Sunrise over the tango factory (someday I will explain how that name came about...but not today) A/N: I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry this chapter is a little on the late side. Firstly we had to decide what 'Romeo and Juliet' scene we were doing (all will become clear v. soon), that was tough, we were both pretty lazy this week, so it couldn't be too long or complicated because neither of us could be arsed to type it out. Secondly, we knew what we wanted to write, we knew how this chapter was going to end, we even knew what were going to call this chapter, but could we find a spare moment in the day to type it up? No! We'd trudge home from school after enduring lessons filled with: revision, work, exams, mocks, coursework, grades, yadda yadda yadda. Then we come home, somehow tackle the growing monster of home/course work that's so big it has its on ecosystem and climate, and when that's finally done you go to sit down, relax and type a little fan fic and your mother wants you to clean up. You groan about coursework and needing 'recreation time', but it's no use, you mother launches into this big speech about 'back in her day' and you fall to the floor and begin hyperventilating at the prospect of a lecture and when you come to it's 7.45 the next morning, you've got to go to school, and the nightmare starts again. So please, we beg of you, once you read the last sentence of this chapter, and reflect upon it, please spare a thought for us poor, homework crazed souls that are raging tree trunk and sunrise over the tango factory....and review, longer the better.

Raging tree trunk A/N: what she said.

PS: Thanx to gottaluvarnrimmer we love you and want your babies!!!! .....except for the small problem that we're all females here(as far as i know, aplogies otherwise)....that is- unless your hiding something Sunrise........

P.P.S: VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE. WE ARE LOOKING FOR A BETA READER. PLEASE LEAVE US A REVIEW ENQUIRING. THANX :) XXX


Lister met up with Hazza outside of textiles, he nearly got a hernia from laughing. Hazza had followed the headmaster's orders and got a pair of eyebrows, bright pink furry ones that looked like caterpillars (they didn't have leopard skin) and also he'd made a pink beard and mustache to match. Lister stopped laughing when he saw Hazza feverishly tugging off the comical fur and at the same time attempting to rub off his black marker pen eyebrows.

"Whatssup?" asked Lister, following Hazza's gaze. It led to a girl walking out of textiles struggling with her bag. She stopped, and began to sort it out.

"Who's that?" asked Hazza, mouth slightly open, and eyes sparkling.

"New girl" replied Lister with a shrug.

"She's gorgeous! What's her name?"

"Maria, apparently, she was in my History class this morning, apparently she's half Italian- gets it from her dads side!"

Hazza could barely keep his tongue in his mouth.

Maria had long black hair, straight as a ruler that swept across her back like an elegant curtain. Dark, brown eyes, that shone, red lips, deep tanned skin and a figure most girls would kill for.

As she bent down to begin the arduous task of shoving all of her subject books in her bag, her knee high school skirt rode slightly up her thighs, showing more lean, shapely legs. Hazza could barely contain his "excitement".

"Maria" he repeated dreamily, "Maria, she's gorgeous, she's incredible, she's-"

"A stuck up cow" interrupted Lister, trying to tug Hazza away.

"What?" hissed Hazza,

"The was she walks, the way she talks, every thing, she'd never go out with people like us, no way...she's destined to marry someone who doesn't eat their entire meal with their salad fork."

Hazza seemed to shrink with disappointment, and as the bell rang reluctantly dragged himself to English.

"What's her second name" asked Hazza,

"What...who?" replied Lister, distracted by a short, tight skirt walking his way.

"Maria, that gorgeous figure of loveliness with the great legs, what's-her-second-name!"

"Oh, Staccato, or sumat like that, weird aint it"

"Maria Staccato" repeated Hazza, allowing it to roll round his tongue, he sighed "Mrs. Maria Staccato Harrison, has a nice ring to it, don't you think.

"You what?" Lister laughed "it sounds like a B-list movie star!"

"Exactly, it conjures up mystery, romance, slow dancing in the rain and wild, spontaneous sex in broom closets"

Lister smirked, "Yeah, better yet a page 3 model! I can see it now, sexy housewife bakes yer buns!"

Hazza shoved Lister, "Don't talk about her like that- she's not some slut or ho or-" he was cut off by Lister's current girlfriend -Katy's- arrival,

"What you talking about guys?" she asked snuggling up to Lister who quickly kissed her,

"That new girl, Maria."

Katy pouted slightly, "Do you think she's pretty then."

Lister paused in thought for a moment, "Well she has nice cheeks."

Katy nodded, "She does have a nice face."

Lister laughed, "Who says i was talking bout her face. I was thinking more about her arse!"

Hazza interrupted, "She's not, some, some, OBJECT to be drooled over, you know she's a human being!"

Katy and Lister stared at Hazza, bewildered by his outburst.

"Since when have you thought girls were nothing but objects to be drooled over?" asked Lister, raising his eyebrows.

Hazza scowled dangerously "I've never held that opinion!" he snapped. "I think it's disgusting the way women are seen as figures of sexual desires, merely existing to give the odd shag now and then for when a bloke feels like it"

"Come off it Hazza, you got lumbered with a thousand lines last term for prostitution!"

Katy's blue eyes opened extra wide, "he did what?" she asked, suddenly intrigued with her boyfriends-and-boyfriend's-friend conversation.

Lister smirked he loved telling a good story, especially if it involved humiliating Hazza. "He went round the yard with a little sign saying 'willing to pay for girl to have sex with me'!"
Katy began giggling, as Hazza blushed crimson, turning away. "Oh Hazza" she laughed, "How much have you got? You need to be a bloody millionaire before you got a bit of nookie"

"We're late for English" muttered Hazza, storming away, his cheeks still flushed with embarrassment. Lister rolled his eyes at his mate's outburst, planted a kiss on Katy's pink glossed lips and ran after Hazza.

Miss Engrais, the English teacher was a slim young women with curly blonde hair. Fresh out of university she was filled with chirpy confidence and a sunny sense of security.

Today's lesson, despite the warnings issued to her by her colleagues, was to be a practical one. She believed children learned better and flourished when they interacted with the text and each other. She had just finished handing out the books when Lister and Hazza arrived, a lot more nosily and dramatically then she would have hoped.

The door to her classroom was very temperamental, and it would only open with the slightest of touches, throwing you weight against it would make it jam, as if to say 'you're heavy handed, your not coming in!'

Of course the 'destructive duo' casually forgot and were currently attempting to barge down the down. Miss Engrais rolled her eyes toward heaven and gently pulled the door open just as Lister and Hazza were running at it full pelt, they stumbled into the classroom, to the clapping and cheering of their piers. Smiling and bowing they made their way to their seats.

Miss Engrais cleared her throat, and the class, with the exception of Lister and Hazza, fell silent. "For the remainder of the term" she breezed "we shall be studying the famous romantic tragedy 'Romeo and Juliet' by the famous playwright William Shakespeare"

The class let out a loud groan, coupled by Lister yelling "That's complete bollocks!"

"That might be your opinion David, but could you please air it in a less colourful manner?"

Lister had no idea what had just been said to him, but he had inkling it was a telling off, so he tutted rebelliously and glared at her.

Miss Engrais gave a small cough and continued, "We shall be studying how Shakespeare was able to create overpowering senses of raw human emotion, like love, anger, hate, and we'll do this by living, breathing and being the text"

Hazza and Lister exchanged confused shrugs.

"Now" smiled the teacher "I need two volunteers"

The whole class stared down at their desks, determined not be involved in anything to do with their teachers lesson.

"Anyone?" squeaked Miss Engrais, deflating at the lack of enthusiasm,

"Me and Hazza'll do it miss" said Lister,

"What?" screamed Hazza, but it was too late, he was being dragged to the front of the room by his tie.

"Act 1 scene 5 boys" smiled Miss Engrais. "Aaron, because you're the tallest you can be Romeo, so that means David, you'll have to be Juliet"

Lister shrugged his shoulders "whatever" he said, in his best 'like I give a damn' voice, whereas most teenage lads would have had a tantrum.

"Now, imagine you're in a glittering ball room, Romeo enters in disguise, for if his is seen at the Capulet household, death is most certain. From across the room enters beautiful Juliet, a kind hearted, virgin, who knows nothing of the consequences her love will bring, so-"Miss Engrais stopped, as she spotted Lister holding his shirt out in two peaks in front of him. "David" she said casually "what are they?"

"They're me tits miss" came his reply.

Miss Engrais cursed herself for asking such a question; she sighed and gestured for the boys to begin, something, which in 4 minutes time, she will have come to regret.

It was safe to say Hazza would a terrible actor, you could even go as far as top say he was crap, shit and bollocks all at once. Once at the front of the class, he'd lowered his head, shoved his free hand, the other holding the script book, into his pockets, he shuffled about nervously, trudging through the ancient text that meant nothing to him.

"To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss," he muttered daring to look up before glaring at the floor again.

Lister however, like always, took everything in his stride, as if his tits weren't enough to prove he was Juliet he made his voice falsetto high, and walked on tiptoes as if wearing 6 inch stilettos.

"Good Pilgrim" he screeched, batting his eyelashes and drawing circles on Hazza's chest with his fingers, "you do wrong your hand too much. Which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is a holy palmers' kiss" he paused, "in short, give us a shag"

"Right, that's enough," yelled Miss Engrais with all the authority she could manage.

Just then the door opened and in struggled the girl they had seen earlier, Maria. Her hair was messed up, her coat was hanging off one shoulder, she was dragging her bag by its broken strap across the floor, in her right hand her timetable was in tatters,

"Is this room 209?" she asked looking at Miss Engrais expectantly.

Miss Engrais stared at her for a moment before nodding, "Urm are you alright dear, only you seem a little.... disheveled..."

"I'm fine, " Maria, wheezed, wiping her forehead and shifting her bag on her shoulder.

Miss Engrais sighed and nodded, the start of term was going less well than she expected. "Well then don't just stand there, take a seat."

Maria nodded, and began making her way to a seat at the back of the class before Miss Engrais had a sudden idea," On second thought swap places with David here please."

"What" he screamed, looking from Maria to Miss Engrais "I was enjoying myself"

"Yes, well I'll see if we can give you a smaller part later on" she lied, Maria looked at her with pleading eyes, but it was of no use.

"Come now dear, don't be shy, what did you say your name was again?" the teacher enquired.

"I didn't, it's Maria, Maria Staccato" she dumped her bag on the chair, and walked to the front of the class and under their scrutiny, stood beside Hazza, giving him a small smile.

He was sure he was going to faint, she, the girl of his dreams, was stood next to him about to reenact the most famous romantic play of all times, with the obvious exception of the front of the boat bit from Titanic.

He tried to smile back but found none of his body parts would do what he wanted, well one part was doing everything he didn't want it to do. So he quickly looked away as Maria spoke Juliet's line.

For Hazza, it was as if sugar coated angels were singing a song about chocolate marshmallows.

He'd never heard anything so soft and sweet in his entire life before. It felt like the bottom of his stomach had fallen out, his head felt empty and dizzy, and it was if everything in his life up till that point had been wasted because he'd never known this person.

Then, it was time for his line; he cleared his throat and read. It was magical. He poured every once of energy he had into his performance, he pulled snippets of information from long forgotten drama classes, and he copied moves from those horrid, slushy romantic movies he was forced to take his kid sister to.

And he pulled it off.

Big time.

All the lads in the class, stopped pointing and laughing, they sat, open mouthed, moved to tears by his performance whilst the girls rested their head on their hands and gazed at him gooey eyed.

At the back of the class, unbeknown to anyone, Lister was getting worried, it looked as if Hazza was enjoying this.

It looked like he was putting a lot of effort into it.

It looked like he was doing work.

Lister straightened up, 'come' on man' he whispered 'do something'

Hazza did do something. He went down on one knee, took hold of a very shocked Maria's hand, and gazed deep into her eyes as the whole class wolf whislted and cheered.

Lister scowled "pull her skirt down, take this piss, feel her tits, but so something man" he found himself hissing, raising out of his chair in desperation.

"Then have my lips the sin that they have took" said Maria, beaming at Hazza, who was breathless with excitement. He stroked her hand gently, before gazing once again into her hazel coloured eyes,

"Sin from my lips" he smiled, gently placing a kiss on her hand, before standing. Lister was now on his feet, hands clenched into fists, "O trespass sweetly urged!"

Lister watched helplessly as Hazza gently lifted Maria's head, and kissed on tenderly on the lips.

The class roared their approval

"Hush" barked Miss Engrais, eager to see where this was leading, but the scene was interrupted by the slamming of the door, indicating Lister had left the classroom.