Hey, thanks to all who reviewed! Sorry about the time between updates, we're writing these in the majority during boring classes at school so updates will only come about once a week.
Lady Nicole Potter- FIRST REVEIWER!!! !Confetti falls from the sky and patriotic music plays! WOOOO! Ahem, so, yah. Thank you for your review. As for your questions, Will is coming in later in the story, but he may be mistreated due to our distaste for him. We'll not talk about !shivers! her. She will not be in this story.
Pirate-Rose- Of course you're not. Only a loser would do something like that. And I don't know if that captain girl is cool, she seems a bit dorky to me. Ah, well, whatever floats your boat.
Spizzy the Headless Spaz- Your review made me smile. Thanks!
hotdogfish- Hahaha, yes, the writers of this story have to SO agree on that point. They rock harder than minerals! (lol, geology humour...) Thank you for your review!
Disclaimer: We don't own POTC, Wayne's World or Rach. We should though, if Meaghan ever gets her agent back. Oh, but we do own the school, mainly because we had no idea what her school was like, so we built an imaginary one.
With a dark slit sheer through the bosom spot,
And the lace stiff, dry in a purplish blot,
Oh, was she wench or some shudderin' maid,
That dared the knife and took the blade?
By God! She had stuff for a plucky jade!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
(Jack's POV)
The light of day hit my eyelids and I scrunched them up. I had a splitting headache. Last night must have been wilder than I thought...I couldn't remember a single thing about the night before and my mind was a blurry haze, even compared to usual. I also had pains around my neck and my nose. I wish I could remember what happened. I thought I heard voices around me and opened my eyes...
"AHHHHHHH!!!!"
(Cady's POV)
"He's still asleep?" Megi and I were kneeling on either side of Captain Jack Sparrow, who we had dragged into his cabin the night before on finding that we couldn't lift him AND all the grog he had consumed. We were watching him sleep, which in retrospect was kind of creepy, but at the time seemed like a suitable substitute for watching TV. "I thought pirates 'woke with the sun' and all that."
"Well he was completely wasted, then deprived of air, THEN smacked unconscious with a weapon made of foam. It was a rough night for him." Jack moved a bit and I looked down.
"I guess so. Hey do you think he's waking-"
"Shhhh..." It was too late, he had opened his eyes.
"AHHHHHHH!!!!"
It was strangely amusing to see all the memories of the night before rushing into the pirate's brain all at once. I wonder if it hurt.
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO WENCHES...AHHH, HEADACHE!"
Yyyyyyep.
We staggered to our feet as Jack sat up laboriously. "YE took over me ship? Me crew's worse than I thought." I looked at him murderously. "Though you're obviously...very capable...pirates?" I smiled and nodded happily. I love when I have that effect on people. "Sooo..." he continued, a slight grin on his face, "if you two took over, who be the captain?" Oh, he was good. Trying to pit us against each other? He must have been cleverer than I thought. But it wasn't going to work this time.
"Megi here," I pointed to her and she gave a little wave, "will be acting captain. I am her first mate. Ye'll have the honourary title o' Co-captain, but ye'll have no power 'till we be sure ye can be trusted." Jack stood up and looked a little confused.
"And the rest of yer crew is..."
"Scattered. We have te go gather 'em up. That be our first order of business. Our first stop: England!" I tried to get him excited about the trip. He just looked a little frightened.
"England, lass? D'ye know what they do te pirates in England? We'll be tarred, feathered then hanged if we're lucky. Unless-" He looked at us suspiciously, "yer part of the King's navy!" He reached to his belt to grab his sword, which we had conveniently taken away (along with the loose change in his pockets). Seriously, we're not THAT stupid.
I rolled my eyes. "Calm down, schizo. We're not going to Golden Age England. We be goin' te modern England."
Jack looked thoroughly confused. "Either way, how d'ye expect us te get there?"
Megi and I looked at each other and grinned. "Through the MAGIC OF FANFICTION!" We made motions with our fingers in front of our faces as if miming rain, a la Wayne's World. "Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo..."
!POOF!
In seconds, the Black Pearl simply disappeared from the water, leaving only a few confused seagulls and a gaping plot hole in its wake.
Hundreds of miles and years later, a large, conspicuous old-time boat mysteriously appeared in a dock someplace in England. Off it stepped two girls and a man, all dressed in pirate clothing. Passers by either thought that they were going crazy or that there was some kind of historical re-enactment going on. Either way, no one bothered to talk to the strange people standing on the dock looking completely lost.
"Okay...we're here...where do we go now?"
"Ummm, I don't know. It's around noon, so she'll probably be in school."
"Who?" Jack asked, looking from me to Meg.
Meg smiled. "Rach, our sharpshooter!"
"Where's her school?"
"Well, I have directions written on my hand-" She extended her hand to show me smudged directions written on her palm in purple marker.
"Oh, this is gonna be fun."
xXTen Minutes LaterXx
The three of us were crammed in the backseat of a cab, Meg extending her arm to the front seat so that the cabdriver could use her scribbles as a reference. Jack and I were having a fulfilling conversation about general pirate techniques over her back.
"I prefer the 'Capture the Captain' method. Most crews want to be all heroic and save them."
"'T won't always work, mate. What if the captain be strong enough to escape an' he runs ye through?"
"Well it worked with your ship, aye?"
"Grrr..." Jack reached over Meg in a rather hostile manner as I giggled to myself and pulled faces.
"Hey, you two cut it out. We're almost there...I think."
About half an hour later, we came to the driveway of a huge, ancient looking building. Meg and Jack got out and walked towards it, but I had to stay and deal with an angry cabbie who turned a bit sour when he found out we could only pay him in pieces of eight. "This is enough...right?"
(Megi's POV)
Jack and me looked up at the building.
"Wow."
I looked up at the windows and saw Rach through one on the third story.
"RACH! RACH!" I screamed and jumped up and down, waving my arms over my head. She didn't look down.
"The window's closed, luv."
"Thanks. I noticed." I pouted and pondered how we were going to get her out of there. Suddenly, there was a !THUMP! and the squealing of tires behind us. We turned around to see Cady getting up and brushing herself off, the taxi speeding away into the horizon.
"I think I straightened him out."
"Mmmhmm..." She walked up beside me and looked at the building.
"Wow."
(Cady's POV)
It was the second time in as many days that I had given Megi a lift. She reached up high and managed to grab hold of a ledge and pull herself onto it. She nimbly climbed the building using broken stones and ivy until she was on the same ledge as the window Rach was behind, but a few windows over. As she struggled to sidle along the edge, a girl poked her head out of a window and stared at Meaghan with a mix of confusion and horror on her face. "WHAT? YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A PIRATE CLIMB A BUILDING IN A DRESS BEFORE?" The girl darted back into the window and closed it with a !SNAP!
"Just a few more inches! Don't fall! Look how high up you are!" I yelled helpfully. Meg leaned over and stuck her tongue out at me, but leaned a little too far. She began to wave her arms frantically in a very comical fashion in an attempt to keep her balance. She failed and began plummeting towards certain death.
"HOLY SHIT!"
"I'll catch you!" I ran under her falling body with my arms outstretched...!SPLAT! "Owwwww..."
"GUYS! I almost died, but something squishy broke my fall...oh, sorry, Ironfist."
"Just get OFF ME!" I lay on the ground in self-pity for a few seconds then got up. "So...what now?" Jack got a devilish gleam in his eye. I got a little scared.
xXTen Minutes LaterXx
"RACH! RACH!"
!BOING!
"RACH! RACH!"
!BOING!
"RA-"
"Luv, the window's still closed."
"Oh, right."
Meg was jumping on the giant trampoline that we had recently...acquired...trying to get high enough to get level with the window. When she got level, she was supposed to get on the ledge then get Rach through the window, where they would both jump down on to the trampoline.
"I think I saw this plan on the Bugs Bunny show." I muttered.
"What about a rabbit, luv?"
"Erm...nothing."
Megi was getting higher and higher and the altitude seemed to be getting to her head. "Hey, I can see Canada from here!"
!BOING!
"No you can't"
!BOING!
"Oh, you're right. It's a tree."
!BOING!
I sighed and shook my head. Then I realized something. I looked one way down the street. Then the other. There was absolutely no one on the road at all. Creepy.
"Look guys! I'm a bird!" Meg was now flapping her arms like wings.
"Stop it. You'll throw off your centre of balance."
"Will not." !BOING!
"Will too." !BOING!
"Will- AHHH!" Meg bounced sideways off the trampoline and landed on me with a !SPLAT!
"I really should have seen that coming."
"What are you saying?"
"Huh?"
"Are you saying I'm fat?"
"No, I'm saying you're practically a glowing, throbbing ball of death."
Meg pondered this for a second. "Oh. Okay."
"Tha' still doesn't solve our problems, mates. How're we gonna get this Rach out of prison?"
Meg and me looked confused for a second. "Prison?" Then we looked at the school and laughed.
"Uh, is anyone goin' te explain why this is so funny?" Jack questioned.
"No, it's better this way."
I studied the intimidating stone building. "I guess if we can't get her from the outside, we'll have to go in."
"And ye think they'd just leave the door wide open, mate?"
I walked over and gave the door handle a gentle tug. It practically opened on it's own. I turned to Jack and raised an eyebrow. He grumbled as he walked by me into the building, I held it for Meg then followed them in.
We walked down the hallway, looking for a stairwell. "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for meeeee..."
"Jack, shush!"
"Sorry, mate."
The clicking of heels could be heard coming around the corner.
"Quick, in here."
We ducked into an empty classroom and waited for the teacher to pass by. When she was gone completely, we slunk back into the hallway and continued down the hall and around the corner.
"The stairs!"
"SHUSH!"
"ACK!"
Megi pulled me and Jack behind a vending machine "Enough of this. I hate hiding."
"Cady, seriously, shut up."
Three students came into view, two female, one male, all wearing the school's rather spiffy uniform.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Meg?"
"Ohhh yeah!"
xXFive Minutes LaterXx
Meg brushed off her hands and smiled. The three students struggled against their bonds; the vending machine cord, which was wrapped around them, and the girls' hair, which we had tied together. "Job well done."
Jack looked as excited as a kid at Disneyland. "Can we do that again?"
"Maybe later. Right now we've got to go save Rach."
We ran up the stairs and looked through the doors of each classroom...one, two, three, four...Ahah!
I opened the door and we stepped in, our swords (well, one sword, one foam sword and one imaginary sword) drawn.
"Everyone quiet! We're taking over the class!"
The teacher executed some sort of 'duck and cover' manoeuvre, probably taught her during the Cold War days. Some of the class looked stunned into silence, some just looked happy their class was disrupted, and one was amazingly happy.
"MEGI!"
"RACH!"
The two girls hugged. Then Megi introduced her to Jack and me.
"You look strangely familiar, lass." (Hahaha, I'll bet she does.)
I looked at the class and noticed that a few of them were whispering and the teacher was coming out from under her desk.
"Um, guys? I think it's time for our daring escape."
We ran down the stairs and out into the school parking lot.
"MOTORINI!!!" (I love Italian class.)
"What?"
"Mopeds! Look there's four. This is just creepy."
We each got on a moped and started them (Yes, without keys. We're just that special.).
"Follow me, I remember where the docks are."
"Wait, we're trusting you?"
"Well, I'm the captain."
"That just sent a shiver up my spine."
Meaghan stuck her tongue out at me and started off down the road. Rach followed close after.
"How d'ye work one o' these things?"
"Just...do what we do." I followed Meg and Rach down the road, and I guess Jack figured it out because he was behind me in a couple seconds.
"This is great fun, mates!"
"Yeah, Jack, just stay on this side of the road, okay?"
xXHalf An Hour LaterXx
"Ooooooo...it looks bigger close up."
"Yyyyep. She's a beaut. Well, all aboard!"
We all went up onto the Black Pearl; Rach was poking everything in sight.
"Ummm, Rach, What're you doing?"
"I want to be sure it's real..."
Ahah. "So where to next, Cap'n?"
"Welland!"
"Uh huh, and how are we getting there?"
She pondered this for a moment. "The magic of fanfiction?" She did the rain-mime thing again. "Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo..."
...PAUSE...
"I guess we used it all up. Well, we'll have to sail across the Atlantic. So, what're you lubbers waitin' for? Get this tub ready te sail!"
Jack looked hurt. "Tub? What're ye callin' a tub, lass? Th' Pearl is the finest ship e'er te sail the bloomin' seas an' ye called 'er a TUB!?!"
"Fine then. Get this SHIP ready to sail. Is that better?"
"You didn't apologize to her."
"WHAT?!?!"
"Apologize!"
"Ugh, fine. Sorry...ship. Is that better?"
Jack nodded happily.
"Alrighty then, LET'S GO!"
"YEA!!!" We all rushed to get the ship ready...
"Ummm, does anyone know how to work this thing?"
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GAH! That was a long chapter; the next one will probably be longer, though. In other news, REVIEW!!!!!!! That is all.
