Well, now that exams are over, expect an influx of new chapters! (Hahaha, yeah right...) Really, school is hard, but March break is coming up so...maybe some more before the month is up. Aaaanyways, because I love my (2) reviewers, I've decided to use both of your random words: hbello and antidisestablishmentarianism (and confuzzled. Why not?). Moving right along,
Rachy (If I may call you that)- I feel like a celebrity has reviewed my story! hahah, yes. You may have to wait for quite a while because as of yet we have no plans to incorporate Will in to the story. Though we do have wonderful plans for Elizabeth (muahahaha...)
hotdogfish- I like the way you punctuate everything with a period. It makes me giggle a little. I like to imagine you saying "yay." in a very no nonsense voice, it brings light to my life.
Lady Nicole Potter- Hehehe, your reviews are the best. We used your idea but we...changed it. Just enough so you can't claim it was your own! Muahahaha... thanks for your review. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: We own stuff. Just not this stuff. So sue us...OH WAIT, YOU CAN'T, 'CUZ THERE'S A DISCLAIMER! So there.
Oh! 'Tis better to live and die
under the brave black flag I fly
than play a sanctimonious part
with pirate head and pirate heart.
-Pirates of Penzance, Gilbert and Sullivan
(Cady's POV)
We waited as the locks on the canal slowly lowered us down to the St. Lawrence River level. "This is taking too long." Jack was laying on the deck, squinting at the clouds. We were backing out of the Welland Canal and would soon be on our way to the ocean.
"Well I'm sorry they can't speed up gravity for you." Meg and Rach were playing a board game on a closed crate. "Ahah! King me!"
"Um, cap'n...we're playing chess..."
Sugar and I were having an epic thumb war a few feet away. "I've got you now!"
"Ow, ow, ow, noooooo!"
"...three, four, five. I win!" I did a little victory dance while Sugar nursed her thumb and grumbled.
"You wouldn't have won if you hadn't used your metal hand."
"What can I say, I'm right-handed." I slipped the velvet glove back on to my hand and started as we passed under a low bridge. "Oh!"
"We're on the river now, aye?" Jack sat up as the black bar of the bridge passed through the sky above him. I laughed a little at the black bars the caulk had left on his back and Meaghan gave me a withering look.
"Aye. Soon we'll be out to sea if these winds hold up."
"And... the Navy don't care tha' we're pirates? They ain't gonna get us?"
I snorted and pulled an apple from an open barrel on deck. "Are you kidding? Our Navy has 4 tugboats and a whistle. I'm sure we'll be okay." I took a big bite from the reddest side of the fruit and a river of sweet, shimmering liquid dribbled down my chin. (Hahaha, that's a bit of dirty talk for all you hardcore apple enthusiasts.)
"Check!" Rach exclaimed triumphantly, clicking her piece on to the board with a smug smile.
Meg frowned. "I think you mean checkmate."
Rach looked mildly confused. "That's what I said, check."
"Checkmate." Meg insisted, frustrated. Megi+ frustrated not good. I decided to intervene.
"Yes. And who's on first. Now can we get the sails up?
"Who's on first?"
"JUST PUT UP THE SAILS!"
xX(Sometime Thereafter)Xx
Jack stood on the prow of the boat sniffing the salty air. We were finally on the Atlantic Ocean and were headed down the Eastern seaboard. Jack raised his arms above his head and looked up at the sky. "I'm the king of the-mmfph!" Megi had clasped her hand firmly over his mouth (If anyone has read Savveyeh? and this seems familiar, it is. She totally stole it.)
"There'll be no copyright infringement on my ship!" I looked at her from hoisting some food up to Tabi and Gomes in the crow's nest.
"Your whole ship is a copyright infringement."
"Bah. There's a disclaimer. And it won't be gettin' longer on account a you, Jack Sparrow. Understood?" Jack's eyes had gotten really wide and he wasn't paying attention to what she was saying. "What? What is it?" He pointed at a midsize boat that was racing out towards them and Meaghan released him from her grip to pull an extending telescope from her belt.
"Look at 'er race! And she ain't got no sails!" He put the pieces together in his head. "DEMON SHIP!"
"No, not demon ship. It's the coast guard." Jack looked confused so she tried to explain. "It's like the King's Navy but, um..."
"Faster?" I tried to help.
"Faster is right, I bet it's faster than the Pearl!" We all turned to glare at Cookie (Our lovely chef's assistant, just in case you don't remember). "What?"
"Faster than the Pearl? We'll just see about that." Jack began adjusting the rigging and the sails and the ships began streaming along the water at a much quicker pace.
"Oh good lord. We're dead." Meg buried her face in her hands then looked up and yelled at Jack, who was now behind the ship's wheel, keeping the speeding boat steady. "Sparrow, you great fool! Look at the mess you've got us in!"
"Why? I thought Ironfist said the Navy was no threat to us?"
"That was the Canadian Navy. This is the Coast..." she paused, "...American Navy. They'll crush us!"
"Americans. Ruled by a man who loves himself and antidisestablishmentarianism."
"Ironfist, now is not the time for political statements or words over 26 letters, okay?" The Black Pearl was moving along at a fast click and it looked like we had lost the Coast Guard- for a second.
"FOREIGN SHIP," the Coast Guard was now directly beside us and a burly man with a megaphone was yelling up from the deck, "THIS IS THE UNITED STATES COAST GUARD. STOP IMMEDIATLY SO YOU CAN BE DETAINED FOR QUESTIONING." Jack wasn't having any of it. He climbed up into the sails and made few more adjustments, but the ship didn't go any faster.
"Damn. The Pearl can move twice this rate, but we'll need to throw heavy cargo overboard." He looked directly at Sugar. "Tha' means the machine you have what makes those cheese covered corn crisps."
"Not my nacho machine!" It was too late. Bitty, Minion and I were already heaving it over the gunwall. "Awwww." Jack was right; the ship doubled its pace, but the Coast Guard kept right up beside us.
"FOREIGN SHIP! RESPOND OR WE WILL OPEN FIRE!" Crewmen on the ship brought out a huge harpoon. Meaghan began panicking and yelled over the side of the ship.
"Hbello!" Everything went completely silent, everyone stopped moving and not even a seabird's call broke the air.
"...WHAT?" the man sounded confuzzled (Man, I love that word too) even through the megaphone.
"I mean hello...or ahoy...or, whatever won't get me shot!"
"THAT YOU SURRENDER?"
"Never!" Jack swung down from the ship on a long rigging rope and landed on the deck of the Coast Guard boat with a thud. Meaghan's eyes nearly popped out of her head as Jack whipped out his sword and began waving it in the burly man's face.
"Oh sweet lord..."
Jack was backing the man down the deck and he was becoming increasingly angry. Other crewmen began to realize what was going on and were reaching for their guns. Jack called out, "To me men! Um, crew!" I jumped at the chance for action and pulled out my sword with a flourish. I turned to Meg.
"I can see why you love that man." I vaulted over the gunwall with a loud battle cry.
"I don't love him! Who says I love him?"
"You do. All the time." Rach picked up a cutlass from the deck and swung down as well. Soon, all hands were on the coast guard ship and within minutes, we had their entire crew tied up on deck with the lifesaver rope. Meg's eyes were wide.
"Wow. We are good pirates."
"Aye, we be a stout-hearted bunch."
"Um, Ironfist? You don't have to talk like that."
"Oh." Meaghan patted me on the back compassionately.
"We better go. These things are like bees. Where there's one, there's lots more coming."
xX(Later that day)Xx
"So, where are we headed?" Meaghan looked over the rolling ocean of International Waters. The Brain had a bag of maps over her back and was trying to balance a few on the top of the rail.
"I'm thinking Thailand. I hear that's where all the cool pirates are going these days." She pointed to a place on the map but Meaghan wasn't looking.
"No, too fashionable."
"Ummmm, just to the Caribbean then?" She searched through her pile for a map of Central America.
"With all those bloody tourists?"
"I guess not..." The Brain looked through more maps while Meg kept grumbling about 'bloody tourists'. Then I had a brilliant idea. Nothing out of the ordinary.
"Why don't we go back in time, back to the Golden Age? When the Caribbean was good and pure and...full of gory death."
"Ah. 'Tis a wonderful place." Jack looked a bit homesick. Meaghan's little black heart broke in two.
"Then we shall go back!"
"Um, Captain?" The Brain spoke up. "How do you plan on getting there? You already used up the magic of fanfiction."
I smiled deviously. Meaghan got scared. "What?"
"The mafia."
(5006 seconds later)
"Thanks Pasquale!" I waved down at the old man in a suit looking quite out of place on a seadoo in the middle of the ocean in the mid seventeenth century.
"Caterina, call me Zio Pasqua, ah?"
"Si, Zio. Ciao!"
"Ciao, bella!" He powered up the motor and scooted up into the future. Meaghan was dumbfounded.
"I didn't know the mafia had the power to transport people back in time. Hell, I didn't even know you had mob connections."
"Meg, they're the friggin' mafia, they can do anything. And I'm Italo-Canadian. We all know each other.
Jack was happy as the proverbial clam over being back in his own time period. He flittered about the deck in a state of pure happiness. Meaghan's little black heart was healed.
"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me..." Megi began singing, and soon anyone who knew (or could fake) the words was singing along. I sidled up beside Meaghan.
"So, what now?"
"I dunno. The plot?
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So there you have it! We'll have another one for you by the end of the month, pinkie swear! Review or die! (But not really, duh!)
XOXO ITE and Cap'n Megi
