Note To Reader: Okay, this is something new... I never imagine myself writing a songfic before. Never. The main reason why is all my fics were inspired by songs, one way or another. ALL OF THEM! This song got to me though... it would not leave me alone unless I write something that goes with it. So... blame on the song :) Oh, and Final Fantasy IX fans should know this song. Big Hint.
I will get a new fic on Sheelos up soon, an updatefor ASL and LSL (Lloyd's School Life),two more one-shots, and perhaps, a third fic? Please be patient with me! School had become my main essential now... since yesterday wasmy first day of school. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this.
Summary: In her dearest memories, Sheena cannot imagine her life without Zelos. The man was always there for her, adding the layers of harmony to her life. The echoes of his voice ringed through her heart forever until the end of time. (Sheelos, angst, one-shot, dedicated: Freakyleaf)
Dedication: FreakyLeaf! Today is your birthday and here is your angst one-shot giftfic. Happy b-day and hope you like this one-shot! Don't worry, I always look out for all staff members :)
WARNING: Dark, you've been warned. Oh, and song lyrics are in bold letters. The song lyrics are the borders in this fic or in other words, the thing that seperate different events or POV's. Thank you!
Zelos: I supposed they do love the Chosen, don't they?
Sheena: Of... of course.
Zelos: But do they love Zelos Wilder. That's the real question.
-Vyctori in "Noticed", a Sheelos one-shot
Melodies of Life
By Rose-Wisteria
Closing her eyes, the figure walked toward the woods where the trees loomed over so high that sunlight barely slipped through the miniature openings of fragile growing leaves. Not a single sound was heard from the slow lifeless stroll. Obviously, such a slouch from her shoulders was obtrusive for all viewers, but nothing mattered anymore. The heart and soul she had given to him was violated. Violation probably wasn't even the right word. It was something more, much more.
She allowed him to trespass her expectations, to become close to her.
No, he didn't rape her or any of that sort. He loved her. There were no other words to describe how much he adored her for as long as he lived. His insatiable taste for her return of his affections almost took over him completely, leaving him blind and pusillanimous to his emotions. If she ever yielded to his temptations again, his day would be blessed.
The wry attitude he held was indifferent to everyone but her. There was a reason why she was a ninja, someone observant enough to notice and noticed his remarks meant something more than what he intended. They were all spurious, just an act to hide his partnership with Mithos. No one suspected such a maneuver in his part. The only person who saw it all was she. And even then, it was too late.
The purple silky hair nuzzled her neck while the loose strands on her forehead pendulant her temple and brows. Frowning, her ruby lips sparkled in the light from the sun as wetness dashed across its touch from her tongue. How much she wished everything would end right now. In spite of all past events, her hope seemed indefatigable every moment of her life until now. Uncontrollably, she gently brushed her right hand across her chest, where her heart located. The time with no doubt, was taunted by the humid haze that lay over her head, slowly, painfully, as it continued to overrun its purpose, turning the clock of sadness at a faster rate. The air was motionless and the emotions clutched onto her stomach, making it sore.
The trees surrounding her slow footsteps haunted each inch of her pale skin. She could barely keep herself from collapsing to the soft grassy ground and sobbing until her tears would dry from the pieces of memories left in her beating heart. Not a day went by when she didn't think about the wrongs and rights of her existent. The love she once had for someone was shattered into a million pieces and even if she searched all her life, it was to be expected that she would never fully uncover them all. And to add to that, some things just never got better.
The darkness developed around the lonely woman when she thought, at last, it would never return. It did. That hatred she felt for herself, how cowardly she was, how different she was, and how fake she was, all came back to haunt her once more.
Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark,
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart.
To weave by picking up the pieces that remains. Melodies of Life-Love's lost refrain.
Some time ago, she searched and searched to find her inner peace. An inner peace to help her continues on. For a while, it had always been Corrine, the manmade summon spirit, always so cheerful and motivated who had been her best friend and kept her away from the pain the world gave her. She was happy again when she least expected and the pain from the deaths of her villager finally vanished as if it was never there in the first place. At that time, she wished it to be gone for good.
Nothing was gone for good.
Like she predicted, when the Summon Spirit disappeared from her life, the darkness returned. Where was her light? An invisible fortress covered the light she had depended on. From that day on, she dared not to let her heart opened so easily for anything. The best thing she managed was to keep her shield up and hopefully; no one would try to penetrate it. She had kept her heart empty, but secure for a while.
There had been events after events thrown at her, either making her upset or gleeful. They all changed her view.
Biting her lips harder than she anticipated, she tasted the bitter flavor of scarlet liquid. She lifted a finger to touch the flowing blood and gasped to see the sight of it. How hopeless she was! She fought all her life, enduring the sickened odor of fresh blood from those victims she killed. When it came to her blood, however, she cringed. She turned around; eyes wide open with surprise at how far she entered the forest without knowing it.
Sheena shrugged. Her mind wasn't on the road anyway. The truth was she missed Zelos terribly. She missed how he would glance up at her and saw the beauty from her, in and out. Ribald will build up in his eyes to fleet his special personality. The new penchant for her smile fluttered his heart and occupied his mind. She felt the same way as well.
In delightful amazement, she knew a small smile formed on her face without a glance at any reflection. That's how much these things affected her.
With a complete turn, she stopped to an abrupt halt and glanced sideways for any sign of a friend. Heaving a heavy sigh, Sheena found it useless to keep tracking down anyone here even if he told her that he was coming. If there were anyone else, she would find it unusual since not many brave souls enter this forest. The person who agreed to meet her here was Lloyd, for he promised to talk about her current situation. She really desired someone to talk to, to share her inner emotions to. Someone who knew Zelos personally and the relationship between her and him.
Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why,
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said good-bye,
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold.
A blurred memory of her lost love, Sheena sighed to see lengthy fiery hair precipitating down his back like rain falling from the clouds and ebullient smirk emerging on his handsome, soft lips. The thoughts on him possessed her entire mind, unwilling to leave. Their lives were so similar in many matters, and yet, it took both of them some time to figure out. They were both outcasts in their societies, so it wasn't unusual that they were destined to meet and find a new life within one another.
At times, she sat down with her head buried in her knees, wondering what would become of her if she never met him in the first place. If she never met the Chosen of Tethe'alla, would her life go toward this dark direction? Would she have to say good-bye and feel the tragic of his death?
It disturbed Sheena so intensively when she allowed herself to open once again, only to be thrown away by his last actions toward the other members of their group. Oh, how she was tricked!
She remembered the first days they've met in their younger days when the two of them were still very harmless. She was send to the Summon Spirit Institution as a proof of Mizuho's loyalty to the King, and in that city of Meltokio, was where she met him. Zelos, with his less perverted sense of humor back then, would make her giggle with his easygoing jokes. A broad beam was across her face when he tried to please her. The way he looked at her was forgiving and gentle, as if she was his only best friend. Probably even more.
"Sheena, thanks for being my friend."
"No problem! I'm glad to be your friend too. Thanks for being my friend as well."
"Of course, friends stick together, right?"
But now, she realized the depth of his words because Zelos was barely a youngster back then who needed a friend. True, he was the famous Chosen but few really knew him. Few really knew Zelos Wilder. She would imagine that he was the most popular person in the entire world of Tethe'alla, and he was. At the same time, though, he was also the loneliest person of all.
He never told her he loved her. For someone as outspoken as he, those simple words were too much for a man to handle, especially to a woman like her. The best way to deal with a woman like Sheena who always lose her temper to every word he spoke, was to continue this taunts and pretend her harsh words had no effect on him. Those conversations they had never really brought out what he planned to tell her, and she knew that she could not as well. They deluded their emotions for each other for so long. The love they had for each other was way back, past their meeting in Lloyd's group.
Sheena was afraid he would reject her. Zelos was afraid she would reject him. Both of them were cowards in their own way, Sheena keeping her emotions to herself and Zelos hiding behind that facade. Whenever one wanted to get close to the other, one would have a strong feeling of revulsion. They stole themselves against any sign of weakness. The ending of their fears ended up in anger.
How much she wished those childhood days would come back!
In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me.
Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name.
"Sheena..." Zelos once spoke when they were sitting by the Institution of Meltokio.
Typical that Zelos would burnish the conversation. He was still a redhead and a Chosen back then, but his attitude was much different. Then, they only thought about small things like going to school, having what for lunch, or asking questions with no possible answers. Long ago, she never thought she would carry the burden of her village by being a summoner or being a member in the group that stopped Mithos. She actually thought being a summoner would be fun! Of course, this was before the Volt accident as well.
"Yes?" Sheena said, intrusive at what her companion had to say.
"I don't want to go home." Zelos stated, his eyes darkening at the thought.
This was also before his mother passed away, before his half-sister got arrested, and before any of the girls of the city really met him in person. He was a prisoner in his mansion, actually.
"Something wrong?" The girl asked, concern filling her eyes, those of violet color matching her hair.
Zelos shook solemnly. "It's just... everyday, I have to escape my home to see you. I am imprisoned and watched by authorities 24 hours a day. I want to be like you, so free. I don't want to go home." The Chosen repeated himself.
A giggle from the future summoner caused Zelos to elevate a brow in curious wonder. "You're so silly!"
"How so?"
"You're always talking about how hard living in your home is! You should just be glad you get to live with your mommy and eat yummy food every day." Sheena laughed at Zelos's words, finding the nonsense of it. Much amused by this conversation, she struggled to cover mouth with her hand from the plethora of giggles.
Zelos dropped his head on his friend's shoulder. "No matter how yummy the food is... it's always cold."
A gentle tap on his hand caused as much surprise to the Chosen as it did to her. She had never been this close to a boy before even if she didn't care what gender he was. Perhaps, she had never been this close to a girl either. He lifted his eyes to look at her shining face and waited for her answer.
"Don't you have servants do everything for you? How could the food be cold then? Are you tricking me again?" Sheena inquired, remembering the time he told her that if she stayed outside at night for too long, Sword Dancers would take her away. What in the world are they? Probably just a name he made up. At first, she believed him until she saw him "sneak" out of his home to enjoy the fresh air outside his window. And it was really late too!
"Naw. That was a joke, not a trick." Sheena nodded in an "uh-huh" kind of motion until he shifted his eyes uneasily. "The food is always cold because..." He paused, frowning. "They always have to check for poison."
Sheena gasped, and would have let out a shriek if it wasn't for Zelos covering her mouth with his hand. Finally, after she calmed down, she held onto his arm tight, shaking. "W-Why? Why are they trying to poison you?" Sheena made a mental note to check her food from now on.
"Because I'm the Chosen." Zelos declared clearly.
"B-But you never done anything wrong, h-have you Z-Zelos?" Sheena was afraid to ask while her voice quavered. Apparently, she didn't understand the significance of being Chosen.
Zelos laughed, peering dreamily at her from his resting spot on her shoulder with his blue orbs shimmering. He was getting quite sleepy. It was pretty late now. "What if I did?"
The future summoner's eyes widened as she shook him off her shoulder. Now, she was mad. "You're tricking me again!" The Chosen wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her tight to the side of his body in a friendly comfort.
Ignoring her last statement, Zelos continued, "Well, I just hate this sneaking around routine you know? Chosens get no fun! I even have to be escorted to school!"
"Haha." That was Sheena's reply while sticking out her tongue.
"That's not funny!" Zelos took his arms off his friend, wrapped his arms in front of his chest in a demand effort, and frowned at Sheena.
"I'm laughing with you, not at you, silly." Sheena pouted, managing to hold back her giggles at last. The lass's grin hinted of a humor more often shown when teasing someone else.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, Zelos started chuckling. "It's always fun with you, Sheena!"
Soon, both were laughing until they stopped when they remembered that Zelos was supposed to be at his home right now and Sheena was supposed to be in the Institution asleep. Calmness returned and absent-mindedly, Zelos murmured, "Sheena, if something was to happen to me..."
His voice trailed off and his chin quivered as if he was unsure about something.
"Don't be silly again! They check for poison remember?"
Zelos shook his head. "That's not the point."
Confusion shook every fiber in her body. She didn't understand. What in Goddess Martel's name was Zelos talking about? Sheena shrugged. "It's not going to happen." This should assure him for now or so she thought.
Zelos was stubborn however. When he wanted an answer or made up his mind, he was the most inexorable person ever! The boy wanted a direct answer from Sheena. "Just answer me!"
"Well..." The beauty rubbed her chin and cast her eyes heavenward in thought. "I'll be very very very sad."
Very gently he touched his hand to the soft fingers on her lap, as he thought if that really were to happen. "Don't worry, Sheena, if something were to happen to me, I'll always be with you. I'll always call out for you. I promise to be with you forever."
Sheena's eyes glowed with sparkling tears, her happy mood changing immediately. Restive mood now. "I heard from Grandpa that when a person... dies, they would become birds to come back, to visit the ones they love, and to protect them."
Zelos nodded slowly and sat ever so still the next couple of minutes as if comprehending something. Sheena stayed rooted to the floor as well, not touching her companion with anything except for her amethyst orbs. A coldness grew inside her soul to see him like this. She was his friend, wasn't she? How could she let him continue on like this? The emotional strings inside her heart was being cut, sapping all her strength.
"If you were really gone, Zelos, I would go with you!" Her sudden outburst startled the boy. She directed her eyes downward and sat awaiting his answer. She would not meet his sapphire orbs. How embarrassing!
Zelos did not know what to say to this comment. All he could do was grin. "How violent, Sheena! Such a violent banshee!" Zelos tossed a comment over his shoulder.
"What did you barely call me?" Sheena's brows arched diabolically above glaring eyes. From his tone, it wasn't something good. She heard it loud and clear the first time, but couldn't help but repeat herself. By the time she received an answer, Zelos already started dashing toward the front steps of his home to avoid the bashing he was in for. She chased after him. "Zelos! Come back here and explain to me what a banshee is!" Sheena enjoyed the Chosen's friendship and, as good as it is, his taunts as well. She had fun with from Zelos's sense of humor, and, sadly enough, the loose temper forming inside her along with it. She had taken a personal attachment to that little boy.
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life.
To the sky beyond the flying birds-forever and beyond.
Years past, and things changed, leaving cold hearts to endure the never-ending pain.
The sight of lost ones dieing before her eyes made her twisted and turned each night, dreaming of the same event over and over.
The villagers running and screaming, blazing fear aroused in those eyes around her. A moment later there silenced the screams of horror and rather than rejoice that it finally came to an end, she grew worried for the long pause of any sound at all. The unbearable quietness throughout the temple brought shivers down Sheena's spine.
A strange crimson liquid was covering every inch of the hard ground. The odor caused the girl to hold her breath, feeling sick to her stomach and at the same time, feeling the images around her spun in circles.
"GRANDPA!"
The red ball brought the rays of dazzling light through the windows and touched the ivory face Sheena processed. She stirred and jumped up from the covers that covered her body. Snuggling deeper to her pillow than she would usually, she inhaled the fresh air and released it with one exhausted sigh. This was the usual technique she took after waking up from the nightmare and it seemed to work well so far. Using the back of her hand, she wiped the sweat off her forehead. The usual morning greeting of breakfast aroma made the girl closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of life again. Years went by since the Volt accident, but no matter how hard she tried to push the terrible memories aside, it would always remain. It plagued her day and night, leaving her only with the crimson color of blood. She opened her eyes with a start when she remembered something.
Today, she was supposed to go to Meltokio to talk to some of her old friends at the Institution. She couldn't wait to meet them again!
A few seconds brought excitement throughout her body, making her throw the sheets off without a care. She stretched as her sore muscles loosened with ease. Now, she was fully relaxed and ready to leave for Meltokio.
What about Zelos? She thought frantically when she remembered that little redhead living there. Would he remember her? It was true, he sneaked out every night to visit her that year and then the next, until she returned to Mizuho.
Something cold gripped Sheena's heart when she thought how she wasn't able to say good-bye to Zelos before she left. She was taken so suddenly! Much to her alarm, her heart started thumping loudly in her ears. Would he forgive her? She jumped from the mattress in a quick and anxious movement toward the closet, fearing she was wasting too much time debating within herself. The faster she get dressed, the faster she could confirm her answer. As she tugged and pulled her usual clothes over her form, she tried to keep her mind off the whole situation. But as soon as she got her mind occupied, the little boy would appear again in the darkness of it all.
Finally she finished her dress up and heard a knock on the door. At least she was well garbed, she thought as she opened the door to reveal one of the villagers, ready to go with her to Meltokio. It seemed he was going to buy more supplies for the entire village.
On their way there, she could feel the pounding of her heart inside her chest for her longing to meet him again. Now, the questions on her mind were different. Would he recognize her after those years? Would he change dramatically? Would she recognize him?
After she talked with her friends in the Institution, she glanced around and found the city so unfamiliar. She was going to get lost in no time. If she were brave, she would have asked for help but she didn't. She didn't have the courage to speak with anyone in the city for directions. Instead, she wandered around, hoping she would recognize his mansion. Every movement she took seemed to make her lost her sense of direction completely. Maybe she could at least stumble upon her other friend from Mizuho to help her. Then again, she didn't want her Grandpa to know the friendship she formed with the Chosen. It was something they never discussed.
Thankfully she didn't run into any trouble on her quest but why was there no sign of him? Surely she would have met him by now. At this age, he couldn't be held back in his home, right? She sighed and sat down near the Institution once more. She walked around in circles and came back to where she started. It seemed only a moment later that someone went by where she sat and stopped to pay any attention to her. Perhaps, another person pitying her. Whoever it was, walked over to her and stood towering over her body. The shadow emitted upon her didn't go unnoticed as she lifted her eyes to meet the gaze.
She rose on shaky limbs as her search finally came to an end. He looked down at her puzzled, his blue pools examining her posture and clothes. Those familiar eyes observed her from top to bottom, unable to get his eyes off her beauty. As if the voice barely came back to him, the man before her smiled and questioned, "Violent banshee?"
He didn't add any more comments as she placed her hands on her hips. "What kind of greeting is that, Idiotic Chosen?" Raising her eyes uncertainly to his, she thought he changed a lot throughout the years.
For one thing, his fiery haired was longer and livelier. He didn't have that innocent look on his face or that gentleness in his eyes. And when in Goddess Martel's name did he start wearing pink? He used to wear red... now pink? The boy was no longer a boy, but a grown man with light skin and narrow hips. He was much taller than her now.
"Oh, forgive me." He said mockingly, pulling her into a tight embrace. She blinked a few times before she recognized this friendly hug they used to share. Her arms could not bring itself to wrap around his warm body no longer, or at least, not as easily as when she was young. He placed his head on her own, breathing in her scent. The aroma of lilac filled his senses, revealing that it was definitely she. He missed Sheena. He really did.
"Is that really you Zelos?" Sheena murmured softly and sought the last verification.
Zelos gave out a sly smile, which brought a rush of color to her face. "No, not Zelos, but the Great Chosen of Tethe'alla."
"Oh?" Sheena raised a brow.
"Wow, Sheena, you look so... voluptuous." Zelos ended with a teasing smirk, causing Sheena to jerk her head up to him completely. Did she hear him correctly?
Before she could say anything, he took her arm in a firm, solid grasp. This caused Sheena to jump in surprise. "Here, I want you to come meet my hunnies." He told her before jerking her after him.
She blinked speechless. "Hunnies?" Sheena stammered, and still didn't understand.
"Don't worry, my voluptuous hunny, you'll get to know them better." Zelos didn't answer her question, but since that day on, that nickname stayed.
So far and away, see the bird as it flies by,
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky,
I've laid my memories, and dreams upon those wings.
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings.
Surprisingly, the summoner started recalling those memories so well. The memories seemed endless. The sun was already gone and there was still no sign of Lloyd from the island she sat on. This was the exact place where she fought Kuchinawa; the place where her friend and she fought in a duel, one that she had won. As the moon rolled along the sky, Sheena let out a sigh of sadness. He promised her. Lloyd promised her that he would come to talk to her. Her heart was breaking from the torture she had to endure with those memories flashing before her eyes.
That day, she did meet his hunnies. They hated her. When they started calling her names, all she could do was to stare at Zelos to defend her, to show her that he was still her friend, who will always be there for her. Her temper came loose when he did nothing of that sort and she started to argue with his hunnies, in a louder tone than she anticipated. In the end, Zelos defended them. He told her to stop arguing. Why didn't he stopped them from calling her names?
To save face of course. He was, after all, the Chosen, who would rather be with his groupies of fans instead of being with the person who helped him through those two years of torture. It was as if he didn't want to recognize her at all in front of those girls. Why was he so afraid? He should announce to the whole world or two worlds that she was his friend, the only friend he had when he was young. But no, he did not do that. The reason was he was the Chosen. A Chosen couldn't be caught defending a Mizuho native, right? Especially when Mizuho was a village thought to be rebelling against the King.
From that day, she lost all faith in him. He was just another man. Just a creep who took advantage of their friendship. He grew loving her body instead of her personality. She hated him. She couldn't stand him. The way he broke off their relationship left a blade in her heart, making it cracked. What happened to that innocent boy? Was it all a trick? Was this all a game to him?
How stupid she was, to fall under his spell for a second time. This was what she thought, at first, when she considered how lost she'd been with those mood swings she went through whenever he was around during their journey. He kept her company just to annoy her to her deathbed. She couldn't erase her hatred for him from the day he abandoned their friendships for those rich girls. Those hunnies!
Those thoughts were all incorrect. How wrong she'd been! The loneliness he felt inside finally spilled out over the periods of time. The only reason why he acted this way was because his mother died, his half-sister arrested, and his title was all there was to his life.
That day when he met her again in Meltokio, all he could feel was the joy that leapt from his cold heart. At last, someone who really understood him. Someone he spent his childhood with. At that time, however, he didn't expect the girls to be so rough on her though, and he held his entire urge to defend Sheena. The title was too much for him to handle.
The journey freed his soul, leaving him with Sheena once more without any of those annoying girls running after him. She, too, at the time could stand him no longer. The two broke into arguments over everything. Nothing seemed to work out. Nothing.
Outside those fake identities they held, they both wanted that childhood back. The time when they did not care for things like looks, genders, or any other identity. The time when they knew each other as two lost souls in a world of cruelty. Zelos didn't see Sheena as an attractive woman to feast his eyes on, but a girl stuck in an Institution without a friend and home. Sheena didn't see Zelos as a pervert womanizer who would hit on every female he sees, but a boy stuck with a title that gave him so many misfortunes.
That changed so quickly, Sheena thought. He didn't see just another friend anymore; he grew too mature for that. She was not a playmate anymore, but a grown woman with curves and with a mind of her own. The love they felt for each other when they were young was not nearly as strong as they had when they were older. Throughout that journey, they found each other once more. Not as friends, but something more.
The Mizuho native kept her head buried in her knees, covering her face completely. Her arms were wrapped around her knees as well as she sobbed. The waiting seemed forever, and it was hours after hours already lost. It startled her that maybe Lloyd never cared. Like everyone else in her life, he didn't care about her anymore. How she was suffering! What she was going through!
When her village knew of her relationship with the Chosen, they thought it must be some kind of joke. She would not allow herself to be in a marriage with another man. Her Chief or Grandpa tried hard not to disturb her decision, but everyone was not nearly as considerate as her Grandpa. She grieved for the Chosen. No one else would make her heart fluttered the way he did. Sometimes, she would overhear a conversation between two Mizuho women how she must have been damaged during her journey.
Damaged? Was the reason why they thought she wouldn't marry was because she had an intimate relationship with Zelos? She bedded him before a decent marriage?
Sheena kicked a branch nearby without lifting her head from her knees. She loved him! But she also respected the Mizuho tradition enough not to do anything serious like that! How accusing! Her face flamed with anger. No one cared about her or her feelings. Even Lloyd was taking so damn long to come! Probably he wasn't even going to come at all!
The only person she thought she could depend on left was failing her. The village she lived in was getting farther away from her than ever. She had been made successor but she wasn't even born a Mizuhoan! Her Grandpa found her by chance in the forests and took her in as his own. Now, since her Grandpa died recently, she felt all her power was drained from her. Vice-Chief Tiga took over and she was told that she was still too "immature" to rule a whole village.
This was just an excuse however. In the entire village, only her Grandpa supported her in every way possible including the title of successor. Now, that the Chief was out of the picture, she was thrown away. Some villagers felt that she was not of the right bloodline to take such a position while others still did not forgive her for the Volt accident. The deaths of their love ones will always be there. Why should she be a Chief when she cannot gain respect from the entire village?
Her dreams crushed, she had nothing left. Most of her village despised her. Her two best friends, Corrine and Kuchinawa, were gone. Lloyd didn't even care and probably the rest of their group would forget her by now. Grandpa died too young. To add to her confirmation, her only love, Zelos, passed away as well.
What hope did she have left? What will tomorrow bring? More pain?
Steadily, she placed a foot in front of the order as she got the courage to get up at last. The sky darkened with a blanket of stars twinkling above. Taking small footsteps toward the rushing river, she released the rope she tied to keep the boat from floating away. Still on her trembling feet, she watched as the boat went downstream and disappeared from her view. There was no escape now.
"If you were really gone, Zelos, I would go with you!" How childish that sounded in her ears.
In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?
Was it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?
"Zelos..." The tears tickled down her colorless cheeks. The blood she had seen all her life was reappearing before her eyes again. That disgusting liquid covered her entire hand came from his lips. She dared not to speak anymore, as his head laid on her arm, awfully still and lifeless. She had braved enough by whispering his name. The thought of seeing his breath cut and heart stopped made her quavered. The most aching pain was from her heart. The pain continued on and on, tearing her heart apart. The throbbing of his head made the sobs harder to endure. She wanted to just end right there.
He lifted a steady and cold hand to caress her fragile cheek. She closed her eyes in agony, unable to meet his stare. The droplets of blue liquid kept dripping from her face and onto blood stained clothes. With all the courage she could manage, she reached for his icy hand and pressed it harder to her face. Why can't she stop crying?
Managing to open her eyelids again, his gaze went deep into her soul, clutching onto the leaking dim light. She gasped in horror as more blood escaped from his mouth and onto his clothes, woozily crawling to the ground. The scent enough scared her for she knew this odor too well now. The odor when her villagers died in that temple. It came back to haunt her. No, she would never let him go. She would not let him flee from her arms yet again. "Don't leave me..." Sheena pleaded, staring helplessly at his weakened face for it had turned white while his breath had gone short.
"D-Don't worry, Sheena, if s-something were to happen to m-me, I'll a-always be with y-you. I'll a-always call o-out f-for y-you. I-I promise t-to b-be with y-you f-forever, r-remember?" His words were soft, which she strained to hear. The more he talked, the more he had to inhale for breath.
She nodded her head miserably. Those same words they spoke when they were young and immature. Now, as she sat there helplessly to watch the last moments of his life, those words didn't seem so foolish anymore. "I heard from Grandpa that when a person..." She recalled the exact words, hesitating at this point like she did before, "dies, they would become birds to come back, to visit the ones they love, and to protect them."
"H-heh... birds..." Zelos managed a choked laugh. Suddenly, his head rolled on her shoulder and stopped its movement. When she felt this, her heart froze and everything went dark.
Lifting her eyes to him, she saw his eyelids closed and his dark eyelashes stood out. His hand felt motionless, more than it did before. There was no sign of life left in the form, yet a smile stayed on his lips. She cried out loud, harder than she ever did in her life. The tears ran down their joint hands like a river of memories. Out of rage, she dropped his hand and shook his body.
"You promised, Zelos!" she cried miserably. "You promised you'd always be with me! Answer me!" She stopped when everyone gathered around, and tried to grab her arms to stop her. She didn't want help from them. Dropping her head to his form, she whispered, "Wake up and talk to me. This isn't another trick is it? Please let it be so... wake up and smile at me one last time."
The body vanished under her, leaving her only with his exsphere. Tears sparkled in her long lashes and fell from her cheeks, those last droplets left in her eyes. The droplets soaked with the blood, making the whole floor a dreadful purple color.
"You promised."
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding up the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life.
To the sky beyond the flying birds-forever and beyond.
Her body bended over the fine ledges of the windmill while her sad eyes continued searching the river below her as if looking for some sign of confirmation. The shiny body of running body of water glistered ever so brightly in the blazing set of the bloody sphere, illuminating a golden glow over the clouds and beyond. No one noticed her; everyone was on doing their own business anyway. Shivering from head to toe, nothing stopped the droplets mixing in with the river's flow, causing small ripples to run out. Sheena dropped her gaze to the blue running water and noticed the familiar color in his lost eyes.
The droplets brimming in her eyes made her legs weak, barely supporting her full weight. There was nothing to stop her lips from trembling. The item he left for her was in the clutches of her hand, in which she squeezed harder and harder as if they would help her endure the pain.
"I'll miss you so much," Sheena gasped, tears tickling freely down her pale cheeks and into the river. The parting sorrows with that man could no longer be bottled up inside. Leaving her head to droop over her arms, which were still atop the ledges, she kept her eyes away from the people walking by, leaving her back to them.
No matter how hard she tried, his voice kept ringing through her ears. Was she going mad? Or was the pain too much for her? Stubbornly, Sheena shook her head to dismiss this thought. She had gone through more than this, way more. She had seen her villagers died in front of her eyes and her best friend, Corrine, as well. Then, why in Goddess Martel's name, was it hurting more than she could ever imagine?
Even when Sheena knew there was a presence behind her, her eyes drawn to the river instead to relieve her of the words of any other members of her group. For these throbbing moments, all she wanted was to slide away from her friends' comfort and be at ease by herself. She engaged herself in a problem she could not get out of. Everyone who said something, no matter who the person was or what the words were, she gave no response. The answers were lost.
When her villagers died, this feeling had developed within her, trapping her soul in a cage. This cage opened and set her free until she had decided to return to its bars. All around her were voices, every conversation she ever had with Zelos.
The skies were filled with flying birds, looking for shelter or heading home. Ever so miserably, she lifted her lazy eyelids to perk up at the wonders of the graceful wings across the glowing sky. This small image made a light flashed from behind the bars, bringing in hope for the trapped soul. She pulled out a hand between those steel bars and reached to the sky as if it would bring her freedom. Memories came flooding back, reminding her of Zelos Wilder and of the dying expression on his pale face.
Her eyes widened, as round as a full moon, and took it away from those flying birds ever so free. Instead, her teary orbs were lost in thought at the sight of the exsphere in the palm of her hand. She gazed at it for a moment, remembering the way his arm would wrapped casually over her shoulders when they were young. As they grow older and traveled together, he only had the courage once to do that gesture again when she needed warmth on the night they slept together in Flanoir.
That night, she wrapped a blanket over her shoulders. She began to feel even colder and huddled deeper in the blanket to seek warmth. Sheena even clenched her teeth together from chattering and bit her lip hard to keep her muscles together, from the trembling of the coldness. That was when he came over and wrapped his arms around her securely, leaving her to relax on his hard frame and slept dreamlessly.
Something else she remembered was that Zelos longed to be free all his life. He gave evidence of that and it was until his death that she realized it. She thought so, before when they escaped as kids, but when she saw the enjoyment shown on his face whenever he was around the people of his city, she assumed that he was at last, happy to live there and be a Chosen. Maybe all those complaints before were just childish whining in the hands of a friend like she. How mistaken she was!
"Be free, Zelos... be free like a bird... always roaming and looking over me..." She whispered in a soft voice.
"Sheena!" The voice made her jump as she turned around, surprised to see the young swordsman with slick brown hair standing right behind her. To her guess, he didn't catch the words she spoken earlier. He did notice, though, her sudden jerk. Now, his face was flushed red at the thought of catching her off guard like that.
"Lloyd... you need to talk some more about your problems?" Sheena asked weakly, wiping away the shining liquid hastily before Lloyd could catch her crying.
Lloyd, of all times, noticed the red eyes she possessed and the wet cheeks. "Sheena, I know we already talk about my problems but..." He paused, taking a step closer that made Sheena take a step back, leaning her back toward the ledge. Was she going to let him help her? "That's not why I came back. Is there anything you want to tell me?"
She glanced up at him startlingly. "Actually..."
Should she tell him? Her hand started shaking all of a sudden. If he was in her position, he would tell her, wouldn't he? Why should she keep secrets with one of her friends? They had gone through a lot and she trusted Lloyd more than anyone else. He was going to fight his father tomorrow, and yet, he wanted to speak to her about her problems instead. Under her misty eyes, she was grateful. Grateful to have a friend as Lloyd.
"Yes, there is something." Sheena admitted, nodding her head.
Lloyd waited to hear her next sentence when Colette stumbled up the steps to reach them with a small smile on her bright face. She didn't notice that they were in a conversation as she waved to Sheena in a greeting, "Hi Sheena! Lloyd and you must be tired. Everyone already went to his or her rooms to rest for tomorrow's battle. Are you guys coming? It is getting late."
Lloyd glanced nervously at Sheena, who forced a smile. "It really is nothing. Nothing at all. You should retire to bed."
Lloyd still wasn't convinced and didn't budge. The cheerful blonde had a confused expression on her face when she hit her forehead to see the situation at last. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Lloyd! I shouldn't have done that. It's all my fault." Colette frowned.
Sheena couldn't stand it when Colette blamed everything on herself. She was such a sweet soul. "It's nothing. I was just going to tell Lloyd that I was just getting a little homesick, that's all."
Lloyd turned to the summoner in amazement. "Oh, was that why you've been so moody today?"
Sheena lied and murmured a "yes". Colette smiled and grabbed the ninja's arm in a friendly gesture. "Don't worry, you'll be back to Mizuho in no time. To tell you the truth, I miss Iselia too! We can be homesick together, okay?"
The ninja managed to smile, a real smile at the younger girl. How much she wished she was that innocent! "Thank you, Colette," she turned to face both of them. "I think I will stay out here for a while longer, go on ahead."
The two walked on and glanced back at her as she urged them to continue with a small reassuring nod. Soon, even her two friends were gone from her sight. She sighed to herself.
"Always trying to act tough, right Sheena? Can't you just tell the truth for once?" She teased herself.
Lloyd and Colette had each other. Who did she have? No one. What did she have to live for? Mizuho, that's her only reason for living now. The village where her Grandpa would welcome her back with opened arms. Yes... back to Grandpa. Back to being a young girl in her Grandpa's arms once more.
This gave her hope until she faced the sky again to spot one last bird flying. Perhaps, this bird was lost from its group. Just like Zelos. No one understood him and he was always lost until his own demise. Sheena placed her hands on top of her heart where the exsphere stood in between. Closing her eyes carefully, she said softly, "protect me, Zelos. Keep on watching over me."
To her surprise, she thought she heard the river's voice talked to her. It only said one word:
Sheena.
If should I leave this lonely world behind.
Your voice will still remember our melody.
Now I know we'll carry on.
Melodies of Life.
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts, as long as we
remember.
If not for Lloyd caring for her that day in Heimdall, she would have lost all hope in herself. Yes, she would keep on living for Mizuho, she once said. Even if by Mizuho, she meant Grandpa. Chief Igaguri was no longer alive. Zelos was no longer alive. Sheena held back a moan of despair passing by her lips, for she knew that letting out this desperation was not going to help anyone and caused wasteful energy within her. On the side of the small island, Sheena grew restive and insatiable of the decisions in her life. Sniffling back emotions, she wanted something indolent and solaced her body.
Sheena stepped toward the moving body of water, her eyes focused. Collapsing on her knees, her head tilted downwards as if too large for her body to hold. The new moon was still hidden in the clouds above and soon, evening would come to a close and open for the night. The myriad twinkling dots scattered throughout the sky, already making their appearance for those dared to gaze upon them.
No vitriolic words would cause her so much pain as the words he left her with. The words he left to support her with. Far below her sad expression, the summoner struggled for the actions she must display. Zelos left her heartbreaking words while her Grandpa left her without a single good-bye.
Her last hope was Lloyd, that fatuous swordsman she considered as a friend. Much to her disappointment, in the aura of all this darkness, he was nowhere to be seen. Sheena quietly peered down into the reflection of herself. In just a few minutes, her hair had grown messy. The darker shadows transmitted from the trees caused her skin to lose its radiant glow and now, she was just a lonely person in the worlds, covered up from everything else.
Sheena's attention perked when she heard a faint noise. As she moved her eyes around her, she knew she had mistaken. The only things she saw were: birds, river, trees, an island, and her reflection.
Cold water, covered by the moonlight, was ever so still. Like a washing maiden, she swept her right hand down into the liquid and felt it against her fingers. They tickled her so as she leaned her head lower, closer to the river. She was close enough to touch the river's surface with the tip of her nose if moved.
Something blurred in the river's surface, shifting the atmosphere of the vision and changing the colors to a shockingly inferior image. The shapes and colors blended out in a twisted way and turned into a fuzzy mirage. This was when Sheena opened her sad pools of water, dripping from the inside a misery of cascading waterfall. Everything grew important and old.
The trails of liquid found its way down the corners of her translucent eyes and slid tightly against the bridge of her nose. It was like a viper slithering down slope with its tail entangled around the mountain's peak. Some stayed on the tip of black long eyelashes. The leftover water on her skin felt heavier by the seconds it took for the droplet to made its journey into the river. The flames busted inside her body as other trails found its way down with the first. At last, the sparkling liquid stopped to a halt above her lips, over the top, and hung there like a crystallize droplet.
Her eyes burned with a passion for they were as pink as the skin of a new lotus blossoming above the water. Meanwhile, her nose grew crimson, shiny and tainted. The nose no longer let her breath, leaving her mouth the service of doing so. The rhythm of her shaking hand matched perfectly with her trembling lips.
Slowly Sheena dropped her eyelids and felt the stiffness of her head, similar to the frozen curve of her back. Heat traveled south to the bottom of her feet. Pink cheeks, red and stuffed nose, hardened face and back, trembling hands and lips, watery eyelashes, and closed marbles were taking her appearance.
The crystallize droplet fell into one silent drip. There was no other noise. Silence at last. The current of the flowing river forever took the tears. Everything went along with it except her body and soul.
"Sheena!" There was a familiar scream ringing from above.
Everlasting voice calling out her name. Sheena gasped and struggled to open her eyelids. There was no oxygen for her to inhale, thus no ability to flutter her orbs to see the atmosphere around her. A very faint image, indeed. In that vision behind her mind, there was only a red bird flying aside a white one. The two creatures soared from where the skies would last. Finally, she will join them. She will keep on playing her harmony with Zelos as well as her Grandpa.
"Zelos..." Her heart sang, fluttering at the thought.
"Sheena..." His voice whispered her name ever so gently with the water's depth.
The pressure pulled her down lower and lower in the mist of blue. Shakily, she reached out her strong hand up to the surface of the river. The many voices of the river mixed into a harmonic song. Oh, a melody as well.
"If something were to happen to me, I'll always be with you. I'll always call out for you. I promise to be with you forever."
"Sheena!" Two voices called out loudly in unison.
I will become a bird to come back, to visit the one I love, and to protect her forever.
"Sheena!" Another two different voices above cried, "Sheena!"
"If you were really gone, Zelos, I would go with you!"
"Sheena, where are you? Please answer us!" That last voice... It can't it be... Lloyd?
Thank you Zelos. I'll always be your harmony because you are my melody. Let us remember.
The voices stopped. Everything brought to a halt.
However, the river kept on flowing. The birds kept on flying. Just the cycle of life.
Just another melody.
Ending Notes:
Yes, it wasn't the happy ending one-shot I spoke of before. I lost inspiration for that one-shot for the moment but I was really worked up on this angst one ever since I read such another angst one-shot by a wonderful writer and then, a fanfic by Kitten Kisses (thanks for the update!), it just drove me to this work today. Then again, I did a little crying before this... for personal reasons I could not reveal... and that really got me to complete this fic. I hope it was nearly as good as I thought it was.
This is the ending for all of you who didn't get it: Sheena committed suicide by drowning herself, but she kept on hearing and remembering Zelos until the end when she finally recognized Lloyd's voice calling out for her. Of course, all the other voices before belonged to the other members of the eight (Colette, Presea, Genis, Raine, Regal). That wasn't hard to explain was it?
Thank you for all the support! You guys are always the motivation for my Sheelos work! I can't express how much every review means to me. I wish I can personally each and every one of you, but I can't. The best I can do is to write and read your profile/writings as well. Just tell me if any of the scenes were awkward or incomprehensible so I can try to improve, okay? Any comments will help. Minnie loves you so R & R!
