Chapter 11
Author's note:
Dedicated to all persevering/industrious artistes in the industry, music, performances, and so on , Without your efforts, there wouldn't be great entertainment to pay tribute to. I have always admired people who can create, muster, and professionally devote themselves to the making of good fictions, music and masterpieces. Here's to all whose dreams are almost disappearing,
Don't give up! There will be appreciation for your talents somehow. And do support budding and coming of age writers.
Sincerely, Reina S.
Emergency
Bernadette stood outside the strange new room, where the nurse said her best friend would be, receiving important treatment. It was a white windowless room. The white figure emerged at last and behind him was Tomo, sleeping on a stretcher. Kenni took his hand as they wheeled him to the elevators.
Her heart ached, to speak with him, not see him ill any longer or dying. Like ages ago, they'd become friends, she'd seen him at a live performance, been to his house, shared many present memories. Too present for this to be happening, too surreal.
How could Tomo-sempai die, when he was just twenty two? He was way too young! For the first time Bern was angry at God, why he didn't support his child? She felt bad after a while and prayed for forgiveness, crying.
Meaningless was a bag of sweets and books packed especially for her idol to cheer him up. If she got to see him at all, he might not have the energy to speak or eat.
Recently due to movement from room to room and sessions of isolation for Tomo to recuperate, Bern hardly got through any form of comfort. The closest was seeing him from a glass panel. The patient breathed laboriously through a respiratory system, coughing, in agony most of the time. Bernadette could speak to him with the mike they provided outside but it felt stupidly mechanical. Tomo sempai was always in the greatest agony visibly fighting infections and viruses. Kenni was allowed inside for 5 to 10 minutes because she was a family member. Now, could she go in?
The nurse asked if she was family. Maybe it won't hurt to not be truthful, you'll understand God. "I'm his daughter," and proud of this because it was half true, Tomo's wish anyway. Bern braced herself and walked towards the figures at the long end of the room.
Kennex smiled feebly, talked to her fiancé and kissing his cheek, stroked his hand. "He's tired. Don't take too long. Thank you," she turned and said almost curtly.
Tomo blinked, reached for her hand. Bern saw his lips move but no sound came out behind the mask. She shook her head. "Don't talk. You must rest. I couldn't see you for so long. I missed you."
He squeezed her hard, swallowing, jerking his head slightly. The visitor came closer to hear his words. "…..so glad….. it's great to see… you…. Bern. I'm not…. scared… anymore…how are you? "
He stopped to take breath, and released her hand. Then a tranquil, non panicked expression blossomed over his ebony white face.
She comprehended. Tears began anew, and she felt his fingers run through her hair. I don't want you to go! You're too young. I'm scared now, we all are. You've given up already. Don't, don't!! How can you let us down? You can't!
The announcement for time's- up ringed out vaguely. Her friend sat up a little and cupped her face in his icy hands. They gazed into each other's eyes. He seemed to console her not to fear his death. But her grief was unbearable and she cried into his shoulder.
Tomo wanted to console his young friend not to cry so much. It would affect her health. But he had hardly any breath left. He chose his words to convey his meaning succinctly,
"I'm sorry… don't cry too much. .... please,"
"You can't die. Not yet!" she choked, sniffling. "I like you so much!"
Then she had to be dragged out, reluctantly. Tomo laid back, weakness spreading through him. He hated to burden anyone, and because of this, many people were crying. He heard that his fans wanted to bust into the hospital to visit him but were denied access. His body protested to the drugs administered, he was allergic. Sustained a heart failure yesterday and had to be admitted into the ICU. He prayed through cracked lips for the pain to stop, for the mental endurance he would require.
Gradually the artist passed into the world beyond, a floating whiteness. Free of pain.
Outside: Chaos and Human effort
Alan stopped some of the crazy people trying to fight their way through into the hospital. He announced that the singer needed to sleep and he was not to be disturbed. That didn't move any of them, except spur them on to become more aggressive. So was the press hounding them, pictures flashing into his eyes, mikes pushed into his view, Kenni was angry. She yelled at them to leave her fiancé alone.
"He's going to die ok? Ok?? Are you satisfied? BASTARDS!! " she snarled. Hands flung up and down in dramatic gesture. The fans stopped, started to cry, some were looking on in disbelief. The rest shouted, shoved the nurses and policemen. One youngish girl, perhaps 16, reached out to hug the woman to comfort her. Everyone of every race began to pray. Of course the policemen managed to suppress the riot and formed a human blockade.
Support rendered flowed like a river. The fans of Tomo-sempai raised funds for the medical fees, which were very expensive. The money was gratefully accepted, the medical team was so touched they would have reduced the fees were it not because of the costly medicines and X-rays. Phone calls, cards, letters of empathy and compassion poured into his family. Kenni and Saito marveled at how supportive the human race could be. Sometimes, when all is lost, actually individuals step out to help someone in anguish or poor or lost. It's quite amazing.
There were not supposed to be visitors allowed into the isolation chamber. This meant little or no moral support for the cancer sufferer. However he could see messages of encouragement pressed to the panel. Sometimes the nurse noticed his hand lifting up to wave.
The news, magazines, Internet gave updates everyday about his condition. Some rumours were scary, gossiping about the doubtful recovery. Bernadette was disheartened by their perverted wishes. She couldn't concentrate on her studies. She received his last letter before he became worse. Now she re read it. How could this be happening? It asked her how she was, he would look forward to celebrate the birthday he'd missed, spoke also of having a Christmas reunion. That time, November 1st, was Tomo's better period. Unfortunately she hadn't visited him.
You must be so hurt, Tomo chan. I'm so sorry…. If I'd known…..
Felicia, her best friend, hugged her and said, "Come on, nothing bad will happen, it's just a trial for him, I saw him perform on November 11, he seemed in the peak of his health then. The last year? He recovered eventually."
"But now is different, Felicia. And we are supposed to be there for each other. I failed, I couldn't, I cried in front of him."
"It's alright. You did the best thing, gal. You were emotional. Tomo sempai must be so touched at your concern. Not to mention everybody's too. He will triumph."
Bernadette held her friend close, grateful she was a more positive character than herself. It was necessary. "Thank you so much."
Stranger's welcome
"Tomo chan, outside everybody is trying their best to help you. They're raising funds, calling to offer help, see, they sent you some gifts too. The food you can consume when you're better. Don't give up, for me, for everybody who's outside. Please?" Kennex pleaded as she took his little hand and cried. Cold, ice drops trickled down his arm. The patient nodded, smiling. "Then that's good. You can understand me."
He turned his head a bit. Someone had come from behind. A blond haired girl. "Hi," he croaked.
"Hey Tomo. I'm your cousin, I tried to take the first flight out when I heard the news of your worsening condition. The damn flight schedules were mixed up! I know you don't remember me, I don't think you can, at this point." The patient frowned. What cousin? The hair was actually highlighted blond, she spoke to him softly, soothingly, explaining scenes of his previous kindness when he gave her mum an extra performance, even though his schedule was up. He had cheered his aunt up. Even though they barely knew each other.
Her name was…..
"Sarah?" the frown dissipated and the patient seemed more alert.
"Tomo-san, this is, you've got such a lovely girl here," she drawled, noticing the other companion. Tomo smiled in response. She helped him to get another blanket and fluff up the pillows. Somehow he summoned the strength to thank them
On his behalf Sarah related this message. Fans cheered. If he recovered, she'd be able to get together with him. Shame nagged her heart, the reason being the last time they'd lived together, she'd often gotten into fights and drunk. Tomo sempai would reprimand her. How naïve she had been then, just enjoying life. Ignoring the people's needs around her. It was her cousin who was the most affected when she'd run off.
"I am sorry, cousin. Real foolish I had been," she told him in his room. Tomo coughed and shook his head. His hand was like a stick figure, bony. "What is it?"
"I'm happy. At least, before I die, we can reconcile…. I forgive you…. Why didn't… you inform me?"
"I ran to Hilary's place. I hated your nagging. You must get well, you won't die. Come on!" Sarah affirmed, almost annoyed. When did Hirosaki become so soft, what happened to his fire for life? "I admired you. Don't let me down."
"It's… not changed… except that…. I.. have… become calmer. Sarah, I'm glad we got to .. talk. You've... matured, I feel.... proud."
She hugged him hard and forced the tears back, hearing his harsh breathing and noticing the falling hair. Regrets................The only thing she'd done was make him more relaxed and sleep better. "Tomo san you'll get better. Don't pretend you didn't hear me k?"
The next day, since his condition stabilized he was transferred to a normal ward. The same room he'd first checked into. Bernadette came in, with his cousin talking away. She'd always been the most extroverted person. Hirosaki missed her when she went missing. "Hey Cousin! You look cool today,"
Tomo smiled weakly and shook their hands, visitors' gloves. He laid his head back and sighed. It was easier to breathe now they'd drained his lungs of the excess fluid. But it wouldn't be permanent.
"Tomo chan, I want to apologize for not coming to visit you when you were better then. I... "
He reached out and pressed her lips. "No, it's ok." His voice a leaf scratching the glass pane, it hurt and made him gasp to talk.
"Anyway did you see the get well cards? My class made one for you too." The singer coughed, taking the big card to have a look. He nodded, showed the thumbs up sign. "We really want to hug you to encourage, but they won't allow us too much contact. Sorry," Sarah added, coming to stand at his shoulder.
Bern looked uncomfortable as the silence stretched. His cousin was the filler of the gaps, Tomo wrote slowly on paper. I can't speak, damn the treatments. What a difference from the voice I've sustained during long hours of stage plays.
When I am well, we will go out together ok? I promise you.
In his mind, he thought, 'you don't seem to have faith in me.'
His soulmate quickly turned away to leave when it was time. Why didn't she turn around to wave goodbye? Hirosaki felt piqued and rang the bell. "Yeah, um, see ya," she seemed cold, abrupt.
Coma
The singer was unable to respire. It was a cold morning. The last nurse on shift hadn't come back from the toilet. He grabbed for the button but couldn't reach it. Blackness swam like a fogginess.
Saito was devastated to hear the news that Tomo had lapsed into semi coma. He rushed immediately on the fastest cab. When he got there, the patient flickered his eyes.
"Tomo, ototo, don't.... don't do this. Hang in there," he whispered hotly, feeling stupid. Who was the older one now? He sank to his knees and sobbed, gripping the smooth white fingers.
"My Onii chan, older brother....... tell... tell them.... I'm sorry...." the parched and bloodless lips uttered. He had hung on.
"NOOOO! Doc Doc come quickly!" Saito shouted, rushing out to the dimly lit hallways. People strolled past like ghosts. The tears gushed forth. For all the times he had taken for granted.
8
