Heh, heh !sheepish laugh! So, we didn't update for a while, but you see, math kept getting harder and harder so we had less and less time and…well, no more excuses. I'm updating now. As a bonus, I will from now on ask someone for a random word and incorporate it wherever possible in the story. This chapter's word: purple. Now onto reviews.
hotdogfish- Well, you could always check the review page. Thanks for the review
Lady Nicole Potter- Hahaha. It was rather rainy here this year, and I simply didn't feel like dealing with it in a world in which I could control the weather. Thanks for the suggestion, that will definitely be in the next chapter!
Disclaimer: We own nothing but ourselves. Which sounds rather philosophical.
For me, my craft is sailing on,
Through mists to-day, clear seas anon.
Whate'er the final harbor be
'Tis good to sail upon the sea!
- John Kendrick Bangs
(Meg's POV)
After whacking Rach over the head and setting her off to do some chore or another to keep her busy, Cady and I managed to get the Pearl out to sea before Jack had even figured out what happened. After watching the receding shore for a while, he turned around, apparently confused that we actually knew how to be proper pirates.
He looked at me suspiciously, "Luv, do ye just pretend to be stupid?"
I shook my head, "No, I'm actually stupid. But any idiot with three sixteenths of a brain can captain a boat."
Jack held up an index finger in correction. "Ship."
Shrugging, I turned around and started to walk towards Cady who was trying to show Rach how to safely into the rigging instead of scurrying up like a monkey like she usually does. "Whatever."
Jack jumped in front of me, "Not 'whatever', luv! The Pearl be me pride an' joy an' I won't 'ave ye-"
"Blah, blah, blah." I put my hands on my hips, attempting to look fearsome and failing miserably. "Get to work."
He crossed his arms defiantly and I glared at him…being tall has its advantages. I was barely shorter than him, almost eye level.
He glared right back. "An' how do ye plan on makin' me do that, luv?"
I shifted my eyes to the side of his face, where Cady had come up unnoticed behind him and was fulfilling her title as Ironfist the Enforcer. She slipped the red velvet glove from her right hand and touched the steel of her prosthetic limb to his face. I watched amused as realization filled Jack's eyes, then smirked as the cold iron moved down his cheek, causing him to shudder.
"Like that."
Comically squeezing his eyes shut, Jack waited for what he thought would be a blow that would send him face down into the deck. Locking eyes with Cady for a minute, I nodded, then leaned against the rail lazily as an insane grin lit up Cady's face the instant before she whipped Jack's hat off his head.
He must have had automatic hat-wearing sensors. How else could he have known the second she took it?
"Me hat!"
He leapt for it, but Cady simply stepped to the side and dodged him. After a few more pathetic attempts, he looked at me like a little lost puppy.
"Luv! She won't give me back me hat!"
I glanced at him from examining my nails. "You sound like a two year old."
"I don't care. Make 'er give it back!"
"Hmmm, but I thought I couldn't make anyone do anything?"
He looked as if he were going to say something, but stopped, looking defeated. I smirked.
Cady elbowed him. "Say sorry to 'er."
"But I didn't do nothin' to 'er!"
"You made me apologize to a ship! Your apology makes a lot more sense!"
She elbowed him again "Say it."
"No."
"Say it."
"No!"
"Say it or else!" With these words she held his precious hat over the side of the gun wall.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
Cady gave him his hat back, which he began petting…quite psychotically I might add.
xXSome Random Time Period LaterXx
I watched the shore advancing as we sailed into the Welland Canal, assuming that the small crowd gathered on the dock meant that my crew had received the message in a gourd (bwahaha) that I'd attached to a passing seagull, telling them to meet us here.
Jack obviously hadn't noticed them there yet. He's slow like that. He tapped Cady on the shoulder, "Lass, ye can't expect us te sail through this narrow passage with only the…" he counted on his fingers, "four of us, can ye? Where's yer crew?"
!PLANK!
"OW!"
"Well move your foot next time. Jack, I swear, watching over a deranged chicken is easier than looking after you."
Rach climbed down from the rigging and stood beside me and Cady at the end of the plank that had been placed between the gap of ship and shore, watching as my loyal crew proceeded onto the Pearl.
First came Sugar Marshmallow, ship's cook, with her assistant, Cookie. As Sugar and Cookie (hehe…sugar cookie…yummmm) boarded, Sugar brandishing a wooden spoon, Cookie clutching a broom, a burst of nonsense lyrics broke out. Tabi, screeching/singing loudly skipped aboard, went straight for the mast and scurried up into the crow's nest. I walked over and looked up at her.
"I thought we locked you in that chicken coop?"
"Bawk, Bawk! Chicken, Chicken!"
"Are you going to stay up there for the whole trip again?"
I never got an answer, she just started rocking back and forth and whistling. I went back over to Rach, Cady and Jack. Cady was shaking her head at the other two. "Don't ask."
Next in our little parade of crew came my two cabin girls, Veronica and Monica, leading up a girl in chains. Jack looked confused as they passed. Cady motioned to the girl, who gave a little smile and a wave.
"That's prisoner #15."
"Uh…what happened to te first 14, luv?"
Cady and I glanced at each other, grinned, and Cady began laughing evilly. I shook my head at Jack, "Again, don't ask. You might get an answer."
After some crates and bungs of supplies had been brought on board, our navigator, The Brain, and our lookout, The Salty Pirate Gomes, carried a huge wooden chest, which was painted gold and covered in plastic jewels. Jack looked at it suspiciously.
"Why's it bigger than the other boxes, luv?
Cady patted the lid of the chest affectionately. "That's just my minion. He doesn't need a box this big, but we like to make him feel special." The two crew(wo)men brought the chest down to the galley.
"SQUACK!"
Jack jumped about a foot high. "Wha' the 'ell was' at?!"
"Bilgerat!" A multicoloured parrot flew out of nowhere (which, I might add, has great tourist accommodations) and landed on Ironfist's shoulder. She fed the parrot a chicken burger, which the parrot swallowed whole (little cannibal!). "This is my Bilgerat."
"But it's a parrot, lass."
"Aye."
"Ye said it was a rat!"
"Bilgerat's her name you illiterate sea cucumber!"
"Cady, be nice. And I don't think he's illiterate, considering he read the 'Pirates ye be Warned' sign."
"Good point."
"'Ey, 'ow d'ye know about that, luv?"
"I'm your stalker. Now hush."
"Cap'n…if Bilgerat is here, then where's…"
"MONKEY!"
I waited for my loyal pet to jump on my shoulder. I waited. And waited. And waited some more.
"Oh, Bloody 'ell! GET THIS BEAST OFF ME!"
(Cady's POV)
"She's just hugging you, Jack. Calm down."
"But wha' if she has fleas, or rabies, or summat?"
Megi slapped him upside the head. "She does not. Come here, Jazz."
"Jack?! You named the monkey JACK!?!"
"She said Jazz. Keep your psychopathic ramblings to a minimum, please, and maybe help load some cargo if you're so inclined." I shoved a large crate of oranges into his arms. "Those go in the forcastle. Now."
Soon all the supplies were in their place, but I couldn't help feeling something was missing.
"Could someone pant help me pant with this BLOODY CANNON?!?"
"Oh! Bitty! There you are!"
"Yeah, sorry I'm late, but I had to move these." She motioned behind her to what appeared to be the contents of an eighteenth century armoury.
"Ooooo!" I squealed and rubbed my hands together. "You got ALL of it?"
"Every last cannonball." Bitty, our gun(wo)man looked very proud of herself.
"Very good. Everyone, let's get these on board, then prepare for sail." Every one stared blankly at Meg's attempt to wield power. I decided to step in.
"NOW!" People scurried all over the ship and began hauling weaponry and lines, and raising the sails.
"Lass…where d'you keep all those armaments?"
"It's better that you don't know. If you don't know, you won't have to lie to the government."
"Oh, stop scaring him, Ironfist. Jack, check the sail attachment at the bowsprit. "
"Aye, Cap'n." Jack shuddered at his own words.
"Captain Megi?" A voice sifted down from the crow's nest.
"Aye, Gomes?"
"Do I have to stay up here with this…thing?"
"Never go fishing with a man who has been drinkin', cuz things just never turn out like you wish! Just leave that fool at home to drink, he'd be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink! Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish!!!!" Tabi was screech/singing her favourite nautical tune (The only one she knew, incidentally).
"Yes, Gomes, you do. Here, have these." She handed a little cellophane packet to Jazz who ran it up the mizzenmast into the crow's nest. The Salty Pirate Gomes opened it to reveal purple foamy earplugs.
"Oooo…gumdrops!" Tabi snatched them and popped them into her mouth. "Mmmmm…foam flavour! That's my favourite!"
"GAHHH!!!"
Megi looked up. "Keep it down up there, some of us are trying to work! Now let's get this baby out to sea. FULL POWER AHEAD!"
"Astern"
"Aye, ASTERN!"
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We like to call that the chicken chapter, as chicken is said an inordinate number of times. Go ahead, count. It's uncanny.
XOXO Ironfist and Cap'n Megi
