Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun at all, wish I did though. They are owned by Yasuhiro Nightow, Young King Ours, and Madhouse. I do own Jacob though.

Author's notes: Yay! New Chapter! Surprised I started it so soon! Anyway R/R! And on with the fic!

Chapter 3: Escape From It All:

She sat outside Vash's window, crying her heart out. It was true, he was back, but she was gone to them. She had run. Run away from all of it, not even caring how Milly felt. She felt so selfish, but now she supposed this was payback for it all. Her cowardly act, her life's greatest folly and act of selfishness. Could she really go back to them? Would they let her come back, since they would know she had run away from her life, like a coward?

"Yeah, that's me. Meryl Stryfe, the coward." She remarked to no one, laughing cruelly before sniffing. She shivered and pulled her knees up to her chest. She looked up at the sky; moonbeams sparkling off her tears and reflecting her real, human side. Not the stiff, mannerly, workaholic that everyone perceived her as. She just… kept everything in when people were around. But this was her now, broken down and regretting everything. Just... everything.

She remembered what happened, how she got to the point where she was now, to a T. The point at which her friends had thought her dead, when she'd deceived them to run away from the pain, just to bring so much more.

'When Milly saw me faint, she must have taken me to the hospital to see if they could do anything. She probably thought I'd passed on… Milly wasn't great with medicine. I remember waking up sometime later, and looking around at the doctors. They were about to go out and tell Milly I was alive. But… I stopped them. I told them to tell her I was dead. I didn't want to go back to that life of sadness and worry and waiting. I just wanted to get away. I pleaded to them until they agreed. They buried an empty casket along with my past. I moved into a town not far away, taking up a new job. Putting it all behind me... That's where I was when I heard the news that Vash The Stampede was back… from the rumors going around the bar. I don't know why I came back here. I guess to see if it was true, to see that he was alive and well, to give myself a sense of relief. But I've caused them all so much pain! I was selfish. For once in my life I was selfish, and it caused everyone I cared for pain. It causes me pain to see them like that... I'm back at square one…' Meryl thought, as fresh tears pricked at her eyes.

Meryl heard stirring in Vash's room, someone moving, someone yawning. Had she waken him? Her curiosity got the better of her and she peeked in. She saw him sitting up on his bed looking around. She gasped, ducking down and scrambling behind the corner of the house, trembling and clenching her heart.

"I could have sworn I heard someone out here crying. Someone talking. Maybe I was just me dreaming?.. Er.. am I losing it?" Vash said as he yawned, "Guess lack of sleep does that to you."

It must have been pretty early. Vash checked his clock. 1:00 A.M, and he still hadn't slept at all. He looked out his window to see if anyone was there. No one… "Man, I really am going nuts… I'm hearing her voice out of no where!" he said, smacking a hand to his forehead in frustration, "It's gonna be hard not having her around…"

Meryl sunk to her knees, trembling with sobs. She wanted to talk with him so badly. There was so much she wanted to say. A small, sad whimper came out of her mouth and her eyes went wide, smacking a hand over her mouth. Now she'd done it..

Vash narrowed his eyes. "Come out, I /know/ you're there…" he said, grabbing his gun and climbing out of the window. As if he'd shoot them with no good reason, but he didn't like the thought of someone endangering his friends. "I won't hurt you as long as you show yourself. I don't know what you want, but if it's me, leave the others out of it," he warned. Meryl was frozen in place though, clutching a hand over her mouth as tears poured from her eyes. She choked back another sob, not moving from her spot as she heard him stomp over.

Vash raised his gun and walked over. "Fine... if you're going to be difficult, we'll do this the h…." He paused, his breath and words catching in his throat as his eyes went wide. He lowered his gun slowly. "M-Meryl!" he said, trying to register what he was seeing before him. He rubbed his eyes drowsily. Was he hallucinating? Those eyes, though not fierce like they had been, instead filled with agony and pain. He always remembered people's eyes.

Meryl looked up at him, trembling and choking on tears. She'd been caught! But... maybe there was still a chance… but he had used her name! Not insurance girl, he had called her Meryl for the first time. Her mouth reacted before her brain could stop it and replied. Him saying her name had been a shock. "Y-Yes?" she stuttered. She mentally smacked herself. Why had she replied? Why couldn't she just run? Maybe he'd think her a spirit or a hallucination or a dream if she had 'Because I don't want to be a coward anymore' she thought, answering her own question.

"Is it really you?" He muttered in disbelief. He had to be dreaming! Meryl, she was dead! Milly had said so herself. Milly wouldn't lie about something like that. He took a step toward her, looking down at her in shock, wating for an answer… or for her to disappear before his eyes.
"Y-Yes Vash… It's me…" Meryl replied, looking down at her knees now. Anything to get out of that gaze! She wiped her eyes roughly, trying desperately to stop her tears.

"But, you—You're supposed to be—you're not... you're here… but… .how are you here?…." he stuttered. She was there though. She looked different now. She wore a pair of blue jeans and a indigo t-shirt, and her hair reached just below her shoulders now. She looked more like Rem than she had before. Except her eyes were so sad and looked tired. It was baffling, though. Like he was seeing two ghosts in one.

"Your not dreaming, Vash, I'm really here." Meryl replied, seeing the question in his eyes, before laying her head on her knees, curling up and breaking down before him. He would know how weak and cowardly she was! He would know she ran, and she knew if she ran again, it would just make it worse. No matter how badly she wanted to go back to her new life, she couldn't. It would break her and her friends' hearts. She kept herself curled tightly, trying to force away the world. Trying to imagine she was back at her home with the kitten she' got, making breakfast before going to work. She was happier there than here where she had to face Vash.

He frowned down at her, pulling her up and telling her to come inside. She looked at him in disbelief, before nodding in compliance, following him back through the window. Meryl sat on the edge of his bed, putting her head to her knees, silently waiting for her tears to stop. Too ashamed to even look at him. He hugged her and rocked her back and forth to try and calm her down. She frowned, in any other situation, at any other time, a smile would be on her face. But in this matter, she frowned. She quietly told him everything after calming down. Her side of the story, why she'd done it. He listened of course, only disagreeing with her pleas to keep this all amongst them. He explained that Milly had a right to know and that this was her chance to turn it all around. He told her he would tell Millie the story for her in the morning. She reluctantly agreed before falling asleep.
Okay, okay, a lot of crying from Meryl, but hey, she was really upset! I mean, it'd be a lot of emotional weight for anyone ; Anyway Chapter 4 will be up as soon as I have it done! Which should be soon!