The Phantom Hates The Telephone (1/1)

Rating PG-13 for language.This is a humor phic g >.

Author:WillowRose

Summary:Erik gets a phone call.And another one.and another one….

Distribution:Find this at Café Caritas,Angel or Phantom and else,please ask.

Special thanks to:The members of the above two groups for some great friendships.You all rock.

Disclaimer:I don't own any of these characters,especially the Fop.I just like to bug the hell out of them,especially the Fop.

A/N:This takes place in the sickest part of my mind-a/k/a a PotO AU.This is my first PhanPhic-please be kind with reviews.Thanks!

:denotes action:

:ring:

Erik padded over to the telephone with a groan.He hated the bloody telephone.All the thing did was ring,and there were uninteresting people on the other end.Always.

:ring:

"I'm coming damn you,"Erik bellowed at the phone.As soon as he reached it,he snatched it up.

"Yes-this is Erik,"he announced stoically into the reciever

"Is this Mr Ghost?"a nasally whine came through from the vast regions of Verizon Land.Erik cleared his throat.

"Yes this is the Opera Ghost.Whom may I ask is calling me?"

"This is Marta from Sears.I am calling you to tell you that you have won a free home inspection for vinyl siding!"The woman chuckled into the phone."Isn't that great Mr Ghost!"

Erik frowned.Sears?He never shopped there.Hell,he never shopped ANYwhere.He wondered how they got his private number,but the thought was fleeting.

"Madame,I live in a basement.Of an opera house.I do not need vinyl siding,"Erik replied,trying to lower his voice as not to be brusque with Marta.After all,the woman was only doing her job.

"Oh Mr Ghost,I'm sorry.Maybe you'd like concrete instead?We also do that.Maybe fill in the cracks of the foundation.I can change your estimate to that,just give me a sec…,"Marta's voice trailed as she started tapping on what sounded like a computer.

"No.I do NOT want concrete thank you.Have a nice day,"and with that Erik hung up the phone.

Erik sighed and turned to go to his small but efficient kitchen."Now,where did I put that Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Therapy?"he mumbled to himself as he went for the freezer handle.No sooner he curled his fingers around it…

:ring:

"Damn it all!"Erik yelled as he sprinted for the phone.He was going to kill Christine for talking him into buying this blasted device.Nothing but trouble,this thing was.Kind of like the young diva herself.He picked up the phone and in a gruff voice he answered,"This is Erik."

"May I speak to a Mr Opera T Ghost?"This time it was a male caller.

Erik sighed."This is he,may I help you?"

"My name is Ra-err,Bob.I'm calling you from AT and T with an important question.Are you happy with your long distance service?"

Erik growled under his breath.From deep inside the opera house he heard a familiar laugh…but he ignored it.

"Bob,right now I am not happy with my short distance phone company.Good day!"

SLAM!

Erik turned around and stormed over to the freezer.By now he had a wicked chocolate jones and no one-and no thing-was going to stop him from getting his ice cream.

No thing except……

:ring:

"NOOOOOOOOO!"Erik's scream echoed off the opera house basement walls.Kind of like when he got the elastic from his mask stuck in the trigger lever of the mirror that one time.

Erik picked up the phone and yelled into the speaker,"WHAT!"

A sinister chuckle was heard,and then…

"What's your favorite scary movie,Mr Opera Ghost?"

"GOD DAMMIT!WHO IS THIS?"

And 2 sets of childish giggles were heard from behind the mirror.

One male,one female.