Chapter 3: Tomo's personal life
San: colleague
Sama or sempai: a person of high ranking and with skill
ne: exclamation, used by guys as humor, usually reserved for females
arigatou: thank you!
When the man awoke, Bernadette returned from investigating his small garden. Seasonals, blue yellow, red, pink adorned the far wall facing the bench. Some of the bluebells were blooming, half out of their complete opening. "It's a nice patch of flowers you got there. I love bluebells! "
"Yep, nature at my doorstep. I don't have the energy to adopt a pet dog or cat so a garden is fine. I just need to water it every day. I'm happy you like it." Tomo sempai adjusted his posture so that he could lean back more comfortably. The girl gazed at him with motherly concern, surprising for such a young tender age. She asked if he often suffered pain and how he endured it.
"It's not easy to tolerate it, but praying helps. Sometimes I get very drowsy from the medication and cough a lot, that's a side effect…… my body is so weak I cannot see anyone for a week, or I will catch infection. Thank you for asking," he focused on his feet, holding the swing rope. "If you're still curious I don't mind telling you more."
After that they went indoors, the sun too sweltering to bear. Tomo felt a spasm returning and collapsed onto the sofa, sapped of energy. He told them to get his medication from his bedroom drawer. This time it wasn't as tough to overcome and by the time Kenni returned with the stuff, he had stopped spasming and laid there resting. Bernie was crying when he gathered his senses once more. His long tapering fingers touched her softly on the cheek.
"Why do you weep?"
"I was so worried. Sorry you're already ill and yet you have to be concerned for me. Sorry." The artiste smiled, shaking his head, unspoken friendship connecting between them. Her compassion and generosity proved that they could be more than just casual friends, he felt. They were on the same wavelength.
"What's for dinner?" Saito asked, pulling away his gaze, addressing the table. He was thinking, Why did Tomo trust a stranger girl with his problems? She's only twelve, we've been brothers and I've never betrayed you! You're much too trusting and I told you not to over exert yourself but you never listen to me. Now it is worse. It's your fault we are fretting like crazy.
He could have just told him the truth. But what would it result in? Whenever they spoke it was always a conflict, never accord. Tomo wouldn't believe him. So forget it. Saito smiled bitterly.
Dinnertime: A Struggle for Power
"Saito have this dumpling. It's so delicious melts in the mouth," the artiste told him, laying it onto his plateful of rice. Tomo had loaded all their plates with food, and he himself had left his meal untouched. He ate a bird's helping when Kenni glanced at him. Everyone noticed of course but the tension would not be broken because of the false cheerfulness. Dinner is supposed to be of great family importance and building up relationships, so Asians try not to fight or argue at the table.
"Eat, Tomo. I made your favourite braised chicken. We're already filled." Could she be nagging or just advising? She added that she would be happy to make more dishes of his choice. The man made his I-really-cannot-eat- but-I –will-try weak consent and clipped food between the chopsticks. Saito slammed his on the table.
"If you don't eat, you're wasting her effort. How to get well? EAT," the burly guy thundered, his face clouding over. Everyone stuffed food into their mouths.
On his third helping Tomo sempai gathered his rice to the corner of the plate. His expression remained serene but inside he was thinking resentfully I never take drugs and I've tried to be vegetarian but I still have cancer now. On bad days the patient knew he would throw up emptying his stomach and leaving a sour taste that lingered for days.
He understood why Saito nagged and shouted at him. All in the name of duty. In truth the artiste was on his own in terms of battling his illness. The pretext of help was: eat more or you won't be better. You won't die.
Raining
The letter was complete at last! The young man replaced his pen into its holder and read it over. His eyesight blurred and he had to lie back. The side effects of enduring long term illness.
If only the writing wasn't so shaky.
Dear Bernadette and my soulmate,
I am so happy to have read your letter. I always take the time to read every single one of my fans' letters. Ah, thank you also for your wishes. I am pleasantly surprised we're neighbours, to think we've always stayed nearby but I didn't know. A small world!
My sickness is an ongoing thing for some time now. I wish I could completely recover from it, that's my wish. I have to fight battles like I do in the plays. There will be some performances I owe you guys when I get back on my feet. Working very hard! It's called Rose Summer , a fiction story. Other plays too, but without titles yet. I hope you will like it.
Yes you can come and visit me. Treat me like an ordinary person ok, because I am just like you. I am not a God like on stage. Everything is real when you stop acting. I find it such a pity sometimes. Don't you? There is this phrasing, asking people to always be on their best performance so that when you become old or sickly you'd not regret it. It is quite applicable.
Maybe you do not believe me as I speak of soulmates. Disbelief in your eyes. I know. It is fine with me but I just want to have some belief to keep my fantasy ongoing. It helps me to have hope. It is very important to remain hopeful always so it is not painful and agonizing.
Hope you don't see this as too untidy. Sorry! I love reading letters, do write back.
Your idol and Friend,
Tomo sempai
He dropped the sheet and cursed. Kennex sighed. If only he didn't try so hard to be perfect he wouldn't be angry and resentful. And he once declared he could stay by himself and be independent. How to? She wondered. His culinary was lousy and left alone, he was bound to cook instant noodles with salted vegetables. Tomo was intelligent, creative, but he just couldn't be bothered to eat a balanced diet if you didn't get on his tail! What a diet, not very nutritious if you were going to recover from terminal illness which takes a lot out of you.
"Kenni, I'm cold. Could you get me another blanket?"
"Right away." Rain splattered against the panes. She tossed him the blanket and rushed to shut the window still open. This girl must be special, Kennex thought. He usually was very forgetful about his fans let alone their names. "Shall I make some hot cocoa?"
"Um. I wish it wouldn't rain. I like sunny days." Followed by a violent coughing. Of course! He would like cool weather were it not that he would be in pain or feel cold. He took a sip.
"Why is it so bitter?" he hissed, the mug splashing some liquid on the table. His lips grey, Tomo stared hard at her. She lowered her gaze and said sorry.
