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Chapter 16

"Hello?" Mark's raspy voice answered.

"Hi." I said somewhat meekly.

I heard his breath catch in his throat, "I didn't think we'd ever talk again, princess." He admitted.

"Mark, will you be honest with me? I mean completely honest." I asked no longer wanting to hear what he thought I should know, I needed the truth and I needed it from him.

"What do you want to know?"

"You beat him up didn't you?" I asked bluntly.

"Who?"

"Sara's new man."

Mark sighed, "Yes."

"And correct me if I'm wrong, but she's in love with him and though she loves you too... she feels she can have a normal life with this other guy, right?"

"Yes."

"Wasn't she enough?"

"Dammit, Marti." He cursed realizing that I knew all the answers to the questions I was asking.

"Answer me." I ordered not wanting him to try and change the subject.

"Yes and no."

I let out a long irritated breath, "C'mon Mark... Talk to me, this isn't yes or no questions... You know from my questions that I've gotten that much, I need to understand all of it." I pleaded.

I could hear Mark tapping something on his end of the line as if in thought and his breaths came long and ragged, "I loved her completely... but, she didn't like me being on the road all the time. She told me that she needed a man around everyday to tend to her needs, not just sexually but emotionally too. So, we talked about it and the only solution we could come up with to make us both happy, was to make the marriage open. It was fine for a while and sometimes we would watch each other with our lovers and it made it somewhat exciting for us, it was new... but then she met the guy she's with now and the next thing you know, we're fighting all the time and she is screaming how unhappy she was with me. I hated doing it, all of it, but I wanted to make her happy and I wanted to still be in the business."

I felt my eyes tearing up as he put into words everything that had made up his life for the past several months, and I couldn't help but feel my stomach flip as I asked him the next question, "And me?"

"God help me..." He sighed in defeat.

"Please Mark, make it right."

"You... are slowly taking the place of the one woman I have ever really loved in my life. You have all of the traits that I loved about her, but then you have things about you that I never thought I'd find appealing."

"Like what?"

"Cheyenne, this really isn't fair..."

I nodded, "You're right, it hasn't been since the beginning, and now you are going to tell me what I already know... I have to hear you say it."

Again he emitted the defeated sigh, "Cheyenne, since that first day I've had this attraction to you that I couldn't explain. I can't control it either. You knocked me on my ass. You are so up front and honest, pulling no punches with what you think and you're carefree and spirited like no one I've ever met in my life. You work hard to be the best at everything that is put in front of you... I've been dying to tell you how I feel about you and yet I can't put it into words. The only thing I can think of to describe what I feel is, fire... You have ignited this flame inside of me and I've tried to put it out on my own, but it just sits there kindling waiting for you to come around again. No one has ever made me feel this way before... I want to get to know you, Chey, all of you."

"So break this down for me... what do you want, where do you want to go from here?"

"I want to fall in love with you. I want to see your hair sprayed across my pillow in the morning and I want to hold you every night... But most of all I need to know what you want, so I know where I need to go from here."

"You want to know what I want?" I asked shocked by his admittance. Through this whole ordeal I haven't given much thought as to what I may want. I know I care for him and I know that I enjoy spending time with him, but it that enough... am I enough?

"Yes." he answered bluntly.

"Ok, I want you to come back to the camp, begin to let yourself heal and become my friend..."

"Chey..." he cut in.

"No, Mark, listen... if you had known me and really cared to learn anything about me while you were here before, you'd have known you wouldn't have to hind things or lie to me to get my attentions. You want it, you have to work for it. I'm not going to lie, I am VERY attracted to you and that kiss you laid on me would've been returned with as much passion, but the time and situation wasn't right. You had my brain concentrating on a marriage that didn't involve me, that was too broken to be fixed, and that your heart really wasn't in. Instead, from what you are saying, you where focused on me. But, you will not have me on a silver platter like you had Sara. I will keep you on your toes."

"Do you really mean what you are saying?" He asked uncertainty filling his voice.

"That I might want to see where this leads? Yes. That you will really have to work for me? Defiantly. All of the answers that you seek are within yourself, Mark. It all depends on you. If you really want me and all of me, then you will have to prove yourself to me. You know where to find me, when you make up your mind as to what you really want."

"But, you aren't telling me what it is that YOU really want." He isisted.

I sighed, "Why don't you come and find out?" I asked quietly hanging up the phone.

I am not the type of person to lay a challenge out to someone over my heart, but during this conversation I realized that I did love some of the things I knew about Mark. Sure he has his faults but don't we all. Thinking about the times we were together, I now can pin point some different moments in time when it appeared that he was attempting to show me that he was developing feelings. I guess I was just too worried about the wrong things to see them before... hell, I had already told myself that he was off limits from the word go, because of his marriage. I do that with all the guys walking in and out of the training program... It was hard enough for me as a single female to gain the respect of people in the wrestling world with out trying to use my feminine whiles to my advantage and being laughed at for it. It was almost as if everyone is expecting you to try and use the fact that you have a vagina to gain access to the top, to solicit your ability in the bedroom instead of the ring. I will not succumb to that, ever. I will be the one they remember fighting for everything I got and deserving every bit of it, without taking someone into my bed. If this relationship with Mark goes somewhere it will not effect my place in this business.


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