Disclaimer: I do not own FFX. The 'We have arrived etc.' line belongs to Doogle from the Magic Roundabout. And I believe the term 'Happy Dance' belongs to crazycrazyme. I do, however, own a rather funky fuzzy duck pen.

Okay, I admit it; perhaps putting an Electro Marble down Auron's pants wasn't my best idea in the history of me. How was I supposed to know he was weak against elemental items? He was only unconscious for an hour. And a bit. The point is he was fine after Yunie managed to revive him. Just a bit more cooked then previously. And grouchier.

No-one actually realised that he deserved it. He used me as a pillow all pmaatehk night. A girl's gotta have her revenge, no matter what. Yunie and Lulu should appreciate that, at least. But nooo, Rikku has become a Legendary Guardian knocker-outer. This is why I'm being kept right at the back of our merry procession, whilst he takes point. It's not as if he needs protection, his big boy, he can take care of himself. Apart from elementals down the knickers, that gets him real bad.

We are walking (read: doing a full-speed run) towards Djose. We heard rumours of a huge machina there. So it's probably Pops being intelligent and flying real low so every one in Spira can see him. Nice going Pops, you cretin. Let all the Yevonites think the Al Bhed are gonna attack the Temple.

Ya know, being stuck behind Kimahri when his sweating is the worst thing. He stinks so bad, it's unreal. I guess wet fur smells pretty yuck no matter where you're standing. Bath time cannot be fun for him. His slow, too, just to make my time more difficult. When we're running like this, me and Tidus normally go to the front, simply because we can circles round the others. But because of my little stunt earlier, I'm here kicking Fuzzball's heels. Auron's probably having a whale of a time keeping up with Tidus's pace.

Oof! What's the big idea stopping like that? Eew, now I'm covered in Ronso sweat. Lovely jubly. What're you pointing at? Ah, we have arrived, and to prove it, we're here. And the much talked about 'Big, Terrible, Flying Machina'! I knew you were gonna come through for me Pops! I believed in you! In a big lie sort of way.

Oh happy dance time! Join in everyone! Don't look at me like that Auron, just because you wouldn't know happy if it came and bit you on your Electro Marbled hiney. Yeah, you heard me. Fine, I'll stop. Big spoil sports, you're no fun. Yunie stop pretending you don't know me, ya big meanie.

Oh thank-you Lady Luck for finally smiling on me again! I knew you would never leave me, not with all the Luck Spheres I've snaffled! Lets go, people, there are mattresses in there. As in proper beds! As in pillows, Auron. Hint hint.

Whoa, smells funky in here. And you fixed what exactly, oh dearest sibling of mine? I don't think Airships have those. I think you just put fuel in her. Okay, you just stand there, flap your arms about and squawk, Bird-boy. It's not as if I can understand a word your saying. Strange child. We're from the same gene-pool, but I think one of us is from the shallow end, and it ain't me. I hope. Don't ask anyone's opinion on that, Bro, their liars and scoundrels.

Time to leave I think. Ta ta for now Brother! I hope you never breed. That would be bad.

Back to the bridge to stand around and look important. It's a difficult job, but someone's gotta do it. Plus I can poke buttons that make the 'ship to strange and wondrous things. Like turning it's Thermostat to almost freezing point. It's all good.

Why, hello there, my bad tempered Bushido warrior, whatcha up to? Sheesh, relax all ready; I'm not going to stuff anything down there. I'm outta Marble's anyway. You did use me as a pillow though, so it can go down as karma. Yes you did. Denial is an ugly thing my friend. It's no use asking them, they where asleep. Wakka was on watch, smart-arse, his not gonna be looking at me and you. Unless we were being eaten by a fiend. And if that were the case, we'd be having this little chat in the Farplane.

FINE! I apologize for rendering you unconscious, ya mean old prune. Now I want my apology. Hey don't just stop talking! C'mon, spit it out. Not literally, 'cos then you'd get spit all over your collar and that, frankly, would be gross. Fine. Have fun leaning on your wall; it's obvious you get kicks outta that sort of thing. Sour old coot. Just 'cos I'm right.

Ah, the Bridge. Hello my adoring fans, who are completely ignoring me. Back to my control panel and- Hey! Why is there someone in my seat? Pops? How do you propose I do my job now? I can't just stand in the middle of the floor and look important, it would be silly. Besides, Lulu, Wakka and Tidus have that covered. Excuse me? You stationed him there? Your darling daughter is stationed there! I was not nippecr! That is not nice! Ugh, why do I bother? I must take from Mum's side of the family, because I'm not block headed enough to be from yours. Alright, look, this is me leaving the bridge! And do you know what I'll be doing when I leave the bridge? I'll be being not on the bridge! And what will that accomplish? Nothing. Zilch. Wanu. Nil.

Ouch! There was no need to kick me out! You can stop laughing too, you sadistic man. Other wise it's gonna be a grenade going down there next time. Yeah, stuff that in your pipe and smoke it, oh smug one! I think I'll go see Kimahri. His fun. In a silent, stoic, not-fun type of way. More so then you, anyway, Enigma-Boy. You go crazy there with that wall of yours. Don't pass-out from excitement or anything; I might be forced to tread on your fallen bulk.

It kills your neck talking to Kimahri. Or any of the guys, actually. Their all offensively tall. Apart from Tidus, because his nice and chose to be of a normal size. Perhaps I should make a point of talking to these outrageously tall people through a periscope so I don't have to look up so much. It's not a nice view either; you can see right up their noses. I once held a convocation with Wakka when he had a huge booger up there. It gave me nightmares for weeks.

Talking of nightmares, Lulu's snoring could give you nightmares. It's so loud. I think her breasts must put strain on her breathing pipes or something, 'cos I'm sure you couldn't achieve this sort of volume unaided. It's friggin' impossible. It was so much quieter with Yunie, but she wanted to be with Tidus, so now instead of bunking with Wakka, his with her, Wakka took Lulu's single cabin and Snorezilla here is now with me. It's an everyone-wins-except-Rikku's-eardrums situation. I think I might put Silence on her if this continues. Geez, this is doing more damage to my ears then Auron's potty mouth ever could. If I'm deaf in later years, Lulu is so paying for my ear horn.

Still, could be worse. Wakka and Kimahri are infamous for their snoozing noises. Wakka mumbles really random crap like 'He hit you in the face with a Monkey burger.' And Kimahri finds it necessary to make slobbery growling noises. It's a bad noise. I almost feel sorry for Auron. Poor guy, he isn't allowed to rest in peace.

… That has to be the crappiest pun in the entire pilgrimage, Rikku. And in bad taste. Yunie said I must not make jokes on Auron's lack of life, be it social or otherwise. I've gotta give it to him though, he hasn't let it hold him back. His incredibly active for a dead guy.

By Yevon's evil boxer shorts, Lulu! That one made my claws rattle! Right, that's it, a Silence for you! If I take that bit outta the Silence Grenade, it should just go 'poof' and Silence her… Hang on Rikku… What did we learn from last time we used an offensive item on a pal? Put the grenade down, there's a good girl. We do not need to do that again, especially when the person on the receiving end could send a boosted Flare your way. When she recovered, anyway. I need a cunning plan.

This corridor is so not comfy. I will kill my conscious for doing this to me. It's not fair. Am I doomed to have no sleep? You know, at least I managed to nod off a couple of times when Auron zonked out on me. All I'm gonna get out here is a sore bum. Who'd of believed that a delicate petal like Lulu could empty a room with her snoring.

The only way this could get any worse is a thunder storm start up. And I've probably jinxed myself, because someone up their really hates me. Or we hit turbulence and I'll throw-up every where, and... Shut up brain.

A/N: Thank-you reviewers! I have decided to carry on, so I'll have to edit the summary . Deep joy. Also, I've been thinking of turning this into an Aurikku, so say if you do or don't want it to go that way. Some sort of plot will form itself soon, promise.