Disclaimer: I don't own FFX. You can make your own smart-arse line here.
The Thoughts and Ruminations of Rikku
Ya know, he looked like a real hero, back lit by the setting sun, the wind blustering through his hair, making his long coat gently flutter behind him. You could almost imagine a soft, benevolent smile gracing his lips.
Apart from he was Auron, and he don't do smiling. He don't do much with that mug of his. Except frowning, which he was now indulging in. And aiming it in my general direction. Okay, I've been staring at him, but that's not the point. Yunie and Lulu stare at him a whole bunch, and he doesn't even notice. I think. Other wise he would have a smug look about him. Tidus stares at him too, but it's much more of a pondering look. Tidus probably believes that Unsent are like Zombies. It would explain why he cast Life on him earlier. I knew Yunie teaching him White Magic was a bad idea. But did she listen to her wise, learned, cousin? Do Guado crap in the Moonflow? Eeeww… hope not. Otherwise Yunie is cooking with diluted Guado poop.
You'd think being on the run would be more exciting, wouldn't you? All we've done is sit by the Moonflow, and watched Warrior Monks scoot by. If you have an image of the entire motley crew sitting in the open, you're horribly mistaken. We're all squeezed onto a tiny bank hidden by some trees, just before the road turns off towards Djose.
And Ye Olde Guy is on the creatively dubbed 'Look Out Rock'. Can you guess what you do when you're standing on it? The clue's in the name.
And, I hear you cry, why is our favourite young heroine on the run? Because Maester Mika decided to snuff it, that's why. And who was in his presence when he joined the Choir Invisable? The happy munchkins that you see before you. So who does the blame get put on? Us! Gee whiz, aren't we lucky? According to the rumours we killed all four Maesters! Except not. I'll have you know we only killed one, and we were cleansing the gene-pool of an arrogant, butt-ugly murderer.
They should be sending us flowers and money and stuff. NOT trying to make us like Auron. Charming as he is, I have no intention of ending up a grumpy Unsent. I can think of things I'd rather do with my after-life, being in the Farplane topping the list.
I look glumly at the pair of claws in my hands. We're kinda low on the items I need to customize weapons with. So bye-bye my only past time. I've polishing these ones, 'cos they still had Lupine slime on them. Although they mostly burst into Pryeflies, they can leave this lovely ooze over the spoils. Blood stays too, sometimes, just to join the fun.
And the male half of our little group always find it necessary to get covered in it, the slime too, come to think of it. It must be some sort of macho thing. 'Haha I have been slimed more then you. Bow to my messiness.' Typa thing. Men can be so weird. And they have the cheek to complain about us. PMS, that's all you need to know about to understand the mood swings. Though I'm kinda glad only we get it. A PMSing Auron would be too much to handle. I giggled at the thought of him having periods, and everyone looked at me as if I mad. You're not far of the truth, sadly, guys.
I bet your wondering we're not holed up nice and cosy on Pops Airship. Well, being the sterling male role model in my life, he couldn't find us. Bevelle ain't that hard to find, you know? But hey, hey, if life gives you lemons make lemonade. So we acted like the true courageous people we are and ran like bats outta hell. Imagine doing that for two days and you've round about got what we've been doing. Until Yunie took the reigns from Mr. Sociable and said that we will stop for the day, whilst glaring at afore mentioned Guardian. Amazing how Yunie can get her own way with him. Mind you, a mad Yunie is something you don't want to tangle with, especially since she has Bahamut on her side. Plus I can only imagine how much it would hurt to get the Rod of Wisdom whacked into the boy bits. Not fun.
Ah, I see Kimahri's trying to take over watch duty. Oooh, that had to hurt.
Someone should tell Kimahri to learn his own strength, 'cos I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to shove Auron off the top of the rock…
And someone should wash Auron's mouth out with soap. That was a lesson in profanity, if I ever heard one. Sorry Pops, I think you've just been toppled as king in that area. Lulu will probably give him a lecture on swearing, now. Yep, there she goes. Oh she's concerned about my young ears, I'm flattered. Though I'm pretty sure I've heard most of them. Hehe, Auron's beginning to blush. How cute, he looks like he did in the sphere when Uncle Braska gave him an earful. I wonder if his noticed Tidus and Yunie are beginning to giggle at his expence. Yep, he just shot death glare in their direction. Shame it doesn't work when you're blushing, Aurrie old chum.
Lulu's done now, I think. She's just standing the, hands on hips, giving Auron a superior look. What? Why is he coming over here? No, go away, I don't want El Grumpo for company. Eeer… Why are you apologising? Ooh, are you doing this 'cos you're scared of Lulu? Okay, wrong thing to say. I wouldn't try and leave pal, she's staring at you like a hawk. And not in her normal 'Barely Concealed Crush' way, either. It's more like she's gonna rip your head off and spit down the hole.
Yes, alright, I except your apology now go away and do Legendary Guardian things... Or you could just sit beside me and sulk; I guess that works too, being the mature adult that you are. Look, Kimahris is getting told off too, be happy. Okay, that's just funny. Lulu's made Kimahri come over and apologise to Auron. I love Lulu for this sole reason. I think Lulu is finding this funny too, she doing that weird wheezy noise she does one she's trying not to laugh. Or that really is her laugh, and in that case, it's really freaky.
Our favourite feline has trundled back to the Rock of Looking Out, and Auron looks slightly stunned. Auron, you are Yunie's Guardian. It's strange when something relatively normal happens to us, you should know this by now. Unless you're Tidus or Wakka, because then you have the excuse of not being the sharpest crayon in the box.
Ah, food, thank you Yunie. Eeer, what is it? Surprise Soup? What's the surprise? Oh I see. Tidus put the ingredients together. So do you know what's lurking in there? You don't know, hence, Surprise Soup. Yeah, I gotcha now. Auron's stirring it with a slightly dubious expression. You and me both brother.
I start poking at a larger lump of matter floating in the liquid. Wakka's eating it, and hasn't keeled over. At least I know it's not lethal. Right, come on Rikku, put some it in your mouth. And spit out. Bleugh, Yunie never let Tidus near food stuffs ever again! I think that answered the question 'Do Guado crap in the Moonflow' adequately. Auron, you can stuff your table manners, you haven't tried it yet. Yes, that's it, you attempt to eat some. Soup goes in… soup goes out. Understand now, you big goofball?
Yunie must be made of sterner stuff then I gave her credit for. She's quite merrily slurping the stuff down. What're you looking at me like that for? His not eating it either! Geez, just because you crush big time on him. Anyway, you're with Tidus, so keep your roving eyes in check, thank-you. That goes to you too, Lulu. Yes, I know what you and Wakka get up to. Oh, the blackmail value of that information. I must've let a few spastic cackles loose, because Auron is now looking slightly nervous. And with very good reason. Buddy, you chose to sit next to me, so you have no-one to blame but your grumpy self.
You know, I think this soup can return from whence it came. Back to the Moonflow, oh dinner of mine! Don't kill any fishes on the way! Oh crid ib, all of you. You'll be doing it soon enough. If you'll excuse me, I want to get my bedroll ready before any of the local wildlife start snoozing in it. Or fellow Guardians. Or Summoners. No, Yunie, I haven't forgiven you for that. No I will not stop beating a dead Shoopuf. This Shoopuf's far from dead, baby.
Mmm, this bedroll is darn comfy. I think I've woken up at the time that life forgot. Except Wakka, but his on watch, so he doesn't count. Oh great Aeons! Auron, I may be your comrade at arms, heck, maybe even your friend, but that does not mean you can use me as a pillow, you cad! Whoa, you have serious bed hair. It's even spikier at the front then normal. C'mon move that noggin of yours. I would move you myself, but, you know, you are lying on my arms!
Have you ever noticed how men's heads are substantially bigger then women's? Well here's another titbit of info: there goddarn heavier too. They must have more mucus or something, 'cos from the examples I've met so far, I'm positive it isn't grey matter. No, don't make yourself comfier you jerk! Argh, you are so gonna get it tomorrow. And if this sparks off rumours, you are going to be so very, very dead. Oh shit, you are dead aren't you? Well… I'll put an Electro Marble down your pants. That'll even it out, you buubriyt.
But the more immediate problem: Rikku cannot feel her arms and tummy. I do a little wriggly dance in my bed roll, but to no avail. Geez, when this guy goes to sleep, he does it properly. How the hell do people wake him up for his watch slot? Cast Water on him? Only if you're Lulu I guess. Everyone else would go for the more conventional bucket. Okay, Rikku, stop making up unlikely scenarios of people dousing Auron in water. Think woman.
Heh, he hasn't got his collar or shades on. Well, duh, he would sleep with them on. Heey… his kind of lida… No! Quiet foul, traitorous, hormones! Ugh, were are plenty of times you could play up, but you have to choose now, don't you tysh ed!
I hate being a teenager. You'd think the zits would be enough, but nooo, Mother Nature gives you over active hormones just to add to the fun. Old cow. I bet she didn't have to go through this. She probably went from kiddy, to brilliant, mature, beautiful woman with about one day as teenager. And I bet she didn't have any men using her as a pillow, either.
I silently prayed that Wakka hadn't noticed. This would blow my blackmail fodder out of the water.
This whole situation is completely Auron's fault. Much like if we find that there is actually no alternative way to beat Sin, it's Auron's fault, he killed Yunaleska after all. Well, alright, we all helped a little, but it was Auron who Bushidoed her tooshie to the Farplane, not us.
Yes, that Electro Marble will be making it's way to his pants in the morning…
A/N: This is my first character POV, so feed back would be handy! I also want to know if people want more of this fic. It's only meant to be a one shot, but it's open ended, so I can carry on if there's call for it.
