She's crying again. She must think I'm asleep, because she rarely cries in front of me.

Part of me wants to just hold her and tell her every thing's going to be fine. The other part wants to shake her and remind her that we're having a baby and she's supposed to be happy.

I know she's scared so the gentler side wins out, as it always does with Chloe.

I turn her over to face me and wipe away her tears.

"Lex-" a huge sob cuts her off and my heart nearly breaks in two.

"Chloe, it's okay," I pull her tightly to my chest and let her cry for a while. When her sobs reach the point that her entire body is shaking I pull back, "You've got to calm down honey. This isn't good for you or the baby."

That evidently wasn't the right thing to say because she only cries harder. Now I just feel like an ass. My wife, who is still young, who has sacrificed so much for me and will have to sacrifice even more is hurting and I'm acting like my father.

I wrap her securely in my arms and lay there with her until she cries herself to sleep.

I don't know why she isn't happy about this baby. This is what I've wanted since we got married. We discussed children at length and she always said she wanted a family. The day I proposed she saw a little girl walking down the street in Paris and her exact words were 'I'd like one of those.'

She won't talk about it, she doesn't want to tell any one, she won't make any plans. I know she doesn't want it. I know it.

Part of me wonders if she would have told me at all if I hadn't walked in and found her staring at that pregnancy test like it was going to attack her.

But she's been going to the doctor religiously and is taking very good care of herself. I know she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her health or the baby's but at the same time it's so obvious that this is something she wants to be happening.

I know I shouldn't see it this way, but to me she doesn't want my baby. She doesn't want to be the mother of my children. It's my fault and I can't fix it and I can't stand that feeling.