A/N: Hullo! Sorry about the lack of activity on my fic. I lost my muse then found it again by drinking a mug of gravy (don't ask). First, because doesn't let me put one line breaks in, I'm just going to use brackets and put the time difference in those. You'll see what I mean. Second, the fic will now be Aurikku, as the masses wanted it. Thanks for the reviews, there much appreciated, and thanks lilsweet for pointing out my horrendous misuse of the English language!
Disclaimer: FFX does not belong to me. And if you thought it did hang your head in shame.
Oh, who the ramm do you think you are Auron, the corridor police? If I want to sleep in the corridor, I will! It was your own fault you tripped up on me; you should've been looking where you were going. No, you're yet again missing the point old fruit. The fact that I don't normally sleep in a random corridor isn't a valid argument. You should always be prepared for the unexpected. Yes, even at seven a.m. on a Sunday. Oh, stop whining, it's very unbecoming for a grown man. I am not griping! You'd be doing exactly the same if Lulu had kept you awake at night with her snoring!
Ugh, for being the best Guardian in the world, you are really annoying. And you need to shower bad, you smell like a boys locker room. And shave while you're at it, 'cos the sexy stubble look is loosing its sexy stubblishness and becoming a rather pathetic beard. Yeesh, I think Tidus could grow a better one then that. And he doesn't even need to shave everyday. Don't look at me like that. I was not a lobotomy experiment, you big meanie! Oh, go away before I bite your kneecaps off. Yeah, you… saunter off there. I can see you're scared on the inside.
For a man who's made entirely out of pryeflies, he's goddarn heavy. Perhaps he has special shoes. Or perhaps he carries rocks in his pockets. Or perhaps I should get up before anyone else decides to trip over me. Oof, my bum is so sore. Fees like a Bunyip chewed on it. And Auron tripping on it did so not help. Right, onward, back to Snorezilla! I think it was Yevon who decided that duvets would be really hard to carry. Just because he's evil and he's like that. I know, if I wrap it around me… there. I am Rikku, the Majestic Sea Cucumber! Fear me!
Hmm, it's kinda hard to walk when you're wrapped up in a duvet. Hopping is a lot easier, but I would so totally die if anyone saw me hopping about pretending to be a Sea Cucumber. Especially if it was one of the guys. Yunie and Lulu bless them; they expect nothing less from me but, the men would have a total field day with this. Well Tidus, Wakka and maybe Auron. Kimahri would be cool with it. Maybe he'd even join in. Only in spirit of course. I don't think we have a big enough duvet for Kimahri to do a Sea Cucumber. I think he has to use two normal sized ones. Perhaps if we duct taped them together. I'm putting far too much thought into this.
Ah, Lulu, well rested? Where was I? Why, I was sleeping in the corridor, before the Corridor Police moved me along. Oh, you wish to know why I was in the corridor? You're bloody snoring drove me out there! Yes, you do! And I think half the ship will agree with me! I'm swapping with Wakka, I need peace for sleeping! And preferably a bed! With no threat of being kicked in the rear! Uh oh. Lulu, please don't hurt me. I'm small and sweet. And tired. And Yunie's right behind you. Phew. Yunie, you're a true saviour. I think I'll drop this duvet off and get dressed. As much as I love wearing jammies all day, it's not really kosher if you're trying to save the world. It's best to get dressed for that type of thing. A shower would also get the Rikku seal of approval.
(Thirty minutes later)
Right, washed, scrubbed, dressed and ready to face the world! Or Airship, in my case. The world would probably try to ignore me. And do so with devastating success. Anyway! The bridge is singing its alluring song again. Even if I can't do anything with the buttons anymore. Stinky old Pops. I hope a Divebeak poops on his head. Mind you, the shine from his head would probably blind it and it would miss. I swear he polishes his head. Or maybe he's just an incredibly greasy individual. Eeew. Stop that thought train right there.
Howdy Auron, I see you've re-glued yourself to the wall. Hey! You shaved! Wow, your face is all smoothie smooth. If only Wakka took my advice and shaved too. Right now it looks like he skinned a mouse and pasted it to his chin. What? Oh right. I'll let go of your collar now. Sorry. Yeah, I wouldn't like me hanging of my neck either. Not fun. Hey! I do not weigh that much. If you want weight, go see Keepa and ask him to hang off your neck. But it would really start rumours. The Legendary Guardian with the goalkeeper of the Besaid Aurochs. No, scratch that, the mental image is even scarier then Sin.
Uh, Auron you're twitching slightly. Rikku back away veery slowly. Do not agitate him further. He will kill you if you do.
Oops. I didn't mean to mentally scar Auron. Or make him really angry. It's hard to tell. Perhaps I'll get him therapy tokens for his birthday. When ever that is. I'll ask him when he calms down a bit.
(Five minutes later)
This big, blue sphere doo-hickey is really hypnotic. Pops and Yunie will go funny if they keep staring at it. Hang on, Pops is funny. Eh, maybe it'll make him normal. In that case I should make Brother stare at it too. Brother may just be dim though, and no amount of big, blue sphere doo-hickies will ever help him.
Yes, anyway. Tidus! Just the man. Where in Spira are we going? Calm Lands. Okay. Why? Oh! You know what that butt ugly mirror we got in Macalania is for! What, what, do share! The answer 'I'm not completely sure' does not fill me with confidence, bucko. Chocobo Trainer? Oh, you mean the old fruitcake in the bobble hat! She has anything of value T. I should know, I picked her pockets last time we met. And Auron went utterly potty when he found out, remember? Okay, if it makes you happy, we'll all go see Choco Lady. Minus the Pick Pocketing, okay, I gotcha Yunie! What? Okey dokey, I'll go tell Auron. What about Kimahri? Wha-? Good grief! How did you get there? You sure can creep about for a six foot nine cat, you know.
(Fifteen minutes later)
Auron! Where the heck are you? How can one man be so hard to find? I have run round this Airship three times! And you don't even have the decency to reveal yourself! I bet you've somehow managed to beam down off the ship. Or fall off, but at least you wouldn't leave a huge splat mark where you hit the ground, 'cos you're already dead an' all. If you weren't, I'd have to start scraping up Auron Jam, and that is not high on my 'What I Want to Do' list.
When I find you, I'm gonna make you sing at the next Luca Karaoke night. In Al Bhed. I'll sit right at the front, and laugh at you really loudly. You'd probably Bushido me into the Farplane and back if I did that though. Old fart. But, for all of that to happen, I need to find you first!
A/N: Whee, more notes. The important question: Did the brackets thing make sense? I will write a longer chapter on Thursday/Friday. Promise. And I'll start working the Aurikku in. Please, please review! You know you want to!
