MEGAMAN X6 SUPERCONDENSED
The Earth has finally gone to SHIT. A large flaming SPACE THINGY has OWNED it.
Sephiroth
"Buhahahaha…wooohahahahahaaaa…oops, wrong game."
POLLUTION has spread, with the help of the SIGMA VIRUS, because this UNHOLY COMBINATION somehow makes global pollution on a level that can flatten every city on earth POSSIBLE.
Ozone Layer
"Who's laughing now, bitches?"
The world desperately tries to COLLECT ITS SHIT.
Humans
"Go fix our planet, slaves."
Reploids
"K."
Meanwhile no one knows where ZERO is, but if you played X5 you SHOULD know, Zero GOT HIS IZZLE FO-SHIZZLED by good old WAREHOUSE SIGMA.
X
(Moody Blues) I know you're out there somewhere…
The world needs CAPTAIN PLANET, he's a HERO, but instead they get GATE.
Gate
"Hum dum de dum…oh look, a plot!"
Gate takes the plot HOME and UP AND DECIDES to create a Reploid UTOPIA.
Dr. Doppler
"Gate is me. I am Gate. Think about it."
Signas
"Japanese words!"
Alia
"More Japanese words!"
Douglas
"Technical Japanese words!"
America
"WTF?"
And then, out of NOWHERE…
Nightmare Zero
(Agent Smith) "Miiiiister Megaman. Surprised to see me…?"
Isoc
"No way am I letting that plothole run loose. I will resist."
He DOES, using eight SUPER ADVANCED SCARY REVIVED REPLOIDS, like the WATERFLEA.
Infinity Mijinion
"Don't diss the flea, dude."
X fights AGAINST Isoc and in the meantime encounters the ZILLIONS OF ZERO VIRUS PARTICLES that have CORRUPTED people.
Nightmare Zero
"Me, me, me!"
They FIGHT. The REAL ZERO comes. X is obviously very HAPPY. No, like, H-A-P-P-Y.
Zero
"I had to hide while I repaired myself."
Capcom
"Oh yeah, direct quote!"
X fights some more and meets HIGH MAX.
High Max
"The first part of my name is actually an adjective."
Just when the game looks safe, DYNAMO comes back.
Dynamo
"I will kill you! Actually, I will run away now!" He does.
Alia
"OMG its Gate!"
Gate
"Fu fu fu! My fiendish plan is unleashed and no one can find me, unless you accept this direct invitation to come where I live!"
The Hunters go after Gate in his IMPENETRABLE FORTRESS OF DOOM, but they cannot get past STAGE ONE because there is NO WAY PAST THE SPIKES.
Dr. Light
"And you thought you'd exclude me from this supercondensation. Fool."
X gets the SHADOW ARMOR, which is bullshittingly MANDATORY, and they meet GATE.
Alia
"Jerk!"
Gate
"Go insane with me!"
Alia
"No!"
They all fight. Gate CONFOUNDS the Hunters with his tactics but a few Gameshark codes later he FALLS.
X
"The game is over!"
Zero
"What about Isoc?"
Isoc
"Blarg, I'm dead." (He is)
X
"Now the game is over!"
Gate
"Crap, we forgot about Sigma. I'll bring him back for you." (Dies)
Tourettes Sigma
"I'm BaaAAAaaAAAcKKK SHRIMP TOAST!"
Zero
"I killed you, Mister Sigma, I watched you die. But something happened that I…knew was impossible but yet it happened anyway…you destroyed me, Mister Sigma."
Sigma
"SAND DUNES!"
They fight. Sigma becomes old and scary like STROM THURMOND, but is killed with PATHETIC EASE.
Sigma
"I WILL BE BACK LOL! BELGIAN TACOS!" (Dies)
X
"How does he go from Warehouse Sigma to N00B Sigma?"
The game is over but the world is NOT…SAVED AT ALL. In fact it is STILL POLLUTED and very little has been accomplished to SPEAK OF.
Zero
"This place smells like ass. Shadow Man, put me in this capsule so I can wake up for my own series, except for when I star in X7."
X
"Where is Zero, who we just fought a war to save?"
Alia
"Who cares, let's go put Gate's corpse in my closet." They do.
Revokov
"I want my money back."
THE END
