Chapter 12
Far Too Painful For Words
After Espio cried himself out he leaned back against the main pole of the tent and just breathed.
His mind was a carmac mess and he couldn't think straight. Too many things had happened. At least he didn't have to think to breathe.
Though it doesn't do me any good to do that either.
And I always wondered why it was all buried.
Hey, I don't even know how it ended up that way.
Maybe it was too painful.
Does it matter? They came back.
To haunt you?
I don't know.
You should. They're your memories.
I don't care.
Does it matter anymore?
I don't know...
Maybe you should have killed yourself.
Don't talk like that!
Why not? You're the one who's depressed.
She was my sister.
A sister you can't even remember!
I...
What if she wasn't real to begin with?
The scroll said...
What if it was planted there? Or what if the Yuffie mentioned isn't your Yuffie?
It is. I know.
How?
I just do! I can feel it.
"Pathetic"
No, that voice wasn't in his head. It was out loud.
Espio trancidly turned his head.
Sherikan stood at the entrance.
"What?" Espio asked, his voice empty of any emotion.
"You know what I want," Sherikan said, stepping into the tent. "I want that sword."
"I told you," the sixteen year old said, "I don't know where Ayame took it."
Sherikan knelt down and looked him in the eyes. "I think you do."
"No, I don't," Espio said very calmly.
Sherikan got angry. He grabbed the chameleon by the arms and forced him to stand. "I'm running out of patience," he hissed. "If you don't tell me where Rioko took that sword you'll end up just like your little sister!"
Espio's face grew startled. "What do you know about Yuffie?" he demanded.
"It's nothing you'd be interested in, thief," Sherikan said smugly.
"I would too!" Espio objected. "Yuffie was my sister! Tell me what you know about her. NOW!"
"Aren't we impatient," Sherikan taunted. "Let's make a deal, shall we? You tell me where that vixen took the sword and I'll tell you what I know about Yuffie."
"I told you," Espio said. "I don't know where she took it."
"Wrong answer!" the Espio look a like exclaimed, thrusting Espio back on the bed.
Espio looked up at Sherikan, who loomed over him. "Now you listen here!" he said pointing a finger in the younger chameleon's face. "I don't care what you say. One way or another I will get that information and that sword!"
He stomped out of the tent.
Espio flopped back on the bed and sighed, closing his eyes in relief.
At least I'm alone again, he thought.
But not for long.
Why?
You know he'll come back.
Can't I have one moment in peace? Why do you have to keep on bothering me?
Fine! But stay awake this time. If you don't you might miss something.
Like what?
You'll have to find that out by yourself.
Espio sighed in frustration. He didn't want to think anymore.
To keep his mind off thinking he concentrated on his breathing. With every breath he counted. Soon the sound of his breathing became the only reality. The rest had melted away.
Nothingness. Nothingness. Let yourself sink into nothingness. The world in empty. It has no meaning. You have no reason to live in it.
He was just sinking into a deep state of depression when he heard familiar voices outside the tent.
The voices brought him back to reality. He listened carefully.
He soon discovered they belonged to Vector and Ayame. They were getting closer.
Espio knew better then to call out to them. He waited till he could see their shadows outside the tent canvas.
Ayame was saying something about him. "I don't see him around here either," she was saying.
"Maybe we should look somewhere else," Vector suggested.
"I guess you're right."
He couldn't let them do that! I have to get their attention somehow!
He raised his legs and kicked forward. His feet came in contact with someone's rear. He heard a screech, and a tiny crash, then a thud as the person he'd kicked fell over.
"Are you all right?" he heard Vector ask.
"I'm fine," came Ayame's reply. "But someone in that tent kicked me over."
"Do you think we should check it out?"
Espio began kicking the tent canvas repeatedly.
"I think we should," Atame said."Whoever's in there seems desperate to get our help."
He heard their footsteps head toward the front. The next instant the tent flap opened. Vector and Ayame entered.
Espio nearly fainted in relief.
"Espio!" the two exclaimed running up to him. "Are you all right?"
He didn't answer.
"Is he okay?" Vector asked.
Ayame bent down to examine the male chameleon. "Well, he's got a black eye and a bump on his head," she said. "He's also dehydrated. We'd better get him out of here."
Ayame used her sword to cut the ropes binding his wrists and ankles. With Vector's help she was able to get him into a standing position.
"Let's go," she ordered.
They draped his arms over their shoulders and slowly made their way out of the tent.
"Thanks for finding me," he said weakly, having a sudden feeling of exaustion.
"It's no problem," Vector said. "I'm just glad we did."
Ayame nodded.
Espio noticed she said nothing but he knew that look on her face and smiled softly. Trying to hide your feelings around Vector I see, he thought feeling a sense of satisfaction and mischief.
They stepped outside.
Vector froze. They came to an abrumpt stop. Ayame looked at him and opened her mouth to ask a question.
"Shhhh!" he hissed. "Listen."
They listened. The sound of voices was coming closer.
"Let's jump them and take their swords," Ayame suggested.
The other two agreed and they jumped back into the tent. Vector and Ayame set Epsio back down on the bed and got into place.
The male chameleon watched them as they got into their postions. Then he grew tired and rested his head on his knees, moaning softly.
He was getting a strange feeling. He knew that feeling. He didn't get it very often, only two times before, but when he did it always meant something was going to go wrong.
"No," he whispered so the other two couldn't hear. "I won't let it get to me this time."
He bit into his hands hoping the pain would make the feeling go away. It didn't. It got worse. I can't let it win this time! I have to fight it! He bit down so hard he drew blood.
That did it. The taste of blood caused him to go berserk.
"HOALAO!" he screamed, rushing out of the tent before his friends knew what had happened.
The two ninja chameleons spotted him.
"Hey you!" they shouted rushing toward him. "How did you get free?"
Then they stopped just feet away from him. They stared at him in utter horror. Espio had a dark look in his eyes and blood covered his gloved hands.
The two didn't stick around. They backed away then ran.
Espio ran after them screaming like a jaguar.
Ayame and Vector stepped out of the tent just in time to see what happened.
"We have to stop him!" Ayame shouted.
Vector needed no probing. He bolted after his friend easily matching his speed. When he caught up with him, he grabbed the chameleon's wrist.
"Get ahold of yourself. What's wrong with you?" the crocodile demanded jerking the sixteen year old back.
The ninja looked at him with dark haunting eyes. "Evil. Evil must die. There is no place for Evil!" he shrieked grappling at Vector's arms.
Vector had no idea what was wrong but he really didn't care. He had to stop his friend before he had to hurt him. The crocodile grabbed the chameleon's other arm and held him still.
"Let me go you bastard!" Espio yelled struggling and racking at the bottom of the crocodile's arms with his finger nails.
Vector was surprised. Espio never cursed at his friends. In fact the Espio he was holding onto now was nothing like the calm, cool, and collected one he was used to!
Ayame came up behind the chameleon and locked her arm around his neck. She knew she hated to do what she had to do but she had no choice. She began to pull him toward the ground.
Espio's tongue shot out of his mouth as he fought against the strangle hold. Everything was becoming a blurr in front of his eyes. Colors and shapes blended together and the world turned white then black.
He felt himself floating. Floating toward the ground. Floating into the ground.
His limbs stopped working. His eyes grew vacent. The world vanished completely.
Darkiness. Floating. Leaving his body.
GASP!
Espio's body jerked forward as if it were awakening him from a nightmare. The trancy state was gone. His vision came back all at once. Feeling returned. He could breathe again. He was alive!
He collapsed against a huge hulking figure.
Vector looked up at Ayame in surprsie.
"What was that?" he asked half angry half confused. "I thought you were going to kill him."
Ayame shook her head. "No," she replied softly. "But what I did I had to do."
Vector did not say another word. He looked down at Espio.
The chameleon had his eyes closed and he was taking deep breaths, as if to calm himself.
"What happened to him anyway?" the crocodile finally asked.
"Possession."
Vector couldn't believe it. "Possession? Espio?"
Ayame nodded and gave no further explanation. "He's fine now," she said instead. "He returned to himself the instant before he would have died."
"So you were killing him."
"I had no other choice," she defended herself. "But you don't have to worry. I know when to let go.I knew when it was enough."
They heard sniffling.
Vector let go of Espio. The chameleon fell backward. The crocodile caught him.
"Espio?" Ayame asked looking down at him.
The ninja looked at her through half opened eyes. Part of his face was wet. Darkness like a shadow, was still clouding his face but at least light was reflecting off his eyes again.
"I'm sorry," he rasped. "I don't know what came over me."
"I think I do," she said.
She produced the sword. She noticed Espio flinch away from it.
When Vector saw it he gasped. "Hey that's the sword that freak Sherikan is after!" he exclaimed.
He glanced down at the tormented chameleon. "Espio, was Sherikan right? Did you steal that sword like he said?"
Espio looked weakly at Ayame.
She nodded. She knew he had to tell his friend the truth.
The male chameleon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly. He felt a bit calmer now. Maybe if he told Vector he would finally be at peace with himself.
"Yes," he coughed and stuttered. "I d-did s-steal the s-sword."
The confession seemed to calm the chameleon some more. The darkness left his face momentarily, his ridged body relaxed.
A smile faintly crossed his lips. Some of it was leaving him. After all these years the torment, it was finally beginning to leave.
Now all I have to do it face Sherikan and it will be all over, he thought.
With that thought he passed out completetly.
