Sunrise over the tango factory's A/N: Yes, we promised plenty of updates…and we kinda haven't, but here's an extra long (well extra long for us) chappie as a 'we're very sorry so please don't kill us' present. I think we're going to have to higher the rating because of use of 'extreme' language and violence. I think it's been quite fun delving into Lister's teenage years, cos we've written them in a teenaged angst fuelled passion and this story is getting more forbidding and more upsetting as it progresses but…boy are we loving it and we sincerely hope you are too. Cheers to all who are reading and reviewing, we think you all rock!

Raging tree trunk's A/N:Ok people. Sorry for the long delay what with coursework, mocks, boy troubles, getting Sunrise banned from the pc, and boy troubles sob I've hardly had time to contribute to any writing. So I guess it's my fault, however you can put your sharp sticks and pitchforks away cos it's finally here! And its a long chappie too, so enjoy, we worked hard too get it out to you before you forgot us, love and peace.

Rage xxxxx

Final word from sunrise: when did you Rage have boy troubles????


As luck would have it Katy and Lister made up the next morning, after he played his own rendition of Meatloaf's 'I would do anything for love' on his guitar. At first Katy pretended to be mad, but quickly subsided when he produced a large bunch of red roses from behind his back.

"Oh my god!" she squealed, "These must have cost a fortune!"

Lister shrugged, and grinned shyly "they were a steal" For once he was telling the truth, little did Katy know they literally had been a steal, from Mrs Marple's front garden, whose husband used to garden for the famous zero-gee footballer Ashley Golebeck.

Katy grinned "you're soooooooo romantic, snuggle cheeks"

Lister blushed furiously "how many times have I told you not to call me that in public" he hissed, leaning forward covertly, bringing his shoulders up to his ears.

Katy pouted, "You're not ashamed of me, are you snuggle cheeks?"

"Stop calling me that!" growled Lister, checking the street for anyone he knew, luckily it was a Saturday morning, and the only people up at this time was old people and joggers. Lister allowed his eyes to wander down Katy's body that was clad in a short, white silk nightgown, with a pink see-through dressing gown pulled across her flimsily.

Katy spoke up "why aren't you looking me in the eye? OHMYGOD, you're ashamed of me, ohh god, you hate me, you think I'm a terrible girlfriend" Lister quickly slipped into his own little dream world, he'd got a lot of practise from Katy's previous ramblings and ravings. After what seemed like a sufficient pause to indicate he was listening to Katy, Lister finally spoke

"I'm not ashamed of you" he smiled sweetly.

"Why can't you look me in the eye then!" she sobbed.

"Because" said Lister smoothly "I was just admiring how beautiful your body is, and I was saving the best bit till last, your face!"

He watched Katy's paranoia and anger melt away like snow, and her tear-streaked face broke into a smile, coupled with her 'come to bed eyes'. This was enough for Lister, he slung his guitar over his shoulder, pulled Katy towards him, with perhaps more force then necessary but he was turned on, and kissed her.

"Get in there!"

Lister spun round, dropping Katy against the doorframe in the process. Hazza was leaning on the fence, grinning stupidly. Lister jerked his head to show Hazza to get lost, but he seemed immune to taking hints. "I've got something to tell you!" he smiled, "about Maria and Me!"

Lister suddenly became interested, he ran across the Hazza. "OI!" screamed Katy "where you going?"

Lister gestured at Hazza,

Katy went red, and her eyes narrowed "you'd rather hear about your sad git of a friends date then for me and you to..." she smiled sultry, moving her hips in a very descriptive wave.

Lister raised his eyebrows "sorry about this babe, but I really wanna find out what Maria and Hazza has been up to"

He could practically feel the hate vibes delving their way into his back as he hopped over the wall and patted Hazza on the back.


They went to their sort of hang out.

Which was the park, Hazza sat on the swings, whilst Lister, sat effortlessly on the roundabout, lighting his cigarette.

"So" he asked finally, "how'd it go?"

Hazza give a small smile. "I love her" he sighed.

Lister practically choked on his cig, "w...what?" he coughed,

"I love her" repeated Hazza. His face suddenly broke into a huge smile. "I LOVE HER," he shouted throwing his arms wide.

Someone across the park shouted back "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Where any normal teenage boy would have either shut up or shouted abuse back, Hazza yelled "THANK YOU!" waving to the person, before Lister grabbed his arm, and pushed him into the swings

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he hissed

Hazza was a little taken aback by his display of anger "I don't get what you mean..." "Sayin' you love Maria, you barely know here, you've been on one date, one lousy arsed up date!"

Hazza gulped and eyed Lister guiltily, Lister sighed. "You haven't been on one smeggin date have you?"

Hazza attempted to pat Lister's arm but Lister shrugged him off angrily, "Get off my man" he spat, glaring at Hazza's hand like it was snake venom melting through his leather jacket.

Hazza shoved his hands in his pockets. "Look, Lister. I know me and Maria haven't known each other long.... but I know we just belong. Like positive and negative. She makes me feel whole. She makes me feel.... like I can do anything.... I would do anything for her. She completes me. Without her, I feel all the love has been sucked out of the world and with her, its like the love that was sucked out has been vacuum-packed straight into her. I can see myself with her forever. I feel I can be myself around her. I could fart and she'd just laugh, and say its ok- even you take the piss

When I do that Lister. With her- she understands I don't wanna look at another girl. I feel like, I can battle sea creatures. Swim oceans, brave deserts, deliver papers to Mrs. Velinski with the rotweiler. That's how... how I feel. With Maria."

Lister stared in horror at Hazza. He had done the impossible, despicable thing. He had fallen in love. Not with anyone either. But that stuck up cow, Maria Staccato, Miss Holeyer than-thou. The future Mrs. Maria Harrison?? Lister shook off the thought, "What does she have you on man?"

Hazza shrugged, "I guess its part of being in love."

Lister gapped, "You sound like a bad smeggin poem book!"

He shook his friend by the shoulders, "Snap out of it man. She's nothing. Just another girl. She's manipulative can't you see that? She's stuck up, she's, she's, using you. She has you round her little finger. SEE WHATS RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU MAN!"

Hazza snapped and lashed out at Lister, socking him hard across the cheek with such force he was knocked to the floor "YOU DONT GET IT MAN!" He stared at his fist before coldly looking at Lister, "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You've never been in love with anyone." Hazza snorted, "Except yourself maybe."

Lister said nothing, Hazza shook his head and walked off, Lister watched sorrowfully as the boy he thought was his friend, walked out of the park. For the first time in years, Lister drew his knees to his chest and cried.

In the all too familiar smoky room of the 'The Aigburth Arms pub' Lister sat crossed legged on a faded armchair, staring at the pool tables or more at the space beneath them. It had come as a shock to him to find out he was left abandoned under a pool table, since then he felt he had a special bond with this place, often coming in to sit for hours on end. At first, having a school kid coming in didn't exactly thrill the bartender and sitting in the pub, so Lister would often find himself being grabbed by the scruff of the neck and thrown onto the street with a 'and stay out!' this didn't stop him coming in, he'd simply break the toilet window and climb in, very quickly the bartender learnt it was far easier to allow Lister to sit in the bar, rather then replace toilet windows weekly.

On this particular day, Lister had been sat in the Aigburth arms for nearly an hour, when a shadow was cast on the floor in front of his eyes, glancing up, he saw it was Hazza, looking incredibly guilty.

"Go away" snarled Lister, turning away from Hazza.

"Lister" he begged "please, i'm sorry, I talked to Maria, and she said I might have been a little cruel to you..."

"You think?" laughed Lister sarcastically.

Hazza wasn't paying attention, he was gazing round the room, "why d'you always come in here, man" he asked "it's the pits"

Lister remained silent.

Lister didn't look away from the beneath the pool table whilst answering Hazza coldly "You know why I come here Hazza"

Hazza scrunched his face, "Yea I remember you saying something- summit bout your mum and dad meeting here or summit... to be honest mate I wasn't really listening I was too busy oglin' that barmaids fantastic tits- I mean, -not as good as Maria's but still, - PHROAW"

Lister felt a single tear roll down his cheek, "You never listen when it matters do you…"

Hazza frowned, "What was that? ARE YOU CRYING?"

Lister scowled, "Fuck off man."

Hazza leant closer to him "shit" he swore, when he finally realized something was up "what's up?"

"Nothin'" said Lister, hastily wiping his face

"Somethin's up" persisited Hazza "this past few week you've been moody, you're always angry at me, you hate Maria and now you;re cryin'...maybe it's a hormone imbalance?"

Lister felt the corners of his mouth tug into a smile, but he somehow managed to stop it.

"Seriously mate" said Hazza, "I think you're turning into a girl, with the worse case of PMT in the world...I could just see you and Katy now...sat on the couch eating chocolate and watching titanic..."

That was it then, Lister began laughing "fuckin' nutter" he said, punching Hazza

Hazza ignored the punch, "Aww man, you'll probably wake up one morning and it'll have fallen off-"

"It!" gasped Lister horrified,

Hazza rolled his eyes and gestured wildly with his hands, "You know- It"

It was Lister's turn to roll his eyes, "Your supposed to be the one who wants to bonk Maria yet you can't even say It's name."

Hazza scowled, "I can too, it's a… it's a… LISTER! I don't wanna talk about bodily parts with you! You…you… perv…ewww"

Lister stood up angrily, "I thought you'd come to apologize!" he said walking away

Hazza shifted, "Yeah well, I said sorry."

"Sorry means you'll never do it again. You've done it over and over now man! YOU NEVER LEARN YOUR FUCKIN' LESSON!"

Hazza scowled, "Well if YOU didn't hate Maria so much!"

Lister blinked back more tears, "Sorry just int good enough man…Leave me alone"

Hazza immediately regretting what he said reached out to Lister who stepped back, "Tell her to leave alone too. Both of you… Just stay out of my way."