MEGAMAN X4 SUPERCONDENSED
Maverick Hunters
"We're not evil."
Repliforce
"Neither are we."
Capcom
"This isn't going anywhere."
Sigma
"I'm evil! Use me!"
Sigma goes to meet with GENERAL.
Sigma
"Destroy the humans!"
General
"No."
Sigma
"Damn!"
Sigma, WILY AS EVER, tries something else, and sends KING DRAGON plus a whole bunch of MAVERICKS to the SKY LAGOON. Lots of ALARMS go off, and MEGA MAN X rushes to the scene, while ZERO is having FUNKY DREAMS.
Dr. Wily
"Zero…I am your father."
Zero
"Oh, shit."
Zero wakes up and goes to HELP X. However, Sky Lagoon CRASHES because Magma Dragoon is a DICK, and so the Hunters look for SURVIVORS.
Iris
"I think I broke a nail."
Suddenly King Dragon ATTACKS, but he is SLAIN, and then COLONEL shows up to talk to X and Zero.
Colonel
"I'm here to save my sister."
X
"Yeah, sure, let's see some ID."
Colonel
"How dare you! We prefer war over dishonor and shame!"
Colonel meets General to deliver the BAD NEWS.
Colonel
"We're being sacrificed in the name of a plotline."
General
"Excellent! Rally the troops!"
Repliforce declares INDEPENDENCE.
Sigma
"Tee hee."
The Hunters SCRAMBLE to stop the newest threat. X gets a NEW PARTNER.
Double
"Does this game make me look fat?"
Meanwhile Zero gets some UNEXPECTED HELP.
Iris
"Please stop fighting."
Zero
"Sorry Mary Jane. Plotline and all that."
X and Zero run through the MAVERICK LAIRS, slaying the REBELLIOUS REPLIFORCE CAPTAINS and the VILLAINOUS MAVERICKS.
Bosses
"Hey, we have lines this time!!!"
X and Zero are sure they are VERY NICE LINES, but they still WIPE THE FLOOR with four of the eight bosses.
Zero
"…did I really call Iris Mary Jane?"
Suddenly Colonel summons Zero to MEMORIAL HALL.
Colonel
"Wassaaaap?"
Zero
"Wazzaaaaaapppp???"
Iris
"Knock it off!"
Colonel
"Fine, but next time, there will be no mercy!" (He leaves.)
X and Zero handle the remaining enemies. During this X draws on power from DR. LIGHT'S CAPSULES, which are played by JACKIE GLEASON.
Dr. Light
"Not one, not two, but THREE! THREE of my special armor sets you've gone and LOST like they were just toys! I'll tell ya, one of these days, X, one of these days…TO THE MOON!"
The Hunters suddenly realize that the Repliforce is gathering at the SPACEPORT. Zero busts through the defenses and meets Colonel.
Zero
"Wassaaap!"
Colonel
"Wazzaaaaaa!"
Zero
"WASSAAAAAAAAAAP!"
Colonel
"Ack!" (Dies)
X and Zero go into space after Repliforce, leaving Double in charge, like IDIOTS.
Jenny Craig
"In just one month, you could lose 90 pounds! Just look at this man."
Double SLIMS DOWN into JELLO MAN, and goes MEDIEVAL on X's unit.
Double
"Results not typical."
X and Zero go into OUTER SPACE and enter the dastardly FINAL WEAPON. They quickly get lost and wander into IDENTICAL ROOMS. X encounters DOUBLE, who he fights and DEFEATS. Meanwhile, Zero finds IRIS.
Zero
"Nice shoes, wanna f—"
Iris
"No."
They fight. Zero KILLS HER.
Zero
"NOOO WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOR?"
Sigma
"I don't know, but it reminds me of that one time you messed all that shit up."
A CUTSCENE plays, in which Zero MESSES A LOT OF SHIT UP.
Zero
"I may have been a Maverick but you still suck donkeys!"
X, on the other hand, has been wasting time with GENERAL.
General
"Viva la resistance!"
They fight, and General LOSES, probably because he spoke FRENCH. Suddenly Final Weapon MYSTERIOUSLY ACTIVATES. X rushes off and finds Zero and together they encounter SIGMA, who is dressed up like THAT GUY FROM SCARY MOVIE.
X
"I LOVED that movie!"
Sigma
"Oh? Hey, remember that part when the guy got zoinked in his ear—" (He suddenly remembers that he has EVIL to be doing.) "Prepare to become space dust!"
They fight a CLIMACTIC BATTLE, and Sigma CATCHES ON FIRE.
Sigma
(Ringwraith) "SHRIEEEEEK!" (Dies)
Just when all seems well, Sigma RETURNS as an UGLY HEAD WITH DREADLOCKS and a big thing with a KLINGON FACE.
Sigma
"I'm a schizophrenic and so am I."
They FIGHT. X and Zero WIN.
Sigma
"HAHA IM GONNA BLOW UP EARTH ANYWAY! YOU SUX0RZ!" (Dies)
General
"This quest for a plot has gone much too far. I will end it here." (Dies.)
X and Zero ESCAPE from Final Weapon, just as it EXPLODES due to General's SACRIFICE. On the way back they REFLECT on life and related issues.
Zero
"Did we Reploids all turn out to be Mavericks after all? Nah, its gotta just be me…"
X
"If I become a Maverick, you have to destroy me."
Zero
"Shit shit shit shit shit!"
THE CREDITS ROLL.
