Summary: Lana's continuing investigation into the Smallville High cafeteria food.
A/N: This is the long awaited chapter where Lana gets slimed! Hope she isn't wearing anything that has to be dry cleaned! She may just have to throw her entire outfit away!
Disclaimer: As much as I love reading fan fiction, do you really think I would be writing here if I owned any part of Smallville? The characters & location are all borrowed from the WB…
The next morning, Lana decided that she needed to get input from the cafeteria employees. That way, if they had nothing of interest, she could spend more time digging and still make her deadline. But the question quickly became when…
Her free period was an hour before the first lunch period. She took the time and ran to the cafeteria. She wondered how she would start out the conversation. Did she come straight out and confront them about the awful food or should she be devious? These women dealt with teenagers every day. Being cute and flattering probably wasn't going to give her the information she needed. So apparently, confrontation was her only option.
She entered the cafeteria and headed straight for the kitchen. She actually expected to hear more preparation noises coming from the room. As she entered, the first thing she noticed that there was all of 2 people in the room. How is this possible? They couldn't fix meals for over 1500 adolescents with only 2 people?!?
"What are you doing back here?" the older cafeteria lady growled. "You kids aren't allowed back here."
Lana tried a smile. She didn't want to put them on the defensive too quickly. "Are you the only two that work this station? That's amazing if it's true."
Cafeteria Lady #1 (she didn't give her name, so Lana needed someway to separate them in her mind) barked with laughter. "What are you? Slow? Of course we're not the only two people that prepare the food here."
"Well, I'm glad that you haven't been given that Herculean task." Lana smiled again and held out her hand. "My name is Lana Lang and I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for the Torch."
"I know who you are, Miss Lang," sneered C.L. #1. "I didn't know you had the brains to work at the paper. I thought you had one of your sycophants doing all your homework for you."
"Excuse me?" Lana was shocked at the obvious antagonism of the woman.
"You heard me. You think just 'cause I work in the cafeteria that I don't see how you're treated. You're Smallville's own little princess. Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth, I'm sure."
Lana could feel her blood start to boil. She'd been trying for years to live down that reputation. It was no secret that her parents had died in that meteor shower, but she hadn't asked to be photographed by Time and made the poster child for the tragedy. And here was this woman that probably barely had a high school education passing judgment on her. "Whatever," she bit out. She wanted this done as soon as possible. "I wanted to ask if you were satisfied with the nutritional value of the food served from this kitchen."
"Of course I am. You brats think you deserve gourmet meals. But Mr. Peterson does a good job to make sure you get what you need, so there's no cause for complaint."
"We do pay for our meals, you know."
"Sure you do, at an extremely generous rate. You will eat what we prepare for you and like it. Now get out of my kitchen. I have work to do." C.L. #1 turned her back on her.
Lana had never been so insulted in her life. Just who does that woman think she is? She's supposed to be serving the student body, but she has such a disdain for the students that it was actually surprising that she hasn't tried to poison us yet. She stalked out of the kitchen, trembling with rage.
"Miss Lang," came a whisper around the corner as she left the cafeteria.
Lana turned around and looked. It was the second cafeteria lady. "Can I help you?" Lana asked, her voice dripping with ice.
"You said you were doing an article about the food here?" The lady looked around nervously. Lana wondered why she was being so paranoid.
"I am. Did you have something you wanted to add to what you cohort said?"
"Maude is an old battleaxe. She supports Mr. Peterson 'cause he pays her well. I just started so I don't get her benefits."
"What benefits would those be?" Lana was curious now. Oh, if I could do an expose on that woman in there… maybe get her fired… That would be lovely! She shivered in joy.
"Christine, where are you? I swear if you're slacking on the job…" The bellow came from the cafeteria.
Christine jumped nervously. "Okay, I can't talk now. Meet me behind the school by the kitchen door after school. I'll tell you everything then." Lana didn't even have time to thank her before she had scurried away.
Now isn't that interesting, Lana thought as she hurried back to her next class.
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Lana walked behind the school, looking about her carefully. She really didn't want to run into Maude just before this clandestine meeting. She may be tempted to kick her teeth in and the principal really frowned on abuse ofschool workers as a rule. She edged closer and closer to the door, hoping that Christine would call out to her soon.
"I can't believe that traitorous whore was going to blow the whistle on us." Maude's voice came out clearly from the kitchen. Lana ducked behind one of the trash cans that lined the school.
A low voice responded. "Are you really surprised? I told you not to tell anyone about our system here. What were you thinking?" and the sound of flesh hitting flesh reached Lana's ears.
"How could you hit me like that?" Maude's voice was becoming very shrill indeed.
"Because you're stupid and can only think as far as your next paycheck." Menace oozed out of the voice. "You will need assistance, and I will pick your next coworker."
"You know, I could spill the beans just as easily as Christine." Maude's voice had the sound of tears in it.
"And would you want to wind up in her situation?" A hint of laughter was heard that gave greater meaning to the menace of before.
"No! No, sir! I am your faithful employee. Have I ever done anything that would make you think otherwise?" Maude's groveling made Lana want to wretch. What had they done with Christine anyway?
"And you had better remain so. Remember, as much as you think you have on me, I have ten times more on you. Or would you like the school board to know of the prison record you neglected to inform them of?" Loud weeping could be heard. "I didn't think so. Now get back to work. I want this place cleaned and ready for the morning."
Footsteps headed towards Lana. She ducked even further behind her trash can, peaking out through the crack between the can and the wall. The form of Mr. Peterson exited the kitchen and headed down the alley, opposite Lana. She breathed a sigh of relief. It would have been really awful for him to have found her there… especially if he'd done something permanent to Christine for even thinking about talking to her. It was obvious now that there was no way she could go back to him to ask more questions. She waited there, wanting to make sure he was gone before she moved.
"Stupid jackass! I should just quit this damn job! It's not worth it! I could find work elsewhere." Maude's voice came nearer and Lana held her breath. Suddenly a bag was slammed into the garbage can and burst… dumping all of its contents on Lana's head. Dripping with slime, she headed back to the Torch. She really needed to do some more research... and take a shower.
