absently.

Carathwan stared for a moment before realizing what she was doing. Promptly she turned the page. She flushed a few minutes later when she came to one of a soaked Legolas with his shirts dripping in one hand. The water clung to him as lovingly as the pen had depicted his lines. "You're in love with him," she breathed.

Lunian smiled wryly once more. "For what it matters," she agreed, sighing.

"What do you mean, for what it matters? Lunian, this is… this is…"

"Terrible," Lunian put in.

"But—"

"Cara, I'm in love with him… but what about him?" She motioned at the featureless set of eyes. "I—she—I loved him as well!" She thrust both hands into her hair, her head hanging between them. "How…" her voice broke. "How can I love them both, Cara? Am I not betraying him for Legolas? And what of Legolas? Is my love for him not also a betrayal?" She let out a groan and dropped her head to the bed. "What does it matter? Legolas sees me as a child, and he hasn't seen fit to so much as show his face."

Carathwan opened her mouth to protest… but found nothing to say. All at once, the envy she had been feeling as she went through her friend's past life vanished, a fervent prayer of relief formed within her that her life was so much simpler.

When Lunian's body shook slightly, another prayer escaped her. One she would do everything she could to see come true.