Author's Note: This is a wonderful little collection of short stories based off the Gaia Online thread "things Snape wouldn't say". Good times on that forum…

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but if JKR is willing to give them to me, I will more than happily take them off her hands. She can still write the damn books, because if I did they couldn't be called children's books anymore, but I want all the money, and I do want a juicy SNUPIN scene. That would be hot. I also don't own Gaia Online, but I do belong there… LOVE YOU!

1.

"Well done Harry."

Harry was speeding toward the ground when the crowd saw him clap his hand to his mouth as though he was about to be sick, he hit the field on all fours, coughed, and something gold fell into his hand.

"I've got the snitch!" He shouted, waving it above his head.

"Well done Harry!" Snape yelled, jumping up off his seat and throwing his hand into the air, acting like the rabid fan girls the poor boy had encountered so many times before.

Dumbeldore looked up at Severus with his ice blue eyes.

"Dude, Sev. What the hell are you doing?" The old man asked in disbelief. Snape realized what he was doing and quickly sat back down, scowl firmly planted on his face.

"You're fired."