Alright, guys. I apparently confused most of you with the last chapter. I've tried to help out with review responses, but if you didn't tell me what confused you and only that you're confused, I can't really do much about that. If you would like to review/e-mail me with specifics, then I will get back to you (either next chapter or as soon as I get the e-mail) with explanations. Barring that, I hope this chapter clears things up for you. If not, and you don't want to ask me, then all I can recommend is reading The Worry Stone, which is the story of Lunian's past life. It is, of course, finished, and you can link there from my author's page. Sorry about the confusion... though I'm a bit confused as to how I confused so many of you in one fell swoop.
SofiaB: Sorry about that. No, they're still in the Undying Lands. I don't even know that they can travel back to Middle-Earth anymore, though once they obviously could. My thought was that those who were with Elrond would live kind of grouped around him, those with Thranduil around him, etc. So Legolas and Lunian traveled to whatever part of the Undying Lands that Thranduil and the Mirkwood/Fangorn elves settled in, rather than remaining where those of Imladris had settled.
angel13: Tell me what has confused you, and I'll try to clear it up, honest!
AM: Yeah, but she's in something of denial...
CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur: Yup. ;-)
Elven at Heart: I'm sorry, that's just how it ended up. This one is longer, though.
CupKate: Well, someone still has to cook and clean. But with less of a need for several positions (guards, soldiers, captains, etc.) the workload is undoubtedly lighter for all.
PrincessCelede: Well... with no idea exactly what confused you, I'll take a shot in the dark: Lunian and Legolas traveled to where Thranduil and the other Mirkwood/Fangorn elves for the most part settled when they went west. They are all still in the Undying Lands... If you were more confused about the elves' reaction to Lunian... then I suggest reading The Worry Stone. In short, Lunian-when half-human and mortal-traveled to Mirkwood and lived the majority of her life there and in Fangorn, with these elves.
Animir: Yay! Someone who isn't confused. Save those who read The Worry Stone I seemed to have really confused my readers with this last chapter. I just thought it would be a cute little 'hint' at the truth. Oh well... have fun on your vacation! Mine's not for three weeks, and even then it's going to be completely work-filled. Joy.
Lady Falcon Ranger: Well, I've only been posting for... eight months? Anyway, here you go. There is another chapter or two, but this is the main bit.
Nita: Perhaps at times, but he'll be changing his mind as soon as he wakes up. ; )
Chapter 30
Legolas woke feeling something was wrong. He frowned at seeing the garden rather than walls, then recalled leading Lunian out here after they ate dinner. He stretched slowly, trying to put the nagging feeling aside.
When it proved impossible to ignore, he got up and headed to his room, while mentally probing for Lunian's location. He froze mid-step when he couldn't sense her. There were only two reasons for that—death and distance. As he had experienced both before…
He jogged to her room, throwing the door open, praying she wasn't inside, and that her things were gone. His eyes closed in relief, then reopened to focus on a lonely square of white on the small table he had seen before relief darkened the room. He moved to it, unfolding it with hands which shook, to his annoyance but not surprise.
Legolas,
When you find this, I will likely be home. I have to leave, because… it's hard to explain, really. Our new closeness is starting to destroy what I had recovered from my previous life. You begin to take over what he was, begin to fill in where you shouldn't.
I know this must be hard enough on you as it is, wondering what will happen when I remember…
I need some time to think, to try and get this figured out. Silomern has caught me packing, and sworn to see me safely back. I have no doubt he will report to you the instant he returns, as well. I only hope you find this before that time… I think you will, since you will likely sense my absence the moment you wake.
I'm sorry love,
Lunian
Legolas stared down at the page for a long moment, before smiling. He refolded it carefully and carried it to his room, where he tucked it away with a few other faded pages of paper. He touched the top one for a moment, thinking about the lives he held parts of from within that stack. A letter from his mother before she went west. The crumpled note Lunian had brought with her on her mad flight from Imladris. Numerous messages from the hobbits, Gimli and Aragorn over the years after the quest. There were even a few hasty notes from Gandalf, and one from the former white wizard when Legolas had been but a child of eight, wishing him a good day in celebration of his birth. Numerous friends who had remained in Eryn Lasgalen when he went to Fangorn, or who had traveled west first also had letters hidden in this memory-packed drawer. Of course, they would likely fall apart if he tried to reread them, but he had no need to do so.
He smiled and let Lunian's latest addition fall to the others, before closing the drawer. He straightened and moved to the wardrobe, pulling some clothing from it that had been worn perfectly soft.
As he was finished with his bath, a knock came on the door. "Enter," he called, stepping into his leggings.
Silomern entered. "My lord, lady Lunian—"
"Became frightened and ran," he murmured. "I know. Thank you for seeing her safely back. Would you inform my father that I intend to visit there for a while."
"Of course, my lord," Silomern agreed, bowing his head.
Legolas let him go with a quick move of his hand, turning the motion to shut the door before he moved to a comb, quickly braiding his hair before finishing getting dressed. Slipping a few things into a small pack, he looked at himself in the mirror, smiling faintly. He nodded once, and set out after Lunian.
Though expecting to find her in her room, he sensed her instead by the pond. After debating with himself for a moment, he diverted to his room, dropping the pack off, along with his bow and quiver before leaving again to seek her out.
When he came upon her, she was facing the pond, her long hair pulled back in a very loose braid, several wisps moving in the gentle wind to caress her face. The sun melted over her lovingly, and played off the water with brilliant hues of violet and red. She was singing softly. "I've never heard you sing before," he admitted at a break in the verse, frowning slightly at the thought.
She stopped singing only at the end of the song, assuring him she had felt his approach. Eventually she spoke while looking resolutely out at the small, muted waves. "I was always painfully aware of my humanity. I knew my voice wasn't elven… though I didn't know how harsh it truly was. When the mood to sing hit me, I either forced it away or contented myself by humming."
"Your voice was softer and more gentle than that of any other human I ever came across."
She said nothing for a long moment, and then let out a soft sigh. "Did you regret the passing of days?"
"I mourned each past day with every sunset."
She tilted her head slightly up, watching for the first stars to appear. "How did I die? It is that alone I cannot fully remember."
He closed his eyes, his head bowing. He drew in a bracing breath. "You led me and Gimli to Imladris from Fangorn, then to the glen you favored." He sighed. "You rested against a tree, your silver hair unbound, stained yellow or crimson as the light changed, bleeding into night…" Another quick breath. "You died at sunset… in my arms."
She nodded. "I rather expected it was something like that."
Silence stretched for a long moment. "Lunian…"
"They used to be so bright," she murmured.
He frowned slightly, looking up at the stars.
"Like the sky after a cleansing storm," she murmured. "So bright, but darkened in pain or anger. It isn't hard to know which has darkened your eyes for so long." Her head fell, a shudder shaking the hairs which formed a thin, incomplete curtain against his eyes. "I'm sorry."
His throat grew tight, his arms itching to surround her, to hold her close and explain everything. Something—fear, perhaps—held him still. "It was not your choice to die."
"Wasn't it?"
"Not ultimately. You made the right choice then, my love. There was naught else you could have done." He tilted his head, waiting rather anxiously for her response.
"Still… after all of that, I forgot. For so long, I forgot, and then I didn't understand all of the clues I had…" She sighed, shaking her head. "It seems so obvious now, Egola. So much only fits when it's you."
"Lunian?"
She laughed softly, no joy in the tone. She sounded on the verge of tears. "I figured it out, Legolas. It was you. It was always you. You who loved me, who looked out for me, who took me with you everywhere. That alone should have told me. Not only did I remember a storm with very loud thunder while we were in Gondor, but Nallina said my lover and I were inseparable as long as she knew me."
"She shouldn't have."
"It was the truth, though, wasn't it? We were so close, for so long… and I couldn't remember. And then, when I began to, I tried to come up with any excuse for it not to be true. Your voice was different than his, your eyes darker. I didn't think about the differences I had noted for the others—human ears hear elven voices differently than elven ears do. Your eyes are darker, the shade of pain that has always haunted me in this lifetime—because of you. Because my previous life revolved around trying to see it as rarely as… humanly possible."
She got to her feet, walking slowly to the edge of the water. He followed just as slowly, keeping the same distance between them. For a long time, she said nothing, before sighing. "I even thought about your braids. You wore it differently there. But then I realized why, and couldn't believe I hadn't thought about that. There, you were known, braids or not. Now, you have to show your rank somehow… and you never were one to wear a circlet unless required."
"I wasn't as much against it until you came…"
Her head tilted up, her body tense for a moment, before her eyes closed and the tension seeped away. "Because I wouldn't marry you and so wear one, and you wouldn't want to be above me," she sighed. "Valar, Egola! How long were you going to let this go on?"
"You were finding your way, on a journey I couldn't help you with." He swallowed, seeing the worry stone in her hand. "Lunian, my love, please—"
"How many years would have passed before you just gave in? How long could you have held onto me, without actually being able to do so?" She finally turned to see him, and paled, stepping backwards when she saw he was dressed as he usually had been—in her past life, in all her memories of her lover. "Legolas," she breathed, a soft plea.
"You were remembering this morning, love. I was going to help."
"Or make me believe my mind had decided to go back to the rest of Middle-Earth and had left me stranded here all alone!" She took a deep breath, before slowly approaching him, reaching up to touch the Mirkwood styled tunic. "You never wore this in this life. Why?"
"I didn't want to have you mixing memories. I did not want you to forever believe we had been merely friends then."
"Yet you said and did everything you could to avoid such a thought." She sighed, lifting a hand to her temple. She laughed softly, a tear slipping from her eye. "All the times you nearly called me your love, but changed it to lady. All the times your eyes darkened when I treated you as an uncle, cousin or friend alone… or nearly turned black when I almost crossed the line into something else. Every phrase from memory you barely altered… you wanted me to know… but you didn't want to tell me."
"Of course I did," he replied softly. "I went to the edge of death too many times to record for loving you. It's torture to be so close to you, and yet be unable to call you my love, unable to touch you as I did for so long… to have to hide what I feel—or the intensity of it—and to look in your eyes and see nothing but friendship…"
"Not that it was any better when I fell in love with you. Again."
He smiled faintly. "Not many elves can say their love fell for them twice."
She let out a half sob, finally looking up to his still less than bright eyes. "I think we've shared a bit too much pain for you to call yourself lucky," she managed.
He smiled tenderly, brushing his fingers beneath her eyes. "You remember me?"
"If not everything, more than enough. Decades of wandering gardens, of snuggling into your arms, watching your eyes glaze in sleep before closing my own…" she closed her eyes, a small smile appearing on her lips.
"You love me?"
"More than life," she answered at once.
"Then I am very lucky, Lunian. More than lucky, blessed. My love has returned to me from death."
She opened her eyes, reaching up to cup his cheek in one palm. "In a way, so has mine. How long did you wander, Egola?"
"Long enough all but a select few had lost hope." He let his hands sink into her hair, tilting her head reflexively, before loosening his hold.
She chuckled, reaching up to tickle him lightly in his most ticklish spot—right behind his ears. Also, if rubbed slowly, they were his most politely accessible erogenous areas… exceeded only by the tips of his ears. "I didn't. I only faintly remember that."
"What?" he asked distractedly, tilting his head into her touch.
"Waiting for you to come. I know I did, and I faintly remember it. Most of that is very vague, though."
"It's not important," he murmured.
She smiled. "No." She tilted her head at him, running her fingers down the identical braids just behind his ears. "Legolas," she murmured, looking up at him.
He smiled, nodding his head. "Yes, love," he agreed, closing the scant distance between him to give her the first true kiss they had shared since her death… unless one counted the small kiss she had given him when he first came west.
Lunian sighed into the kiss, melting against him. The tender longing in it shook her to the core, even as she felt the threat of the old passion rising within her. It seemed odd, to know his kiss so well, to know what to expect of his touch, to know how to touch him intimately… when her hands had never touched any fully unclad male. Even more odd was how much she wanted, needed his touch. She shook her head slightly.
"What, love?"
She chuckled. "Lovers long parted… one who is still rather innocent, and would have been quite naïve…"
He smiled, tucking his head against hers, letting their ear tips come together. He chuckled when she gasped and stiffened against him with the sensation that tender touch provoked. "There will be some… changes."
"Mmm," she agreed on a small moan. She found herself focusing fully on every small kiss to her neck, her shoulder… "Egola?"
"Hmm?"
"Could you remind me what happened the night light came back into your heart?" she asked quietly.
"Love… we are living it."
She quirked a brow, trying to glare but failing miserable. Finally she laughed. "Legolas! That's not what you said you—"
He kissed her soundly, only lifting his head when she was pliant in his arms. "Valar how I missed this," he murmured, molding her to him.
"Legolas—"
She was glaring when he lifted his head. He chuckled softly. "You are elven now, my love."
"So?" she asked, blankly.
"So… merely let your soul meet mine."
Her eyes widened, before closing, a pained look flickering over her face.
He frowned at her response, having expected something a bit more… enthusiastic, to say the least. "Lunian?"
"I was never told exactly about that. I never knew… never considered it even in retrospect."
"What?"
"Your soul was forever reaching for mine, wasn't it?"
He let out a soft sigh, but nodded. "Yes, love. That, and your lifespan were the elven traits I always wished you could have received from your mother."
She sighed as well, before kissing him and looking back at the water. She looked down at her hand, slowly opening her loose fist to show a familiar stone. She traced the silvery lines in the grey stone, before forming a fist around it once more, only to toss it as far away as she could. When her arm returned to her side, the stone's arching path dropped it down into the middle of the pond. "Ulmo can have it back," she whispered softly.
Legolas closed his eyes, breathing in air which suddenly seemed so much lighter, so full of life. He kissed the hand he held, drawing her with him to his room. Once under the covers, face to face, she reached up, brushing a piece of hair his braids had missed away from his face. She smiled contentedly, seeing bright sapphire eyes once more.
He kissed her languidly for a time, his thumb arching soothingly over the skin of her neck and shoulder. When she yawned, he chuckled, kissing her once more before moving to his back, shifting so he had her tugged over him. She curled up to him easily, her head on his shoulder, hand over his heart, legs entwined with his. He kissed her crown. "Sleep well, my love," he whispered, before letting himself drift into his much desired rest.
Lunian smiled at hearing that out loud again after so long. She snuggled a little closer, laughing softly when she put one last piece into place. One she hadn't even been aware of missing. He didn't sleep as well without her, which was why he always fell asleep when with her. She kissed the material beneath her cheek, smiling as she felt the old, familiar texture of his well worn tunic. The style had always been her favorite on him.
