Chapter 6

Going home

Tomo- sempai let himself in, collapsed into the sofa. It had been a taxing performance, and the renters of the space had not yet been settled about the bills. He was worried about being unable to pay them. Money wasn't coming in too well recently. He got up after a bit, deciding on having a shower. It would reduce his stress.

Kenni came when he opened the door, getting his bath towel. He coughed violently. "Are you all right?"

He was going to be snappy, then remembered what Bern had told him. Kenni took his arm. "I'm tired. Want to have a bath, then sleep. Help me get my clothes. Thank you." She watched him step into the bathroom, wore his slippers before leaving him. Coughing punctuated the sounds of the water running.

"Got your stuff! So what do I do with them?"

"Put them at the door." His hand reached out to retrieve the T shirt and shorts. Interesting, Kenni smiled, how would he react to wearing shorts? It was funny. Tomo cried out. He stepped out, hair dripping, his form simmering wetness, scowling. Wearing the black shorts. "Why did you get me these?"

"Coz you don't have any more pants. Silly, want to have a drink first?"

He grumbled, scrubbing his wet hair, seating himself. His bare white skin was smooth and only a few scars showed from the treatments he had gotten. Precisely why he didn't like to wear shorts. At home it was ok, she thought. Tomo slipped one arm through his T shirt sleeve, pulling it over his head. It shouted 'World Peace'! Finely arched eyebrows were narrowed, making him immortalized, but he was a jaded man.

"Kenni, thanks. You shouldn't run too much, rest. I can do some things myself." He sipped on the tea. "Not everything is ok. I'm stressed. Saito will handle it though. Right? The doc said I mustn't think so complicated."

Kennex wished he would just follow the advice. He pulled out the oxygen mask, took a whiff of it and laid back. The other day he was angry about losing his privacy to the media. Despite Hirosaki requesting they leave him alone and not ask for an interview they had come to the house. He locked himself in. The reporters only left 50 minutes later. Tomo had curled up in a ball at his bed, totally stressed out and hyperventilating. He almost slapped her when she moved closer.

They had to leave him alone until he had calmed down. He hadn't pushed her away, gratefully he held her closer, much to her surprise.

The boy who was her idol was so weak, despite showing a firm, strong front. She wanted him to spill his guts but she was actually lucky she managed to get this much from him. Normally he would be silent and take a nap. Tomo removed his oxygen supply, resting his head so he was face to face with her. "Why did you tease me? Want to be little girl again?"

"Yeah, I kind of miss those times. Don't be angry."

"No..... [sigh] I miss those carefree times too. My dad would give us baobing remember? They made them so well, so naturally. Now the supermarket's bing are so artificial. [took her hand and studied it absently] You should be resting your hands. That is why I don't want you onstage making your hands rough from wielding knives. You could get hurt. Cooking is more suited. You would trip on your long dress. Ah! And you like the soldier's role most," he murmured happily, smiling. The lady's heart fluttered. He loves me! I'm not mistaken at all.

"Uh huh, but you never let me act. Except once I became the little princess. Too many lines.... I almost forgot, Bern's letter! Here. It came this morning. I'm glad you and her hit it off so well."

Tomo flung back his bangs, squinting at the cursive handwriting on the envelope. He smiled, slipping it into his black book. It was the list of contacts. "Um, are you jealous?" he asked making her offguard.

"What? Why would you think so?" his sis replied flustered.

"I read in one article, women don't show their jealousy, hey what the---I know. Just joking. I'm going to have a nap now. Don't make me wake up too suddenly." He curled up on the couch and closed his ambers. Inside he was worrying the issues of his health and his body's tendency to break down. It took a big effort to control his facial muscles not to break out into full panic. Kenni is my sister, I must not worry her so much. I must be a responsible brother to the girl. She's stressed out too.

Memories

When she had acted onstage his heart had ached for more. She was just too perfect. A natural at memorizing lines. And her voice was flawless, able to hold the high notes without going out of tune. Sure his father always felt girls shouldn't be allowed onstage but Tomo liked Kennex's acting. She just quit when his dad died. Wouldn't continue even at his encouragement. He didn't probe.

Maybe she was too upset about his death? Women were very emotional, unbelievably emotional. There'd been no tears, only at the funeral, and news of the cancer always made her worry. Suddenly Tomo snapped awake, heart throbbing his chest. His medical report! It was supposed to arrive this week. He eased himself up, feeling dizzy. If Kenni knew, she was going to nag again.

At last the headache stopped, Tomo scanned the tables for other envelopes. A plain white one for the bills. Orange one......... "Hey!"

"What? Didn't you sleep? Gave me a shock."

"Did you get any more letters for me?" Tomo told her anxiously. She shook her head. He didn't believe her. Frowned at her. She put both hands out in a placating gesture. "Are you sure?"

"Sure," the lady sighed, wiping the table again. Tomo rolled his eyes. Maybe he could call the doctor, damn, he should have asked him to send it in a confidential report. Then she wouldn't read it, he was very harsh to whoever opened his private stuff. I wish I can be open about it. Yet, I know she will be nagging and nagging, which I just loathe.

He went in his room and shut the door. Cool, a letter for me. Bern said she would come and visit but she hadn't yet. It had been a month since they last met. It was rushed because he had to travel to another place. A matter of half an hour. She'd just given him a lucky talisman to pin on. Tomo was touched, he did not like to wear them but he loved to collect them special stuff. He'd asked her not to worry too much and stay positive. Bern was a lovely child, naïve and yet mature. Sometimes he was talking not to a twelve year old but an equal. It was a blessing. Tomo hugged his checkered cushion and closed his eyes. Even if I die, I'll be contented. But I don't want to die yet, I've not finished doing what I want. Tears trickled silently.

He hurriedly grabbed a tissue and swabbed them away. I must not pity myself. I've got a lot of people who care about me. I'm not dying yet! I know it.

Hidden at the back of his bookshelf was a will. A draft. Did not want to touch it, coz it stank of death. Hirosaki didn't want to think about it, hurt too much. Broke his aching heart. Everytime he was in despair, he'd read and reread it, fearing he would just drop dead suddenly, not a chance to bid goodbye. This was too dark a subject even for his young friend. No one must know. Reluctantly he slipped out the crumpled paper. Willed his father's land to be sold, his mother's jewellery, he still had not decided who to pass the troupe's leadership to. Man, it gave a migraine. Alan his manager was better at these stuff, he knew lawyers. Tomo needed to chat with one. He needed someone to discuss with.

The door opened. Tomo squashed it under his black book guiltily. "Can I clean your room?"

"Yeah."

His sister swept up invisible dust and picked up his casting clothes. He searched for an envelope to put his will, it mustn't fall into the wrong hands. "Why are you so white? Something wrong?"

"No! I mean, I'm exhausted. I was just falling asleep," he corrected, lying down, shoving the paper into a drawer and closed it. No I won't look at it again. Meanwhile,......

Saito was having a harder and harder time claming down in front of the proud and strutting peacock Touga. He didn't stick to the script and loved making the fans scream for encores, waving, blowing them kisses. So disgusting! He wanted to just bash him up. whenever he got back, Tomo acted sullen, ignoring him completely Ignoring also what he was saying. It provoked the big man so much he goaded him,

"No doubt you trust the little one more than me. I'm your brother, you don't even care! Huh? I've gotta run so many things about the troupe. Touga, I told you he's a good-for-nothing brat. [Hirosaki you ungrateful ototochan!]" The jing actor just nonchalantly sighed, picked some string off his cushion. He laid on his belly. Engrossed in a nature magazine. "Bewitched."

"I'm not. I just treat her like my sister, a friend. There is nothing wrong."

"Nothing? Don't gimme that, you're soft hearted too long. You got yourself into this state because you didn't wan to resign completely. You now you can't overstrain yourself. Now see? You'e a wreck!"

Tomo scowled at the lecture, flushed. Lips white. "AND we wanna help you, so we go to temple and pray. You won't accept our help, claiming we want to convert you. As if we would! You're too stubborn for this."

"Shut UP," the younger man hissed, sitting up.

"Don't tell Me to shut up."

"You have no right to comment!" Tomo retorted a little loudly, upright and pale, except for his cheeks "I didn't get sick because I like acting. You love to rake up the past don't you? I perform too much is that right? This is my life and I will perform to the end! Bernadette is My Friend, stop being biased against her." The words hung in the air between the two men. Tomo gasped for breath, anger and hurt and resentment coursing through his body. Plus he didn't ask to be sick why didn't anyone spare him this blow? Saito glared, purple from restraining his arm for a slap. Then the young man's form went limp, he dropped his book and keeled over. Almost, Saito had stepped forward to grasp him, support him.

Pure agony & bedridden

"Call the doc! Kenni, hurry!" No reply. "Tomo, lie still. What is it?"

"No... need," the patient whispered feebly. Tomo was shocked at his sudden drainage of energy. His vision was blackening.

"Does it hurt?" Rough calloused fingers brushed his forehead for fever. He got sweat. Hirosaki coughed, screwing up his visage, whimpering.

"Yeah, but... not ... much.... Do not call... I feel better." Really it was scary to wake up in hospital. Last time he lay there felt like the angel of death was about to receive him. Tears prickled at the sides, but too much agony stopped him from weeping. "I was agitated."

"I'm sorry, Tomo. I shouldn't have gone mad at you. It's gonna be alright. We'll call a doctor to make sure." The patient's breathing was labored, he wavered between shock and cold, and haziness. Then he sucked in a gasp, tightening his hold on Saito's arm. He couldn't hear. Please, please I don't want to faint. Please don't make me faint yet.

Where is the darn doctor? Kenni shrugged, telling them she would ind the painkillers.

At one point Hirosaki screamed, rising from his lying down on the couch. His brother pressed him down, pressed him still. A fast heaving chest and white little face told Saito he was going to succumb, soon. Sweat beaded on the sides of his face, his lips struggled to speak but he couldn't.

"Where are the painkillers?" Saito yelled

"No No! Won't take...." He closed his eyes, diving into unconsciousness once more, he gripped Saito's arm in a wretched stronghold.

"Get a grip, now isn't the time to argue. QUICK!" The artist was too much in delirium now, gritting his teeth as a fresh wave spread paralyzing him in its relentless grip. "She's here." They pried open his lips and slipped a pill on his tongue. Coaxed to drink. Tomo sipped. Another wave of pain struck. His grip hardened on the hold of Saito's fingers. Hours later, the agony slipped from him as a fish out of water. His vision was getting less black, now he could see colour.

"OK now?" Both of them echoed, lowering him down. He nodded. Bow his ex classmate came into view, allowing the patient to grasp his hand now.

"We'll get those soaked clothes away from you hm?"

"Tired..."

"Yeah we'll help." Tomo trembled from extreme poor health and sudden iciness. Bow was the only guy who kept in touch with Tomo and always came when he Most needed someone to standby. He recommended many renouned cancer specialists to examine him. Tomo silently fingered his friend's shoulder until he was too exhausted to keep awake and slipped away into another world.

Two days passed wih Hirosaki completely bedded. It was so bad. He needed painkillers every hour, otherwise he would scream like a crazy man. Kenni cried often. Then he gradually was able to get up with some help, bathe away his body odour of lying in his sweat! and eat dinner by himself seated up in bed. It was lucky Bern hadn't chosen to come coz Tomo didn't want her to see him in such a derelict state. The actor always liked to look his best. Definitely not now.

Initially he thought he would panic, had to totally forget about leaving his bed. It was so agonizing to eat, he puked everything as soon as he had. It left a bitter aftertaste. His classmate cleaned him up, rushed him to the restroom if possible to hold it in. Kenni also was a wonderful help. The actor felt so grateful for their assistance.

"You must go back to your work, Bow. Your work must not be neglected."

"I can't. I'll stay with you to make sure you're all right. What if something happened?"

Tomo smiled pushing his checker forward. Bow short for Benedict, and the nick was because of his anchor chain from his chest. "Then how about it?"

"Closed a deal. Lots of money to spend now. [guffawed] and relax! Want to move this way? Sure?"

"Sure whatever. Can't hope to win you. You're the Brain. Too kind to me."

"you will be lonely. Do not deny. I know how hurt you get when people don't return your kindness. Too much! You're always so considerate, yet they can't even come and help, what are friends for?" his friend grumbled, wiping Tomo's sweat with a cloth. The patient perspired a lot though the room was air conditioned.

"Acting is busy. I myself do not know what time is what. That's ok, they must be busy too. [shifted his Bishop forward] tell you about my acting. I make good profit on the weekends and days fully booked. Happy! My present understudy is taking my role, he's good, but, not humble." Hirosaki sneezed, tossing raven shiny hair behind his shoulder, wishing he could tie it up and it would stay up. "It'd be better if he were. I'll see how it goes. He himself may feel the great impact if he's still like this later on."

Bow watched quietly. If only they could exchange their health for his. Kennex secretly called him when Tomo slept so he could come. Otherwise the actor would insist he not come. Everytime he came, Tomo seemed even worse, ........ from actively running about he was reduced to a bedridden patient. The really bad days, Tomo named them, laughing. Now Hirosaki had stopped believing in the doctors, preferring to rest in his home. It wasn't wise to push him, though it might do some good to.

"Happy birthday."

"Over already. Thank you for this. What is it....." Bow smiled, saying this to console him for he noticed the sadness and crestfallen look on his friend's pale features. "Cool! It fits nicely. Thanks so much. You give me lovely gifts!"

"Weeeell, a Libra has excellent fashion taste," Tomo replied, laid back his head abruptly drained. Even talking was tiring.